Assilem's Rant! I know this isn't as long as the others, but then again I'm
not really caring, because I assure you that the next chapter is longer.
This one also has bad language, oh what I consider bad..I don't know bout
you folks. Anyhoo, read and review!
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After the kids came back from Maine, life resumed as usual. Sabrina was getting better, her joints still hurt, but they were slowly getting better. She was on leave from ballet and tap until she could move properly. Margaret had never seen her little girl so depressed. Dance was her life, and two weeks without it destroyed her. Those two weeks felt like an eternity. And it wasn't just Sabrina that was feeling the time go by slowly. Margaret felt it. She was getting up early in the morning and throwing up. She was getting nauseous from the smell of food and coffee. She was more tired and irritable than usual. It was starting to worry her. Thoughts of having her lover's baby were coming more often. It was one afternoon with Vincent that made Margaret want them even more.
Vincent's class was having a bake sale and he asked Margaret to help him make some cookies or pie. He couldn't decide, so they decided to make both. Hawkeye had offered to take the rest of the kids out so they could bake. Sabrina had tap so he had to drop her off before taking the kids to the park. It was her first day back at tap so he got Brittany to take care of the kids. He couldn't say no to the little girl.
Meanwhile back at Margaret's, Vincent was putting on his apron that Betsy gave him while Margaret put hers on.
"Margaret?"
"Yes honey?"
"Like my apron? Grammie gave it to me."
"I love it." She smiled looking at the little boy. Vincent smiled brightly. Any comment that came from Margaret he held high on a pedestal. "You ready to bake?"
"Yup. Going to make cookies first. Cause you don't have to stoves like Daddy."
"That's true, what kind of cookies are we going to make?"
"Vincent Cookies." He smiled brightly.
"What do we need for Vincent Cookies?"
"We need to melt the chocolate. Can you help, I'm not supposed to play with the stove." Margaret smiled at the little boy. He always followed the rules and when he didn't, he knew the punishment. His father always told him no baking for a week if he broke a rule and learned very early not to break them.
"Of course. You want to sift the flour?"
"Yup." He smiled and moved his chair to the counter. "I'll tell you want to put in."
"Okay." Margaret smiled.
"You need to melt the butter. Grammie said that goes first. Don't burn though. Then cut up the chocolate. I'm not allowed to play with knifes."
"Okay. How do I cut the chocolate?"
"You need to use the special knife." Vincent told her as he measured the flour. He knew how many scoops of each thing to put in. That's how he cooked. "It looks like a fork." He smiled pointing to the chocolate knife. Margaret smiled and picked it up. "Now you cut it by banging it up and down. Like this." He took his empty sifter and started to shake it in an up and down motion. Margaret already knew how to break chocolate, but she wasn't going to tell Vincent. He looked so cute. He had already managed to get flour on his face, and Margaret found it amusing.
"You gotta put the vanilla in. One big spoon." He smiled handing Margaret the vanilla and a measuring spoon.
"Now what?" She asked already put the vanilla in.
"You need to melt the chocolate. Little bits at a time." Vincent instructed. "And I gotta stir. Cause I need you to mix the flour with the other stuff. I'm not strong enough yet." Vincent smiled. Margaret smiled back and handed the little boy a wooden spoon.
"Kay, add the chocolate chips with the flour and white stuff." She nodded as Vincent watched her carefully put the chocolate chips in. He was stirring the now melted chocolate to put in the cookies. "Good." He praised.
"Thank you." She smiled stirring the batter. Vincent got down off the chair and grabbed the cookie sheet. He brought it over to the counter.
"Now you gotta spread it out, like a big square cookie." Margaret smiled and started to spread out the dough. Once it was all spread out evenly she looked at Vincent.
"Now what?"
"Could you put that in the oven? Daddy said I'm not allowed to cause I'm to little."
"Of course." Margaret smiled and put the cookie sheet in the oven. "Now what do we do with the chocolate?"
"It needs to go in the fridge. Cause it needs to go over the cookie." He smiled. Margaret took the pot and placed it in the fridge.
"Now what?"
