Hi all!! I know, I'm not done with A New Flame yet, but I just had to
write this one. It's just one of those things that come to you at 2am
while you're watching X2 and eating Goldfish. So, anyway, I was sitting on
my bed, remote and Goldfish at hand and this little Pyro shoulder devil
popped up and said, "Why not do a completely pointless story?"
I looked at him and said, "I have no completely pointless stories."
Pyro shoulder devil: "Yes you do! Remember those stories you 'n your mates wrote about four yea's ago? Change the characters and BAM, pointless X-Man story."
Me: "Well, you do have a point there."
Suddenly a Professor X. shoulder angel popped up and said, "You can't do that, Rhodsey. You haven't finished A New Flame yet. You're readers will be disappointed that you have put off updating to do something pointless and- mmmpfh"
Suddenly shoulder devil Pyro stuffed shoulder angel Xavier in a sack and threw him out my bedroom window.
Pyro shoulder devil: "There. Solves that problem. Now start diggin' for that story!"
And here it is:
NIGHTMARE IN BAYVILLE
It was Halloween and the Brotherhood was having a party. Lance, Gambit, Wanda, Toad, Pietro, and Pyro were already at the house.
"When are they going to get here? The eyes are beginning to turn to raisins," Wanda complained, coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of grapes that looked remarkably like eyes.
"Don't worry, Schnookie-boo," Toad said bouncing up to her. "If they don't show, then we get all the Halloween magic to ourselves."
Wanda powered up and Toad made a run for the living room, not even bothering with hopping.
"Your fangs're kinda tilted, mate," Pyro said to Gambit, who adjusted his teeth.
Gambit was a vampire, Lance was a werewolf, Wanda was a devil, Toad was a mummy, Pyro was a mad scientist, and Pietro dressed up as his dad, complete with cape and bucket. The 'others' they were waiting for were a few select members of the X-Men. Kitty, Rogue, and Bobby to be specific. Kitty and Rogue for obvious reasons, and Bobby because that boy knew a good Halloween prank or twelve and offered to bring the TP and eggs.
"Man! The Jell-O blood won't stick to the wall anymore, yo!" Toad whined.
The doorbell rang and Pietro sped to answer it. It was Kitty. "Lance," he yelled, "it's for you!" He sped back to the table and sat down.
Lance walked to the door. "You look nice," he said. Kitty was dressed as a zombie.
"Nice?" Kitty questioned. "I, like, look like the living dead."
"Better than what we can say for you," Scott said walking up the driveway with Jean, Rogue, and Bobby.
"Summers," Lance growled, "what're you doing here?"
"The Professor sent Jean and I to make sure you don't get in any trouble," he replied. "By the way, nice mask, Alvers."
"It's not a mask," Lance said through clenched teeth.
"Well, since everybody's here, why don' we get dis party started, no?" Gambit asked as he sidled up to Rogue. "C'mon, cherie, you can help Gambit carry out da cauldron."
Jean and Scott were in their X-Men outfits, Rogue was more Goth than usual, and Bobby was a cowboy... chaps and all.
Bobby walked into the kitchen where Pyro was flicking his lighter on and off and staring at the bowl of eyeballs.
"So, what's up?" Bobby asked.
"Hey! You're one o' those cow blokes!"
"Cowboy," Bobby said. "I'm a cowboy."
"Yeah! Oooh! I've 'eard o' those cow blokes! OOOOKlahoma where the wind comes- Eeg!"
Wanda hexed him from across the room. "I hate that musical."
Everyone entered the kitchen as Gambit and Rogue placed the cauldron next to the bowl of eyes.
Suddenly the lights went out and Toad screamed his signature schoolgirl scream.
"What? What?" several people yelled.
"TOAD!" Wanda screeched.
The lights came back on and Wanda hexed Toad for clinging to her in terror.
"Look!" Kitty yelled, pointing to a red message scrawled on the wall.
"That's just Jell-O," Lance said.
"But it says 'Get out or DIE'," Scott cried.
"Drama Queen," Jean muttered beneath her breath.
Rogue walked over to the wall and wiped her finger through the 'D'. "All rahght. Which one of you guys did this?" she asked rubbing her fingers together. "Wait a second? Isn't Jell-O s'posed ta be cold?"
"It was before the lights went out," Lance said. "Why?"
"This isn't Jell-O," Rogue said, feeling sick.
"Let Gambit see," he said and wiped off some of the message. "She's right... dis is blood!"
