Dante entered the bedroom and glanced around, suspiciously.
"what's going on here...?" he cried and took out alastor.
"Ooh...a mirror! Now I can finally fix my hair! this has been driving me
crazy! all that fighting really makes my hair a mess!"
He took out a comb and began styling his hair in front of the mirror.
Suddenly the mirror shimmers!
"Hey! that mirror just shimmerd!" Dante exclaimed.
"What's going on here...?"
It shimmered again and out of curiosity Dante poked his
fingered threw. His hand went cold.
"wow, thats freaky!"
He placed his comb in his coat pocket and cleared his throat.
He looked around and frowned at his reflection.
Then, very carefully, Dante stepped threw the shimmering mirror!
He ended up underwater where there were several marrionettes.
"What the-? How can the puppet-thingys swim??"
Dante swam to the top of the water, in need of some air.
He surfaced only to have a puppet climb on top of him
and push him down.
"Nooo!" the marrionett screached, "I can't swim! Help me!
What a cruel cruel cruel cruel---"
at that moment Dante pushed the puppet down and did a double jump
onto the land.
"Wheew! That was hella close!" He said to himself,
"I coulda drowneded!" Dante looked around the cave where he
had ended up. There was a broken ship behind him
and little glowing crystals in front.
"oooh prettys!" Dante cried and ran over to them.
He touched one and instantly a black almost shadow being
with a glowy thing in his chest was on him.
"eek!" Dante cried and stepped back, "whhhaaat is it??"
The shadow being took a swipe at him and Dante screached again.
"Here!" Dante heard a voice coming from the ledge off to his left,
"Use this!!"
Something hard hit Dante's head.
He rubbed the spot and looked around to see what it was.
A slingshot lay on the ground at his feet.
"Trish?" Dante mumbled "trish is that you???!!"
He grabbed the slingshot, "Damn! Out of ammo!"
The shadow being bent down and picked up a handful of rocks,
he then handed them to Dante, "here you go"
Dante took them, "Why thank you!"
The Shadow being slashed at him again.
"Eeek!" Dante aimed the slingshot, pulled back and fired!
"Owiess!!!!" the Shadow being hissed and ran off.
"Wow, that was lucky!" Dante exclaimed.
He tucked his new weapon into his coat pocket and started walking.
"Riiiders on the sttooooormmm!" He sang, "intoooo this house we're booorn!"
"Into this world we're thrown" sang back a deeper voice which seemed to be coming
from a nearby puddle. "Girl ya gotta love your maaaan!"
It sang in a deep soprano voice.
Dante walked cautiously to the puddle, "hulloooo?"
"Dante....." The voice said,"You are...Worthy!"
Dante clapped, "Yay! Weawwy??"
"Weawwy" the voice answered.
"Weeeeaaaawwwwyyyy???" Dante asked getting more and more excited
"Weawwwyy!!!!!!!!"
"Weawwy?" Dante danced around
"Yes!" The voice cried," weawwy, dammit!"
"Hooray!"
"Hooway indeed, fair Dante" The voice said,"I am your new
god."
"Wow, that's pretty cool!" Dante said," who are you?"
"Your new god." the voice answered
"yeahh...but...who Are you?" Dante said suspiciously
"You are..reborn." The voice said in a familier way
"What?" Dante scratched his head
"You must do me one task." said the voice
"ok look," Dante said, "I don't give head to just ANYONE, ya know!"
"No no!" the voice cried, "Not that!!"
"Oh,ok, then what?"
"You must..."the voice continued," Kill DAXTER!!"
"Who?" dante asked, puzzled.
"You will find him...in the Land Of Hyrule!"
"The Land Of Hyrule?" Dante asked
"Yes, yes!" The voice said, "The Land Of Hyrule!"
"oh,ok..." Dante said pleased with himself, "Wheres that?"
"It is...erm....Thataway!"
"I can't see where you're pointing, mister!" Dante stood with his
hands on his hips.
"I know, that's because you were destroyed and now you are...."
"Good-looking?" Dante asked.
"No! Gods no!!!"
Dante pouted, "but but but!"
"Just go!! Goddammit!!" The voice croaked
"Fiiiiine!" said Dante and off he went in search of Daxter
and the Land Of Hyrule!
Dante saw many things as he made his way out of the castle...
He came to what seemed to be a prison room.