"Um.We can start pealing the apples." He said handing Margaret an apple. Margaret smiled and started to cut the apple up. After she finished one, Vincent would hand her another. And it went on like that. Vincent was a chatterbox like his father. Margaret enjoyed listening to him; he had so much more to tell than Hawkeye did. He told her about school, his friends, and the school's cook who took him on a tour. Margaret enjoyed his little tales, and he enjoyed telling her them.
Margaret listened to the little boy and imagined if she and Hawkeye's child would be like Vincent. Vincent was a short chubby little boy. With raven black hair like his father, he was a spitting image of Hawkeye. Including the sparkling blue eyes that always danced with excitement, amusement or mystery. Unlike his father he wasn't very mischievous, but laid back. His father said he got that from his mother.
After all the apples were pealed and cut, Vincent sat in front of the oven and watched the cookies bake, he said he would watch so they wouldn't burn. He was never the one to eat his own creation, even though his brothers and sisters were.
Margaret took the large cookie out of the oven and placed it on a cooling rack as they did the dishes. One little boy could make so many dishes making cookies, but was a joy to be around. It reminded Margaret of having a baby again. They were the biggest joy to have around, but they were very messy.
Once they finished with the dishes, Vincent got the chocolate out of the fridge and handed it to Margaret. She smiled and with his careful instructions poured the cooled chocolate over the cookie. He watched her as a smile spread over his face. Margaret noticed that smile and smiled herself.
"Can I put the apples on?"
"Go ahead." Margaret encouraged handing him the lemon-covered apples.
"Did you know that the lemon juice keeps the apples from going brown?"
"No I didn't. But I do now," Margaret smiled placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I like baking with you. Daddy tries but burns things."
"I'm a Mommy, I know not to burn the chocolate." Vincent smiled at Margaret. It was true she was a Mommy. The closest thing he had to one. And he loved it. She was smile at him all the time, which made him feel like he was important. She would do all the things a mommy would do. In more ways than one, she was his 'mommy'.
After the cookie pie was done, Margaret put it in the freezer. Hawkeye would be there soon and she wanted to get a head start on dinner. Vincent of course was going to help. He asked if he could, and who could say no to a four-year-old who wanted to cook? Certainly not Margaret. She couldn't wait for the day when her son would run up to her and ask what's for dinner. She knew he would, because Hawkeye did it all the time. Even though he would attack her from around the waist and start nibbling at her neck. It not that she didn't enjoy it, because she did. It was the thought of having a child made the future feel closer than it was.
They had dinner and Margaret noticed at they felt like a family. Finn would kick Sabrina under the table and Dorby would shoot peas out of his nose at her. They made Sabrina feel like she was part of the family. And not matter what happened, she would always have a big kid shooting peas out of his nose. Everyone loved being together as a family, even though they weren't a family per say.
When Hawkeye took the kids home that night, he saw something in Vincent that he'd never seen before. He sent all the kids to get their teeth brushed while he put Rory to bed. She looked at him and smiled.
"Ahhhhhhhhh! Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!" She smiled brightly.
"Why are you going to cry?"
"No cry. Me cute." She smiled brightly and let her brown eyes slowly disappear.
"I love you doll." He smiled walking out of her room seeing Vincent brushing his teeth. "Hey buddy, did you have fun today?"
"Yeah, I had fun cooking with Mommy."
"Mommy?" Hawkeye asked in confusion. Vincent looked at his father and smiled with toothpaste all over his toothless grin.
"I mean Margaret." His father smiled and patted him on his head before heading into the girl's room.
"Hi dolls." He smiled seeing that they already were in bed.
"Hi daddy." Katelyn smiled pulling her blanket up to her chin. He smiled and walked over to her bed.
"Did you have fun with Brittany?"
"Yeah, she's tons of fun." Katelyn smiled maneuvering herself into her father's arms. She laid her head on his lap. It was Katelyn routine, she would tell him all about her day while he rubbed her back, Baylee would usually read, but sometimes she would join in with the talking. He loved that time with his girls; they had so much to say. After his time with the girls, he put them to bed and went to put the boys to bed. Dorby and Finn shared a room, and Vincent as the youngest boy had his own. When he walked in to see Dorby and Finn. Finn as usual was already asleep and Dorby was still doing his routine of banging his pillow one hundred times. He smiled and said goodnight before going to check on Vincent.
