All Cats are Gray in the Dark
Warning-for all those who don't like the idea of men smooching and other things, hit the back up button and clear the hell on out of here. All Cats.came from one of my ex-husband's favorite sayings, or at least one of the cleaner ones, regarding love making. "Egyptian Darkness", another one of his, is a 1970's German slang term, referring to those first few moments of complete darkness, right after you switch off the light. It's a reference to one of the plagues of Moses, when God blotted out the sun.
"I HATE FUCKING LOSING!" I yelled at the four windowless walls of the broom closet, that the inn keeper had the audacity of calling a room. "AND I HATE YOU GENJO SANZO AND THEM 3 FUCKEN TALKING HEADS TOO!" We'd rolled in late to this eye sore of a town, this carbuncle on the bum of South Central China, after one very long day.
There is nothing that so gets ya off on the wrong foot as no coffee and hired assassins first thing in the morning. We got jumped at day break after spending the night in the car and then didn't get rid of them finally until late afternoon when the last of those dumb turds didn't make his get way quick enough to avoid going splat on Jippu's front bumper. The quiet lasted a few miles, that is until the local demon population, who'd heard that the Sanzo-ikkuo were in the area, couldn't resist trying for the large bounty promised to anyone who could kill us and capture the Maten Scripture.
This of course ain't gonna happen.
Anywho, this slowed us up so much that by the time we'd finally made town and found an inn with vacancies, it was after midnight and the 'nice' rooms were occupied. Needless to say, Sanzo was pissed and a pissed Sanzo makes for a babbling inn keeper. I suppose the maniacal purple eyes and the blood spattered robe didn't help the guy's quickly deteriorating mental processes.
Yes, he did have two rooms that were almost as nice as the 'nice' rooms, and a third the inn keeper had the nerve of referring to as the 'economy' model. This turned out to be a 9 by 6 foot coffin of a space with no windows, a mattress on the floor and nails pounded into the walls to hang your clothes on. 'Economy,' the polite term for 'cheap ass dump,'
Which left of course, who was going to get what. Sanzo, being Sanzo, declared that since he was footing the bill, he didn't care what the rest of us were doing; HE wasn't going to share space with anybody. Pointing out that the Three Aspects card wasn't technically his and that Celestial Accounting Office was actually paying for this mess, earned me a slap on the head with the fan and a new part in my hair from a bullet.
Stupid son of a bitch.
So Hakkai, Goku and I pulled out a deck of cards and drew for the other two rooms. Haikki and the Saru both drew Aces and with an eight of Hearts, I 'won' the broom closet. Hakkai smiled and gave me the stiff upper lip speech, and I asked him if maybe a stiff upper was something both of us needed, 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more'. Hey, what can I say? Monty Python re-runs are everywhere.
Hakkai politely turned me down flat. Damn, why does that man's sex drive only kick in when it rains? Not like he really wants to be there even then, it's not so much about me or sex, as it is an escape, a diversion. Burying himself in my more then eager flesh to hide from the blood on his hands, like I could lick them clean or fuck away the scar on his belly. Cripes, why couldn't he come to my bed one night with out the sound of thunder and the name Kanan making my ears ring?
Well, cussing won't change anything, although it did make me feel a hell of a lot better. I went my cupboard, slammed the door and stripped off my clothes. The hell with the 'hooks' on the wall, my duds got tossed in the corner. A quick pull on the chain for the single bulb hanging from the ceiling and the room went pitch black. The hell with it all.
"Egyptian darkness," I mumbled without a much enthusiasm. Usually the sudden darkness led to the squealing of what ever 'honey of the day or night', I'd managed to sweet talk into coming to my room for a reenactment of the Moses plague stories the missionaries told. All done very authentically I might add, in the missionary position. Just love them bouncy little locusts
Oh well no honeys around in this bum fuck of a town where they roll up the sidewalks at O-dark-30*. Sleeping with my self tonight was a unique concept. So, I snuggled down solo under the wooly blankets; must have been more tired then I figured, after the long ride, the fight and everything else, slumber found me in a big hurry.
But not for very long.
It's funny. Most nights, I can sleep through the Saru's whining and snoring, but this night, it was the rustle of a blanket that brought me fully awake. I cracked an eye just enough to see the figure standing in the door way silhouetted by the dim light from the hall. The light streaming in from the back gave no clue to his/her features, just the outline of a tallish being, wrapped head to knee in a blanket.
Lying still, but with every nerve just waiting for the signal to jump, I waited for whoever it was to make the next move. And move he did, closing the door and once again sending the room into total darkness. Now I was ready for the worst. The floor creaked with every step, until the last rasp of bare foot to floor was right by my ear. "If you're here to kill me," I said quietly, turning over on my back. "Let get this over with so I can back to sleep one way or the other."
My visitor remained silent and unmoving.
"Well? You got something better to do or are ya just gonna stand there?"
A soft flow of air rolled across my face, created by my visitor slowly dropping to his knees beside the mattress.
"Bored now," I commented.
I stopped being bored real quick when warm lips and cold glass lay gently upon my forehead.
"Hakkai," I breathed.
My fingers slid through his damp hair, it smelled deliciously of vanilla and lemon, his favorite shampoo, a simple and distinctive scent, just like the man. "Glad you changed your mind. Just in from the baths huh?" I smiled toward his unseen face. "Fresh as daylight and pink as sunset I'd bet, that's my pretty Hakkai." My wondering fingers slipped down, touching the clips that grace the edge of his right ear. Three little pieces of metal, I've always marveled at that, keeping a flood of demon energy in check, "you're amazing Hakkai." I whisper into that ear. "The way you taste as good as you feel." I slid my tongue down those clips, tasting metal, then salty flesh, working down to jaw bone, then throat. "Oh so good," moaning into his neck, I nipped and sucked the tender flesh possessively. "And mine."
His hands roamed my chest, callused fingers brushing my nipples with the lightest of touches. "There," I moaned. "Touch me again." The fingers gave each a playful tweak. "Don't tease Hakkai, just ....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" The salvia wetted pads of his thumbs found my nipples again, making lazy circles on that sensitive skin.
