Got Me Wrong
by Princess of Monkeys
A/N: This is sort of a companion piece to my monstrous epic thingie, My Heart in Your Hands; this story takes place between chapters 13 and 14. But, if you're not reading that story, it's okay- this is just a side story, which stands perfectly fine on its own. There's just a few little details you should know- this takes place in a slightly different continuity, one where the events of Stuff of Villains happened several weeks after Mainstream, not the very next day. And there's a reference to a Rogue-Remy pairing in this, even though it focuses on Kitty and Lance. The title comes from the Alice in Chains song of the same name- one of my favorite bands of all time. I hope I get the characterizations right in this one- I always tend to sort of see Kitty as being similar to me, and I end up seeing Lance just like one of the guys I always end up dating- a bad boy with a good heart, deep down. Anyways, happy reading, and as always, please review!
Kitty stormed out of the rec room, ponytail swishing angrily. _That girl is so impossibly stubborn!_ Rogue had just returned from a midnight rendezvous with Remy, and an unexpected kiss. And while most girls would be ecstatic, she was being a total basket case, because she'd absorbed his memories and now knew that he wanted to be with her. _She just got all the guesswork taken out of her relationship, and she's refusing to even have that relationship in the first place! How does that make sense at all? Just cause she can't touch him doesn't mean they can't be together- all she has to do is try!_ She'd said the very same thing aloud only moments before, right before storming out of the room.
She tried to muffle her steps as she made her way back to the room she shared with both Rogue and Jean during the reconstruction process- Jean had already been woken up once tonight, and the red head would be mighty cranky in the morning. Phasing through the door, she tiptoed across the floor and slipped into her bed. She shifted around under the covers, trying to get comfortable, but despite the fact that it was nearing 3:30 in the morning, her thoughts were too chaotic for slumber. She kept coming back to what she'd said about her relationship with Lance, when Rogue had brought up the subject- "at least we tried!" _But did we really? Or did we just say horrible things to each other and let the whole thing fall apart?_ She honestly hadn't meant to call him a hood- the words had just sort of slipped out. And then he'd said he'd never been good enough for her anyways, and it had made her even more angry, and she had just turned her back on him, and it had been over, just like that. Part of her had wanted to turn around, run after him and say she was sorry, that she didn't mean it- but she hadn't. She'd just let her pride rule her, and walked away from him- from them.
They had pointedly, painfully avoided each other ever since- the day before yesterday, when she and Rogue had gone after them to keep them from hurting anyone during Pietro's rescue, had been the first time she'd seen him. And it had hurt, to realize she still cared about him so much.
She knew what her words had done to him; she'd seen it in his eyes the moment before he spoke those damning words. And she knew she'd been wrong. _I just yelled at Rogue for refusing to try- do I want to be a big hypocrite and do the same thing?_ Pondering an answer, she finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning was unpleasant, to say the least. Jean, predictably, was in a mood because she'd been woken up; the way she slammed everyone's dishes around with her mind at the breakfast table made even the normally silent Logan comment. And everyone was gradually picking up on the fact that Rogue wasn't speaking to Kitty. The Southerner completely ignored her- even Kitty's requests for her to pass the butter went unheeded, and when Kitty finally phased halfway through the table to get it for herself, Logan yelled at her!
As they all trooped out to their respective rides, Kurt caught both Rogue and Kitty by the arms, and demanded "Vhat is going on vith you two?" Rogue merely gave him one of her death glares, shook herself free, and stalked over to Scott's car. Kurt looked at Kitty, who phased her arm free of his grip and stated calmly "it's between her and me, Kurt." She walked over to Scott's car too, and phased through the door into the backseat. Bewildered, the German mutant switched on his inducer and bamfed into the backseat between them, still confused. Who understood girls anyway?
The rest of the day did not improve. Amanda had asked Kitty what was wrong- she'd seen the looks Rogue had been giving her as the group stood together in the hall during a passing period- but as much as she wanted to confide in the human girl, she knew Amanda couldn't keep secrets from her boyfriend, and she didn't want Kurt getting involved in the whole mess. She just made up some lame excuse about being swamped with schoolwork and not sleeping well, completely bypassing the whole thing between herself and Rogue. Amanda had looked slightly hurt, seeing through her excuses and thinking that Kitty didn't trust her, but she hadn't pressed the issue. Kitty felt bad for hurting her feelings, but what could she tell her? That Rogue was mad at her because she'd told the other girl the truth, and that she was so distracted because she was thinking up ways to get back together with her ex boyfriend, which no one would approve of?
Rogue had spent the entire lunch period glaring daggers at her across the table, and then she'd had to run extra laps in p.e., since the coach hated the mutant kids and made it quite obvious at every opportunity. Then, to top it all off, there'd been a pop quiz in French, which was usually one of her best subjects. But since she was so distracted, Kitty was sure she'd gotten every question wrong. When the final bell rang, Kitty was so eager to be gone that she was the first one out of the room, nearly phasing through the door before she remembered where she was. Deliberately leaving her books in her locker so she'd have an excuse to go back, she met everyone out by Scott's car, and told him she was going to the library to work on a paper for her English class.
Scott, predictably, wanted to drive her there. "Look, Kitty, it's on the way home-" but she shook her head. "I want to walk there, Scott- it's like, a totally nice day. And I have to go back to my locker anyways- I forgot my books- you guys would all just have to wait for me." Rogue started tapping her foot impatiently, a signal that she, clearly, did not want to wait for Kitty to go to her locker and come back, and Scott sighed. "I dunno, Kitty- it's not safe to be out alone- a lot of people hate us, you know."
"Scott, it's broad daylight! Nobody's going to try to hurt me- and even if they did, I can phase through anyone. C'mon- I just want a little time to myself. Please?" She wheedled, giving Scott the puppy dog look that always worked on her father, and he finally caved in. "All right, but I'll come get you at seven- I don't want you walking home alone in the dark." Kitty readily agreed, and turned back to the school, ostensibly heading towards her locker.
