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Disclaimer: I thought we had established the fact that I don't own CATS or Fiddler on the Roof? Weren't you paying attention for the last few chapters??? You'd better go and reread them because I don't think you understood two words of them. Go ahead, I can wait
*elevator Musak plays*
You done? Good! Now you can read this chapter if you want to! Or you could click the back button on your browser to escape this nonsense. MAKE YOUR CHOICE WISELY! ahem
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MT: 5, 8, 2, 199, 78, 4, 32... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back! Didja miss us?!?! Huh? Didja? Didja? Huh?!?
Munku: As you can see, she's still on sugar-high, as are Etccy and Pouncie
Etccy: *bounce bounce* No we're not!!!!!! *bounce bounce*
Pouncie: SUGAR!!!!! SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!
Tugger: *coughs*
Etccy: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bounces around the room giggling*
Pouncie: *follows her lead and bounces around the room
Jenny: Oh dear....
Skimble: Aww, they're gonna sleep tonight!
MT: Now back to the question.... didja miss us?!?!?! Huh? Didja? Didja? Huh?
Cass: Yeah MT, I'm sure they reeeeealy missed seeing a bunch of hostages perform a musical under force.
MT: *through teeth* Shuttup Cass! *normally* Aha... she's just kidding folks!
Misto: No she's not!!!
Deme: We're slaves! Tell the people!!!!
MT: Quiet you! *hits Deme with a shoe* hehe! I've always wanted to do that!
Deme: Ouch!
MT: *violin music starts playing* Why are you so mean to me? *eyes well up with tears* I'm just trying to provide some people with entertainment... granted it's not the best entertainment but... *sobs* why do you make it difficult for me? Do you not like making people happy?
CATS: *lips quiver*
Munku: ALL RIGHT!!!!
Alonzo: We'll do the stupid play!
MT: *violin music abruptly stops* *gets all evil looking* Excellent! *eerie music plays*
Misto: How did we actually fall for that?
MT: Quiet!!!!!!! Now, where did we leave off?
Plato: Right at the end before we take our bows!
MT: Yeah right! Ok um... right after If I Were a Rich Tom. This is the scene where they meet Merchik! This is your big debut Misto!
Misto: I don't think I can handle the exitement
MT: ..... *realizes he was being sarcastic* Shuttup! Ok now the people in this scene are Skevye, Merchik, Tendel, Cavruhm, Ramival, the Constable, Pollicle guy, and a few miscellaneous townstoms that will be, um..... Admetus, Alonzo, Tumble and.... Munku.
Queens/Gus/Asparagus/Mungo: *point and laugh at the toms who are in this scene*
Munku: I thought I was Myedka!
MT: You are but we don't have enough toms!
Jenny: *to Tumble* Are you SURE you're going to be ok dear?
Tumble: *through gritted teeth* YES mom
Jenny: Positive? You're gritting your teeth!
Tumble: *sighs* YES mom!
Jenny: Ok
MT: GUYS!!!!!! Go on with the scene!
Skevye: *walks by pulling his cart*
Plato (i/c): *laughs* Skevye, Skevye, what happened to your horse?
Skevye: Well, he decided to take the day off
Plato: Ha ha!
Skimble: Shuttup!
MT: Guys....
Plato (i/c): Have a good Sabbath *laughs and goes away*
Skevye: *ticked off* Thank you, your honor, thank you
*general laughing among the townstoms*
Cavruhm: *runs over to them* Look! Look in the paper!!!
Tumble: Oooooooooh!!! Is it Supercat?!?!
Cori:....no
Tumble: The Great Rumpus Cat!?!?!
Cori: um..... no.....
Tumble: I wonder who the Great Rumpus Cat is anyway... do YOU know Addie?
Addie: *shifty eye thing* Um...... noooo.... no of course not...... why would I know anything about it....... *shifty eye thing again*
Tumble: I dunno... just wonderin'
MT: Guys can we PLEASE continue with the scene?
*general commotion of townstoms wanting to see the paper*
Addie (i/c): Quiet! Stop barking like a pack of pekes! Let him talk!.... talk Cavruhm.
Cavruhm: Well my paper got from the post office today like it does every week. Although usually it comes on a Thursday, sometimes it-
Addie (i/c): Cavruhm, that's not talking! It's babbling!!!