The sensations went straight to my brain, turning the night red and sending any rational thought rocketing away until all that remained was my need for breath and Hakkai's body. Pulling his face to mine, we kiss fiercely, craving the other as food and drink for the soul. Then breaking the kiss for but a moment, the tip his tongue ventured out to graze my bottom lip, butterfly soft and quick. That was all I needed, now I wanted his taste. "Hmmmmm," I moaned, my tongue dancing about the roof of Hakkai's mouth. The tang of peppermints, toothpaste and just the hint of sake sent my senses reeling.
His fingers danced lightly down my chest, stopping mid belly to make rings about my navel. A slow sensuous figure eight, a little nail, then finger tip, then full pad; repeating and repeating this maddening circuit made me scream into his mouth. Then the fingers dropped lower and Hakkai's body shifted with them. His kisses trailing from our mouths, south flicking past each nipple, a dip in the navel and then.
Oh Gods! My mind exploded.
Oh Gods, Hakkai, you can't be serious.
Oh Gods! Tears flowed down my cheeks.
Oh Gods, you never done THIS before!
"Oh!" My voice went high, tight and breathy. "Gods!"
"Please...please...no.right... there.please....I.....you're....yes.yes....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!"
My legs bicycled in the air for a moment as my shoulders took the full weight of our bodies as Hakkai lurched forward behind my splayed knees. It was a high place he took me and from that great plateau, I fell. Crashing, laying spent with lungs not large enough to get in even a 10th of the air I needed to catch my breath, I swore to cut back on the smoking, especially if, this was going to happen more often.
"You..were..amazing," the words came in slow gasps. I sat up slowly and felt about for him. Hakkai lay breathing hard at my feet. "Come on Lover," I said gently lifting him on to the mattress. "I think I've got a couple of things to show you before the sun comes up." Laying him on his back, I straddled his bony hips and brought his hands up to my eager lips. Flicking my tongue lightly across the palms of his hands, I could hear him hiss with pleasure and squirm beneath me. "Feel good my pretty little Hakkai?"
The sharp intake of breath from the darkness answered that question loud and clear.
And so it was like that for the rest of the night; give and take, sound and silence. At times I was as demanding as a War Lord, whimperingly submissive as a virgin and then minutes later, coquettish as the town slut cruising for a quickie during New Years Festival. Hakkai brought all that out in me and more.
It must have been several hours, 4 orgasms, two winded willies and a bazillion hickies later, that we dozed entwined in each others arms. Come daylight, riding in the back seat with the Saru was going to be hellish, but hey. After a night like this one, I'd kick the little monkey in the head and nap for the rest of the day.
My wake up call came early, bright and rude. "Come on Goyjo," Hakkai's voice was way too cheery and that one lonely light bulb burned itself into my retinas. "Sanzo wants an early start."
"Pretty Hakkai," I smiled muzzily at my monicled lover. "Morning Baby, how's about a little mornner** to get the day started with a bang."
"Gojyo, get up."
"Getting that way," I gave him a leer and a wink. "Care to give a lad a hand?"
Hakkai's smile was starting to get forced. "No Gojyo, I mean get yourself out of bed. Sanzo looks like the furies were after him all night and I don't want any trouble. This is a nice inn; I'd like to leave a place just once without having to pay for furniture, bullet pocks or broken windows. Just get up."
"Ok, ok." I made motions at rising, but grabbed Hakkai by the shoulders and flipped him on to the mattress. "Now about the mornner," I purred grinding my hips into his and finding his lips to kiss.
Hakkai sighed. But not in the 'me so horny' way as much as 'you done yet, I gotta file my nails' kinda sigh.
And with that, I wilted like the last cabbage on the green grocer's cart on market day. "Jeez, at least the broads say 'good morning' or 'got coffee' or 'you were great last night.'
Hakkai sighed again. This time it was the 'yeah yeah WHAT ever' sigh. "Ok, if that's what it takes to get you dressed and on your feet. Good morning, coffee is down stairs and you were great last night."
"Oh thanks, that was a real turn on"
"Considering I don't even know what you were even great at....."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." I sat down on the mattress with a thump, pants half way up my ass. "What do you mean, don't know? Excuse me!" Now I was pissed. "You came come in here last night all hot and bothered, rode me hard, put me away wet and now you don't KNOW WHAT WAS SO GREAT??????!!!!!! You're acting like you weren't even here last night!"
"I wasn't." He said simply.
"HUH!!!!!!!" I was dumbfounded. "What do you mean you weren't here? Christ, Hakkai." I said bitterly. "I never figured you for THAT type." A kind I'd run into way too many times in the past. Swear undying devotion in the dark and then cross the street rather then acknowledge your existence in the light of day. "But if you want to play it like that, FINE! You weren't here you hypocritical bastard."
Now he had the nerve of looking hurt and confused. "Goyjo," Hakkai was now trying to keep a tremble out of his voice. "I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I spent the night caring for Goku. Those nasty leftovers the innkeeper served up from last nights dinner disagreed with him and he had a belly ache till about an hour ago. Ask Goku please, if you don't believe me."
There was something in his voice and pleading eyes that made me want to believe him more then anything. My anger ebbed a bit as I gave the matter some thought. Snapping my fingers, as the germ of an idea took root; I flung myself back down on the mattress. "Hakkai, kiss me."
"Uh, I thought we went through this once already."
"No dumb ass, this is research. Kneel right there, yeah next to my head, and kiss me right here." I pointed to a spot on my forehead. Hakkai shrugged, bent over and chastely gave me a kiss. Bringing my hand up and through his hair, we enacted the first few moments of our alleged encounter. After a moment, I stopped and got to my feet. "You're right, you weren't here. Sorry about snapping at you man."
"Hey, no problem." That's Hakkai, thank Gods, Mr. Forgive and Forget. "You probably dreamt the whole episode."
I smiled ruefully, "would have been the first time, I ever gave a dream a hickey."
Hakkai was right. Sanzo looked like the furies had run up one side of his sorry ass and down the other. The dark circles under his eyes matched the dark and poisonous mood he was in. Even Goku didn't say much, other then one or two 'I'm hungries' and then nothing after Sanzo broke his fan over the Saru's head. So, we got out of that miserable little town, just as the sun came up and my eye lids went down.