"Blood? How?" Wanda asked.
"How would we know?" Pietro asked. "The lights were out."
Toad bounced up to the wall to get a closer look at the message. "Maybe we should heed the warning, and, uh, you know, get out," he whimpered.
"Yeah, Toad," Pietro said, "and maybe you should grow a pair."
"That was mean, Pietro," Kitty said.
"Actually," Bobby snickered, "it was pretty funny."
"Boy," Pyro said to Gambit, "poor froggy can't seem ta get a break, can'e?"
"Enough about Toad," Lance said. "We need to figure out who wants us out of our house and just how they got inside in the first place."
"Is your house, like, haunted?" Kitty asked.
"Just because it's Halloween, there has to be a ghost?" Jean asked, in her 'I'm-too-mature-to-believe-in-ghosts' attitude.
"Jean's right," Scott said, "we need to be mature and look for a logical explanation before we-"
"GEEETTTT OUUUUTTTTT!!!" a ghostly voice moaned.
"All rightie then," Pyro said, "anybody got the number for Ghostbusters?"
"No," Pietro said, "but some suggestions to the solution of this problem might be helpful."
Toad raised his hand. "I got one: how 'bout we get out? If that won't work, I'm goin' outside and cowerin' behind the subwoofer in Lance's Jeep... and I suggest you all find ingenious places to tremble behind as well."
The lights flickered.
"What makes us so sure it's a ghost?" Bobby asked. "What about vampires, witches, werewolves, homicidal maniacs, escaped mental patients, and serial killers?"
"Because there's, like, no proof of anything besides a ghost," Kitty said.
"I'm gonna go use the bathroom," Scott said. "If anything else even the slightest bit creepy happens, I may need a new uniform."
"Wait," Kitty said, "we should, like, go everywhere in twos or threes. That way, if it isn't a ghost and this is, like, lost footage from Scream, we should be okay."
"How're we s'posed ta group up?" Gambit asked.
"Yeah," Rogue said, "there are eleven of us."
"I know," Pietro said. "Gambit and Rogue be a group of two; Bobby, Pyro, and Cyclops can start off the groups of three; then Wanda, Jean, and Toad; and Kitty, Lance, and me."
"Hey," Scott said, forgetting about the bathroom, "you just split up me and Jean."
"Calm down, four eyes," Pietro said, "I did it with good reason."
Scott's eyes began to glow. "Oh, yeah, Speedy? And what would that be?"
"Protection purposes," Pietro responded. "Lance and I will protect Kitty, Gambit will protect Rogue, and Wanda and Jean will protect Toad."
"Oh, okay, in that case..." everyone muttered in understanding.
"Uh, guys..." Scott said with his legs crossed.
"Oh, sorry!" Bobby said. "Come on, Pyro. Scott must pee. Everyone else... split up and look for clues or.... something..."
Bobby, Pyro, and Scott went upstairs while everyone else looked around downstairs for how the creepy blood writer got in.
The power went out again.
"You know," Wanda said, "I'm getting sick of all this power outage stuff."
The power popped back on after about five minutes and the TV suddenly sprung to life. The newscaster began talking.
"And in local news, there has been a series of violent murders in the Bayville area. The police have no suspects or any major leads in this case as of yet. They just have the warning to stay inside and lock your doors."
The TV popped off.
"Good thing Scott didn't see that," Wanda said.
"Bad thing Toad did," Jean said, and pointed to Toad who was huddled up on the couch and rocking in terror. Gambit and Rogue came out of the dining room, and the other three came out of the kitchen.
"Did you hear all that?" Jean asked.
"Yeah," they murmured.
"What about Scott, Bobby, and Pyro?" Kitty questioned.
"Let's find out," Lance said and yelled up the stairs.
"A what?" Pyro said as he a Bobby stood at the top of the stairs.
"A murderer in the area," Lance repeated.
"See?" Bobby said, elbowing Pyro. "What did I tell you? It's either a homicidal maniac or a serial killer."
"Shut up!" Toad yelled.
"Where's Scott?" Jean asked.
"Still in the dunny," Pyro said. "I'll go get 'im." He knocked on the bathroom door. "Cyclops?" He knocked again. "Cyclops?" He turned the handle, opened the door and screamed. Pietro, Lance and Wanda ran up the stairs.
"What?" Pietro yelled, reaching him first.
"He's dead!!" Pyro screamed, gripping onto Pietro as Wanda, Lance, and Bobby reached them.