"Hey buddy, why aren't you asleep?"
"I had a lot of fun with Margaret. She's a good cook. We made Vincent cookies and next time she said we could make something else."
"You really like cooking with her don't you?"
"She's really fun." Vincent said with a yawn.
"I know." Hawkeye smiled as he watched his son's eyes disappear under his eyelids. Hawkeye kissed him on the head and walked out of his room. He walked downstairs with a smile on his face. When he got into the kitchen, he picked up the phone and called Margaret. Who was pretty busy throwing up.
When the phone rang Margaret just walked out of the bathroom, after throwing up all the food she consumed that day.
"Hello?"
"Hey baby, guess what?"
"What?"
"Vincent while brushing his teeth called you mommy." Hawkeye smiled as he threw some meat on his sandwich.
"That's so sweet." Margaret smiled as she placed a hand on her lower abdomen. "What are you doing?"
"Making a snack. Ham, pineapple, turkey, roast," He started. Margaret started to feel like throwing up again. "Tomatoes."
"Excuse me." She said before dropping the phone and running into the bathroom. Hawkeye was still on the line and waited until she got back from throwing up. "I'm sorry, I had to throw up."
"Why, you sick?"
"No."
"Side affects from any medication?" He asked as Margaret heard the mustard he was putting on his sandwich.
"No."
"So then, what's the matter?"
"I think I'm pregnant." Margaret said in frustration. "And it's all your fault!"
"Pregnant! What! My fault?"
"Yes you Bastard!"
"How can it be just my fault? As I recall you have to be there too!" Hawkeye retorted getting a tad bit angry that she was laying all this on his shoulders.
"I know. I'm sorry." Margaret said breaking down. She had been so emotional lately, and didn't like it. He heard her start crying on the other end and felt terrible.
"Listen, stay where you are. I'll be there in twenty okay?" Margaret nodded her head. "Margaret say something."
"Okay." She said through tears. Hawkeye quickly hung up the phone, called Brittany. He waited until she arrived before he rushed to her house. Margaret was sitting on the front porch.
"Hey." He said before giving her a hug. "How you doing?"
"I feel terrible." She said leaning into him.
"What makes you sure that you're pregnant?"
"A lot of things really."
"If you cant tell the person you love, then who can you tell?"
"Well, first of all morning sickness that lasts all day." She started feeling more comfortable. "I'm getting nauseous from certain smells. I've been more irritable, and I've been thinking of a baby for a while now."
"Why were you thinking of a baby?"
"I don't know. Seeing Rory's smile, and Vincent's personality, and Baylee's eyes, and Dorby's behavior, and Finn's mystery about him, and Katelyn, Katelyn's love for everything. And how you are with them, and how you treat Sabrina with the same kind of love you treat your kids."
"I love her."
"I know you do. And I love you kids."
"Well go get tested." He smiled rubbing her arm. He watched her head drop. "Do you want this baby?"
"I.I don't know." Margaret said softly.
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I just don't know!" Margaret said pulling away. "I don't know if I want this baby!"
"You don't even know yet! And how could you not want our baby.unless it isn't ours."
"What the fuck do you mean?"
"You been screwing around!"
"Oh fuck you!"
"Yeah you did fuck me! But you fucked some else didn't you!"
"How dare you!"
"Oh how dare me! I'm not the bitch that screws around you know!"
"You sorry bastard! I should have known better then get involved with you!"
"What did you think I was getting myself into! Getting together with someone who screwed on every man she had!"
"Fuck you!"
"You did! While you were still married to Donald!"
"You son of a bitch! Go!"
"Fine! But let me make one thing clear, if is my child, I want to know."
"Fine, now leave!" She yelled. Hawkeye shook his head and walked off. How could she be so unreasonable? Margaret took a deep breath and walked into the house. Sabrina was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a strange look on her face.
"Mama, are you mad?"