It had a few cells and two pairs of steps, one pair of steps
led up to a higher platform which had a block that was going up and down
trying to smash Dante!! Dante was scared!
He quickly ran past it and grabbed a letter he saw lying on the floor.
He studied the letter..."Hummm it looks like a page torn out of a Pent-house!!"
He looked at it up and down, "This Red-haired girl must be what I'm after!"
He tucked the page into his coat pocket and then ran past the smashy thing again.
There was a noise...a loud crash crash crash noise.
It was coming from the cell that was next to him.
Crash Crash Crash!
Dante snuck over to the door being very sneaky indeed.
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Hellloooooo?" Dante called
"Fooo fo fot!" the thing in the cell called.
"Huh?"
"Foooo fo fottt!!!!!!" Thing called louder
Dante walked to the front of the cell, still being sneaky, and saw!
A Zombie!! This particular zombie was crashing a pan on the wall.
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Foo fo fot!" the zombie said again, "Foo fo fot!!"
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Heyyy!" Dante said, "I know THAT song!"
Dante tapped his foot to the hot-hot beat!
Thump, thump, thump thump!
"What a HAWT beat!" said a voice from the *other* cell next to the zombie.
"Yeah, it is isn't it!?" Dante said
"Yowza! That beat is on FIRE!" The other cellmate called
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Hooooohawww!!!!"
"Wow, mister, dont cum in your pants!" Dante said
"uhh" agreed the zombie
"I ain't wearin any!!" said the second cellmate
Dante made like he would sick up, "Ewww!!!!"
"Hoopla!!" called the no-pants-wearin-fool.
"Oooh Ahh" Mimicked tho zombie
"Ok, whatever, I have a job to do!" Dante said and started to leave
"You're after Daxter...arent you?" said the no-pants guy
"What do you know about Daxter??" Dante turned around
"I know where he is... I used to live there as well." the voice said
"who are you?" Dante asked
"ooh aww ooo?" asked the zombie
"I am...." The voice said, "DARUNIA! The bestest Goron there ever was!"
The zombie titered " uhh- ooon- uh! eh eh eh eh!"
"Shup fool!" yelled Darunia.
"What do you know about Daxter??" Dante asked
"Uh, I know where he lives....?" Darunia said
"uhhh eh eh" the zombie said
"annnd?" Dante persisted
"I know what you need to get him!" darunia exclaimed
"oot oot oot!" the zombie said
"Shut up zombie!" Dante and Darunia yelled
"Now," Dante said after a moment, "What do you know about daxter?"
"Are you serious?" Darunia asked, "I mean, I just told you..."
"Oh..." Dante said feeling stupid, "What do I need to get him though?"
"A....um...bagel!?" Darunia said- making things up
"a aaggull!" the zombie said "eeee!"
"Why a bagel?" Dante asked
"Cuz." Said Darunia, "Now, are you going to let me out?"
"No." Dante said walking away, "Why would I?"
"cuz!!!" Darunia yelled, "Damn you Dante!! DAMN YOOOOO!!!"
"ammmm oooooo! aaannnnttt-ayyyy!"
Dante paused, "How do you know my name??"
Darunia laughed real clown like -huh huh huh!
"uh uh uh uh!" laughed zombie
"You're wearing a name tag!" Darunia howled
"huh?" Dante looked down....there was a sticker right above his heart on his coat
it read 'Hello! My name is Dante!' and there was a blue smiley face next to his name (Dante)
"So I am..." said Dante, a blush creeping onto his face.
He turned and ran out the door.
In this room there was a sewer..and really big spiders!
"huh!" Dante cried as he took out his sword.
He continued to slash the spdiers into itty bitty bits.
"That'll teach you to...uh...stand there and...leave me alone!"
Dante walked off with a smile on his face.
He came to a small platform which alowd him some relief from
the smelly waters. There was a ladder on this platform, he climbed
up and entered a small room where some creepy music played.
Dante looked about the room, a large chest sat in the corner...
and locker which had what apeared to be an gaids spray
and a cot with....a MAN!!!
It had been a while since Dante had seen a MAN!
He rushed over to the wounded soul.
"uhh...uhhh" said the man
"Heya, are you ok?" Dante asked
"Yes....I think so....who are you?" asked the man
"I am Dante! The Super Sexxxy demon-devil-mortal WARRIOR!"
