Scene 2, Tumblebrutus on the Pipe
MT: Ok, guys get back here!
CATS: ...
MT: Or else the next parody will be Annie
CATS: *hurry back*
MT: Jenny, Skimble, how's Tumble?
Tumble: *high pitched* I'm FINE!
Jenny: Until your tone get's back to normal, you are most certainly not fine!
Tumble: *normal voice* Really, I am!!!
Jenny: Can you walk?
Tumble: MOM!
Jenny:...
Tumble: Fine, *walks, limping only slightly*
Skimble: I don't think you're gonna be able to do that dance at the ball for a while.
Tumble: WILL YOU GUYS SHUTTUP!!!!!!
Jemi/Electra/Etccy/Vicci: *snicker*
Tumble: Oh shuttup.
MT: Right, well fortunately your character doesn't do much dancing until later so right now you can just be a townsperson... who doesn't dance. Let's start with the next scene, go!!!
Vrintze: Mama, Jente the matchmaker is coming!
Hodeltra: Maybe she's finally found a match for you Rietl!
Jolde: From your mouth to Bast's ears! Children go outside and continue with your work, I want to talk to Jente alone.
*Rietl, Hodeltra, Javah, Vrintze and Bielcetera leave as Jente walks in*
Jente: Charming children, Jolde I'll find a match for every one of them!
Jolde: Come in Jente!
Jelly: Do I have to do this!?! It can be summed up so easily!
MT:... but the audience has to know
Pouncie: What audience?
MT: The rest of you kitties!
Tugger: But we don't really care!
MT:...
Jelly: Basically I tell 'Jolde' that the rich, old butcher Lasparagus-Wolfe wants to marry Rietl. She says she'll have Skevye talk to him. That's about it and now the audience knows.
MT: Actually that is pretty much it. Funny how that got stretched into about ten minutes... Oh to heavyside with it! Girls just do your song.
Rumple: Daw we 'ave ta?
MT: Yes. I love this song! Go!!!
Hodeltra: I wonder if Jente the matchmaker has found a match for you Rietl?
Rietl: Jenta, Jenta, Jenta!
Pouncie: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
MT: _
Hodeltra: Well somebody has to arrange the matches! Young people can't decide these things themselves!
Javah: She might bring someone wonderfull!
Hodeltra: Someone interesting!
Javah: And important!
Hodeltra: And well off!
Matchmaker, matchmaker
Make me a match
Find me a find
Catch me a catch
Matchmaker, matchmaker
Look through your bok
And make me a perfect match!
Javah: Matchmaker, matchmaker
You bring the veil
I'll bring the tom
Slender and pale
Jemima: Odd taste this one has...
Javah: Bring me a ring
For I'm longing to be
The envy of all I see
Hodeltra: For pappa
Make him a scholar!
Javah: For mamma
Make him rich as a king!
Both: For me
Well
I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything!
Matchmaker, matchmaker
Make me a match
Find me a find
Catch me a catch
Night after night in the dark
I'm alone
So find me a match
Of my own
Rietl: Since when are yaw interested een a match Javah? Oi thawt yaw 'ad yawr eye on yar books?
Hodeltra: *giggle*
Rietl: An' yaw 'ave yar eye on tha rabbi's san!!!!
Hodeltra: Well why not? We have only one rabbi, he has only one son. Why shouldn't I want the best?
Rietl: Becaws, yawr a gehl fram a poo' family saw woteva Jenta brings, yawll tike. Roigh' ? Af cawse roigh'!
Hodeltra, Hodeltra
'ave oi moide a match far yaw!
'e's 'andsome!
'e's young!
Oll roigh' e's sixty-taw
but e's a noice tom
A good catch
Traw?
Traw!
Oi promise yawll be 'appy
An' even eef yawr not
There's moare ta loife than tha'!
Dawn ask me wot!
Javah! Oi fawnd 'im
Weel yaw boi a lucky broide!
'e's 'andsome!
'e's toll!
Tha' is from soide ta soide
But 'es a noice man, a good catch
Roigh'?
Roigh'!
Yaw've 'eard 'es got a temper
'e'll beat yaw every noigh'
Bat awnly when e's soba
Saw yawr oll roigh'!
Deed ya think yawd get a prince?
Javah: Well I'll find the best I can
Rietl: Weeth naw dawry, naw money, naw family backgroun'... boi glad yaw've go' a tom!
Javah: Matchmaker, matchmaker you know that I'm
Still very young
Please
Take your time!
Hodeltra: Up to this minute, I misunderstood
That I could get stuck for good!...
Electra: Hey, wait a minute... I'm stuck on something! *discovers the chair she just sat down on had Crazy-Glue (which I also don't own) on it*
MT: All right! Who did this?
Pouncie: *points to Tumble*
Tumble: *points to Mungo*
Mungo: *points to Admetus*
Admetus: *points to Alonzo*
Alonzo: *points to Tugger*
Tugger: *points to Misto*
Misto: *points to Plato*
Plato: *points to Bomba*
Bomba: *points to Cassi*
Cassi: *points to Demeter*
Deme: *points to Pouncie*
Pouncie: *changes direction of finger and points at Munkus*
Munkus: Huh? Wha?
MT: MUNKUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Munkus: What?
MT: Did you put Crazy-glue on Electra's chair?
Munkus: What's crazy glue?
MT: A human invention that found it's way into the junkyard somehow.
Munkus: .... no.....
MT: Then by process of elimination it was Pouncie!
Pouncie: Huh?
MT: You crazy-glued Electra to her chair!!!!! You crazy-glue-Electra-to-her-chair-er you!
Pouncie: Ok you lost me at 'you'
Electra: HELLO! I'm still stuck over here!!!!
MT: *ignores her* Pouncie why did you do it?
Pouncie: I didn't... at least I don't think I did. That depends. What is it that I don't think I think I didn't think I think I think that I don't think I did?
MT: I..........don't..........know.........
Electra: Could somebody get me off of here!?!?!?!
MT: *sees her* Hey, Electra, did you know you're crazy-glued to a chair?
Electra: YES I KNOW!!!! NOW COULD YA GET ME OFF!!!!!!!
MT: This is a job for............................................ Seamus!!!! (A/N: I don't know if you read my bio, but Seamus is my little alter-ego/conscious/I can't really explain, lephruchaun in my head)
Seamus: NO WAY! I am not appearing in one of your fics!!!!
MT: You just did.
Seamus:...
MT: Now, Seamus! Use your lepruchaun-y brand of magic to unstick Electra!
Seamus: Who's Electra?
MT: The one that's crazy-glued to the chair!
Seamus: Someone's crazy-glued to a chair?
MT: YES! Now help her!
Seamus: ok! *puff of smoke*
Etccy: Hey... what smells like burned fur?
Seamus: That's what it always smells like *smoke clears, Electra is unstuck*
MT: Thanks Seamus!!!!!
Seamus: *disappears*
Pouncie: MT... can we take a break? My brain hurts.
MT: Yeah, mine too. BREAK TIME!!!!!!
Munkus: Jellicle cats can all rejoice!
.....
All: SHUTTUP MUNKUS!!!!!!!!
*fade out*