"No not at you." Margaret said to her child, that was close to tears. Sabrina ran into her mother's arms and started to cry. Margaret held her little girl and let the thoughts of the baby come to mind.
you folks. Anyhoo, read and review!
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After the kids came back from Maine, life resumed as usual. Sabrina was getting better, her joints still hurt, but they were slowly getting better. She was on leave from ballet and tap until she could move properly. Margaret had never seen her little girl so depressed. Dance was her life, and two weeks without it destroyed her. Those two weeks felt like an eternity. And it wasn't just Sabrina that was feeling the time go by slowly. Margaret felt it. She was getting up early in the morning and throwing up. She was getting nauseous from the smell of food and coffee. She was more tired and irritable than usual. It was starting to worry her. Thoughts of having her lover's baby were coming more often. It was one afternoon with Vincent that made Margaret want them even more.
Vincent's class was having a bake sale and he asked Margaret to help him make some cookies or pie. He couldn't decide, so they decided to make both. Hawkeye had offered to take the rest of the kids out so they could bake. Sabrina had tap so he had to drop her off before taking the kids to the park. It was her first day back at tap so he got Brittany to take care of the kids. He couldn't say no to the little girl.
Meanwhile back at Margaret's, Vincent was putting on his apron that Betsy gave him while Margaret put hers on.
"Margaret?"
"Yes honey?"
"Like my apron? Grammie gave it to me."
"I love it." She smiled looking at the little boy. Vincent smiled brightly. Any comment that came from Margaret he held high on a pedestal. "You ready to bake?"
"Yup. Going to make cookies first. Cause you don't have to stoves like Daddy."
"That's true, what kind of cookies are we going to make?"
"Vincent Cookies." He smiled brightly.
"What do we need for Vincent Cookies?"
"We need to melt the chocolate. Can you help, I'm not supposed to play with the stove." Margaret smiled at the little boy. He always followed the rules and when he didn't, he knew the punishment. His father always told him no baking for a week if he broke a rule and learned very early not to break them.
"Of course. You want to sift the flour?"
"Yup." He smiled and moved his chair to the counter. "I'll tell you want to put in."
"Okay." Margaret smiled.
"You need to melt the butter. Grammie said that goes first. Don't burn though. Then cut up the chocolate. I'm not allowed to play with knifes."
"Okay. How do I cut the chocolate?"
"You need to use the special knife." Vincent told her as he measured the flour. He knew how many scoops of each thing to put in. That's how he cooked. "It looks like a fork." He smiled pointing to the chocolate knife. Margaret smiled and picked it up. "Now you cut it by banging it up and down. Like this." He took his empty sifter and started to shake it in an up and down motion. Margaret already knew how to break chocolate, but she wasn't going to tell Vincent. He looked so cute. He had already managed to get flour on his face, and Margaret found it amusing.
"You gotta put the vanilla in. One big spoon." He smiled handing Margaret the vanilla and a measuring spoon.
"Now what?" She asked already put the vanilla in.
"You need to melt the chocolate. Little bits at a time." Vincent instructed. "And I gotta stir. Cause I need you to mix the flour with the other stuff. I'm not strong enough yet." Vincent smiled. Margaret smiled back and handed the little boy a wooden spoon.
"Kay, add the chocolate chips with the flour and white stuff." She nodded as Vincent watched her carefully put the chocolate chips in. He was stirring the now melted chocolate to put in the cookies. "Good." He praised.
"Thank you." She smiled stirring the batter. Vincent got down off the chair and grabbed the cookie sheet. He brought it over to the counter.
"Now you gotta spread it out, like a big square cookie." Margaret smiled and started to spread out the dough. Once it was all spread out evenly she looked at Vincent.
"Now what?"
"Could you put that in the oven? Daddy said I'm not allowed to cause I'm to little."
"Of course." Margaret smiled and put the cookie sheet in the oven. "Now what do we do with the chocolate?"
"It needs to go in the fridge. Cause it needs to go over the cookie." He smiled. Margaret took the pot and placed it in the fridge.
"Now what?"