Kitty made it back into the school, and did go to her locker- it would be really stupid of her to forget her books, and get caught out in her lie. She had no intention of going to the library to study, and she knew that neither Scott nor anyone else would approve of her plans for the afternoon. She felt so strange and daring, more like Tabby or Rogue, and completely unlike herself. Just a few days ago, she'd cut class for the first time in her life, and now she was lying to her team leader. _I really hope this is worth it,_ she thought, squaring her shoulders resolutely. After checking the parking lot to make sure Scott and the others had really gone, she turned away from the school, walking in the opposite direction from the library, towards the older, seedier part of town.
As she walked, she began to feel more and more unsure of herself. _What am I doing? What if he's not even there? What if he hooked up with someone else? What if he hates me now?_ The thoughts swirled around inside her mind, filling her with doubts and fears. What if it couldn't be saved? What if she'd been wrong about everything? What if Scott had been right, and he'd never really cared about her at all? If so, then what exactly was she trying to save? _But the look on his face that night... You can't fake that. He was hurt, and if he never really cared about me, he wouldn't have looked like that. That was real. We were real_
She remembered the look on his face when she'd asked him to go to the dance with her. He'd tried to play it so cool, but when he'd said yes, there had been.... Something in his eyes, something unguarded and soft, flickering there for just a moment. Hope and longing and... happiness. Despite Kurt's interdimensional monsters, she had really enjoyed herself. Though it had never been exactly official, they had been a couple from that night on.
Lance had really tried for her- spending his meager paychecks from his part time job at the garage on taking her to the only vegetarian restaurant in town; attempting to teach her to play guitar, even though she had failed miserably; winning her all those stuffed animals at the fundraising carnival that he hadn't even wanted to go to.... And yet, she'd almost been.... Ashamed of him. In all the time they had been together, she had never even once gone to sit with him and his friends at lunch. She'd always made excuses, even after the rest of her teammates knew they were together, but deep down, she knew it had been wrong. Sure, Toad smelled and Pietro was insufferably arrogant, and Fred kinda gave her the creeps, after what he'd done to Jean; but still, she hadn't even sat with Lance once. He'd put up with all her friends' disdain- Scott's rude comments, Jean's icy politeness, Kurt's dirty looks, and the way everyone else ignored him and treated him with contempt, even the new recruits who'd once thought he would be one of them. And though he'd complained plenty, and argued with Scott in the halls on a regular basis, he'd done it for her. And she had refused to even try to put up with his friends even once. So what kind of person did that make her?
Uncomfortable with her thoughts, she kept walking. Sunlight glinted off broken beer bottles lying in the gutter, and cigarette butts crumpled under her feet as she turned down the familiar streets, getting ever closer to the Brotherhood house. Passing similarly dilapidated houses, lawns yellow and dead or overgrown and choking with weeds, she really looked around and noticed her surroundings for the first time. Many of the houses had boarded up windows, where the glass had been busted out. She could hear a baby crying somewhere off down the street, and people screaming at each other from up the block. A sound of something breaking came from the house she was walking by, and she quickened her pace.
For the first time, she thought she understood what had prompted him to say he'd never been good enough for her. Who lived in a neighborhood like this if they had the choice to go elsewhere? But she'd never seen it- just gone back home to the mansion every night, slept in her comfortable bed and woken up, sure that there would be food on the table and a roof over her head in the morning. Even back home in Illinois, Lance had been the one living in a foster home, wearing thrift shop clothes, while she'd practically lived in The Gap and had never even heard her parents argue, before her powers manifested. _But he was still wrong._
She stopped in front of the house, seeing Lance's jeep parked out front, knowing it was now or never. _Well, at least he's here,_ she thought, taking a deep breath and stepping up to the front door. Placing her ear against the much pitted and scarred wood, she listened for a moment, making sure no one was in the front room. After a moment, she carefully stepped through the door, relieved to see no one about. The house was quiet, a rarity, and she cautiously took a few steps further into the cavernous house. She'd been here a few times before, but this was the worst she'd ever seen the place- it looked like mold was growing in the walls, and she suppressed the urge to sneeze. Broken glass crunched underfoot, and she stepped carefully, noting the broken window the glass must have come from. Large, jagged cracks ran across the walls and floor, making the footing uneven, testament to Lance's quick temper. She walked past the sagging sofa, staring for a moment at the armchairs with broken feet, being held up by stacked phone books. Only the television remained unbroken- a small collection of videos and DVD's sat next to it in an untidy heap, most bearing the labels of local video stores, long ago stolen by some member of the household. Stepping over several old pizza boxes, she came to the stairs, hesitantly placing her weight at the edges, trying to avoid making them squeak. She didn't want to come face to face with any of the rest of the Brotherhood, especially Wanda- that girl just flat out scared her. They'd probably just attack her for being in their house, and she wasn't too sure at this point if Lance would come to her rescue, or just join in with them.
She got up to the landing without alerting anyone to her presence, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She could hear music coming from one room down the hall- Lance's room. Moving towards it, she stood in front of the door for a moment, gathering herself. Suddenly, the house came alive all around her. The front door opened, and she heard the heavy thud of Fred's footsteps, as well as Tabby's voice- evidently, the blonde had moved back in after all. At that moment, a door slammed open further down the hall, and she could hear Toad, voice pleading, saying to someone who must be Wanda "Aww, c'mon babycakes, it's just a movie- I'll even brush my teeth!" Seconds later, Kitty hurriedly stepped into the wall, as Toad came flying down the hall, surrounded by blue crackling energy, and bounced off the banister. As he crumpled to the floor, muttering dazedly, Wanda screamed "stay out of my room, Toad!" and slammed the door again. Once more the house was quiet, and Kitty could hear the music clearly, and even though she wasn't actually in the room, she could picture it clearly. Lance would be sitting on his bed, playing his guitar along with the song, singing the words- it was how he'd taught himself to play, just listening to the songs and playing what he heard. He sang softly but clearly, and Kitty could hear his voice clearly over the guitar and the background of the CD. It felt like he was singing to her, even though he didn't even know she was there.
