Hyde lay on his stomach, still. "So, this was what it was like to be
dumped," he thought. "Aka Foreman."
How does it feel?
"Feels like crap, thank you very much."
No, to cheat.
"I have some pretty fucked up demons in my head."
Demons, Hyde?
"Get the hell away from me."
Oh, you see-that's a problem. I am you Hyde. Except, honest.
"And sarcastic."
Comes with the package dude.
"What do you want?"
Oh you know, talk.
"Talking to myself always helped."
Well, this is the first time you've tried it.
"How am I doing?"
Pretty crappy, but eh. You're getting there.
"This isn't real. The government planted a chip in my head while I was sleeping didn't they? I'm actually listening to Nixon right now aren't I?"
You never believed in that shit. You just made it up so that people wouldn't think it was you who broke up the Hyde family.
"What the hell is this crap? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"Fine."
Hyde jolted off his bed at the sound of the voice. A real voice. He whipped around to see a chubby, short thirtish man wearing white sitting on the table adjacent to his bed, fingering the HIGH ST. sign he had gotten for his 18th birthday.
"Who in holy hell are you?!"
He smirked and giggled. "Well, I was Eric's angel, but God's dot.prayers plan kinda fell in, so I have to double up on you kids."
Hyde blinked rapidly a few times, hoping it was just a mental fragment gone askrew.
"What do you expect to accomplish with all that? To have the cleanest eyes in the world?"
"Look man," Hyde raised his voice threateningly "Get out of here or I'll kick your ass like I do to Kelso's."
"Oh please. I'm an angel, I can do no harm." He plastered a fake smile on his face. Hyde glared. "Anyways, I'm here to ease your teen angst, drama- queen crap because-well, it's clogging up my angel visions."
Hyde bent down picked up the cot in both hands. "That's real nice, how about I take care of those for you." He angled his arms, preparing to assault.
The angel hung the sign back in it's respective spot, and hopped off the table. He looked at Hyde-guffawed, and spoke to him in a serious tone. "Don't need to get all violent. I haven't done anything..yet. Man, you're worse than Eric." With a wave of his hand, the cot felt like a ton of bricks in Hyde's hands. Hyde having no choice but to obey the call of gravity slumped to the ground and banging his knees painfully on the cement floor.
"Come on. Let's make this short." The angel sauntered over, and crossed his legs as he sat on the cot. "It was a big misunderstanding. If you really do love each other, than you both will get over this incident."
Hyde looked up, and sat back on his heels. "What would you know about Jackie? She's not going to take it anymore, she expects that I'm better than Kelso for god's sake."
"Isn't that saying a lot?"
"What do you mean? She's gone, finito, bye-bye, adios!"
"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why she doesn't want to get back with you is because she's really in love with you?"
"Hasn't she had an on-again, off-again love affair with me over 2 years?"
"It's different this time. She doesn't have Kelso to fall back on."
"Hey, I'm being compared to Kelso by her already. I can only take so much bull!"
"What, you can't handle your medicine like a man?"
Hyde swiped at the angel only to hit thin air.
"You teenagers are so one-track minded."
Hyde turned around to see the angel standing right behind him.
"What the he-"
"Hello!!! Angel here, special powers-duh!"
"Oh, so what are you going to do? Make me feel better?"
"Yeah. Sort of. But not against your will."
" My will? I will that this crap never started in the first place!" Hyde stormed out of his room and stopped when he saw the angel sitting on the couch watching Johnny Carson.
"You want to know what would have happened if you and Jackie never-"
"I would have never cheated on her! That's what would have happen." He walked over to the t.v. and switched it off.
"Oh, that and so much more. Come on, let's do a time warp, buddy." Hyde turned away annoyed and headed toward his room until he heard The Price is Right jingle.
"You really are an agent of the CIA?"
"Enough with the smartiness." Hyde slowly turned around.