"Oh..." said the man," i'm Leon....Leon S. Kennedy!"
"It's nice to meet you." Dante smiled
"yes..." Leon smiled back, "It's nice meeting you too!"
"Sooo...what happened to you?" Dante asked looking
at Leon's bloody bandage.
"Oh this?" Leon asked and gestured to his arm
"YeahZ!" Dante said
"This is just for show and all...ya know?" Leon said and giggled
"Oh wow! I like you!" Dante said
Leon smiled, "I like you to too!"
"Huh?" Dante said confused
"Nevermind, LOL" Leon giggled
"Oh ok?" Dante tittered.
"So now what? what are you doing here?" Leon asked
"Oh..I have to go kill someone...how bouts you?" Dante said
"I'm just trying to get out of here...I've been lost for several minutes!!" Leon exclaimed
"Oh wow! I feel bad for you!" Dante pushed out his bottom lip.
"Yeah I think you should....but I have to go!" Leon said and stood up
"Ok, ok..." Dante said
"here," Leon said holding out his hand to Dante, "take this so
we can stay in contact in the future!"
Dante bent down and looked at his hand, "Heyy, there's nothing here!"
Leon raised the hand to his face, "Huh? oh welll...then what's
this...." he put his hand to Dante's ear, "Behind your EAR!?"
He pulled out a small black radio and handed it to Dante.
"Oh wow! How did you do that Leon S Kennedy??" Dante said
obviously thrilled.
"oh...I'm magic!" Leon exclaimed
"hee hee!" Dante snorted
"Well, take this and I'll leave you now!" Leon yelled
"Okies..bye bye" Dante said as Leon ran off and tripped down the ladder.
Dante went over to the chest and looked inside.
"Oooh! A machine gun! not that I don't love my handguns-
EBONY & IVORY!!" He exclaimed
"Oh, wait...it's not even infinite! poo poo." Dante closed the chest and walked
over to the lockers, "Oops, I don't want gaids!"
He walked over to the door and studied the handle...taking near 10 minutes before
he actually opened it and stepped out.
He was now in a hall-way. He looked around, took a step forward
and then the radio that Leon gave him started making a buzzing noise.
"This must need new batterys...hummm." Dante said to himself.
He turned down into another hallway where at the end a metal gate blocked
off the other room. Dante gazed into this room.
He saw a washing machine which was on and making a loud whrr whrr whrr
noise. "what's going on here?" Dante questioned himself.
"Gee, I dont know!" He answered himself.
Dante looked closer the room was very misty and it was
hard to see much past the machine.
"Hello?" he called
He looked around...and saw a pair of legs that were walking
towards him.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump!
It was dragging something behind it....
Dante bent down and looked...he saw the feet were dirty and white...
"Prolly really clammy too!" he said to himself, "yes."
The feet were getting close enough so he could see the rest of
the body. It looked orange. It was pointed at the top.
Thump. Thump. Thump. went the feet
Scratch scratch scratch. went the thing it was dragging.
Dante stood up, feeling afraid.
"Helloo?" he called
No answer.
Thump, scratch, thump scratch.
Dante jumped back as it got closer.
He took out his sword...Alastor....
The thing came up to the gate and then Dante could clearly see
what was on him....
it was,
"an orange funny cone?"
"rrrrrrr!" went the orang thing
"Why do you have that on? and where'd you get it?" Dante asked
"Fellllll....doowwwwnnnn...ugh." replied the thing.
"I bet it'd come off pretty easy...and what is that you're dragging?"
Dante looked and saw that the thing had a chain attached to his arm,
and attached to the chain was a shopping cart.
"This is hella weird!" He said
"Yourrrrrr...telllinggg......meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!" the orange thing yelled
"eeek!!" Dante turned and ran
"Waaaiiittt!!! ......pleeease! get this off...of...my head!!"
Dante plugged his ears with his fingers, "neener neener neener!
not listening! not listening!"
"nooooo!!!" cried the thing
Dante ran down another hallway, and this time there was a door at the end.
He went in....
There were computers everywhere and a small walk-space.
He heard a click, click click...
Dante walked into the open space only to find....
"Leon!"
Leon turned around from the computer he had been typing on.
He squinted, and then walked forward so he was next to Dante,
"it's good to see you're still among the living!"
Dante put his hands behind his back and twirled on one foot,
"I missed you!!"
Leon blushed, "awww!"