"As of now I bet you got me wrong, so unsure you run from something strong," he sang, and Kitty's brain whirled. That line sounded like it had been written for her, and she missed the next few lines, lost in thought. Lance sang on, oblivious to the girl inside the wall, merely inches away from him. "I haven't felt like this in so long; wrong, in a sense too far gone from love, that don't last forever, something's gotta turn out right.." it was only the guitar for a few moments, and Kitty found herself strangely reluctant to step through the wall. She wanted to hear the rest of the song- wanted to know how he really felt, before she walked into the room and he put up his wall to try and keep her out, the way she knew he would.
"You, sugar taste, sweetness doesn't often touch my face; stay, if you please, you may not be here when I leave..."
When he came in on the chorus line, Kitty hummed quietly along while he sang. "As of now I bet you got me wrong, so unsure we reach for something strong...." _Maybe we got each other wrong,_ Kitty thought, gathering up her courage and stepping through the wall. She emerged in the middle of his bed, standing there only inches away from him, and she quickly took a few more steps, clearing the bed and leaning against the wall near his window.
Lance's eyes widened, and his voice faltered as he missed the fingering. Nearly dropping his guitar as he set it down, his face almost looked hopeful as he stood up, but then the light in his eyes died, and his expression became closed and shuttered. Smacking his hand down on the CD player to shut it off, he commented caustically "What, back to call me names again? Or didja just miss slummin' it? Whatsa matter, you get sick of living in your big mansion up on the hill and decide to come see how the other half live? Well, you came, you saw, now get out."
Her face reddened, but Kitty stood her ground. "There is no more mansion on the hill- your boss blew it up and you know it!" She retorted, trying not to let her anger get the best of her. "Oh, so you want me to feel sorry for you now, is that it? Well, guess what. I don't!" He marched over to her and grabbed for her arm, intending to throw her out of his room bodily, but Kitty was having none of that. His hand passed harmlessly through her, and he muttered "dammit, I hate when you do that! Just get out of my room, Pryde- I don't want to hear anything you have to say. You already said plenty three weeks ago. I just don't care anymore." The floor rumbled ominously underfoot, but she remained intangible.
Kitty was stung by the way he used her last name- he'd never done that to her before. He only used people's last names when he really didn't like them. She'd expected him to be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to be this bad. _Then again, how naïve am I- did I just expect him to take me back and forget anything ever happened?_ Semi- disgusted with herself, she said to him "Oh, really? 'Cause if you don't care so much, then why are you so mad that I'm here?" Lance, taken aback, paused slightly at this, looking confused. She pressed her advantage. "Look, I didn't come here for a fight! We already had one of those, and it sucked," she said, raw honesty in her voice. "I was... wrong. We both were wrong- it's like that song you were just playing," she said helplessly. Lance stepped away from her, and she cautiously became tangible again, hoping he wasn't just waiting for her to drop her guard so he could toss her out. But he stepped further back, sitting down on his bed again, and she cautiously sat down on the edge, away from him.
They were both silent for a moment, and Kitty, looking at the floor, said in a small voice "I didn't mean it. It just came out, honest. I was just so.... mad. Duncan hates us- hates you, and you guys were fighting with him, trying to get us all kicked out! Why? I just didn't understand, and I still don't!" She sounded so lost, and Lance felt the ice crack just a little. _Damn, she still gets to me,_ he thought, almost angry with himself for being so weak around her. It had been so easy to feel self righteous and angry when they'd been avoiding each other, but now she was here, in his room, talking to him, and it was a lot harder to summon up the rage he'd originally felt after everything had gone down. He had missed her, missed everything about her, as much as he'd never wanted to admit it, but he'd reconciled himself to the fact that everything between them was over. Or, he though he had. But now that she was here, he wasn't so sure anymore.
When he didn't say anything, she sighed, drained. "Fine- I guess there was, like, no point to me coming here. I'm sorry for wasting your time," she said bitterly, rising from the bed, and Lance's hand shot out to grab her, to keep her from leaving. But instead of grabbing her arm like he usually did, he caught her hand, and she looked down, surprised. "Wait," he said, pulling her back down to sit closer to him. He didn't release her hand, not even noticing that he still held it as she sat back down. Kitty looked down at their hands, and let herself feel some hope that maybe this hadn't been a bad idea after all.
In the calmest, quietest voice Kitty had ever heard him use, Lance said "you know why I did it, pretty Kitty?" His use of her old nickname made her feel better, and she bit down on her lip to keep from smiling. "It wasn't about Matthews, or even the chance to beat up Summers." She frowned at that, but said nothing- nothing she said would ever change how he felt about her friend. "You know whose idea it was? Kelly's" he said with disgust. "He set the whole thing up, said he'd sign off, change our records so we could all have clean slates, could all get out. I should have known better- someone like that never keeps a promise to 'muties'." He shook his head, disgusted with himself for believing the man's lie. "But, as always, the whole thing went wrong. I didn't want to fight you, Kitty- I never do! But, when you're the bad guys, you don't really have a choice, I guess," he said sarcastically.
"That's bull, Lance," Kitty shot back. "You always have a choice. You're way better than all that, don't lie to yourself!"
"Way better than what, Kitty? Maybe you didn't mean what you said, but I did. I never was good enough for you."
Kitty had been calming down, but now her temper flared up again. "You're the only one of us who thought that, I never did! You thought you knew what kind of person I was just by looking at me, you judged me the first time you ever saw me in the halls back home! You never spoke a single word to me until I fell out of that locker on top of you- you didn't know me at all, but you sure thought you did!"
Lance had the grace to look slightly ashamed and a bit thoughtful, but Kitty was far from finished. "You want to know something? You always assumed that I got stuck in that locker because my powers went crazy. Well, guess what. I used to get shoved into my locker almost every day. The janitor had to come by every afternoon and let me out after Riley and her friends locked me in. And everyone always just watched and laughed and never did a damn thing about it. You looked at how I dressed and how I talked and the classes I took, and thought I must be one of those stuck up popular people. Boy, were you ever wrong. The popular people knew you could fight back." Her voice was bitter, and Lance said "Dammit Kitty, I never knew-"
"You never wanted to know! You wanted to see me in a certain way, and look where that got us! I saw you wrong too- I never though you weren't good enough for me, but maybe I just didn't look beyond who you hung out with and where you lived. But we're just... us."