"Um.We can start pealing the apples." He said handing Margaret an apple. Margaret smiled and started to cut the apple up. After she finished one, Vincent would hand her another. And it went on like that. Vincent was a chatterbox like his father. Margaret enjoyed listening to him; he had so much more to tell than Hawkeye did. He told her about school, his friends, and the school's cook who took him on a tour. Margaret enjoyed his little tales, and he enjoyed telling her them.
Margaret listened to the little boy and imagined if she and Hawkeye's child would be like Vincent. Vincent was a short chubby little boy. With raven black hair like his father, he was a spitting image of Hawkeye. Including the sparkling blue eyes that always danced with excitement, amusement or mystery. Unlike his father he wasn't very mischievous, but laid back. His father said he got that from his mother.
After all the apples were pealed and cut, Vincent sat in front of the oven and watched the cookies bake, he said he would watch so they wouldn't burn. He was never the one to eat his own creation, even though his brothers and sisters were.
Margaret took the large cookie out of the oven and placed it on a cooling rack as they did the dishes. One little boy could make so many dishes making cookies, but was a joy to be around. It reminded Margaret of having a baby again. They were the biggest joy to have around, but they were very messy.
Once they finished with the dishes, Vincent got the chocolate out of the fridge and handed it to Margaret. She smiled and with his careful instructions poured the cooled chocolate over the cookie. He watched her as a smile spread over his face. Margaret noticed that smile and smiled herself.
"Can I put the apples on?"
"Go ahead." Margaret encouraged handing him the lemon-covered apples.
"Did you know that the lemon juice keeps the apples from going brown?"
"No I didn't. But I do now," Margaret smiled placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I like baking with you. Daddy tries but burns things."
"I'm a Mommy, I know not to burn the chocolate." Vincent smiled at Margaret. It was true she was a Mommy. The closest thing he had to one. And he loved it. She was smile at him all the time, which made him feel like he was important. She would do all the things a mommy would do. In more ways than one, she was his 'mommy'.
After the cookie pie was done, Margaret put it in the freezer. Hawkeye would be there soon and she wanted to get a head start on dinner. Vincent of course was going to help. He asked if he could, and who could say no to a four-year-old who wanted to cook? Certainly not Margaret. She couldn't wait for the day when her son would run up to her and ask what's for dinner. She knew he would, because Hawkeye did it all the time. Even though he would attack her from around the waist and start nibbling at her neck. It not that she didn't enjoy it, because she did. It was the thought of having a child made the future feel closer than it was.
They had dinner and Margaret noticed at they felt like a family. Finn would kick Sabrina under the table and Dorby would shoot peas out of his nose at her. They made Sabrina feel like she was part of the family. And not matter what happened, she would always have a big kid shooting peas out of his nose. Everyone loved being together as a family, even though they weren't a family per say.
When Hawkeye took the kids home that night, he saw something in Vincent that he'd never seen before. He sent all the kids to get their teeth brushed while he put Rory to bed. She looked at him and smiled.
"Ahhhhhhhhh! Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!" She smiled brightly.
"Why are you going to cry?"
"No cry. Me cute." She smiled brightly and let her brown eyes slowly disappear.
"I love you doll." He smiled walking out of her room seeing Vincent brushing his teeth. "Hey buddy, did you have fun today?"
"Yeah, I had fun cooking with Mommy."
"Mommy?" Hawkeye asked in confusion. Vincent looked at his father and smiled with toothpaste all over his toothless grin.
"I mean Margaret." His father smiled and patted him on his head before heading into the girl's room.
"Hi dolls." He smiled seeing that they already were in bed.
"Hi daddy." Katelyn smiled pulling her blanket up to her chin. He smiled and walked over to her bed.
"Did you have fun with Brittany?"
"Yeah, she's tons of fun." Katelyn smiled maneuvering herself into her father's arms. She laid her head on his lap. It was Katelyn routine, she would tell him all about her day while he rubbed her back, Baylee would usually read, but sometimes she would join in with the talking. He loved that time with his girls; they had so much to say. After his time with the girls, he put them to bed and went to put the boys to bed. Dorby and Finn shared a room, and Vincent as the youngest boy had his own. When he walked in to see Dorby and Finn. Finn as usual was already asleep and Dorby was still doing his routine of banging his pillow one hundred times. He smiled and said goodnight before going to check on Vincent.