Dante stood like he usually did then, "Whatcha doooo in?"
"I sent a letter to my- uh- friend." Leon turned to the left and looked at the compy.
"Can I see?" Dante inquired and stepped forward
"No!" Leon yelled and smashed the computer.
Dante's jaw dropped, "well geez if ya didnt want me to see
all you had to do was say so!"
Leon blushed again," uhh..."
Dante walked past Leon, "I guess I have to go...will you
call me sometime?"
Leon brightend, "Sure!"
"Ok!" Dante turned and waved then walked out the other door.
Once on the other side he sighed and combed his hair quickly.
Dante walked a little longer until he came to a train.
"This will take me to Hyrule! well...prolly!" Dante thought.
He walked in and went to the front only to find that it was missing
the key that it needed to start!
"Dammit!" Dante yelled," Now I need to find that key..."
Dante walked out of the train....
Dante looked around the train station. There was the door
he had come in from and two others.
He chose the middle door and started towards it when somthing tripped
him. "Oof!" he cried
He lay on the ground and watched as the air rippled and turned to a greenish colour.
"What's going on here?" He said to himself
"Hey!" cried the ripple object
Dante looked it up and down, it was a greenish shape of a person,
it rippled every now then and when Dante looked up to where
the head was he saw white locks of hair.
"Hey!" the white haired thing said, "are you ok?"
Dante got up, still staring at the thing," Raiden?? Is that you????"
The rippled object turned into a man, "Dante? I thought that...you were in hell??"
"Nooopers! not anymore! I got out...what are you doing here?" Dante said
Raiden paused, "Secretial - I mean..Secret...Secret stuff."
Raiden looked At Dante...o..O..("I wanna hold you in my arms!")
Dante looked at Raiden....o..O..("My gods he looks like a woman!")
Dante nodded and said,"Of course...you could never tell me anything..could you?"
Raiden looked Dante in the eye...o...O...("That's so cute I can hardley bare it!")
Then Raiden turned, "Don't bring up Snake again..."
Dante laughed, "You already did! So obviously you were the one
who was thinking about him!"
Raiden looked puzzeled.....o...O...("Exactly!")
"That's not true and you know it Dante!"
Dante looked smug, "Well, I guess this is why we didn't last very long...
You could never tell me things when I was oh-so honest with you!"
Raiden looked sad, "Dante....."
"No no!" Dante interupted, "I told you about Trish! You never mentioned Snake!"
"Or Rose..." Raiden looked at the floor, "I never told you about her..."
"Rose? rose now?" Dante snarled, "Two wasn't enough for you, eh?
You had to go after someone else...hoping for a Foursome??"
"Dante!" Raiden looked at him in the eyes, "That wasn't what I wanted and you
know it! I ...I loved you!"
Dante turned, "Lies...."
"No! I would never lie to you Dante! Never!"
Dante laughed, "Like it matters now...I'm....I found someone else..."
"What? who?" Raiden said, anger buliding inside of him.
"That doesnt matter either..." Dante turned away," I'm leaving this place...I'm leaving
you....for good. This time."
Tears welled in the corners of Raiden's eyes, "But..no Dante...you can't!
I need you!"
Dante took a gentle hand to Raiden's eyes and wiped his tears, "Goodbye..."
He pulled his hand back to his side, "...Raiden...."
Raiden cried and stood where Dante had left him looking pathetic.
Dante walked threw the middle door as he had planned.
As soon as he entered the room the smell of marijuana
hit him.
"Hellooooo?" He called as he walked further in.
"Yeah!" answered a woman, "We're back heeeerrre!"
There was a seperate room in here! Dante walked into it...
He saw what looked like a robot sitting down next to a blonde haired chic.
"Hi?" Dante said
"Shhiiiiikiiiiiii zoku zaayy kuuu!" The robot yelled and stood up.
"Dont mind him," said the blonde as she took a hit off the bomber joint
they were sharing, "That's Yoshimitsu...a real freak if you ask me..."
"Tenmo Ki ki!" Yoshimitsu said
"Ohh k...and who are you?" Dante asked
"Oh," she stood up and stuck out her hand, "I'm Nina Williams.
Nice to meet you."
"Yeah," Dante said shaking her hand, "Nice to meet you too..."
Nina gave the roach to Yoshimitsu who took several deep drags and didn't
bother returning it to Nina.