Pietro and Pyro came down the stairs.
"I want to see him!" Jean yelled as Kitty and Rogue held her back.
"What happened, mon ami?" Gambit asked.
"Well, the lil' ice bloke 'n I were sittin' outside the door. We did'n 'ear anything unusual and the power went off. We still did'n 'ear anything and then you blokes yelled up to us once the power came back on," Pyro rambled, mixed with shock and excitement.
"What happened to Cyke, mon ami?" Gambit specified.
"He- he- he was garroted by the poofy bath thingie!!!" Pyro wailed and cried dramatically into Kitty.
She phased through him as Bobby, Wanda, and Lance walked solemnly down the stairs.
"Nobody," Bobby said, "should have to see that."
Jean, tears in her eyes, said next to Toad on the couch.
"S'all right, Jeanie," Gambit said, smirking, "da Toad's still available."
Jean looked at Gambit, then Toad, then back to Gambit and started wailing.
"Ya know, Swamp Rat," Rogue said sarcastically, "the greetin' card industry would really love ya."
"Question," Toad said, "would now be the appropriate time to get out?"
"No," Kitty said, "we need to call the police."
"But there is a dead man in the bathroom!" Toad yelled.
"Uh, Lance," Bobby asked, "how big is your trunk? I think I'm gonna cower behind that subwoofer with Toad."
"I'm calling the police," Kitty said, "Lance come with me." She and Lance walked to the phone. She picked it up and went pale.
"Kitty, what's wrong?"
"The phone's, like, dead..."
They went back to the living room and told the others. Despite pleas from Toad, everyone decided to leave the house.
"The cops said to stay inside and lock our doors," Toad whined.
"Not five minutes ago, you wanted to get out," Rogue said.
"Yeah, but that was before I realized how dangerous outside really is."
"But the murderer already got inside," Bobby pointed out.
"Yeah," Wanda agreed, "we're just as safe out here as we were in there."
"Well, where do we go now?" Jean asked, still teary.
"Across the backyard and through the woods," Pietro said. "There used to be an old mansion back there."
"I thought the Institute was, like, the only mansion in Bayville," Kitty said.
"No," Pietro said, "this one's from Victorian times... well, if it's still standing."
"Sure, the killer'll never think to look there," Rogue muttered sarcastically.
"Well, let's go then," Pyro said and bounded into the woods.
"We should just let him die," Wanda muttered as everyone ran off after him.
I looked at him and said, "I have no completely pointless stories."
Pyro shoulder devil: "Yes you do! Remember those stories you 'n your mates wrote about four yea's ago? Change the characters and BAM, pointless X-Man story."
Me: "Well, you do have a point there."
Suddenly a Professor X. shoulder angel popped up and said, "You can't do that, Rhodsey. You haven't finished A New Flame yet. You're readers will be disappointed that you have put off updating to do something pointless and- mmmpfh"
Suddenly shoulder devil Pyro stuffed shoulder angel Xavier in a sack and threw him out my bedroom window.
Pyro shoulder devil: "There. Solves that problem. Now start diggin' for that story!"
And here it is:
NIGHTMARE IN BAYVILLE
It was Halloween and the Brotherhood was having a party. Lance, Gambit, Wanda, Toad, Pietro, and Pyro were already at the house.
"When are they going to get here? The eyes are beginning to turn to raisins," Wanda complained, coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of grapes that looked remarkably like eyes.
"Don't worry, Schnookie-boo," Toad said bouncing up to her. "If they don't show, then we get all the Halloween magic to ourselves."
Wanda powered up and Toad made a run for the living room, not even bothering with hopping.
"Your fangs're kinda tilted, mate," Pyro said to Gambit, who adjusted his teeth.
Gambit was a vampire, Lance was a werewolf, Wanda was a devil, Toad was a mummy, Pyro was a mad scientist, and Pietro dressed up as his dad, complete with cape and bucket. The 'others' they were waiting for were a few select members of the X-Men. Kitty, Rogue, and Bobby to be specific. Kitty and Rogue for obvious reasons, and Bobby because that boy knew a good Halloween prank or twelve and offered to bring the TP and eggs.
"Man! The Jell-O blood won't stick to the wall anymore, yo!" Toad whined.
The doorbell rang and Pietro sped to answer it. It was Kitty. "Lance," he yelled, "it's for you!" He sped back to the table and sat down.
Lance walked to the door. "You look nice," he said. Kitty was dressed as a zombie.