Hyde turned around to find himself only a year younger sitting on the couch next to Jackie. The angel sitting at the far end also watching the tube. Past Hyde was slouched, and undergroomed. Jackie was perfect, and clean-her perfume wafting through the air. The Price is Right blaring on the t.v.. Just two teenagers bored out of their mind watching summer programs.
He turned to the angel. "How'd you do that?"
"For such a high I.Q., you seem to lack listening skills." He flared his nostrils. "Years of weed I suppose. Oh, the good ol' days."
Hyde rolled his eyes and fixated them on the brunette in front of him. Unmoving and silent.
"Another old lady? She can't even reach the wheel!!!"
"Now hold on." The angel snapped his fingers and everything froze in place. Even the old lady on the screen teetering on her tip-toes to spin the wheel. "We're going to make so that neither you would have the guts to kiss each other."
"Each other?" Hyde scoffed. "She.kissed me!"
The angel snorted. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that." He snapped his fingers again. Everything resumed it's activity. The old woman dropped her cane just as the past Jackie and Hyde looked at one another. Staring at one another for a few seconds before they both turned back to the set.
"And there you go. Nothing happened."
Hyde just felt dead inside as he watched the black curls lay on Jackie's shoulders. She sighed heavily, gave a short glance at the past Hyde and picked herself off the couch and left. Present day Hyde had followed her to the door and stopped when it slammed shut.
He turned and looked at his past self who casually flicked off the t.v. and walked back into his room with a slight sag in the shoulders.
"So," present day Hyde turned to the angel. "What happens now?"
"Well.you didn't see each other again until Donna and Kelso came back."
"You mean I spent a perfectly good summer not getting any?"
"Oh you got some all right." The angel looked up at the stairs as a skinny, attractive blonde made her way down the stairs, past the invisible men and into Hyde's room.
"Who's that?"
"Don't you remember? You called her the day before to ask her to come over. When she saw you and Jackie making out, she got pissed and went home."
Hyde could hear a few words being exchanged, and watched his door click shut.
"Not bad."
"Yeah.not bad.yet."
Hyde glanced at the angel. "What do you mean yet?"
The angel stood up and opened the sidedoor for him to go through. "Let's go forward two months or so, shall we?"
"You got a beard! You look so.old." Kelso commented cheerfully.
"Of course I look old, man. I partied more than you, worked more, drank more, and slept with way more chicks. I'm exhausted, man."
Present day Hyde smirked at his own comment. He and the angel were sitting on the porch chairs watching the whole scene.
Kelso, freshly tanned turned his attention to Jackie. "Hey baby."
Jackie scowled, "Don't baby me you man-whore."
"Look," Kelso put up a hand. "I know what I did was totally wrong. I'll understand that you'll never want to go back to me, but just to let you know-I'll always be there for you."
Jackie gave him a soft look. "Oh Michael! That's so sweet. If only I could say the same about you." Kelso looked puzzled.
"Well, you know. I got a girlfriend now." Kelso stuck his hands into his back pockets looking full of himself. As though he just scored a million points.
"Knowing you, you probably would've picked up another V.D. ridden skank." The group stared at her in shock. "That's okay. I'll get over it, with my new country club friends!"
"Please let it be an actual guy instead of those foreign waiters." Past Hyde crossed his arms.
Fez looked at him in anger. "Do you have something against them?" He asked in a dark manner. Hyde shrugged him off.
"No, he's real, he's rich, and absolutely hot. Everything you'll never be." Jackie shot back.
"Oh, who wants to be so full of themselves that they spontaneously combust?"
"Okay," Donna cut in. "How come nobody asked us if we got back together or not?"
Jackie turned to Donna with a smile on her face. "You got back together!! Oh wow, that's so romantic!!" She threw her arms over Donna. "This could be a new start for you. Now that you've been to California with all the glamour-you might actually not be so lumberjacky this year!"
"What the hell?" Hyde asked the angel. "Shouldn't she be all over Kelso?"
"Well, what you didn't know was that she did go to a country club. Met her new boyfriend there. Puffing in the back next to the garbage cans."
