Just a little vignette, inspired by the winter spirit. Thanks Krispy for betaing.
Background info: In The Pilgrim, Goren said his mom worked at the library. Also, little Bobby's mom developed schizophrenia when he was 7.
Robert Goren had never been a big fan of winter. The biting wind made his skin blush and burn. His throat choked up with an unwelcome mixture of icy air and fairy breath. No matter how many layers he wore, the New York cold never failed to creep up and claw at his skin. Winter brought snow covered roads and slippery staircases. Even today, these things worried him.
Winters long ago, his mother always walked to the library in the morning and back home again just as the sun set at 4:30 p.m. Bobby remembered sitting by the window and wiping the glass of the cloudy haze left by his breath. He would peer into the distance and squint, searching for the hunched figure of his mother. Usually, she appeared right on time. But some nights, she would be late, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or maybe 30 minutes. Those nights made him shiver. He rubbed the icy glass over and over again but there was no mother, only the night and the cold. What if she had slipped and fell? What if she had hurt herself? What if she couldn't get up? What if? What if?
The "what ifs" drove him crazy with fear. His lungs swelled up and his heart shrank. All he could do was stare and ask, what if? But she always did come home. In the darkness, Bobby would sigh as the long-awaited shadow of his mother appeared under the street lamp. His galloping footsteps to the door always beat the slow and muffled stomps of his mother's boots.
"Hi Mom!"
"Hi Son."
"Mom, let me get that for you."
"Thank you Bobby. You're such a good boy. Why don't you fix yourself something from the fridge for now? Mommy's really tired tonight."
Mother was always tired. But that was ok because Bobby was a good boy and Mother was home and safe.
Every winter night, his watchful gaze searched the snowy streets. Maybe if he looked hard enough, Mommy wouldn't fall. So he did. He watched and prayed that Mother would be ok.