Dante stood and flexed his arms," Soo what are yuns doin here?"
Nina laughed, "Yuns? You're an asshole...but to answer your question...
we're getting wasted, and we're having a party!"
Dante looked around, "A party? When?"
"Now...this is our party." Nina said and gestured around the dull room.
"Ohh riiiight..." Dante said and took a step back
"Azzabee!!!" Yoshimitsu started walking backwards.
"Stop it Yoshi! Dammit...now where did my joint go..?" Nina started looking around,
"Dammit Yoshimitsu!! Go make some eggs or somthing..."
"Shiki soku zay kuu!!" Yoshi cried
Dante stood uncomfortabley, "umm yeah..well see I have a mission I have to.."
"Oh a mission? Like what type?" Nina sat down cross-legged looking anxious
"Oh..you know...this and that....secretial stuff..." Dante said
Nina laughed again and this time Yoshimitsu joined her.
"You're funny, " she said, "Do you wanna smoke?"
"no..actually I need to get going....bye?" Dante turned and walked back out the way
he came as Nina and Yoshimitsu laughed and laughed and laughed.
Dante looked around -- no sign of Raiden..
"good.." he muttered to himself.
He walked to the other door. There was no smell of pot or any stoners.
"good..." he said again.
"alright!" he said once for good measure...
There was another gate thing in this room.
"Wowzers! that's just like the one where that poor homeless man
was!" He bent down next to it and...
there was a key on the other side!
A little girls voice came shreiking to his ears,
"That's MYYYYY KEEYYYYY!!"
footsteps, running...
Dante grabbed the key just as the little girl came up to the grate.
He pocketed it, "Haha ha ha ha haa! I got the key now!"
The girl leaned on the gate and moved her arm a bit, "But that's my key!
and you should be punished!" her eyes blue eyes flashed a different shade of blue.
Dante stuck out his tongue and puleld out the keys wiagging them back and forth.
The gate opened and the little girl walked up to him and kneed him in the groin.
She grabbed the keys and ran down where she had come from.
"Heyy!!" Dante said and rubbed his crotch.
After a moment he was capable of walking and started after her.
"Litttlllleeee giiiiiiiiiirrrlllllll!" he called.
He walked into the only door and saw a trail of blood.
"What's going on here...?" he said to himself
"RAHHHHH!!!"
"what...was that?" he asked to no one in particular
A shrill scream came from the closet door.
Dante walked up to it...he heard heavy breathing....
He paused then suddenly and violently swung open the door.
The Nemesis stood there with the girl in his arms -- dead.
"Raahhhh!!!!" The monster cried, "starsss!"
He ran out of the closet and out the door leaving Dante with the dead little girl body.
"awww..... see what happens when you take Mr. Dante's keys?"
Dante found the keys pressed tightly in her hand, he took them and walked back out to
the train.
He pulled out his radio (the one from Leon) and began to press buttons.
"Hello! Hello!" he called into it
"Dante?" Leon's voice came through, "Is that you?"
"Heya!" Dante said, "I'm going to leave...do you want to come with me?"
Leon paused, "Where are you?"
"I'm at the train," dante said, " Can you make it here now?"
"Yeah...I'll be there as fast as I can!"
"Okies! Over and out!" Dante sighed and walked over to the train.
He climbed on and went to the front.
Suddenly!
Boom! Thump!
"Eee gads! There's somthing on the roof!"
Dante pulled out Alastor and walked out...
He looked on the roof...there was nothing....
Satisfied, he walked back in and waited.
No more noises.
Leon came in about five minutes later.
"It's good to see you're still among the living!" he told Dante
"Yeah!" dante smiled, "You too!"
Leon took the keys and started the train...
"I think I can handle this thing...you can go in the back and rest up!"
Leon told Dante
"You sure?" Dante said
"Positive" Leon smiled," I've done it before."
"okies!" Dante walked to the other compartments
"Holy shit!" he said to himself as he looked at the seats, "Is that a duck?"
"Why yes I am." said the duck-man,"I'm also a docter!"
"Oh wow...but you can't be on this train." Dante said
"Well why not?" asked the duck
"This is a people train! You're a duck...you can't be on a people train!" exclaimed Dante
"What are you gonna do about it??" demanded Mr Duck
Thump! Crash! Bump!
Leon burst threw the door, "Dante! I think that William Birkin is
on the roof!!"