"A burn out?"
"No. The heir to the wallet company."
Hyde looked over at Jackie. "Better than me or Kelso."
The angel stood up and indicated to Hyde to do the same too. They exited the Foreman driveway and mini-reunion and headed down the suburb streets.
"So. Kelso and Jackie never got back together. I slept around. Fez got his girlfriend right?"
"Not really. See Kelso headed by himself to the DMV while you and Fez went cruising for chicks."
Hyde chuckled. "You mean he's going to be a virgin for another year?"
"Make that four."
A look of pity crossed his face. "Poor Fez."
"Yeah, poor Fez."
"So," Hyde shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked side by side down the middle of the road. "Do you have like some sort of name?"
"Oh yeah." The angel hesitated. "Ezekiel."
"What the hell's up with those weird sounding stuff?"
"My mom gave it to me."
"Whatever." Hyde looked up to see that they had ended up at the school. "What happens now?"
"We've fast-forwarded to the Valentine's Day Dance."
Hyde just noticed that it had turned dark, and there were cars starting to pull up to the gym. He saw Eric and Donna walk out of the Visa Cruiser cheerfully with Kelso, Annette, and a forlorn Fez.
A puzzled look crossed over Hyde's face. "Where's Jackie?"
The angel coughed and pointed to the far corner of the parking lot. Jackie was wearing a short pink dress, her hand attached to a tall, lean Oriental boy who was smoking a cigarette and drumming his fingers on her neck. A red trans-am standing behind them. She giggled and waved him off.
"Who's that?"
"Wallet boy."
"Oh." Hyde looked around the parking lot. " I didn't come did I?"
"No you didn't."
"So, what am I doing?"
"Singing."
Hyde's eyes lit up. "I'm in a band?"
"Not really."
The parking lot melted into a large house with ornate trimmings and delicate figurines. Carpet sprouted up, and a twinkling chandalier swung over his head. A familiar tune floated in from behind him. He whipped around and stared in shock as he saw himself rocking a baby on a red velvet chair, singing a lullaby to it.
How does it feel?
"Feels like crap, thank you very much."
No, to cheat.
"I have some pretty fucked up demons in my head."
Demons, Hyde?
"Get the hell away from me."
Oh, you see-that's a problem. I am you Hyde. Except, honest.
"And sarcastic."
Comes with the package dude.
"What do you want?"
Oh you know, talk.
"Talking to myself always helped."
Well, this is the first time you've tried it.
"How am I doing?"
Pretty crappy, but eh. You're getting there.
"This isn't real. The government planted a chip in my head while I was sleeping didn't they? I'm actually listening to Nixon right now aren't I?"
You never believed in that shit. You just made it up so that people wouldn't think it was you who broke up the Hyde family.
"What the hell is this crap? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"Fine."
Hyde jolted off his bed at the sound of the voice. A real voice. He whipped around to see a chubby, short thirtish man wearing white sitting on the table adjacent to his bed, fingering the HIGH ST. sign he had gotten for his 18th birthday.
"Who in holy hell are you?!"
He smirked and giggled. "Well, I was Eric's angel, but God's dot.prayers plan kinda fell in, so I have to double up on you kids."
Hyde blinked rapidly a few times, hoping it was just a mental fragment gone askrew.
"What do you expect to accomplish with all that? To have the cleanest eyes in the world?"
"Look man," Hyde raised his voice threateningly "Get out of here or I'll kick your ass like I do to Kelso's."
"Oh please. I'm an angel, I can do no harm." He plastered a fake smile on his face. Hyde glared. "Anyways, I'm here to ease your teen angst, drama- queen crap because-well, it's clogging up my angel visions."
Hyde bent down picked up the cot in both hands. "That's real nice, how about I take care of those for you." He angled his arms, preparing to assault.