Pouncie: Just like MT!!!
MT: Shut UP Pouncie!!!
Pouncie: Well its true!!! You go on and on and on about absolutely nothing!
MT: Do not!
Pouncie: Do so!
MT: Ok before this turns into one of those things where it's "do not" and "do so" for an entire page, why don't you guys just keep going with your scene.
*more commotion to see the paper*
Addie (i/c): QUIET! Go on Cavruhm
Cavruhm: Well I was reading my paper, nothing very important, something about the crops in the Ukraine and this and that
Addie (i/c): Cavruhm, Talk!
Cavruhm: And then I saw this *holds out a notebook of MT's that has pictures of Mungojerrie and Drew Varley all over it*
Townstoms: *snickersnort*
Mungo: Wow! Tho's disturbin'!
MT: What's so- *spots notebook* HEY!!!!!!! *grabs it away* What happened to the stunt newspaper I gave you?!?!
Alonzo: He went on strike for a higher pay!
MT: I don't believe you....
Alonzo: fine! Demeter over there heard someone crinkling the newspaper. Well, understandably, she thought it was Macavity and tore it to shreds.
MT: Now THAT, I believe
Deme: But it WAS Macavity!
Bomba: *soothing Deme* No hun, it wasn't. Macavity went to train a polar-bear circus, remember?
Deme:.... oh yeah.... ooops! Sorry!
MT: That's ok Deme, but next time use one of YOUR notebooks!
CATS: *snickergiggle*
Electra: Can we say "obsessive"? *giggles*
MT: At least I don't have pictures all over my room or something! I contain them to the notebook!.... wait a minute... you guys should just be running the scene. I can't believe we got so off-topic! GO!!!
Addie (i/c): Alright, we all see it, now what does it say?
Cavruhm: *fighting back laughter* "In a village called Rejenka (A/N I'm positive I butchered the spelling of that, don't kill me!) the Jellicles were evicted from their homes"
Tendel: For what reason?
Cavruhm: It doesn't say. Maybe the Pollicles wanted their land? Maybe there was a plague?
Addie (i/c): May the Pollicles have their own plague!
All (i/c): Amen! *spit*
All (o/c): Ewwwwww! Get it off! Get it off!!!! *frantically try to "clean" themselves*
MT: GUYS!!!!
Tendel: ahem, What's the matter with you? Why don't you ever bring us some good news?
Cavruhm: It's not my fault! I only read it! A heeding from the authorities!
Alonzo (i/c): May the authorities grow like onions, with their heads in the ground!
All (i/c): Amen! *spit*
All (o/c): Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! Get it off! Get it off!!!! *frantically try to "clean" themselves*
MT: GUYS!!!!!!!
Merchik: What good will your cursing do? You stand around and ya curse and ya chater. And you don't DO anything! You'll all chatter your way into the grave!
Tendel: Excuse me, you're not from this village?
Merchik: No
Tendel: Where are you from?
Merchik: Kiev, I was a student in the University there
All (i/c): *general "oh that's it"'s*
Addie (i/c): Tell me, is that where they teach you how not to respect your elders?
All (i/c): Yeah!
Merchik: That's where I learned there's more to life than talk! *takes the now-imaginary newspaper* You should know what's going on in the outside world!
Addie (i/c): Why should I break my head about the outside world? Let the outside world break it's own head!
All (i/c): Right!
Skevye: He's right, as the Good Book says "If you spit in the air, it lands in your face"
Merchik:You can't close your eyes to the outside world!
Skevye: He's right
Tumble (i/c): He's right, he's right, they can't both be right!
Skevye: You know something.... you're also right!
*dishes them out imaginary milk and they leave exept Tendel who collects extra for his father*
Skevye: So you're up from Kiev reb... eh...
Merchik: Merchik
Skevye: Merchik, so you're a newcomer here? As Abraham said, "I'm a stranger in a strange land"
Tendel: Moses said that!
Skevye: Ah, forgive me. As King David said, "I'm of slow speech and of slow tongue."
Tendel: That was also Moses!
Leccy: Does anyone else find it strange that TUGGER is playing the RABBI'S son?
Tugger: What's that supposed to mean!?!