I woke up a few hours later to desolate country side and a wicked bad nicotine jones. Fumbling through my jacket and pants pockets, my fingers found lint, match books, a couple of coins and two empty packs of Hi-Lites. "Shit," I crumple the packs and toss them over the side. Now I gotta ask that stinken monk for one of his 'cowboy killers.***' I ain't jones'en that bad.
15 Minutes later.......YES I AM! I'm weak! I need a cigarette the way Goku needs meat buns. Crap. Staring at the back of Sanzos head I try to figure a way of slipping the pack out of his pocket. Going up the sleeves was out of the question; his hands were in his lap, or reaching down the front of his robe? Maybe, if he were asleep. Quick checks to the rear view mirror showed his eyes at half mast, he must be as tired as I am. Now all I have to do is wait, for him to fall asleep, so I could reach over. As my eye traveled the path my hand would soon take, I noticed, just at the top of his high necked leather collar, the edge of what looked like discolored flesh. A bruise, a boo-boo....if it were anybody else, a hickey.
Gods, I'm a masochist, but something like this is just too good to pass up. Causally, I lean over and whisper in his ear "hey Sanzo- sama, gotta cig to spare? " And on the intake of breath to get out the words that were sure to be my death warrant, a familiar smell waives past my nose. Reality as we know it just stopped for me, as it must have been the Buddisadvas that love my ass kept me blurting out the 'h' word.
"Get lost Cockroach," he snapped back, not even turning his head.
"Oh come on ya cheap skate," it was the first thing that came to mind and kept me close for another moment more.
"Bugger off," Sanzo was reaching for the pistol, as I ducked and flung myself as far into the backseat as I could to escape a bullet and an improbable possibility. It'd only taken a second for that quick sniff. Yup, lemon and vanilla. Holy Cripes! No, not him. Not Mr. Touch-Me-Not. He would have never allowed it. Yet....there was the bruise on his neck and the lemon and vanilla shampoo smell that was never there before. Considering how long I'd been lusting for the man, I knew his scent, sandalwood on his body, and tobacco on his breath topped off with an expensive coconut shampoo he was partial to. Circumstantial evidence at best, but coupled with the exhaustion he was exhibiting, was starting to make for a convincing argument.
I sat back, nicotine fit forgotten and for the next hour pondered the ridiculous.
We hit town shortly after 12:00 noon. It was much larger then that carbuncle 100 mile east, the inns much better as were the restaurants and on Sanzos insistence, we stopped early and checked into one of the nicer establishments. Which, of course as usual, its management fell all over themselves welcoming such a holy man as Genjo Sanzo. Yeah right, 'holy man' my ass. This time we each got a separate room and a very nice one at that. Shower, windows and a big comfy bed. Just the right size for a proper romp in the hay.
And I knew just who I wanted to romp with. Should my theory prove right and I wasn't shot dead.
Sanzo didn't come to the door immediately. Not after the first volley of knocks, nor the second or third for that matter. He finally opened the door after I'd started kicking the damn thing. His pale lean face was pinched in fatigue and annoyance, "make it quick Jerk off." Sanzo growled without preamble.
I bit my tongue and chastised myself. Bad Gojyo, naughty cockroach, but the mental pictures created from that comment were just too delicious. "Actually, that's what I'm here to see you about." I said boldly, stepping through the door way before he had a chance to slam it in my face. "About last night....."
Sanzo's face remained stony but a vein surfaced on his forehead. I closed the door and leaned against it studying the monks' body language. "Get out," he hissed. "I'm tired and want some sleep."
"Not until I either have some answers or I know for sure it wasn't you." I commented still watching him closely for either his reaction or his hand gun. "Because if it was you....you got some 'splan'in to do Lucy' and if not....well.a five second head start before the back of your door is wearing my brains would be appreciated."
"One," Sanzo started to count.
"Did you come to my room last night?"
"Two," the look in those lavender eyes was murderous
"Cuz if it was you Beautiful, just want ta say you gave me the most incredible night of my life!"
"Tthree," was there just a hint of a stammer in that voice?
You were the best, you've got the most fantastically tight....
"FOUR!"
"Oh crap!" So, if that's the way it's gotta be, then so be it. Before he could say 'five' or make move for his sleeve, I grabbed him firmly by the shoulders, spun him quick and kicked the 31st Select Chosen of Buddha squarely in the ass, sending him flying onto the bed. Now, I had to be quicker. Leaping on top of him the second Sanzo hit the mattress; I ripped off my belt, caught his hand before it dipped into his sleeve to pull out the pistol and wrapped the belt around his wrist. Catching the other fist as it bashed my nose; I managed to force it behind his back, loop the belt about the wrist and finally pull it tight. Then taking as comfortable a seat on Sanzo's belly as his bony hips would allow, I surveyed my hissing and seriously pissed off potential lover.
"You are so dead you fucking asshole!!!!!!!" Sanzo yelled furiously.
"Geez, I think I liked you better when you were all quiet, mysterious and had your mouth all over my....
"Let me up," he howled, drumming his pointy knees into my back.
"Stop that," I said calmly reaching beneath his robes. "Or I'm gonna make you a soprano in the Chang-An Boys Choir."
Well, that quieted Sanzo right down.
We sat there for a bit, or at least I sat and wiped the blood from my nose with the sheet, as Sanzo lay on his back and fumed. "You are such a dip shit," I finally broke the silence. "You look at every freaking one of us every freaking day, yet you don't ever see us."
"Moron" Sanzo hissed.
"No, me=smart guy," I corrected. "You=moron. Hakkai wears his power limiters on his left ear and his monocle over his right eye. You had them reversed.
"Like you really would have noticed any thing in the dark," Sanzo sneered. "You'd be too busy trying to get off."
"Yeah, you're right, can't tell a lie there. In the heat of a good passionate fuck, the world could come off it axis and I wouldn't notice or give a rats ass. But," I ran caressing fingers down his jaw. "In the morning, that's another story. That's when I noticed several things."
"First off, Hakkai doesn't have any calluses on his hands," I held mine up to demonstrate. "You do. Here, here and here." I pointed to the base of each middle finger and then the right index finger. The metal rings of your arm warmers, you've worn them so long they've built up a callus and with the work out you give that pistol of yours, geeze that whole finger was like sandpaper. But sexy feelen sandpaper. Got my motor running. But, I digress. Secondly, Hakkai's hips are a bit more cushioned then what I was bumping on last night. Geez, I damn near beat myself black and blue on that pelvis of yers boy. Get a little more meat in your diet; I like a lover with some padding on their bones."