"Who?" asked Dante
"Nevermind....you have to go out and stop him!" said Leon
"Why me?" asked Dante, "Why not the Duck Man??"
"i'm not going out!" cried the duck man
"well then you have to Dante!" said Leon
Dante sighed as Leon walked back to the front of the train.
Dante walked outside and looked at the roof...
A large mutant was dancing ontop!
"EEEKK!!!" Dante ran back in the train
"well," said the duck man docter, "What was it?"
"uhhh..." Dante thought for a minute, "It was a big puddle with bread crumbs in it..."
"Ohhh!! Really?? yaay!" Cried the duck man
"Yeah...go out and see for yourself! tee hee!" Dante giggled as
the Duck Man walked out.
Dante smirked and locked the door, "Leon! yoohoo!"
"What?" Leon yelled back
"Go ahead and leave, it was nothing!"
"Oh okies!" and the train started moving as the Duck man
started screaming. Dante sat down
and ate an apple, blood splashed onto the window next to him.
When they stopped Leon walked back to find Dante asleep.
He poked him and messed with his hair, touching his soft lips.
He looked from Dante's closed sleepy little eyes to his full lips,
Leon leaned in close to his face...Dante moaned in his sleep
and turned. Leon sighed and walked off to the other side of the train.
Dante opened his eyes. He didn't know where he was at first.
He saw Leon sitting across from him reading a 'Details' magazine.
"Heyy sleepy head!" Leon said and put the book down
"Hello...." Dante yawned, "Where are we?"
Leon gestured to the window, "Hyrule. isn't that where
you wanted to go?"
Dante sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Yes! yes it was!" he looked
out the window and saw a beautiful green pasture stretched out in front of him.
"Oh...wow..." he whispered
Leon got up and walked over to him, "Isn't it pretty?"
He put his arm on Dante's shoulder, nervous that Dante might not allow him to,
but he took Leon's hand in his own and carresed it as they both
looked out the window. Dante looked up at Leon and smiled, Leon smiled back.
"I guess we should get a move on....I have to find Daxter still!"
Leon gave Dante's hand a final squeeze and took his arm back, "Yeah, I came here
to find someone too...I didn't get a chance to tell you."
Dante raised an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? who?"
"RikiMaru....he's a stealth assasin."
Dante looked down, "Oh, I see..."
Leon cleared his throat, " but we're just friends...he's not my type."
"Why's that?" Dante asked
"Well, I don't usually date guys who are Chinese." Leon said
"Well...how about...half devil guys?" Dante said
Leon laughed, "I've only ever known one...Kazuya...and we were never
very serious...."
Dante laughed as well.
"Ok," Leon said stepping back, "You still have the radio I gave you...let's
split up and we'll meet back here!"
"Alright!" said Dante as he hurried out the door.
Dante came to a large castle, he crossed the draw-bridge and entered it.
There was a like market area, with lots of people shopping and dancing
and having a good old time!
He walked over to a young dancing couple, "excuse me, do you know a Daxter?"
"How rude!" exclaimed the woman
"Indeed! We're trying to dance and this fiend comes barging over to us!"
Suddenly the couple had stopped dancing.
The Girl shrieked, "Surrendor Now Or Prepare for Trouble!"
The Boy Yelled, "Yeah! We'll get you honky!"
Dante stepped back, "Oopsies!"
he ran away and hit some fat chic.
"oof!"
The fat lady yelled, "Devil! Leave my Poopy alone! nooo!"
"Your..poopy?" Dante looked around and saw a little brown puppy
"oh! I know! I had a kitty who my ex would call his Poopy! hee hee!"
The fat lady nodded, "Ah, I see...youlike aminals?"
"anals?" Dante asked
The fat lady cleared her throat, "no...aminals..."
"Ohhh, okies!" dante said, "I like them too!"
The fat chic looked at the brown doggy, "but...my poopy wasn't brown...
and he wasn't as long as he is now either! That isn't my poopy!"
The Fat chic screamed.
Dante patted her shoulder and she pushed him away yelling ,"no no no!"
Dante walked over to her 'poopy.'
"Bark, Bark, bark!" said the doggy
Dante bent down and looked closer at the dog...
"Hey!" He said, "You're a weasel! not a dog!!"
"Hey hey hey! who are you callin a weasel?!" asked the dog thing
"Eee!" dante cried, "What are you??"
