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Chapter 23: Fire, Ice and Crystal Tears

Éowyn sat in shock for some time. She was angry and disappointed with the answer he had given her. He refused to let her leave; he had kept her prisoner here. She did not want that. She longed for freedom for herself, as she always had. He did not see that.

All her life, she had been trapped, like an animal, never free to make her own decisions of act as she chose. She would always be a child to them, her brother and Aragorn, never seen for who she was, but what she was, a girl.

She despised that word. She was no longer a girl, but a woman. One capable of more than simply what was expected of her. She had been raised along side her male counterparts and proved herself equal, if not better than all.

Since the death of her parents, she had been treated as a child, raised to care for her people, not to defend them, as she wished. Although she was the shieldmaiden of her people, she did not feel the freedom of that roll. She had been protected by her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, but she longed for freedom, the one thing they did not allow her. Her defeat of the Witch-King had not provided the results she had hoped for, but rather the opposite.

Aragorn and Éomer had become more protective of her, which was the last thing she wanted. She had not seized the glory she wished for, only criticism for disobeying orders.

            She was disappointed with Aragorn's response to her question. She had professed her love for him, but he did not return it, and did not wish to. She had given him her heart, fragile as it was, but he would not give his heart to her.

Her heart now lay broken beside her sword. Crystal tears of the greatest grief fell from her eyes and shattered like her heart. Nothing could heal the grave wound she now felt. None could replace his memory or change the emotions she had felt when he was near. He would always be her first love. Nothing could destroy that for her.

            The flowers around her had sprung forth for the coming of spring, but she was still closed to the sunlight, icy as the winter just past, still clinging to the coldness. A lily; beautiful, she was, pale and elegant, but firm and cold as ice.

This was Éowyn as she sat in the Houses of Healing; she had become the isolated woman she had once been, in a time before Aragorn. But there was too, a fire within her, an anger. She felt it.

            Faramir hurried back to the gardens to see Éowyn. As he came through the entrance, he saw her, hunched over, seated on a bench beside a bed of red roses. Her face was buried in her hands, and a tear fall to the grass beneath her. So sad it was, to see a lady of her rank and superior beauty, to cry. He felt himself cry out to her, offering her comfort in her troubled state.

"Éowyn," he ventured, tentatively. "Why do you weep, dear lady?"

Éowyn brushed the tears from her eyes with one hand and stared up at him.

"I do not weep, sire," she said defensively. "I was merely thinking. A Lady of Rohan is not known to shed a tear for anything."

"Which is why it is more grievous for one who does," replied Faramir, with a serious expression on his face. "What ails you, lady? You are not able to fool me that easily."

"It is nothing to be concerned with, a childish worry." She laughed nervously.

"It cannot be as small as that to cause the White Lady of Rohan to weep," he said, his face still rigid.

"It is not for you to question a Lady of Rohan," she retorted, glaring at him. "It is my concern, not yours." She stood up hastily and left the gardens, heading for her room.

Faramir stared after her. He was taken aback by her petulance and sensitivity about her troubles. She was a very independent woman, headstrong, as he had seen from her injuries in battle, and cold, in a way. She desired no pity or concern from any. She was cold towards those she distrusted or those who would be most likely to hurt her pride or her fragile heart.

Éowyn stormed into her room. She was furious. She flung herself down onto her bed and sat still fuming violently. How dare he? How dare he rejected her with so pitiful a reason? Yes, she was young, she would not deny that, but she was no child in the world.

She was not helpless and in need of protection and guardianship. She did not want that. She wanted to do what she willed and go where she wished. She had been kept behind bars for so long, caged, like an animal or a prisoner within the confines of her own city. Never was she aloud to leave the palace unless with an armed escort.

She had despised being treated as though she were a fragile china doll. She had hated being patronised and people behaving as though she couldn't defend or look after herself. And now Aragorn, the one person she hoped would consider her an equal and allow her that freedom, had humiliated her in his rejection. She had never before felt more angry or ashamed of herself. 

A knock at the door broke her line of thought. She breathed in deeply so as to appear calm.

"Lady Éowyn?"  a voice sounded from outside the door. It was Gandalf.

"Come in, Gandalf," she said, standing up from her position.

"You are grieved, I sense it. There is, too, great anger."

Éowyn nodded.

"I will not deny it to you, Gandalf."

Gandalf's face remained solemn.

"I know you have suffered much loss these past few days," he said. "But in this time of peril, there is need of strength. We must stand strong together and show no vulnerability."

"I understand, Gandalf," replied Éowyn. "But more grieves me than death."

"I know of what you speak," said Gandalf. "Fear not, Éowyn. He has yet to find his path. There is much to accomplish. Sauron knows of his presence. He must now prepare for a course of action against Mordor and time is short."

"I shall wait, then."

"Do not despair. His destiny shall be revealed, and he will follow it. He must, he sees that now."

"May I leave the Houses of Healing, yet, Gandalf?" she asked. "I dislike being restrained here, beautiful as it is. I feel as though I am a prisoner."

"It is the wish of your brother and Aragorn that you remain here for your own safety," answered Gandalf. "They are afraid that you will be injured more gravely than before if you go to battle and do not wish to see you so, nor do I. It was Aragorn's particular request that you stay here."

Éowyn sighed softly, she knew why Aragorn had requested her to stay here, but it angered her inside. She needed time to think, alone, and undisturbed.

"I believe I am in need of solitude, Gandalf," said Éowyn. "Thank you for your words of wisdom. They were beneficial, as always."

"I shall leave you now, then," said Gandalf and he walked towards the door, stopping just as he reached it.

"Give it time, Éowyn," he finished. "He will come for you." And with that, he left.

Éowyn sat on her bed for a time, then, standing up, she left her room.