Leccy: *stares*
Tugger: I'm just as.... oh.... hey!
MT: Guys!!!!!!!!! PLEASE get BACK to the SCRIPT!!!!
Skevye:.... for a man with a slow tongue, he talked a lot! *dishes Merchik some imaginary milk* Here Reb Merchik, *breaks off a piece of imaginary bread* have a piece.
Merchik: I have no money
Skimble: Can't you just conjure up some money?
Misto: Hey! Good idea! *gets ready to conjure up money*
MT: NOOOOO! STOP!!!! Skimble, Mistofelees is magical, Merchik isn't.
Skimble: Oh yeah.
MT: Now get back to the thing!
Merchik: And I'm not a begger
Skevye: Oh take it. As a blessing from me to you.
Merchik: *takes bread* Very well... for your sake!
Skevye: Thank you. You know, it's no crime to be poor.
Merchik: In this world, if the rich were criminals, then the whole world would come to be ours.
Misto: YES!!! WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *notices the stares* HA.... ha.... haha?... I'll shuttup now
MT: Good!
Skevye: Oh, that would be nice. If they would agree, I would agree.
Tendel: And who will make this miracle come to pass?
Merchik: Cats, ordinary cats.
Tendel: Like you?
Merchik: Like me
Skevye: Well until your golden day comes, Reb Merchik, how will you live?
Merchik: By giving lessons to kittens. Do you have any kittens?
Skevye: *sighs* I have five queen kittens.
Merchik: Five!?!
Tugger: Whoo! Somebody's keeping himself busy!
MT: TUGGER SHUTTUP!!!!1
Jenny: Think of the KITTENS!!!!!!!!!!
MT: Get ON with it!
Skevye: Queens
Merchik: Well they should know. Queens are people-
Tant: QUEEN POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bomba, Cass, Jenny, Jelly, Leccy, Jemi, Deme, Vicci and Etccy join in): QUEEN POWER!!!
Tumble: Weeeeee are the champions! Weeeeeeeeeee aaaaare the chaaaaaaampioooooooooooons!!!
MT: Ok, Tumble, it kind of disturbs me that you know who Queen is and it disturbs me even more that you sing their songs. (A/N I'm not trying to insult any Queen fans out there! I'm just pointing out that it's strange that a cat knows who they are and enjoys their music!) Ok keep going guys.
Tendel: A radical!!!
Skevye: Eh go away!!!
Skimble: I've waited a looooooooong time to be able to say that!
Tugger: Hey!
MT: GUYS!!!!
Merchik: I'd be willing to teach them! Open their minds to great thoughts!
Skevye: Yeah? Well I'd like them to know about the Good Book...
Merchik: Well the Bible has many lessons for our times!
Skevye: Merchik, I'm a very poor tom but... food for lessons?
Merchik: *nods, they shake on it*
Skevye: Good! Good! Stay with us for the Sabbath! We don't eat like kings but... eh we don't starve! As the Good Book says, "When a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick!"
Merchik: *laughs*
Tendel: Where does the Book say that?
Skevye: Well alright alright, it doesn't EXACTLY say that. But, somewhere in there, there's something about a chicken! Good Sabbath!
Tendel: Good Sabbath *walks away*
MT: Ok yay! We made it through that scene alive! Next scene!
CATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Alonzo: Can we skip it?
MT: No way! This has Mungo in it!!! We're not skipping ANY scenes featuring him!
Mungo: Aow... crap!
Jenny: THINK of the KITTENS!!!!!!!!!!
Kittens: *roll eyes*
MT: JUST GO!!!!!
Rietl/Hodeltra/Javah: *mime setting a table*
Skevye: *walks in with Merchik* Good Sabbath kittens!
Kittens: Good Sabbath pappa!
Skevye: Children, this is Merchik, Merchik, this *motions towards Rietl* is my eldest queen
Hodeltra/Javah: *giggle*
Merchik: You have a pleasant queen
Skevye: I have five pleasant queens! *hugs Bielcetera* This is mine
Bielcetera: Good Sabbath pappa!
Skevye: *hugs Vrintze* And this is mine!
Vrintze: Good Sabbath pappa!
Skevye: *hugs Javah* And this is mine!