She looked up at him, and the dim sunlight caught the tears in her sparkling blue eyes, turning them to glistening jewels. Oh yeah, she still got to him. She thawed him out, made him feel like more than just a loser foster care kid with holes in his clothes and nothing in his head. He wanted to be better, be a better man for her, but he'd never known how. He never knew how to do anything for her, except screw everything all up. She looked so small and fragile, and sometimes all he'd ever wanted to do was wrap her up and hide her somewhere until the world was a better place, until they didn't have to fight each other anymore. It was the reason he always took her on when the Brotherhood and X-Geeks fought- he'd pull his punches for her, not hurt her, and he knew none of the other guys would have any qualms about hurting her. But she was tough- a lot tougher than he'd ever given her credit for before. She'd been strong enough to stand up to him- and strong enough to be the first one to admit she'd been wrong. Things would never be easy for them- aside from their respective alliances, he knew he had an explosive temper. But he knew, too, that she'd stand up to him now.
He nodded at her, squeezing her hand in his own. "Yeah, I guess we are just us. Way more screwed up than most couples, huh?" Kitty laughed, a little bit hysterical with relief, and said "yeah, Springer's got nothing on us!" _He said couple. Are we back together? Did he actually forgive me? Is something finally going to turn out right?_
Almost before either of them quite realized what was happening, Kitty leaned forward to kiss him, pressing his shoulders down onto the bed until she was on top of him. She was so sweet and soft, smooth skin pressed against him, her hair tickling his face.... And the rational part of his brain, what little wasn't being fully engaged by the passion of her kiss, was giving him dire warnings if what her housemates would do to him if things went too far, as they all too easily could. He'd been around the block a few times, knew the way things went between people. _And she's sixteen and doesn't know what she's doing, but if she did she wouldn't be going there._ He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't ready to start going that far with him, and as much as he wanted to be with her, he wanted it to be right. Gently he nudged her off him, shifting her over to the side, and she gave him a clueless, quizzical look. "Uh, air," he said lamely, and she said 'oh," repositioning herself to curl up next to him and lean her head on his shoulder. They stayed in silence for a while, just being together, and then lapsed into small talk, anecdotes about their friends, and Kitty's complaints about the inanity of school. "So what are you going to do now, Lance? You can't be an evil minion forever, you know," she said lightly, trying to crack a joke. They'd sat up a little on the bed, leaning against the wall, and she was leaning against him, head still on his shoulder. He pulled her closer as she asked her question, arms around her, and he looked down at her, a brittle smile on his face. "I dunno. I'm getting more hours at the garage now, but there's got to be more, you know? Sometimes I'm not sure why I didn't just leave, after we got kicked out of school. There's got to be more to life than fighting these battles and Magneto trying to take over the world- it's like that cartoon, with the two mice and one of them is always trying to take over the world, every night- it just gets so old sometimes."
"Oh yeah, 'Pinky and the Brain.' Why did you stay?" Curiosity hinged in her voice, and a fair bit of hope. As silly as it was, as unfair as it was, she wanted to be a reason.
"Lots of reasons, I guess. They guys and Wanda- she kinda creeps me, but she's got her good moments. Even Tabs calms down sometimes. But I kinda feel responsible for them. Who else is going to care? I mean, whenever we're not immediately useful, Mags and Mystique just ditch us. But we don't go away- we're still here, living, and someone's got to keep it that way." Seeing the look on her face, he finally admitted "Yeah, and it's you, too. I figured we were done and over; I thought you'd never give me another chance. But I couldn't just leave without knowing."
"You could come back to school, you know- the Professor would help you out, help you get back in..."
But he shook his head. "Cue ball doesn't tell you guys anything, huh? He was fighting for us, but there isn't anything else he could do. We didn't get expelled, Kitty- school board said he can't expel mutants just for being mutants. Kelly found a loophole- all of us except Toad and Tabs are eighteen, legal adults. He put out restraining orders on all of us- we can't come within 500 feet of school property. Toad just stopped going 'cause he was scared to be the only one there, and Tabby ditches most of the time anyways."
"But how are you ever going to graduate?"
"My boss is letting me use his computer at work to do this GED thing online. I'm smarter than I look- I actually passed a few classes, I think I can handle it. See, you won't be dating an evil, high school drop out minion forever." He teased her, and she laughed. Looking across the room at the clock, she gasped in horror- it read 6:45.
"Omigod- Scott's supposed to pick me up from the library in fifteen minutes, and he's neurotically on time! We've so got to go now, or I'll be grounded for forever!" Hardly giving him time to grab the keys to his jeep, she grabbed his hand and phased him through the floor, and then dragged him through the door, ignoring the faces of his housemates who were gathered around the television, wondering how Kitty had ever gotten into the house in the first place. "Lemme drive!" She demanded, and he said "No way! You don't even have a license!" Hands on her hips, she retorted "I drive way faster than you, just give me the keys! And I have my permit, its okay, you're eighteen, but the cops can't catch me anyways!" She took the keys from him, and he had no choice but to hop in the passenger seat, knowing he was going to regret this.
By the time they arrived at the library, several stop signs were embedded in the back of his vehicle, and Lance was gripping the dashboard with white, bloodless knuckles. The clock read 6:57. Lance snatched his keys back from her, muttering "you are never driving my car again!" She had spoken true- she did drive way faster than him. Through other cars. And stop signs. And anything else she felt like driving through.
Sighing, she phased the stop signs out of his trunk. "Quit being such a baby- I didn't scratch your paint, like Tabby does," she pointed out, and all Lance could do was groan. "Go on, or else Summers is gonna try to pound me," he said, catching sight of the red convertible speeding along the street towards them. Cradling her face, he kissed her quickly. "I'll call you, all right? Just don't get grounded for forever." She laughed, racing over to slide through the door of the convertible, as Lance's adversary pulled up to the curb. The sound of her laughter stayed with him, and he even let Summers get away with the dirty look, forbearing to make the road buckle in front of him only because Kitty was in the car too.