The Poopy stood up on his hind legs, "I am...
DAXTER!"
Dante's jaw dropped, "You're Daxter?"
Daxter nodded, "The one and only!" he giggled.
"Wowsers!" Dante said, "You're small!"
Daxter gave him a dirty look, "Small but nifty!"
Dante tittered.
"sooo," said Daxter, "Whatdya want?"
Dante rubbed his chin, "Well...I was sort of, kinda sent to find you."
Daxter's little fuzzy ears perked up at this, "What? really? why??"
"I'm s'posed to kill you." Dante said all too subtley...
"WHAAAAT???" Daxter jumped and stepepd back, "WHY???!!!"
Dante scratched his head, "Ida know."
"JJJJJAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!" Daxter yelled, "HEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!"
People turned and stared at the screaching weasel.
One member of the crowd came forward, he had green hair and a green little beard.
Daxter saw him and quickly jumped onto his shoulder, "Jak! Jak!
He wants to kill me! Help help help!!"
Dante stood up and back off, 'this guy looks strong.' he thought.
Jak didn't say anything, he only nodded.
"Jaaakkkk!" Daxter whined into his ear, "Kill him! c'mon! fight fight fight!!"
Jak shook his head and frowned at Dante.
"Okies,uh," Dante started, "This thing in a puddle told me to kill
your little friend here....uhhhh..."
"Thing in a puddle?" Daxter said, "You mean the Elder God???"
"Um, yeah I guess...he did say somthing about how he was my god now..." Dante said
Daxter laughed, "That old queer has been trying to get with me for years now!
I'll tell you that is ONE dude I do NOT wanna go near!!"
Jak smirked.
"Oh, well my gay-dar didn't pick up anything when I was around him!" Dante exclaimed
Daxter laughed, "Gay-dar...what is this world comin to?"
"sooo, uh anyways..." Dante said, "I don't have to kill you? You didn't
do anything bad or whatev ? did ya?"
"No..no..nothin wrong!" Said Daxter, "Honest!"
Jak Poked Daxter.
"Well...maybe....just one thing...."
"What was it?" Dante asked, his hand on his sword.
"I kinda...made love to the muse..."
"Huh?" Dante said, "The wha?"
"The muse! ya know..." Daxter said, "The little golden
squirrel that is the rock-guys inspiration..."
"Ohh..." Dante brought his hand back to his side.
"Yeah," said Daxter, "She had one helluva hot ass!!"
Jak frowned and poked Daxter again,
"Whaaaaat?" Daxter asked and gave Jak a nasty look,
"So, Mr Hero..oh great savior of golden squirrels...should I die?"
Well," Dante said and frowned slightly, "I guess if she really wanted it...."
"Oh yeah baby! She suuuuure did!!" Daxter creeched.
Dante laughed a bit, "well, I guess that's settled...The god-guy must not
know what he's talking about!"
"Uh, no..he never does!" Daxter said quickley.
"So, I guess I should get back! Bye bye!" Dante turned and left the market place....
He went back to the train. Leon wasn't there yet so he waited a bit.
Dante was drawing pictures on large sheets of cardboard when there was
a knock on the train's door.
He got up and walked to it, "Hello?"
"Quick! Help! ...Dante??"
"Trish?? Trish!!" Dante opened the door.
Trish was standing there, her sword in hand, "Dante! I've looked
everywhere for you!"
"Trish! What's wrong!? Tell me what's wrong!" Dante began to violently shake Trish.
"Dante!" she yelled, "Stop it! That hurts!"
"oh," he said and stopped, "What's up chica?"
"Oh Dante!" she sobbed, "It's terrible! Horrible! incredible!
Unbelieveable! Heartwrenching! it's a classic tale of a boy and --"
"Trish! you're rambling!" Dante stopepd her
"Oh, yeah that's right..um..." She paused and seemed to be searching for words.
Dante steped back, "Come in and tell me what happened!"
"No!" Trish cried, "There's no time! you have to hurry! its, its...Leon!"
Dante gasped, "Leon? how do you know him?"
"I don't ," she sobbed, "I know Rikimaru! Its...all...."
She broke into tears.
"Trish!" Dante cried, "What about Leon and Rikimaru??"
She sniffed and took a breath, "Rikimaru took Leon...to the...the..."
she swallowed, "the Fortress!"