Javah: Good Sabath pappa!
Skevye: *hugs Hodeltra* And this is mine!
Moteljerrie: *walks in*
Skevye: *hugs Rietl* And this is mine!
Rietl: Good Sabbath pappa!
Skevye: *turns to Moteljerrie* And this is-
Mungo: *looks horrified*
Skevye: Well, this is not mine
Mungo: phew!
Rietl/Hodeltra/Javah/Vrintze/Bielcetera: *giggle*
Skevye: Merchik, this is Moteljerrie Camzoil
Jolde: So! You did us a favor and came home!
Skevye: Well... this is also mine. Jolde, this is Merchik from Kiev. He'll be staying with us for the Sabbath. He's a teacher! *to Vrintze and Bielcetera* Would you like to take lessons from him kittens?
Vicci: well....
Etccy: ... no
MT: GUYS!
Vicci/Etccy: Fine!
Vrintze/Bielcetera: Yes pappa!
Merchik: I'm a very good teacher!
Hodeltra: I once heard that the rabbi who must praise himself has a congregation of one
Merchik: Your daughter is of quick and witty tongue!
Tugger: Whoah! TMI!!!!! TMI!!!!!!
MT: *slaps head* Tugger! He MEANS that she's clever!
Tugger:....I knew that....*does that little flick-thing with his mane*
Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out*
MT: *sighs* Jelly, bring Etccy over here, Tant, fill in for Etccy
Tant: What's the point? Not like her character actually DOES anything!
MT: Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! She might hear you! And besides, I don't really care. You're Bielkomile whenever Etccy's unconscious, ok?
Tant: Fine *walks over to the performing cats*
MT: Continue with it!
Skevye: Well the wit she gets from me, as the Good Book says-
Jolde: The Good Book can wait, get washed.
Skevye: The tongue she gets from her mother
Jolde: Moteljerrie, I suppose you'll be staying with us too?
Moteljerrie: If I-
Jolde: Of course, *sarcastic* another blessing! Rietl, bring in the small table and Javah, get the chairs from outside. Kittens, finish dressing! *to Merchik* You can go wash up in the well. Hodeltra, go help them [the kittens] Hurry! Hurry kittens! It's almost Sabbath! *everyone leaves she goes over to Skevye* Skevye, I've something to say to you.
Skevye: Why should today be any different?
Jolde: _ Skevye, I've something to tell you!
*this is supposed to be in a different room than Skevye and Jolde*
Moteljerrie: Roitl, Oi've somefin ta tell ya!
Rietl: Jenta wos 'ere!
Moteljerrie: Oi knaw-
Rietl: But wot eef thay foind someone? Then there'll boi a match! An' then eet'll boi taw loite far us!
Moteljerrie: Bu' Roitl! Oi've fawnd someone 'oo'll sell moi 'is used sewing machoine! Saw moibe een a few weeksm oi'll 'ave soived enuff ta boi it!
Tugger: Sewing machine!?!?!
MT: He's a TAILOR!!!
Tugger: *snickersnort*
MT: *suddenly seems very very tall* Got a problem with that?!?!
Tugger: *gulp* no!
MT: *looks normal again* Good! Now let them go on with their scene!
Rietl: A few woiks moight boi taw loite!
Jolde: Lasparagus-Wolfe wants to speak to you.
Skevye: The butcher? What is it about?
Jolde: I don't know, but he says it's important!
Skevye: What could be important? I've nothing for him to slaughter!
Jolde: After the Sabbath, see him! Talk to him!
Skevye: If he's thinking of buying my new milk cow, he can forget it!
Jolde: Talk to him!
Skevye: Shhh! *says a prayer thingie*
Moteljerrie: Wot else cen oi daw?
Rietl: Yeeow cen osk moi father for moi paw tanoigh' Ofta' tha Sabbath!
Moteljerrie: But woi should 'e consider moi naw!?! Oi'm awnly a poor toiler!
Rietl: An' oi'm awnly tha kitten of a poor meelkman!
Moteljerrie: But eef yawr fatha says "naw" tho's eet! Tho's foinal!.... 'e'll yell at moi.... Oi'm just a poor toiler!
Rietl: Moteljerrie, even a poor toiler ees entoitled ta some 'appiness!