He got into his jeep, readjusting the seat, and turned the radio on, cruising home. The song he'd been playing earlier came on the air, and he smiled. _Yeah, maybe something is gonna turn out right._
by Princess of Monkeys
A/N: This is sort of a companion piece to my monstrous epic thingie, My Heart in Your Hands; this story takes place between chapters 13 and 14. But, if you're not reading that story, it's okay- this is just a side story, which stands perfectly fine on its own. There's just a few little details you should know- this takes place in a slightly different continuity, one where the events of Stuff of Villains happened several weeks after Mainstream, not the very next day. And there's a reference to a Rogue-Remy pairing in this, even though it focuses on Kitty and Lance. The title comes from the Alice in Chains song of the same name- one of my favorite bands of all time. I hope I get the characterizations right in this one- I always tend to sort of see Kitty as being similar to me, and I end up seeing Lance just like one of the guys I always end up dating- a bad boy with a good heart, deep down. Anyways, happy reading, and as always, please review!
Kitty stormed out of the rec room, ponytail swishing angrily. _That girl is so impossibly stubborn!_ Rogue had just returned from a midnight rendezvous with Remy, and an unexpected kiss. And while most girls would be ecstatic, she was being a total basket case, because she'd absorbed his memories and now knew that he wanted to be with her. _She just got all the guesswork taken out of her relationship, and she's refusing to even have that relationship in the first place! How does that make sense at all? Just cause she can't touch him doesn't mean they can't be together- all she has to do is try!_ She'd said the very same thing aloud only moments before, right before storming out of the room.
She tried to muffle her steps as she made her way back to the room she shared with both Rogue and Jean during the reconstruction process- Jean had already been woken up once tonight, and the red head would be mighty cranky in the morning. Phasing through the door, she tiptoed across the floor and slipped into her bed. She shifted around under the covers, trying to get comfortable, but despite the fact that it was nearing 3:30 in the morning, her thoughts were too chaotic for slumber. She kept coming back to what she'd said about her relationship with Lance, when Rogue had brought up the subject- "at least we tried!" _But did we really? Or did we just say horrible things to each other and let the whole thing fall apart?_ She honestly hadn't meant to call him a hood- the words had just sort of slipped out. And then he'd said he'd never been good enough for her anyways, and it had made her even more angry, and she had just turned her back on him, and it had been over, just like that. Part of her had wanted to turn around, run after him and say she was sorry, that she didn't mean it- but she hadn't. She'd just let her pride rule her, and walked away from him- from them.
They had pointedly, painfully avoided each other ever since- the day before yesterday, when she and Rogue had gone after them to keep them from hurting anyone during Pietro's rescue, had been the first time she'd seen him. And it had hurt, to realize she still cared about him so much.
She knew what her words had done to him; she'd seen it in his eyes the moment before he spoke those damning words. And she knew she'd been wrong. _I just yelled at Rogue for refusing to try- do I want to be a big hypocrite and do the same thing?_ Pondering an answer, she finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning was unpleasant, to say the least. Jean, predictably, was in a mood because she'd been woken up; the way she slammed everyone's dishes around with her mind at the breakfast table made even the normally silent Logan comment. And everyone was gradually picking up on the fact that Rogue wasn't speaking to Kitty. The Southerner completely ignored her- even Kitty's requests for her to pass the butter went unheeded, and when Kitty finally phased halfway through the table to get it for herself, Logan yelled at her!
As they all trooped out to their respective rides, Kurt caught both Rogue and Kitty by the arms, and demanded "Vhat is going on vith you two?" Rogue merely gave him one of her death glares, shook herself free, and stalked over to Scott's car. Kurt looked at Kitty, who phased her arm free of his grip and stated calmly "it's between her and me, Kurt." She walked over to Scott's car too, and phased through the door into the backseat. Bewildered, the German mutant switched on his inducer and bamfed into the backseat between them, still confused. Who understood girls anyway?
The rest of the day did not improve. Amanda had asked Kitty what was wrong- she'd seen the looks Rogue had been giving her as the group stood together in the hall during a passing period- but as much as she wanted to confide in the human girl, she knew Amanda couldn't keep secrets from her boyfriend, and she didn't want Kurt getting involved in the whole mess. She just made up some lame excuse about being swamped with schoolwork and not sleeping well, completely bypassing the whole thing between herself and Rogue. Amanda had looked slightly hurt, seeing through her excuses and thinking that Kitty didn't trust her, but she hadn't pressed the issue. Kitty felt bad for hurting her feelings, but what could she tell her? That Rogue was mad at her because she'd told the other girl the truth, and that she was so distracted because she was thinking up ways to get back together with her ex boyfriend, which no one would approve of?
Rogue had spent the entire lunch period glaring daggers at her across the table, and then she'd had to run extra laps in p.e., since the coach hated the mutant kids and made it quite obvious at every opportunity. Then, to top it all off, there'd been a pop quiz in French, which was usually one of her best subjects. But since she was so distracted, Kitty was sure she'd gotten every question wrong. When the final bell rang, Kitty was so eager to be gone that she was the first one out of the room, nearly phasing through the door before she remembered where she was. Deliberately leaving her books in her locker so she'd have an excuse to go back, she met everyone out by Scott's car, and told him she was going to the library to work on a paper for her English class.
Scott, predictably, wanted to drive her there. "Look, Kitty, it's on the way home-" but she shook her head. "I want to walk there, Scott- it's like, a totally nice day. And I have to go back to my locker anyways- I forgot my books- you guys would all just have to wait for me." Rogue started tapping her foot impatiently, a signal that she, clearly, did not want to wait for Kitty to go to her locker and come back, and Scott sighed. "I dunno, Kitty- it's not safe to be out alone- a lot of people hate us, you know."
"Scott, it's broad daylight! Nobody's going to try to hurt me- and even if they did, I can phase through anyone. C'mon- I just want a little time to myself. Please?" She wheedled, giving Scott the puppy dog look that always worked on her father, and he finally caved in. "All right, but I'll come get you at seven- I don't want you walking home alone in the dark." Kitty readily agreed, and turned back to the school, ostensibly heading towards her locker.