"Hey," Sanzo said with more then a huge touch of sarcasm. "Buddhist here. Vegetarian.
"Oh yeah right, vegetarian. Geez Sanzo, didn't anyone ever tell you never ta bullshit a bullshiter? Let's see," I ticked the vows off on my fingers, "Chasty-not after last night. Poverty-not with the way you use the Aspects card, Modesty-in black leather and blonde hair, yeah sure. No drinking of intoxicants or cigarette smoking-Oh Pa-lease! Not taking a life?! Can we say Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson? So good try Kiddo, but it don't wash. Not with me."
"Damn fucking Cockroach," was all Sanzo had to say on the subject.
Now, I wanted to make sure in my own mind for the last time. Putting both hands on the collar of his robe, I gave the material a quick jerk and pulled it down to his elbows. Revealing his shoulders and trapping his arms further in the sleeves of the robe, insuring my safety even further.
Sanzo flushed a rather becoming pink and turned his face from my gaze. Those beautiful creamy arms and shoulders were marred, dotted in bruises and bite marks. Not from any fight could those have come, but from the wounds of love. "I'm sorry," and genuinely meant it. I leaned forward, "I'm so so sorry." My lips touched each black and blue in a gentle kiss as if trying to erase their possessive ugliness from such a tender canvas.
"So what am I now? " Sanzo said disgust heavy in his voice. "A pity fuck?"
"Only if you think that's all you're worth." I said quietly. "Is The Great Genjo Sanzo who escaped the clutches of the Dark Spider Clan and the Scorpion Woman, reduced to stealing a mercy fuck in the dark?"
Sanzo winced at that, still looking away with no emotion in his voice asked, "What am I worth now in the full light of day?"
"Everything." I whispered. And with a quick prayer to the Gods, loosed the belt holding his wrists. Then I took him, gently, carefully, with the Sun as witness to the most high and the most low finding middle ground. But I really didn't be come lost in that soft skin until I heard the metallic clatter of a pistol hitting the hard wood floor. Now my death would be la petite mort****.
We made love, smoked up one pack of 'cowboy killers', slept and then made love again as the setting Sun made the shadows long and the light surreal. What could I say about him? Genjo Sanzo, lying golden and wanton in bed beside me. I studied him as he slept. Smooth skin, a neatly muscled torso and an ass so shapely and well rounded, it would make you believe in the Gods and thank them for their handiwork. And then studied him all the more as he lay beneath me, squirming and moaning as I lay claim to his body. It was a struggle with that pride of his, I watched it rise then be thrust away only to arise later.
I've had a lot of woman (and my fair share of men) from the skankest ho' to a few rich men's wives and daughters, but none of them could ever compare with Sanzo. Not in looks, abilities or personality- even if it was poisonous and stubborn. That's the thing I love...lust...like? Oh shit, how do I feel? So I leaned over, kissed him lightly on the charka, as the sun made the shadows longer and the room grey, then took him in my arms. "We gotta talk."
"I suppose we do," Sanzo lit another cigarette and in a tone that could curdle milk. "And you're going to say what? Give which speech? That it was real, it was nice, so it must have been real nice, before you go tell the next tart you're with that you porked a Sanzo?"
"Well you got it partly right," I did pork a Sanzo and it was real nice." I shot back sarcastically. "No, this is about you, me and Hakkai.
His eyebrow lifted as he sucked that half a cig down to ash in one intake of breath.
"Listen Beautiful," I said quietly. "And hear me out before you do anything. I love Hakkai. I love him because he is everything that the mind of my heart says I SHOULD have."
The look on Sanzo's face made my heart break. But I kept on going.
"Good, kind, loyal to a fault, great cook.yet he only comes to me when it rains. To hide from a dead woman and the 1000 demons whose blood he can't erase from his hands. Sorry, that's getting just a little too Lady Mac Beth for me. But you're not bargain either when it rains.Mr. Touch-Me-Not- because-I-gottta-suffer-alone-Sanzo."
He stiffened at that remark and then tried to get out bed.
"Oh no," I said pulling him back. "You are gonna hear every last word." Looking into those hard violet eyes, I was as much a goner as I was the first night he came to my door looking for Cho Gonou.
"I have a lust for you Beautiful. I lust for you the way a thirsty man craves water in a desert, as the dying desire life and the sinner prays for redemption. You're the everything the mind of my body and soul NEEDS me to have, Genjo Sanzo and no other. You came to my bed under false colors, pretending to someone else, ok, I can live with that for what ever you reason you had, it must have been a hell of a doozy. Maybe some day you'll even tell me what that reason was." My grin went ear to ear, "But in the mean time....."
"And what of 'Pretty Hakkai?"
"I don't know." I decided to be honest. "I hope when that rainy night comes, it will be you who'll come to me for comfort not camouflage."
"But if it's him?"
"Hopefully, by the time that happens I will love him enough to send him back to his own room. Good enough?"
"I suppose so, stupid kappa." Then a small wicked smile came to his face. "And what makes you think I need you after tonight?"
I grinned and held him even tighter in my arms. "Cuz, I'm that red hair in your personality. The one who can take what you dish out, mentally and physically. Insult me and I'll be back, blacken my eye and brother, yours will be just as dark. But mostly." I stopped momentarily for a bruising kiss, "I'm that twisted, addicted part of your soul, you can't live without. Lust, addiction, need, hunger, whatever word you want to use, it will have my name right in front of it."
And with that, Sanzo turned off the light. In the darkness, I couldn't see his face, couldn't see his reaction to my words, but the way his hands were moving across my body, I didn't need to.
"Egyptian darkness." I said automatically.
"What?"
"Missionary story," I sounded like a carnival show barker. "Let me tell ya a story of the plagues of Moses, all done quite authentically in the missionary position."
"Really," Sanzo's voice took on a lazy sexy quality. "Do tell."
"Yup, you're gonna love them bouncy little locusts."
And he did.