"Hey buddy, why aren't you asleep?"
"I had a lot of fun with Margaret. She's a good cook. We made Vincent cookies and next time she said we could make something else."
"You really like cooking with her don't you?"
"She's really fun." Vincent said with a yawn.
"I know." Hawkeye smiled as he watched his son's eyes disappear under his eyelids. Hawkeye kissed him on the head and walked out of his room. He walked downstairs with a smile on his face. When he got into the kitchen, he picked up the phone and called Margaret. Who was pretty busy throwing up.
When the phone rang Margaret just walked out of the bathroom, after throwing up all the food she consumed that day.
"Hello?"
"Hey baby, guess what?"
"What?"
"Vincent while brushing his teeth called you mommy." Hawkeye smiled as he threw some meat on his sandwich.
"That's so sweet." Margaret smiled as she placed a hand on her lower abdomen. "What are you doing?"
"Making a snack. Ham, pineapple, turkey, roast," He started. Margaret started to feel like throwing up again. "Tomatoes."
"Excuse me." She said before dropping the phone and running into the bathroom. Hawkeye was still on the line and waited until she got back from throwing up. "I'm sorry, I had to throw up."
"Why, you sick?"
"No."
"Side affects from any medication?" He asked as Margaret heard the mustard he was putting on his sandwich.
"No."
"So then, what's the matter?"
"I think I'm pregnant." Margaret said in frustration. "And it's all your fault!"
"Pregnant! What! My fault?"
"Yes you Bastard!"
"How can it be just my fault? As I recall you have to be there too!" Hawkeye retorted getting a tad bit angry that she was laying all this on his shoulders.
"I know. I'm sorry." Margaret said breaking down. She had been so emotional lately, and didn't like it. He heard her start crying on the other end and felt terrible.
"Listen, stay where you are. I'll be there in twenty okay?" Margaret nodded her head. "Margaret say something."
"Okay." She said through tears. Hawkeye quickly hung up the phone, called Brittany. He waited until she arrived before he rushed to her house. Margaret was sitting on the front porch.
"Hey." He said before giving her a hug. "How you doing?"
"I feel terrible." She said leaning into him.
"What makes you sure that you're pregnant?"
"A lot of things really."
"If you cant tell the person you love, then who can you tell?"
"Well, first of all morning sickness that lasts all day." She started feeling more comfortable. "I'm getting nauseous from certain smells. I've been more irritable, and I've been thinking of a baby for a while now."
"Why were you thinking of a baby?"
"I don't know. Seeing Rory's smile, and Vincent's personality, and Baylee's eyes, and Dorby's behavior, and Finn's mystery about him, and Katelyn, Katelyn's love for everything. And how you are with them, and how you treat Sabrina with the same kind of love you treat your kids."
"I love her."
"I know you do. And I love you kids."
"Well go get tested." He smiled rubbing her arm. He watched her head drop. "Do you want this baby?"
"I.I don't know." Margaret said softly.
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I just don't know!" Margaret said pulling away. "I don't know if I want this baby!"
"You don't even know yet! And how could you not want our baby.unless it isn't ours."
"What the fuck do you mean?"
"You been screwing around!"
"Oh fuck you!"
"Yeah you did fuck me! But you fucked some else didn't you!"
"How dare you!"
"Oh how dare me! I'm not the bitch that screws around you know!"
"You sorry bastard! I should have known better then get involved with you!"
"What did you think I was getting myself into! Getting together with someone who screwed on every man she had!"
"Fuck you!"
"You did! While you were still married to Donald!"
"You son of a bitch! Go!"
"Fine! But let me make one thing clear, if is my child, I want to know."
"Fine, now leave!" She yelled. Hawkeye shook his head and walked off. How could she be so unreasonable? Margaret took a deep breath and walked into the house. Sabrina was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a strange look on her face.
"Mama, are you mad?"
"No not at you." Margaret said to her child, that was close to tears. Sabrina ran into her mother's arms and started to cry. Margaret held her little girl and let the thoughts of the baby come to mind.