Kitty made it back into the school, and did go to her locker- it would be really stupid of her to forget her books, and get caught out in her lie. She had no intention of going to the library to study, and she knew that neither Scott nor anyone else would approve of her plans for the afternoon. She felt so strange and daring, more like Tabby or Rogue, and completely unlike herself. Just a few days ago, she'd cut class for the first time in her life, and now she was lying to her team leader. _I really hope this is worth it,_ she thought, squaring her shoulders resolutely. After checking the parking lot to make sure Scott and the others had really gone, she turned away from the school, walking in the opposite direction from the library, towards the older, seedier part of town.
As she walked, she began to feel more and more unsure of herself. _What am I doing? What if he's not even there? What if he hooked up with someone else? What if he hates me now?_ The thoughts swirled around inside her mind, filling her with doubts and fears. What if it couldn't be saved? What if she'd been wrong about everything? What if Scott had been right, and he'd never really cared about her at all? If so, then what exactly was she trying to save? _But the look on his face that night... You can't fake that. He was hurt, and if he never really cared about me, he wouldn't have looked like that. That was real. We were real_
She remembered the look on his face when she'd asked him to go to the dance with her. He'd tried to play it so cool, but when he'd said yes, there had been.... Something in his eyes, something unguarded and soft, flickering there for just a moment. Hope and longing and... happiness. Despite Kurt's interdimensional monsters, she had really enjoyed herself. Though it had never been exactly official, they had been a couple from that night on.
Lance had really tried for her- spending his meager paychecks from his part time job at the garage on taking her to the only vegetarian restaurant in town; attempting to teach her to play guitar, even though she had failed miserably; winning her all those stuffed animals at the fundraising carnival that he hadn't even wanted to go to.... And yet, she'd almost been.... Ashamed of him. In all the time they had been together, she had never even once gone to sit with him and his friends at lunch. She'd always made excuses, even after the rest of her teammates knew they were together, but deep down, she knew it had been wrong. Sure, Toad smelled and Pietro was insufferably arrogant, and Fred kinda gave her the creeps, after what he'd done to Jean; but still, she hadn't even sat with Lance once. He'd put up with all her friends' disdain- Scott's rude comments, Jean's icy politeness, Kurt's dirty looks, and the way everyone else ignored him and treated him with contempt, even the new recruits who'd once thought he would be one of them. And though he'd complained plenty, and argued with Scott in the halls on a regular basis, he'd done it for her. And she had refused to even try to put up with his friends even once. So what kind of person did that make her?
Uncomfortable with her thoughts, she kept walking. Sunlight glinted off broken beer bottles lying in the gutter, and cigarette butts crumpled under her feet as she turned down the familiar streets, getting ever closer to the Brotherhood house. Passing similarly dilapidated houses, lawns yellow and dead or overgrown and choking with weeds, she really looked around and noticed her surroundings for the first time. Many of the houses had boarded up windows, where the glass had been busted out. She could hear a baby crying somewhere off down the street, and people screaming at each other from up the block. A sound of something breaking came from the house she was walking by, and she quickened her pace.
For the first time, she thought she understood what had prompted him to say he'd never been good enough for her. Who lived in a neighborhood like this if they had the choice to go elsewhere? But she'd never seen it- just gone back home to the mansion every night, slept in her comfortable bed and woken up, sure that there would be food on the table and a roof over her head in the morning. Even back home in Illinois, Lance had been the one living in a foster home, wearing thrift shop clothes, while she'd practically lived in The Gap and had never even heard her parents argue, before her powers manifested. _But he was still wrong._
She stopped in front of the house, seeing Lance's jeep parked out front, knowing it was now or never. _Well, at least he's here,_ she thought, taking a deep breath and stepping up to the front door. Placing her ear against the much pitted and scarred wood, she listened for a moment, making sure no one was in the front room. After a moment, she carefully stepped through the door, relieved to see no one about. The house was quiet, a rarity, and she cautiously took a few steps further into the cavernous house. She'd been here a few times before, but this was the worst she'd ever seen the place- it looked like mold was growing in the walls, and she suppressed the urge to sneeze. Broken glass crunched underfoot, and she stepped carefully, noting the broken window the glass must have come from. Large, jagged cracks ran across the walls and floor, making the footing uneven, testament to Lance's quick temper. She walked past the sagging sofa, staring for a moment at the armchairs with broken feet, being held up by stacked phone books. Only the television remained unbroken- a small collection of videos and DVD's sat next to it in an untidy heap, most bearing the labels of local video stores, long ago stolen by some member of the household. Stepping over several old pizza boxes, she came to the stairs, hesitantly placing her weight at the edges, trying to avoid making them squeak. She didn't want to come face to face with any of the rest of the Brotherhood, especially Wanda- that girl just flat out scared her. They'd probably just attack her for being in their house, and she wasn't too sure at this point if Lance would come to her rescue, or just join in with them.
She got up to the landing without alerting anyone to her presence, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She could hear music coming from one room down the hall- Lance's room. Moving towards it, she stood in front of the door for a moment, gathering herself. Suddenly, the house came alive all around her. The front door opened, and she heard the heavy thud of Fred's footsteps, as well as Tabby's voice- evidently, the blonde had moved back in after all. At that moment, a door slammed open further down the hall, and she could hear Toad, voice pleading, saying to someone who must be Wanda "Aww, c'mon babycakes, it's just a movie- I'll even brush my teeth!" Seconds later, Kitty hurriedly stepped into the wall, as Toad came flying down the hall, surrounded by blue crackling energy, and bounced off the banister. As he crumpled to the floor, muttering dazedly, Wanda screamed "stay out of my room, Toad!" and slammed the door again. Once more the house was quiet, and Kitty could hear the music clearly, and even though she wasn't actually in the room, she could picture it clearly. Lance would be sitting on his bed, playing his guitar along with the song, singing the words- it was how he'd taught himself to play, just listening to the songs and playing what he heard. He sang softly but clearly, and Kitty could hear his voice clearly over the guitar and the background of the CD. It felt like he was singing to her, even though he didn't even know she was there.