*O-dark-30: US Military slang for pretty darn early. **Mornner: is a nooner only sooner ***Cowboy Killers: 1970's US Military slang for Marlboro cigarettes **** La Petite Mort: French for 'The Little Death'
Warning-for all those who don't like the idea of men smooching and other things, hit the back up button and clear the hell on out of here. All Cats.came from one of my ex-husband's favorite sayings, or at least one of the cleaner ones, regarding love making. "Egyptian Darkness", another one of his, is a 1970's German slang term, referring to those first few moments of complete darkness, right after you switch off the light. It's a reference to one of the plagues of Moses, when God blotted out the sun.
"I HATE FUCKING LOSING!" I yelled at the four windowless walls of the broom closet, that the inn keeper had the audacity of calling a room. "AND I HATE YOU GENJO SANZO AND THEM 3 FUCKEN TALKING HEADS TOO!" We'd rolled in late to this eye sore of a town, this carbuncle on the bum of South Central China, after one very long day.
There is nothing that so gets ya off on the wrong foot as no coffee and hired assassins first thing in the morning. We got jumped at day break after spending the night in the car and then didn't get rid of them finally until late afternoon when the last of those dumb turds didn't make his get way quick enough to avoid going splat on Jippu's front bumper. The quiet lasted a few miles, that is until the local demon population, who'd heard that the Sanzo-ikkuo were in the area, couldn't resist trying for the large bounty promised to anyone who could kill us and capture the Maten Scripture.
This of course ain't gonna happen.
Anywho, this slowed us up so much that by the time we'd finally made town and found an inn with vacancies, it was after midnight and the 'nice' rooms were occupied. Needless to say, Sanzo was pissed and a pissed Sanzo makes for a babbling inn keeper. I suppose the maniacal purple eyes and the blood spattered robe didn't help the guy's quickly deteriorating mental processes.
Yes, he did have two rooms that were almost as nice as the 'nice' rooms, and a third the inn keeper had the nerve of referring to as the 'economy' model. This turned out to be a 9 by 6 foot coffin of a space with no windows, a mattress on the floor and nails pounded into the walls to hang your clothes on. 'Economy,' the polite term for 'cheap ass dump,'
Which left of course, who was going to get what. Sanzo, being Sanzo, declared that since he was footing the bill, he didn't care what the rest of us were doing; HE wasn't going to share space with anybody. Pointing out that the Three Aspects card wasn't technically his and that Celestial Accounting Office was actually paying for this mess, earned me a slap on the head with the fan and a new part in my hair from a bullet.
Stupid son of a bitch.
So Hakkai, Goku and I pulled out a deck of cards and drew for the other two rooms. Haikki and the Saru both drew Aces and with an eight of Hearts, I 'won' the broom closet. Hakkai smiled and gave me the stiff upper lip speech, and I asked him if maybe a stiff upper was something both of us needed, 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more'. Hey, what can I say? Monty Python re-runs are everywhere.
Hakkai politely turned me down flat. Damn, why does that man's sex drive only kick in when it rains? Not like he really wants to be there even then, it's not so much about me or sex, as it is an escape, a diversion. Burying himself in my more then eager flesh to hide from the blood on his hands, like I could lick them clean or fuck away the scar on his belly. Cripes, why couldn't he come to my bed one night with out the sound of thunder and the name Kanan making my ears ring?
Well, cussing won't change anything, although it did make me feel a hell of a lot better. I went my cupboard, slammed the door and stripped off my clothes. The hell with the 'hooks' on the wall, my duds got tossed in the corner. A quick pull on the chain for the single bulb hanging from the ceiling and the room went pitch black. The hell with it all.
"Egyptian darkness," I mumbled without a much enthusiasm. Usually the sudden darkness led to the squealing of what ever 'honey of the day or night', I'd managed to sweet talk into coming to my room for a reenactment of the Moses plague stories the missionaries told. All done very authentically I might add, in the missionary position. Just love them bouncy little locusts
Oh well no honeys around in this bum fuck of a town where they roll up the sidewalks at O-dark-30*. Sleeping with my self tonight was a unique concept. So, I snuggled down solo under the wooly blankets; must have been more tired then I figured, after the long ride, the fight and everything else, slumber found me in a big hurry.
But not for very long.
It's funny. Most nights, I can sleep through the Saru's whining and snoring, but this night, it was the rustle of a blanket that brought me fully awake. I cracked an eye just enough to see the figure standing in the door way silhouetted by the dim light from the hall. The light streaming in from the back gave no clue to his/her features, just the outline of a tallish being, wrapped head to knee in a blanket.
Lying still, but with every nerve just waiting for the signal to jump, I waited for whoever it was to make the next move. And move he did, closing the door and once again sending the room into total darkness. Now I was ready for the worst. The floor creaked with every step, until the last rasp of bare foot to floor was right by my ear. "If you're here to kill me," I said quietly, turning over on my back. "Let get this over with so I can back to sleep one way or the other."
My visitor remained silent and unmoving.
"Well? You got something better to do or are ya just gonna stand there?"
A soft flow of air rolled across my face, created by my visitor slowly dropping to his knees beside the mattress.
"Bored now," I commented.
I stopped being bored real quick when warm lips and cold glass lay gently upon my forehead.
"Hakkai," I breathed.
My fingers slid through his damp hair, it smelled deliciously of vanilla and lemon, his favorite shampoo, a simple and distinctive scent, just like the man. "Glad you changed your mind. Just in from the baths huh?" I smiled toward his unseen face. "Fresh as daylight and pink as sunset I'd bet, that's my pretty Hakkai." My wondering fingers slipped down, touching the clips that grace the edge of his right ear. Three little pieces of metal, I've always marveled at that, keeping a flood of demon energy in check, "you're amazing Hakkai." I whisper into that ear. "The way you taste as good as you feel." I slid my tongue down those clips, tasting metal, then salty flesh, working down to jaw bone, then throat. "Oh so good," moaning into his neck, I nipped and sucked the tender flesh possessively. "And mine."
His hands roamed my chest, callused fingers brushing my nipples with the lightest of touches. "There," I moaned. "Touch me again." The fingers gave each a playful tweak. "Don't tease Hakkai, just ....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" The salvia wetted pads of his thumbs found my nipples again, making lazy circles on that sensitive skin.