"Nice?" Kitty questioned. "I, like, look like the living dead."
"Better than what we can say for you," Scott said walking up the driveway with Jean, Rogue, and Bobby.
"Summers," Lance growled, "what're you doing here?"
"The Professor sent Jean and I to make sure you don't get in any trouble," he replied. "By the way, nice mask, Alvers."
"It's not a mask," Lance said through clenched teeth.
"Well, since everybody's here, why don' we get dis party started, no?" Gambit asked as he sidled up to Rogue. "C'mon, cherie, you can help Gambit carry out da cauldron."
Jean and Scott were in their X-Men outfits, Rogue was more Goth than usual, and Bobby was a cowboy... chaps and all.
Bobby walked into the kitchen where Pyro was flicking his lighter on and off and staring at the bowl of eyeballs.
"So, what's up?" Bobby asked.
"Hey! You're one o' those cow blokes!"
"Cowboy," Bobby said. "I'm a cowboy."
"Yeah! Oooh! I've 'eard o' those cow blokes! OOOOKlahoma where the wind comes- Eeg!"
Wanda hexed him from across the room. "I hate that musical."
Everyone entered the kitchen as Gambit and Rogue placed the cauldron next to the bowl of eyes.
Suddenly the lights went out and Toad screamed his signature schoolgirl scream.
"What? What?" several people yelled.
"TOAD!" Wanda screeched.
The lights came back on and Wanda hexed Toad for clinging to her in terror.
"Look!" Kitty yelled, pointing to a red message scrawled on the wall.
"That's just Jell-O," Lance said.
"But it says 'Get out or DIE'," Scott cried.
"Drama Queen," Jean muttered beneath her breath.
Rogue walked over to the wall and wiped her finger through the 'D'. "All rahght. Which one of you guys did this?" she asked rubbing her fingers together. "Wait a second? Isn't Jell-O s'posed ta be cold?"
"It was before the lights went out," Lance said. "Why?"
"This isn't Jell-O," Rogue said, feeling sick.
"Let Gambit see," he said and wiped off some of the message. "She's right... dis is blood!"
"Blood? How?" Wanda asked.
"How would we know?" Pietro asked. "The lights were out."
Toad bounced up to the wall to get a closer look at the message. "Maybe we should heed the warning, and, uh, you know, get out," he whimpered.
"Yeah, Toad," Pietro said, "and maybe you should grow a pair."
"That was mean, Pietro," Kitty said.
"Actually," Bobby snickered, "it was pretty funny."
"Boy," Pyro said to Gambit, "poor froggy can't seem ta get a break, can'e?"
"Enough about Toad," Lance said. "We need to figure out who wants us out of our house and just how they got inside in the first place."
"Is your house, like, haunted?" Kitty asked.
"Just because it's Halloween, there has to be a ghost?" Jean asked, in her 'I'm-too-mature-to-believe-in-ghosts' attitude.
"Jean's right," Scott said, "we need to be mature and look for a logical explanation before we-"
"GEEETTTT OUUUUTTTTT!!!" a ghostly voice moaned.
"All rightie then," Pyro said, "anybody got the number for Ghostbusters?"
"No," Pietro said, "but some suggestions to the solution of this problem might be helpful."
Toad raised his hand. "I got one: how 'bout we get out? If that won't work, I'm goin' outside and cowerin' behind the subwoofer in Lance's Jeep... and I suggest you all find ingenious places to tremble behind as well."
The lights flickered.
"What makes us so sure it's a ghost?" Bobby asked. "What about vampires, witches, werewolves, homicidal maniacs, escaped mental patients, and serial killers?"
"Because there's, like, no proof of anything besides a ghost," Kitty said.
"I'm gonna go use the bathroom," Scott said. "If anything else even the slightest bit creepy happens, I may need a new uniform."
"Wait," Kitty said, "we should, like, go everywhere in twos or threes. That way, if it isn't a ghost and this is, like, lost footage from Scream, we should be okay."
"How're we s'posed ta group up?" Gambit asked.
"Yeah," Rogue said, "there are eleven of us."
"I know," Pietro said. "Gambit and Rogue be a group of two; Bobby, Pyro, and Cyclops can start off the groups of three; then Wanda, Jean, and Toad; and Kitty, Lance, and me."
"Hey," Scott said, forgetting about the bathroom, "you just split up me and Jean."
"Calm down, four eyes," Pietro said, "I did it with good reason."
Scott's eyes began to glow. "Oh, yeah, Speedy? And what would that be?"