"As of now I bet you got me wrong, so unsure you run from something strong," he sang, and Kitty's brain whirled. That line sounded like it had been written for her, and she missed the next few lines, lost in thought. Lance sang on, oblivious to the girl inside the wall, merely inches away from him. "I haven't felt like this in so long; wrong, in a sense too far gone from love, that don't last forever, something's gotta turn out right.." it was only the guitar for a few moments, and Kitty found herself strangely reluctant to step through the wall. She wanted to hear the rest of the song- wanted to know how he really felt, before she walked into the room and he put up his wall to try and keep her out, the way she knew he would.
"You, sugar taste, sweetness doesn't often touch my face; stay, if you please, you may not be here when I leave..."
When he came in on the chorus line, Kitty hummed quietly along while he sang. "As of now I bet you got me wrong, so unsure we reach for something strong...." _Maybe we got each other wrong,_ Kitty thought, gathering up her courage and stepping through the wall. She emerged in the middle of his bed, standing there only inches away from him, and she quickly took a few more steps, clearing the bed and leaning against the wall near his window.
Lance's eyes widened, and his voice faltered as he missed the fingering. Nearly dropping his guitar as he set it down, his face almost looked hopeful as he stood up, but then the light in his eyes died, and his expression became closed and shuttered. Smacking his hand down on the CD player to shut it off, he commented caustically "What, back to call me names again? Or didja just miss slummin' it? Whatsa matter, you get sick of living in your big mansion up on the hill and decide to come see how the other half live? Well, you came, you saw, now get out."
Her face reddened, but Kitty stood her ground. "There is no more mansion on the hill- your boss blew it up and you know it!" She retorted, trying not to let her anger get the best of her. "Oh, so you want me to feel sorry for you now, is that it? Well, guess what. I don't!" He marched over to her and grabbed for her arm, intending to throw her out of his room bodily, but Kitty was having none of that. His hand passed harmlessly through her, and he muttered "dammit, I hate when you do that! Just get out of my room, Pryde- I don't want to hear anything you have to say. You already said plenty three weeks ago. I just don't care anymore." The floor rumbled ominously underfoot, but she remained intangible.
Kitty was stung by the way he used her last name- he'd never done that to her before. He only used people's last names when he really didn't like them. She'd expected him to be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to be this bad. _Then again, how naïve am I- did I just expect him to take me back and forget anything ever happened?_ Semi- disgusted with herself, she said to him "Oh, really? 'Cause if you don't care so much, then why are you so mad that I'm here?" Lance, taken aback, paused slightly at this, looking confused. She pressed her advantage. "Look, I didn't come here for a fight! We already had one of those, and it sucked," she said, raw honesty in her voice. "I was... wrong. We both were wrong- it's like that song you were just playing," she said helplessly. Lance stepped away from her, and she cautiously became tangible again, hoping he wasn't just waiting for her to drop her guard so he could toss her out. But he stepped further back, sitting down on his bed again, and she cautiously sat down on the edge, away from him.
They were both silent for a moment, and Kitty, looking at the floor, said in a small voice "I didn't mean it. It just came out, honest. I was just so.... mad. Duncan hates us- hates you, and you guys were fighting with him, trying to get us all kicked out! Why? I just didn't understand, and I still don't!" She sounded so lost, and Lance felt the ice crack just a little. _Damn, she still gets to me,_ he thought, almost angry with himself for being so weak around her. It had been so easy to feel self righteous and angry when they'd been avoiding each other, but now she was here, in his room, talking to him, and it was a lot harder to summon up the rage he'd originally felt after everything had gone down. He had missed her, missed everything about her, as much as he'd never wanted to admit it, but he'd reconciled himself to the fact that everything between them was over. Or, he though he had. But now that she was here, he wasn't so sure anymore.
When he didn't say anything, she sighed, drained. "Fine- I guess there was, like, no point to me coming here. I'm sorry for wasting your time," she said bitterly, rising from the bed, and Lance's hand shot out to grab her, to keep her from leaving. But instead of grabbing her arm like he usually did, he caught her hand, and she looked down, surprised. "Wait," he said, pulling her back down to sit closer to him. He didn't release her hand, not even noticing that he still held it as she sat back down. Kitty looked down at their hands, and let herself feel some hope that maybe this hadn't been a bad idea after all.
In the calmest, quietest voice Kitty had ever heard him use, Lance said "you know why I did it, pretty Kitty?" His use of her old nickname made her feel better, and she bit down on her lip to keep from smiling. "It wasn't about Matthews, or even the chance to beat up Summers." She frowned at that, but said nothing- nothing she said would ever change how he felt about her friend. "You know whose idea it was? Kelly's" he said with disgust. "He set the whole thing up, said he'd sign off, change our records so we could all have clean slates, could all get out. I should have known better- someone like that never keeps a promise to 'muties'." He shook his head, disgusted with himself for believing the man's lie. "But, as always, the whole thing went wrong. I didn't want to fight you, Kitty- I never do! But, when you're the bad guys, you don't really have a choice, I guess," he said sarcastically.
"That's bull, Lance," Kitty shot back. "You always have a choice. You're way better than all that, don't lie to yourself!"
"Way better than what, Kitty? Maybe you didn't mean what you said, but I did. I never was good enough for you."
Kitty had been calming down, but now her temper flared up again. "You're the only one of us who thought that, I never did! You thought you knew what kind of person I was just by looking at me, you judged me the first time you ever saw me in the halls back home! You never spoke a single word to me until I fell out of that locker on top of you- you didn't know me at all, but you sure thought you did!"
Lance had the grace to look slightly ashamed and a bit thoughtful, but Kitty was far from finished. "You want to know something? You always assumed that I got stuck in that locker because my powers went crazy. Well, guess what. I used to get shoved into my locker almost every day. The janitor had to come by every afternoon and let me out after Riley and her friends locked me in. And everyone always just watched and laughed and never did a damn thing about it. You looked at how I dressed and how I talked and the classes I took, and thought I must be one of those stuck up popular people. Boy, were you ever wrong. The popular people knew you could fight back." Her voice was bitter, and Lance said "Dammit Kitty, I never knew-"
"You never wanted to know! You wanted to see me in a certain way, and look where that got us! I saw you wrong too- I never though you weren't good enough for me, but maybe I just didn't look beyond who you hung out with and where you lived. But we're just... us."
