Disclaimer: Pigeonski does not own Yami no Matsuei. If she did then there would be no bishounen because she cannot draw.

Notes: Fic idea came to me eating ice cream (thanks to modern medicine). So happy I wrote this for everyone to see. See? *is attacked by pigeons*

Kawaii border—pie and ice cream cones; triple scoop!

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Strawberry is the best ice cream. It is my absolute favorite. The summery flavor takes me back to past cases in strawberry fields looking for an abnormal goat herder with a taste for human flesh—among other things.

Good times.

The philosopher who says humans are animals comes to mind. People are driven by desire, not necessarily greed, but by preferences. Attractive mates and comfortable houses, being better than and having something to be proud of—basically anything that makes for an enjoyable life for the specific person. I quite agree right now. My joie de vivre for the moment is born in this fantastic strawberry cream. Who could argue?

Well, besides Hisoka-chan, but he's not apt to agree with much of anything in a foul mood. You can tell by the way he drowns out everyone else with music and a book. He should really have some of this ice cream. It could change a person.

Oh dear, on my desert again—it is reaching the viciousness of a mouth-watering strawberry soup. But what's the matter; my bowl is now a cup. I can drink the rest!

"Tsuzuki-san, please be decent."

I ignore Tatsumi-san. I'm too busy enjoying my ice cream. Nothing is better than strawberry.

Well, nothing except….

"What's that, Tatsumi-san?" I ask, implying to the bowl in his hands.

"Chocolate ice cream, why?"

….Nothing except chocolate.

I can taste the thick, sweetness, the coco boding of finer things in life. Oh yes, chocolate for the elite of class! All the Eliza Dolittles and Willie Wonkas would agree. It's perfect; it's tasty. Strawberry is amiable and wonderful for airy conversation on the past; chocolate is purely seductive and treacherously comforting. If you're not careful you'll get very sick, very soon.

I promise I won't go into my impressions on vanilla—we could be here all day if you get me started.

"May I please…have some?" I beg, eyeing the chocolate ice cream with immense longing.

"You have your own, Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi-san says. Everyone else starts entering, each with his or her own share of ice cream. Wakaba-chan really got into her newest cooking experiment. She's served everyone.

And it's all chocolate.

I look desperately for Hisoka. He isn't here. No, he's in the library reading and pretending the world doesn't exist. In books he finds he can experience all the emotions without feeling them the way par usual for him.

…If that makes sense to all of you.

Still, anyone reading Crime and Punishment right now ought to treat themselves to some chocolate. They deserve it. Even you people reading this instead at the moment. Get up and find something to congratulate yourself. I'm sure it's a terrific book, but celebrate and pretend you and Hisoka-chan are on the same page.

Don't worry; I'll wait.

And people say I have no excuse for my voracious eating….

"Watari-san?" I ask, taking a new approach, "May I please have just a little bit of your ice cream? Just a tiny bite?"

Watari-san looks at me warily and down to the frozen desert. He adds the two together and frowns with the negative sum, which is the chance of my "tiny" bite being roughly what everyone else would measure.

"I don't think so, Tsuzuki-san. Gomen." He apologizes and makes towards the direction of his lab.

"I could make you some later though!" he suddenly grins, turning back around. "Cooking is chemistry, you know."

I wince at the thought. Knowing Watari-san, he's going to innocently "spill" a bit of his newest mind/body altering formula into the mix. He's always eager for a subject to test this stuff on. I admit I will readily play guinea pig if offered money, as curtailing my pay seems to be the modus operandi. I never get bonuses and last time I checked, all income is off for the impending future, being over-shadowed by the portentous "out-go" I've steadily acquired.

Basically, I'm in debt and look to other sources for money.

"Er, no thanks Watari-san, you don't have to…."

"No, I insist!"

"Ano…."

 "I'll go to the lab right now and make some. In fact, I think it's a very good idea."

Watari-san leaves and I cringe. He cheers as I've just unwittingly inspired Doom.

Gomen?

If anyone wants to know what happened to the Shokanka, it wasn't my fault. I swear. All I wanted was chocolate ice cream.

Just like that horseshoe nail that lost a war, or even Pandora's box. I just wanted a peek. I was only asking for a bite. Things don't need to go catastrophic on me at every turn.

BOOM!

I don't know what's so explosive about making ice cream…. I'll just pretend Watari-san wasn't working on that. No, he entered his lab and decided to tinker with something else before starting on the desert.

That's it, pleasantly obvious denial. Just let it slowly sink in….

"Tsuzuki-san, why are you staring at your paperweight?" Tatsumi-san asks, looking down at me with mutual expression founded among those who simply cannot explain just why a younger sibling has lost their senses. I'm not a sibling, but I definitely act more immature than everyone else.

"I'm staaaaarving." I groan easily, looking up with an earnest face. "Food?"

Tatsumi-san sighs and goes to his desk, returning with his untouched ice cream. It is unmistakably soft serve at the moment, but I'm not complaining as it settles in front of me.

"Here, I'm not eating it," he permits.

"Oh, thank you, Tatsumi-san!" I exclaim, grabbing a spoon and taking my first over-sized scoop.

Brain freeze is not going to be an issue for the moment.

Tatsumi-san nods from what I'm hardly seeing in my chocolate lust, and walks back to his chair.

"Just don't make a mess of it, Tsuzuki-san," he orders from his desk, "I'm not cleaning up after you."

"Hah [insert swallow and reapplication of ice cream to frozen mouth] ahiiii!"

"Kami-sama, Tsuzuki-san, be civil."

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*stands behind an inflatable Tsuzuki-san and makes its voice* Watashi wa…. Matte! *decides she'll do this in English* I need a Yami no Matsuei beta. Anyone willing? *inflatable Tsuzuki-san puppy eyes* Pleeeeease? I's will luuuuuv yooooou!

C'mon, who can turn down me, Tsuzuki-san? *inflatable meets random sharp object of DOOM and, as inflatables are wont to do, deflates* Sou naa, I'm thinning!

*Pigeonski grins nervously at people who are staring at her and the now lifeless deflated Tsuzuki-san* Erm… oopsie?

~Pigeonski~