The sensations went straight to my brain, turning the night red and sending any rational thought rocketing away until all that remained was my need for breath and Hakkai's body. Pulling his face to mine, we kiss fiercely, craving the other as food and drink for the soul. Then breaking the kiss for but a moment, the tip his tongue ventured out to graze my bottom lip, butterfly soft and quick. That was all I needed, now I wanted his taste. "Hmmmmm," I moaned, my tongue dancing about the roof of Hakkai's mouth. The tang of peppermints, toothpaste and just the hint of sake sent my senses reeling.
His fingers danced lightly down my chest, stopping mid belly to make rings about my navel. A slow sensuous figure eight, a little nail, then finger tip, then full pad; repeating and repeating this maddening circuit made me scream into his mouth. Then the fingers dropped lower and Hakkai's body shifted with them. His kisses trailing from our mouths, south flicking past each nipple, a dip in the navel and then.
Oh Gods! My mind exploded.
Oh Gods, Hakkai, you can't be serious.
Oh Gods! Tears flowed down my cheeks.
Oh Gods, you never done THIS before!
"Oh!" My voice went high, tight and breathy. "Gods!"
"Please...please...no.right... there.please....I.....you're....yes.yes....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!"
My legs bicycled in the air for a moment as my shoulders took the full weight of our bodies as Hakkai lurched forward behind my splayed knees. It was a high place he took me and from that great plateau, I fell. Crashing, laying spent with lungs not large enough to get in even a 10th of the air I needed to catch my breath, I swore to cut back on the smoking, especially if, this was going to happen more often.
"You..were..amazing," the words came in slow gasps. I sat up slowly and felt about for him. Hakkai lay breathing hard at my feet. "Come on Lover," I said gently lifting him on to the mattress. "I think I've got a couple of things to show you before the sun comes up." Laying him on his back, I straddled his bony hips and brought his hands up to my eager lips. Flicking my tongue lightly across the palms of his hands, I could hear him hiss with pleasure and squirm beneath me. "Feel good my pretty little Hakkai?"
The sharp intake of breath from the darkness answered that question loud and clear.
And so it was like that for the rest of the night; give and take, sound and silence. At times I was as demanding as a War Lord, whimperingly submissive as a virgin and then minutes later, coquettish as the town slut cruising for a quickie during New Years Festival. Hakkai brought all that out in me and more.
It must have been several hours, 4 orgasms, two winded willies and a bazillion hickies later, that we dozed entwined in each others arms. Come daylight, riding in the back seat with the Saru was going to be hellish, but hey. After a night like this one, I'd kick the little monkey in the head and nap for the rest of the day.
My wake up call came early, bright and rude. "Come on Goyjo," Hakkai's voice was way too cheery and that one lonely light bulb burned itself into my retinas. "Sanzo wants an early start."
"Pretty Hakkai," I smiled muzzily at my monicled lover. "Morning Baby, how's about a little mornner** to get the day started with a bang."
"Gojyo, get up."
"Getting that way," I gave him a leer and a wink. "Care to give a lad a hand?"
Hakkai's smile was starting to get forced. "No Gojyo, I mean get yourself out of bed. Sanzo looks like the furies were after him all night and I don't want any trouble. This is a nice inn; I'd like to leave a place just once without having to pay for furniture, bullet pocks or broken windows. Just get up."
"Ok, ok." I made motions at rising, but grabbed Hakkai by the shoulders and flipped him on to the mattress. "Now about the mornner," I purred grinding my hips into his and finding his lips to kiss.
Hakkai sighed. But not in the 'me so horny' way as much as 'you done yet, I gotta file my nails' kinda sigh.
And with that, I wilted like the last cabbage on the green grocer's cart on market day. "Jeez, at least the broads say 'good morning' or 'got coffee' or 'you were great last night.'
Hakkai sighed again. This time it was the 'yeah yeah WHAT ever' sigh. "Ok, if that's what it takes to get you dressed and on your feet. Good morning, coffee is down stairs and you were great last night."
"Oh thanks, that was a real turn on"
"Considering I don't even know what you were even great at....."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." I sat down on the mattress with a thump, pants half way up my ass. "What do you mean, don't know? Excuse me!" Now I was pissed. "You came come in here last night all hot and bothered, rode me hard, put me away wet and now you don't KNOW WHAT WAS SO GREAT??????!!!!!! You're acting like you weren't even here last night!"
"I wasn't." He said simply.
"HUH!!!!!!!" I was dumbfounded. "What do you mean you weren't here? Christ, Hakkai." I said bitterly. "I never figured you for THAT type." A kind I'd run into way too many times in the past. Swear undying devotion in the dark and then cross the street rather then acknowledge your existence in the light of day. "But if you want to play it like that, FINE! You weren't here you hypocritical bastard."
Now he had the nerve of looking hurt and confused. "Goyjo," Hakkai was now trying to keep a tremble out of his voice. "I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I spent the night caring for Goku. Those nasty leftovers the innkeeper served up from last nights dinner disagreed with him and he had a belly ache till about an hour ago. Ask Goku please, if you don't believe me."
There was something in his voice and pleading eyes that made me want to believe him more then anything. My anger ebbed a bit as I gave the matter some thought. Snapping my fingers, as the germ of an idea took root; I flung myself back down on the mattress. "Hakkai, kiss me."
"Uh, I thought we went through this once already."
"No dumb ass, this is research. Kneel right there, yeah next to my head, and kiss me right here." I pointed to a spot on my forehead. Hakkai shrugged, bent over and chastely gave me a kiss. Bringing my hand up and through his hair, we enacted the first few moments of our alleged encounter. After a moment, I stopped and got to my feet. "You're right, you weren't here. Sorry about snapping at you man."
"Hey, no problem." That's Hakkai, thank Gods, Mr. Forgive and Forget. "You probably dreamt the whole episode."
I smiled ruefully, "would have been the first time, I ever gave a dream a hickey."
Hakkai was right. Sanzo looked like the furies had run up one side of his sorry ass and down the other. The dark circles under his eyes matched the dark and poisonous mood he was in. Even Goku didn't say much, other then one or two 'I'm hungries' and then nothing after Sanzo broke his fan over the Saru's head. So, we got out of that miserable little town, just as the sun came up and my eye lids went down.