"Protection purposes," Pietro responded. "Lance and I will protect Kitty, Gambit will protect Rogue, and Wanda and Jean will protect Toad."
"Oh, okay, in that case..." everyone muttered in understanding.
"Uh, guys..." Scott said with his legs crossed.
"Oh, sorry!" Bobby said. "Come on, Pyro. Scott must pee. Everyone else... split up and look for clues or.... something..."
Bobby, Pyro, and Scott went upstairs while everyone else looked around downstairs for how the creepy blood writer got in.
The power went out again.
"You know," Wanda said, "I'm getting sick of all this power outage stuff."
The power popped back on after about five minutes and the TV suddenly sprung to life. The newscaster began talking.
"And in local news, there has been a series of violent murders in the Bayville area. The police have no suspects or any major leads in this case as of yet. They just have the warning to stay inside and lock your doors."
The TV popped off.
"Good thing Scott didn't see that," Wanda said.
"Bad thing Toad did," Jean said, and pointed to Toad who was huddled up on the couch and rocking in terror. Gambit and Rogue came out of the dining room, and the other three came out of the kitchen.
"Did you hear all that?" Jean asked.
"Yeah," they murmured.
"What about Scott, Bobby, and Pyro?" Kitty questioned.
"Let's find out," Lance said and yelled up the stairs.
"A what?" Pyro said as he a Bobby stood at the top of the stairs.
"A murderer in the area," Lance repeated.
"See?" Bobby said, elbowing Pyro. "What did I tell you? It's either a homicidal maniac or a serial killer."
"Shut up!" Toad yelled.
"Where's Scott?" Jean asked.
"Still in the dunny," Pyro said. "I'll go get 'im." He knocked on the bathroom door. "Cyclops?" He knocked again. "Cyclops?" He turned the handle, opened the door and screamed. Pietro, Lance and Wanda ran up the stairs.
"What?" Pietro yelled, reaching him first.
"He's dead!!" Pyro screamed, gripping onto Pietro as Wanda, Lance, and Bobby reached them.
Pietro and Pyro came down the stairs.
"I want to see him!" Jean yelled as Kitty and Rogue held her back.
"What happened, mon ami?" Gambit asked.
"Well, the lil' ice bloke 'n I were sittin' outside the door. We did'n 'ear anything unusual and the power went off. We still did'n 'ear anything and then you blokes yelled up to us once the power came back on," Pyro rambled, mixed with shock and excitement.
"What happened to Cyke, mon ami?" Gambit specified.
"He- he- he was garroted by the poofy bath thingie!!!" Pyro wailed and cried dramatically into Kitty.
She phased through him as Bobby, Wanda, and Lance walked solemnly down the stairs.
"Nobody," Bobby said, "should have to see that."
Jean, tears in her eyes, said next to Toad on the couch.
"S'all right, Jeanie," Gambit said, smirking, "da Toad's still available."
Jean looked at Gambit, then Toad, then back to Gambit and started wailing.
"Ya know, Swamp Rat," Rogue said sarcastically, "the greetin' card industry would really love ya."
"Question," Toad said, "would now be the appropriate time to get out?"
"No," Kitty said, "we need to call the police."
"But there is a dead man in the bathroom!" Toad yelled.
"Uh, Lance," Bobby asked, "how big is your trunk? I think I'm gonna cower behind that subwoofer with Toad."
"I'm calling the police," Kitty said, "Lance come with me." She and Lance walked to the phone. She picked it up and went pale.
"Kitty, what's wrong?"
"The phone's, like, dead..."
They went back to the living room and told the others. Despite pleas from Toad, everyone decided to leave the house.
"The cops said to stay inside and lock our doors," Toad whined.
"Not five minutes ago, you wanted to get out," Rogue said.
"Yeah, but that was before I realized how dangerous outside really is."
"But the murderer already got inside," Bobby pointed out.
"Yeah," Wanda agreed, "we're just as safe out here as we were in there."
"Well, where do we go now?" Jean asked, still teary.
"Across the backyard and through the woods," Pietro said. "There used to be an old mansion back there."
"I thought the Institute was, like, the only mansion in Bayville," Kitty said.
"No," Pietro said, "this one's from Victorian times... well, if it's still standing."
"Sure, the killer'll never think to look there," Rogue muttered sarcastically.
"Well, let's go then," Pyro said and bounded into the woods.
"We should just let him die," Wanda muttered as everyone ran off after him.