The angel hung the sign back in it's respective spot, and hopped off the table. He looked at Hyde-guffawed, and spoke to him in a serious tone. "Don't need to get all violent. I haven't done anything..yet. Man, you're worse than Eric." With a wave of his hand, the cot felt like a ton of bricks in Hyde's hands. Hyde having no choice but to obey the call of gravity slumped to the ground and banging his knees painfully on the cement floor.
"Come on. Let's make this short." The angel sauntered over, and crossed his legs as he sat on the cot. "It was a big misunderstanding. If you really do love each other, than you both will get over this incident."
Hyde looked up, and sat back on his heels. "What would you know about Jackie? She's not going to take it anymore, she expects that I'm better than Kelso for god's sake."
"Isn't that saying a lot?"
"What do you mean? She's gone, finito, bye-bye, adios!"
"Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why she doesn't want to get back with you is because she's really in love with you?"
"Hasn't she had an on-again, off-again love affair with me over 2 years?"
"It's different this time. She doesn't have Kelso to fall back on."
"Hey, I'm being compared to Kelso by her already. I can only take so much bull!"
"What, you can't handle your medicine like a man?"
Hyde swiped at the angel only to hit thin air.
"You teenagers are so one-track minded."
Hyde turned around to see the angel standing right behind him.
"What the he-"
"Hello!!! Angel here, special powers-duh!"
"Oh, so what are you going to do? Make me feel better?"
"Yeah. Sort of. But not against your will."
" My will? I will that this crap never started in the first place!" Hyde stormed out of his room and stopped when he saw the angel sitting on the couch watching Johnny Carson.
"You want to know what would have happened if you and Jackie never-"
"I would have never cheated on her! That's what would have happen." He walked over to the t.v. and switched it off.
"Oh, that and so much more. Come on, let's do a time warp, buddy." Hyde turned away annoyed and headed toward his room until he heard The Price is Right jingle.
"You really are an agent of the CIA?"
"Enough with the smartiness." Hyde slowly turned around.
Hyde turned around to find himself only a year younger sitting on the couch next to Jackie. The angel sitting at the far end also watching the tube. Past Hyde was slouched, and undergroomed. Jackie was perfect, and clean-her perfume wafting through the air. The Price is Right blaring on the t.v.. Just two teenagers bored out of their mind watching summer programs.
He turned to the angel. "How'd you do that?"
"For such a high I.Q., you seem to lack listening skills." He flared his nostrils. "Years of weed I suppose. Oh, the good ol' days."
Hyde rolled his eyes and fixated them on the brunette in front of him. Unmoving and silent.
"Another old lady? She can't even reach the wheel!!!"
"Now hold on." The angel snapped his fingers and everything froze in place. Even the old lady on the screen teetering on her tip-toes to spin the wheel. "We're going to make so that neither you would have the guts to kiss each other."
"Each other?" Hyde scoffed. "She.kissed me!"
The angel snorted. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that." He snapped his fingers again. Everything resumed it's activity. The old woman dropped her cane just as the past Jackie and Hyde looked at one another. Staring at one another for a few seconds before they both turned back to the set.
"And there you go. Nothing happened."
Hyde just felt dead inside as he watched the black curls lay on Jackie's shoulders. She sighed heavily, gave a short glance at the past Hyde and picked herself off the couch and left. Present day Hyde had followed her to the door and stopped when it slammed shut.
He turned and looked at his past self who casually flicked off the t.v. and walked back into his room with a slight sag in the shoulders.
"So," present day Hyde turned to the angel. "What happens now?"
"Well.you didn't see each other again until Donna and Kelso came back."
"You mean I spent a perfectly good summer not getting any?"
"Oh you got some all right." The angel looked up at the stairs as a skinny, attractive blonde made her way down the stairs, past the invisible men and into Hyde's room.
"Who's that?"
"Don't you remember? You called her the day before to ask her to come over. When she saw you and Jackie making out, she got pissed and went home."
Hyde could hear a few words being exchanged, and watched his door click shut.
"Not bad."
"Yeah.not bad.yet."
Hyde glanced at the angel. "What do you mean yet?"