I woke up a few hours later to desolate country side and a wicked bad nicotine jones. Fumbling through my jacket and pants pockets, my fingers found lint, match books, a couple of coins and two empty packs of Hi-Lites. "Shit," I crumple the packs and toss them over the side. Now I gotta ask that stinken monk for one of his 'cowboy killers.***' I ain't jones'en that bad.
15 Minutes later.......YES I AM! I'm weak! I need a cigarette the way Goku needs meat buns. Crap. Staring at the back of Sanzos head I try to figure a way of slipping the pack out of his pocket. Going up the sleeves was out of the question; his hands were in his lap, or reaching down the front of his robe? Maybe, if he were asleep. Quick checks to the rear view mirror showed his eyes at half mast, he must be as tired as I am. Now all I have to do is wait, for him to fall asleep, so I could reach over. As my eye traveled the path my hand would soon take, I noticed, just at the top of his high necked leather collar, the edge of what looked like discolored flesh. A bruise, a boo-boo....if it were anybody else, a hickey.
Gods, I'm a masochist, but something like this is just too good to pass up. Causally, I lean over and whisper in his ear "hey Sanzo- sama, gotta cig to spare? " And on the intake of breath to get out the words that were sure to be my death warrant, a familiar smell waives past my nose. Reality as we know it just stopped for me, as it must have been the Buddisadvas that love my ass kept me blurting out the 'h' word.
"Get lost Cockroach," he snapped back, not even turning his head.
"Oh come on ya cheap skate," it was the first thing that came to mind and kept me close for another moment more.
"Bugger off," Sanzo was reaching for the pistol, as I ducked and flung myself as far into the backseat as I could to escape a bullet and an improbable possibility. It'd only taken a second for that quick sniff. Yup, lemon and vanilla. Holy Cripes! No, not him. Not Mr. Touch-Me-Not. He would have never allowed it. Yet....there was the bruise on his neck and the lemon and vanilla shampoo smell that was never there before. Considering how long I'd been lusting for the man, I knew his scent, sandalwood on his body, and tobacco on his breath topped off with an expensive coconut shampoo he was partial to. Circumstantial evidence at best, but coupled with the exhaustion he was exhibiting, was starting to make for a convincing argument.
I sat back, nicotine fit forgotten and for the next hour pondered the ridiculous.
We hit town shortly after 12:00 noon. It was much larger then that carbuncle 100 mile east, the inns much better as were the restaurants and on Sanzos insistence, we stopped early and checked into one of the nicer establishments. Which, of course as usual, its management fell all over themselves welcoming such a holy man as Genjo Sanzo. Yeah right, 'holy man' my ass. This time we each got a separate room and a very nice one at that. Shower, windows and a big comfy bed. Just the right size for a proper romp in the hay.
And I knew just who I wanted to romp with. Should my theory prove right and I wasn't shot dead.
Sanzo didn't come to the door immediately. Not after the first volley of knocks, nor the second or third for that matter. He finally opened the door after I'd started kicking the damn thing. His pale lean face was pinched in fatigue and annoyance, "make it quick Jerk off." Sanzo growled without preamble.
I bit my tongue and chastised myself. Bad Gojyo, naughty cockroach, but the mental pictures created from that comment were just too delicious. "Actually, that's what I'm here to see you about." I said boldly, stepping through the door way before he had a chance to slam it in my face. "About last night....."
Sanzo's face remained stony but a vein surfaced on his forehead. I closed the door and leaned against it studying the monks' body language. "Get out," he hissed. "I'm tired and want some sleep."
"Not until I either have some answers or I know for sure it wasn't you." I commented still watching him closely for either his reaction or his hand gun. "Because if it was you....you got some 'splan'in to do Lucy' and if not....well.a five second head start before the back of your door is wearing my brains would be appreciated."
"One," Sanzo started to count.
"Did you come to my room last night?"
"Two," the look in those lavender eyes was murderous
"Cuz if it was you Beautiful, just want ta say you gave me the most incredible night of my life!"
"Tthree," was there just a hint of a stammer in that voice?
You were the best, you've got the most fantastically tight....
"FOUR!"
"Oh crap!" So, if that's the way it's gotta be, then so be it. Before he could say 'five' or make move for his sleeve, I grabbed him firmly by the shoulders, spun him quick and kicked the 31st Select Chosen of Buddha squarely in the ass, sending him flying onto the bed. Now, I had to be quicker. Leaping on top of him the second Sanzo hit the mattress; I ripped off my belt, caught his hand before it dipped into his sleeve to pull out the pistol and wrapped the belt around his wrist. Catching the other fist as it bashed my nose; I managed to force it behind his back, loop the belt about the wrist and finally pull it tight. Then taking as comfortable a seat on Sanzo's belly as his bony hips would allow, I surveyed my hissing and seriously pissed off potential lover.
"You are so dead you fucking asshole!!!!!!!" Sanzo yelled furiously.
"Geez, I think I liked you better when you were all quiet, mysterious and had your mouth all over my....
"Let me up," he howled, drumming his pointy knees into my back.
"Stop that," I said calmly reaching beneath his robes. "Or I'm gonna make you a soprano in the Chang-An Boys Choir."
Well, that quieted Sanzo right down.
We sat there for a bit, or at least I sat and wiped the blood from my nose with the sheet, as Sanzo lay on his back and fumed. "You are such a dip shit," I finally broke the silence. "You look at every freaking one of us every freaking day, yet you don't ever see us."
"Moron" Sanzo hissed.
"No, me=smart guy," I corrected. "You=moron. Hakkai wears his power limiters on his left ear and his monocle over his right eye. You had them reversed.
"Like you really would have noticed any thing in the dark," Sanzo sneered. "You'd be too busy trying to get off."
"Yeah, you're right, can't tell a lie there. In the heat of a good passionate fuck, the world could come off it axis and I wouldn't notice or give a rats ass. But," I ran caressing fingers down his jaw. "In the morning, that's another story. That's when I noticed several things."
"First off, Hakkai doesn't have any calluses on his hands," I held mine up to demonstrate. "You do. Here, here and here." I pointed to the base of each middle finger and then the right index finger. The metal rings of your arm warmers, you've worn them so long they've built up a callus and with the work out you give that pistol of yours, geeze that whole finger was like sandpaper. But sexy feelen sandpaper. Got my motor running. But, I digress. Secondly, Hakkai's hips are a bit more cushioned then what I was bumping on last night. Geez, I damn near beat myself black and blue on that pelvis of yers boy. Get a little more meat in your diet; I like a lover with some padding on their bones."