She looked up at him, and the dim sunlight caught the tears in her sparkling blue eyes, turning them to glistening jewels. Oh yeah, she still got to him. She thawed him out, made him feel like more than just a loser foster care kid with holes in his clothes and nothing in his head. He wanted to be better, be a better man for her, but he'd never known how. He never knew how to do anything for her, except screw everything all up. She looked so small and fragile, and sometimes all he'd ever wanted to do was wrap her up and hide her somewhere until the world was a better place, until they didn't have to fight each other anymore. It was the reason he always took her on when the Brotherhood and X-Geeks fought- he'd pull his punches for her, not hurt her, and he knew none of the other guys would have any qualms about hurting her. But she was tough- a lot tougher than he'd ever given her credit for before. She'd been strong enough to stand up to him- and strong enough to be the first one to admit she'd been wrong. Things would never be easy for them- aside from their respective alliances, he knew he had an explosive temper. But he knew, too, that she'd stand up to him now.
He nodded at her, squeezing her hand in his own. "Yeah, I guess we are just us. Way more screwed up than most couples, huh?" Kitty laughed, a little bit hysterical with relief, and said "yeah, Springer's got nothing on us!" _He said couple. Are we back together? Did he actually forgive me? Is something finally going to turn out right?_
Almost before either of them quite realized what was happening, Kitty leaned forward to kiss him, pressing his shoulders down onto the bed until she was on top of him. She was so sweet and soft, smooth skin pressed against him, her hair tickling his face.... And the rational part of his brain, what little wasn't being fully engaged by the passion of her kiss, was giving him dire warnings if what her housemates would do to him if things went too far, as they all too easily could. He'd been around the block a few times, knew the way things went between people. _And she's sixteen and doesn't know what she's doing, but if she did she wouldn't be going there._ He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't ready to start going that far with him, and as much as he wanted to be with her, he wanted it to be right. Gently he nudged her off him, shifting her over to the side, and she gave him a clueless, quizzical look. "Uh, air," he said lamely, and she said 'oh," repositioning herself to curl up next to him and lean her head on his shoulder. They stayed in silence for a while, just being together, and then lapsed into small talk, anecdotes about their friends, and Kitty's complaints about the inanity of school. "So what are you going to do now, Lance? You can't be an evil minion forever, you know," she said lightly, trying to crack a joke. They'd sat up a little on the bed, leaning against the wall, and she was leaning against him, head still on his shoulder. He pulled her closer as she asked her question, arms around her, and he looked down at her, a brittle smile on his face. "I dunno. I'm getting more hours at the garage now, but there's got to be more, you know? Sometimes I'm not sure why I didn't just leave, after we got kicked out of school. There's got to be more to life than fighting these battles and Magneto trying to take over the world- it's like that cartoon, with the two mice and one of them is always trying to take over the world, every night- it just gets so old sometimes."
"Oh yeah, 'Pinky and the Brain.' Why did you stay?" Curiosity hinged in her voice, and a fair bit of hope. As silly as it was, as unfair as it was, she wanted to be a reason.
"Lots of reasons, I guess. They guys and Wanda- she kinda creeps me, but she's got her good moments. Even Tabs calms down sometimes. But I kinda feel responsible for them. Who else is going to care? I mean, whenever we're not immediately useful, Mags and Mystique just ditch us. But we don't go away- we're still here, living, and someone's got to keep it that way." Seeing the look on her face, he finally admitted "Yeah, and it's you, too. I figured we were done and over; I thought you'd never give me another chance. But I couldn't just leave without knowing."
"You could come back to school, you know- the Professor would help you out, help you get back in..."
But he shook his head. "Cue ball doesn't tell you guys anything, huh? He was fighting for us, but there isn't anything else he could do. We didn't get expelled, Kitty- school board said he can't expel mutants just for being mutants. Kelly found a loophole- all of us except Toad and Tabs are eighteen, legal adults. He put out restraining orders on all of us- we can't come within 500 feet of school property. Toad just stopped going 'cause he was scared to be the only one there, and Tabby ditches most of the time anyways."
"But how are you ever going to graduate?"
"My boss is letting me use his computer at work to do this GED thing online. I'm smarter than I look- I actually passed a few classes, I think I can handle it. See, you won't be dating an evil, high school drop out minion forever." He teased her, and she laughed. Looking across the room at the clock, she gasped in horror- it read 6:45.
"Omigod- Scott's supposed to pick me up from the library in fifteen minutes, and he's neurotically on time! We've so got to go now, or I'll be grounded for forever!" Hardly giving him time to grab the keys to his jeep, she grabbed his hand and phased him through the floor, and then dragged him through the door, ignoring the faces of his housemates who were gathered around the television, wondering how Kitty had ever gotten into the house in the first place. "Lemme drive!" She demanded, and he said "No way! You don't even have a license!" Hands on her hips, she retorted "I drive way faster than you, just give me the keys! And I have my permit, its okay, you're eighteen, but the cops can't catch me anyways!" She took the keys from him, and he had no choice but to hop in the passenger seat, knowing he was going to regret this.
By the time they arrived at the library, several stop signs were embedded in the back of his vehicle, and Lance was gripping the dashboard with white, bloodless knuckles. The clock read 6:57. Lance snatched his keys back from her, muttering "you are never driving my car again!" She had spoken true- she did drive way faster than him. Through other cars. And stop signs. And anything else she felt like driving through.
Sighing, she phased the stop signs out of his trunk. "Quit being such a baby- I didn't scratch your paint, like Tabby does," she pointed out, and all Lance could do was groan. "Go on, or else Summers is gonna try to pound me," he said, catching sight of the red convertible speeding along the street towards them. Cradling her face, he kissed her quickly. "I'll call you, all right? Just don't get grounded for forever." She laughed, racing over to slide through the door of the convertible, as Lance's adversary pulled up to the curb. The sound of her laughter stayed with him, and he even let Summers get away with the dirty look, forbearing to make the road buckle in front of him only because Kitty was in the car too.
He got into his jeep, readjusting the seat, and turned the radio on, cruising home. The song he'd been playing earlier came on the air, and he smiled. _Yeah, maybe something is gonna turn out right._