The angel stood up and opened the sidedoor for him to go through. "Let's go forward two months or so, shall we?"
"You got a beard! You look so.old." Kelso commented cheerfully.
"Of course I look old, man. I partied more than you, worked more, drank more, and slept with way more chicks. I'm exhausted, man."
Present day Hyde smirked at his own comment. He and the angel were sitting on the porch chairs watching the whole scene.
Kelso, freshly tanned turned his attention to Jackie. "Hey baby."
Jackie scowled, "Don't baby me you man-whore."
"Look," Kelso put up a hand. "I know what I did was totally wrong. I'll understand that you'll never want to go back to me, but just to let you know-I'll always be there for you."
Jackie gave him a soft look. "Oh Michael! That's so sweet. If only I could say the same about you." Kelso looked puzzled.
"Well, you know. I got a girlfriend now." Kelso stuck his hands into his back pockets looking full of himself. As though he just scored a million points.
"Knowing you, you probably would've picked up another V.D. ridden skank." The group stared at her in shock. "That's okay. I'll get over it, with my new country club friends!"
"Please let it be an actual guy instead of those foreign waiters." Past Hyde crossed his arms.
Fez looked at him in anger. "Do you have something against them?" He asked in a dark manner. Hyde shrugged him off.
"No, he's real, he's rich, and absolutely hot. Everything you'll never be." Jackie shot back.
"Oh, who wants to be so full of themselves that they spontaneously combust?"
"Okay," Donna cut in. "How come nobody asked us if we got back together or not?"
Jackie turned to Donna with a smile on her face. "You got back together!! Oh wow, that's so romantic!!" She threw her arms over Donna. "This could be a new start for you. Now that you've been to California with all the glamour-you might actually not be so lumberjacky this year!"
"What the hell?" Hyde asked the angel. "Shouldn't she be all over Kelso?"
"Well, what you didn't know was that she did go to a country club. Met her new boyfriend there. Puffing in the back next to the garbage cans."
"A burn out?"
"No. The heir to the wallet company."
Hyde looked over at Jackie. "Better than me or Kelso."
The angel stood up and indicated to Hyde to do the same too. They exited the Foreman driveway and mini-reunion and headed down the suburb streets.
"So. Kelso and Jackie never got back together. I slept around. Fez got his girlfriend right?"
"Not really. See Kelso headed by himself to the DMV while you and Fez went cruising for chicks."
Hyde chuckled. "You mean he's going to be a virgin for another year?"
"Make that four."
A look of pity crossed his face. "Poor Fez."
"Yeah, poor Fez."
"So," Hyde shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked side by side down the middle of the road. "Do you have like some sort of name?"
"Oh yeah." The angel hesitated. "Ezekiel."
"What the hell's up with those weird sounding stuff?"
"My mom gave it to me."
"Whatever." Hyde looked up to see that they had ended up at the school. "What happens now?"
"We've fast-forwarded to the Valentine's Day Dance."
Hyde just noticed that it had turned dark, and there were cars starting to pull up to the gym. He saw Eric and Donna walk out of the Visa Cruiser cheerfully with Kelso, Annette, and a forlorn Fez.
A puzzled look crossed over Hyde's face. "Where's Jackie?"
The angel coughed and pointed to the far corner of the parking lot. Jackie was wearing a short pink dress, her hand attached to a tall, lean Oriental boy who was smoking a cigarette and drumming his fingers on her neck. A red trans-am standing behind them. She giggled and waved him off.
"Who's that?"
"Wallet boy."
"Oh." Hyde looked around the parking lot. " I didn't come did I?"
"No you didn't."
"So, what am I doing?"
"Singing."
Hyde's eyes lit up. "I'm in a band?"
"Not really."
The parking lot melted into a large house with ornate trimmings and delicate figurines. Carpet sprouted up, and a twinkling chandalier swung over his head. A familiar tune floated in from behind him. He whipped around and stared in shock as he saw himself rocking a baby on a red velvet chair, singing a lullaby to it.