"Hey," Sanzo said with more then a huge touch of sarcasm. "Buddhist here. Vegetarian.
"Oh yeah right, vegetarian. Geez Sanzo, didn't anyone ever tell you never ta bullshit a bullshiter? Let's see," I ticked the vows off on my fingers, "Chasty-not after last night. Poverty-not with the way you use the Aspects card, Modesty-in black leather and blonde hair, yeah sure. No drinking of intoxicants or cigarette smoking-Oh Pa-lease! Not taking a life?! Can we say Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson? So good try Kiddo, but it don't wash. Not with me."
"Damn fucking Cockroach," was all Sanzo had to say on the subject.
Now, I wanted to make sure in my own mind for the last time. Putting both hands on the collar of his robe, I gave the material a quick jerk and pulled it down to his elbows. Revealing his shoulders and trapping his arms further in the sleeves of the robe, insuring my safety even further.
Sanzo flushed a rather becoming pink and turned his face from my gaze. Those beautiful creamy arms and shoulders were marred, dotted in bruises and bite marks. Not from any fight could those have come, but from the wounds of love. "I'm sorry," and genuinely meant it. I leaned forward, "I'm so so sorry." My lips touched each black and blue in a gentle kiss as if trying to erase their possessive ugliness from such a tender canvas.
"So what am I now? " Sanzo said disgust heavy in his voice. "A pity fuck?"
"Only if you think that's all you're worth." I said quietly. "Is The Great Genjo Sanzo who escaped the clutches of the Dark Spider Clan and the Scorpion Woman, reduced to stealing a mercy fuck in the dark?"
Sanzo winced at that, still looking away with no emotion in his voice asked, "What am I worth now in the full light of day?"
"Everything." I whispered. And with a quick prayer to the Gods, loosed the belt holding his wrists. Then I took him, gently, carefully, with the Sun as witness to the most high and the most low finding middle ground. But I really didn't be come lost in that soft skin until I heard the metallic clatter of a pistol hitting the hard wood floor. Now my death would be la petite mort****.
We made love, smoked up one pack of 'cowboy killers', slept and then made love again as the setting Sun made the shadows long and the light surreal. What could I say about him? Genjo Sanzo, lying golden and wanton in bed beside me. I studied him as he slept. Smooth skin, a neatly muscled torso and an ass so shapely and well rounded, it would make you believe in the Gods and thank them for their handiwork. And then studied him all the more as he lay beneath me, squirming and moaning as I lay claim to his body. It was a struggle with that pride of his, I watched it rise then be thrust away only to arise later.
I've had a lot of woman (and my fair share of men) from the skankest ho' to a few rich men's wives and daughters, but none of them could ever compare with Sanzo. Not in looks, abilities or personality- even if it was poisonous and stubborn. That's the thing I love...lust...like? Oh shit, how do I feel? So I leaned over, kissed him lightly on the charka, as the sun made the shadows longer and the room grey, then took him in my arms. "We gotta talk."
"I suppose we do," Sanzo lit another cigarette and in a tone that could curdle milk. "And you're going to say what? Give which speech? That it was real, it was nice, so it must have been real nice, before you go tell the next tart you're with that you porked a Sanzo?"
"Well you got it partly right," I did pork a Sanzo and it was real nice." I shot back sarcastically. "No, this is about you, me and Hakkai.
His eyebrow lifted as he sucked that half a cig down to ash in one intake of breath.
"Listen Beautiful," I said quietly. "And hear me out before you do anything. I love Hakkai. I love him because he is everything that the mind of my heart says I SHOULD have."
The look on Sanzo's face made my heart break. But I kept on going.
"Good, kind, loyal to a fault, great cook.yet he only comes to me when it rains. To hide from a dead woman and the 1000 demons whose blood he can't erase from his hands. Sorry, that's getting just a little too Lady Mac Beth for me. But you're not bargain either when it rains.Mr. Touch-Me-Not- because-I-gottta-suffer-alone-Sanzo."
He stiffened at that remark and then tried to get out bed.
"Oh no," I said pulling him back. "You are gonna hear every last word." Looking into those hard violet eyes, I was as much a goner as I was the first night he came to my door looking for Cho Gonou.
"I have a lust for you Beautiful. I lust for you the way a thirsty man craves water in a desert, as the dying desire life and the sinner prays for redemption. You're the everything the mind of my body and soul NEEDS me to have, Genjo Sanzo and no other. You came to my bed under false colors, pretending to someone else, ok, I can live with that for what ever you reason you had, it must have been a hell of a doozy. Maybe some day you'll even tell me what that reason was." My grin went ear to ear, "But in the mean time....."
"And what of 'Pretty Hakkai?"
"I don't know." I decided to be honest. "I hope when that rainy night comes, it will be you who'll come to me for comfort not camouflage."
"But if it's him?"
"Hopefully, by the time that happens I will love him enough to send him back to his own room. Good enough?"
"I suppose so, stupid kappa." Then a small wicked smile came to his face. "And what makes you think I need you after tonight?"
I grinned and held him even tighter in my arms. "Cuz, I'm that red hair in your personality. The one who can take what you dish out, mentally and physically. Insult me and I'll be back, blacken my eye and brother, yours will be just as dark. But mostly." I stopped momentarily for a bruising kiss, "I'm that twisted, addicted part of your soul, you can't live without. Lust, addiction, need, hunger, whatever word you want to use, it will have my name right in front of it."
And with that, Sanzo turned off the light. In the darkness, I couldn't see his face, couldn't see his reaction to my words, but the way his hands were moving across my body, I didn't need to.
"Egyptian darkness." I said automatically.
"What?"
"Missionary story," I sounded like a carnival show barker. "Let me tell ya a story of the plagues of Moses, all done quite authentically in the missionary position."
"Really," Sanzo's voice took on a lazy sexy quality. "Do tell."
"Yup, you're gonna love them bouncy little locusts."
And he did.
*O-dark-30: US Military slang for pretty darn early. **Mornner: is a nooner only sooner ***Cowboy Killers: 1970's US Military slang for Marlboro cigarettes **** La Petite Mort: French for 'The Little Death'