Um, I forgot the disclaimer for chapter 1, so here it is.
Disclaimer: anything that notably belongs to anyone else in the past, present, and future of this fanfic is NOT MINE.
Anyhoo, here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, Jandalf had somehow hitched a ride with a sparrow, and was looking for some batteries for Lindo's newly purchased remote. Both of them had completely missed the fact that Radioshack sold batteries. Oh, well.
"Hey, Fred," she yelled up at the sparrow that was flying her over the mountains.
"Chirp?" said Fred.
"I need to make a stop down there." She pointed at a reeeeeeeeaaally tall building.
Fred chirped in awe.
"Yeah. A friend of mine lives there."
Down in the reeeeeaaaally tall building, Jandalf's friend, another wizard, who was called Mikumon, was busily tie-dying her latest white shirt, when Jandalf dropped in.
Literally.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" Splat.
Mikumon ran over. "Jandalf? Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Jandalf stood up, perfectly unharmed. One of the benefits of being a wizard. "Nice shirt."
"Thanks. But I ran out of yellow yesterday."
"Oh. Too bad. Well, I was looking for four AA batteries…do you have any?"
"Oh, yeah, right upstairs."
"How far?"
"Um…152763 stories up, I think that's my unused battery floor. 152762 is for the dead batteries."
"Uh-huh. Anyway, thanks."
"Yup."
Jandalf began the long journey up.
Mikumon absently closed the door, to keep the drafts of the staircases out of the room. Besides that, she didn't particularly enjoy bats getting into her dye.
Quite a few hours later…
Jandalf staggered wearily up the stairs, wondering why Mikumon didn't have an elevator. Or at least an escalator. "Yeesh. Minions of Xendor."
By this time, she had smacked 152763 bats with her staff and was getting rather irritated.
Finally, she reached the 152763rd floor, panting heavily. "Why do they have to make these capes so @#^@#!!$! heavy?"
She wrestled with the rather old doorknob, then finally got it open.
The entire room was filled with unopened battery packages. All labeled Radioshack.
Jandalf smacked her forehead and groaned. "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. By all the minions of Xendor. What luck."
But she gathered up a few packages anyway and turned to leave.
The door was shut.
She wrestled with it, pounded on it, pummeled it with batteries.
It wouldn't open.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, then fainted from lack of oxygen.
Lindo and Chelsegorn were still cruising the highway.
Putt-putt-putt-putt. The motorcycle coughed, gasped, sneezed, and ran out of gas.
"Crud!" Lindo yelled.
Taffy, pursuing them for 152763 miles now, finally caught up. "I want KIBBLES!!"
"Shut up, we ran out of gas."
Chelsegorn suddenly sat up straight and looked around anxiously.
Lindo looked up at her. "What's up?"
"Me! Heeheeheeeee!"
Lindo scowled darkly, being short.
"Sorry," Chelsegorn said. "Anyway, I think I smell cookies."
"Cookies?"
"Small, low-fat cookies."
They both gasped and said simultaneously, "Martha Stewart!"
"We gotta get out of here!" Lindo looked around frantically for any sign of a gas station.
Chelsegorn saw a very large and bare hill. "Ooh, let's go there! We'll be able to see her for miles!"
"Chelsegorn, SHE'LL be able to see US for miles."
"Oh. Uh, then let's go into the Forest of Crazy Doom."
"Are you crazy?"
"Duh."
"Right. Well, whatever works."
"Besides, I know the Forest like the back of my third left hand!"
"Huh?"
"Umm…nothing."
"Chelsegorn?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you have GPS?"
"No."
"We're doomed," groaned Lindo.
"Yay!"
"I want KIBBLE!" screamed Taffy.
"Taffy! SHUT UP! YOU'RE BEING TOO LOUD! DO YOU WANT HER TO HEAR US?!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!"
"Sorry."
"Oops."
Small, black, hard, low-fat cookies hurtled out of the bush toward them.
One hit Chelsegorn in the head, knocking her out.
Lindo ducked behind her motorcycle and thought frantically, then hitched a saddle onto Taffy, got on with the limp Chelsegorn, and rode off into the Forest of Crazy Doom, Martha Stewart in hot pursuit.
She was a ridiculously frightening sight. She had the whole black cape Goth thing, with the black horse. She carried her custom-made Icky Icky Cookie Shooter of Doom, and a perfectly coiled garden hose.
Lindo was about to make Taffy climb a tree when Chelsegorn woke up and yelled.
This startled Taffy, who yelped and fell off the tree, landing on the ground, which was about 2 inches away.
Martha caught up. She whipped out her garden hose and lashed out at the three travelers, seeking the remote.
Lindo, tangled in the hose, pulled out the remote and pressed pause.
Martha froze in midair.
"Yessssss!!!!" Lindo crowed, then said, "Odd. It doesn't have any batteries."
"Oh," said Martha, and unfroze.
"NOOOOO," yelled Lindo. "Why do I have to be so smart?"
More coming up soon!!