Griz: IF YOOU TOUCH ME, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT HAAPINESS IS! LOOK A NEEEEEEEEW DAAAAAAAAAAAAY HAS BEGUUUUUUUN!!!!!!
MT: *looks ready to explode* GRIZ!!!! WHY DO YOU INSIST ON INTERRUPTING ALL OF MUNGO'S SCENES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Pouncie: Uh-oh, that was ALL in caps lock! She must be really mad!
MT: GRIZ!!! GO BACK TO THE HEAVYSIDE LAYER BEFORE I SEND YOU THERE!!!!
Griz: *disappears*
MT: *calms down a bit* Ok, get back to it guys
Moteljerrie: Tho's true....
Skevye: *finishes prayer*
Jolde: Amen. Now a tom wants to speak to you! The least you can do is TALK to him!
Skevye: I don't want to ta-
Jolde: TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Skevye: ALL RIGHT!!!!!! After the Sabbath, I'll talk to him
Pouncie: Anyone else notice how good Jenny is with this part?
Kittens: *snickergiggle*
MT: SHUTTUP AND GET ON WITH IT!!
Moteljerrie: Oll roigh'. Ofta tha Sabbath, Oi'll talk to 'im.
Rietl: *kisses him*
Munku: Uh... that wasn't in the script....
MT: *eyes start to glow red again*
Munku: And I'm ok with that!
*Moteljerrie and Rietl join Skevye and Jolde*
Skevye: It's getting late. Where is everybody?
Rietl: Oi dawn't knaw pappa *motions for Moteljerrie to ask him*
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya,
Skevye: *calling for the kittens and Merchik*
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya?
Skevye: *calling for the kittens and Merchik*
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya?
Skevye: *turns around* Yes, what is it Moteljerrie?
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya?
Skevye: Yes?
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya?
Skevye: Yes?
Moteljerrie: *mouth moves but nothing comes out*
MT: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drools*
Pouncie: *hands me a bucket*
Plato: *clocks me with the same frying pan Teazer used*
MT: Ok, I'm good, I'm good
Skevye: YES??? What is it Moteljerrie!?!?
Moteljerrie: uh.... good Sabbath!
Skevye: Good Sabbath...
Rietl: *looks upset*
Skevye: Hurry!
Jolde: Hurry kittens! Hurry!
*they all gather 'round the table*
MT: Yay! I love this song!
Skevye/Jolde:
May the EC protect and defend you
May He always shield you from shame
May you come to be
In Heavyside a shining name
Pouncie: What does that mean?
MT: SHUTTUP!
Skevye/Jolde: May you be like Ruth and Like Esther
May you be deserving of praise
Strengthen them O Bast
And keep them from the stranger's ways
Skevye: May Bast bless you
And grant you long lives
Jolde: May EC fufill our Sabbath prayer
For you
May Bast make you
Good mothers and mates
Skevye: May He send you husbands who will care
For you
Misto: Wait! Even me and Mungo?!?!
MT: The prayer is SUPPOSED to be for their DAUGHTERS!!! Not the two unexpected guests!!!
Skevye/Jolde: May EC protect and defend you
May EC preserve you from pain
Favor them O Bast
With happiness and peace
Oh hear our Sabbath prayer
Amen
MT: Ok that was good guys! And NOW we may take another break!
Etccy: *wakes up*
CATS: *run away as fast as they can*
MT: Hehehehehe CANDY MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off giggling to the candy machine*
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Thank you to my first reviewer.. um.... darnit what was your name? Well you know who you are! I'll mention you after the NEXT chappie! Sorry! I feel so bad now! Anyhoo I believe it was along the lines of Maureen_Stover.... or something! ACH! I'm so embarrassed!!!! *hangs head in shame* Also, thanks Vicki and Teazer for updating Birdie! and of course for reviewing this! Oh and of course, thank you Sandy the hyper-active kitten *huggles Mungo plushie* for the review and the plushie and *rereads review* GASP!!!!!! A Tugger/Misto story??? *eyes get very big* weawwy??? this is wike a dweam come twue!!!!!!!! (just kidding, you don't have to write a Tugger/Misto story if you don't want to... but if you do want to....hehe) So thank you to all reviewers!!!!