Dante placed a hand on her shoulder, "What Fortress, Trish?"
"The desert fortress....the home of the Gerudos!" she cried some more.
"Where is that??" Dante demanded and started to shake Trish again.
"Ow! stopppp!!!" Trish stepped back, " there's a horse that knows the way there....but...
she's locked up now....in the Kain-Kain ranch."
"Uh, don't you mean Lon-Lon Ranch?" Dante asked
"No, no," Trish said and shook her head, "Kain killed Ingo when he took it over from
the old owners so now it's his....I think he likes the cows or somthing..."
"Ohhhh, right!" said Dante, "I saw some signs! I'm leaving!"
Dante stepped out of the train and walked past Trish.
"Dante!!" Trish cried.
Dante kept going, "Trish, don't try to stop me! I have to save Leon!"
"But Dante!!" Trish said
"No, I'm going!" Dante interupted
"Dante you don't understand!!" she cried
"No, YOU don't uderstand Trish! I have to save him!
I really like this guy..I care about him and I don't want him to get hurt!
...like you hurt me...." Dante said and walked faster.
"Dante! Listen to me dammit!" Trish screamed, "You're going the
wrong way!!!"
Dante stopped, "huh?"
Trish pointed to a hill, "Kain-Kain Ranch is *that* way!!"
"Oh...right..." Dante started walking in the direction of the ranch...
Dante walked into the Kain-Kain Ranch and could instantly hear
the sound of cows, horses and chickens.
"I've never been on a real farm!" he thought excitedly.
He came to a fenced in area, there were horses racing about in the field.
"Helloooo? Mr. Kain?" he called...no answer.
He turned around and walked into the barn he had seen...
there stood a green-skinned, white- haired vampire wearing
blue denim overalls and work boots. A straw hat sat atop his head.
Dante walked up to him and said, "Hi! I'm Dante! You must be Kain!"
Kain seemed taken aback, "Why yes...I am indeed...Tell me, Dante was it?"
Dante nodded eagerly.
"What brings you to my glorious ranch?"
"well," Dante started
"You came to see my pretty ponies?" Kain asked
Dante blinked, "Uh, yeah! I did...i need to borrow one to save my boy-
erm..my friend...."
Kain grinned, "Well, I'm deliciously sorry, but...My horses are not to
be rented, or borrowed....however if you would be interested in
playing a type of game with them? I would allow that..."
"Well..." dante thought a moment, "Ok, I guess...what type of game?"
Kain laughed and put and arm on Dante's shoulder and led him
out to the pasture, "Wait here for a moment...I shall return..."
Then Kain disapeared...a moment later he apeared again
with a box in his hand.
"What is it?" Dante asked peering at the box
"This..."Kain said, "Is a box. And inside this box there are ..."
He opened the box, "Playing cards! ahh yes! Who would like to play
some bridge? eh?"
"ohh...." dante said looking around, "Bridge....yeahh buddy...."
"Not just any type of Bridge my friend...." Kain said with a glint of satisfaction in his eye,
" we will play...strip bridge with horses!"
Kain stooped down and started to shuffle the cards.
Dante looked around uncomfortabley, "Ya know what..I think I'll pass..."
"Oh no! You musnt!" Kain said
"well, bridge isn't really my type of game..." Dante said and made to leave
"Well then perhaps...Monopoly?" Kain asked, "Life? Chess? I have all
sorts of the two person type games! ....
but...there's only ever me....Myself...and the horses and cows...."
Kain apeared to be sad, "Do you have any idea how lonely it is here??"
"uh...no but--" Dante started
"I muck out the stalls but that proves to be no fun!" Kain rambled,
"I can't remember the rules of that fun chicken game that obese man
taught me....so..." he sobbed, " I have no friends....my once right hand man,
Raziel has left me...I guess he was angrey because I pulled off his wings or
something...but..." he sighed, "I'm terrible alone...." he sighed again and
then he walked back into the barn leaving Dante alone with the horses.
Dante looked at the horses, "Horses? Horsey? Magic ponyyy? helllooo?"
He noticed that they all looked the same...except for one, he walked
over to her, "Hi?" he said.
The horse whinnied in response.
"You...you're the one!" Dante said and grabbed ahold
of the horse's mane, he boosted himself onto her back.
"Hup!" he said, "Giddyup!" he kicked her
and then she took off. She raced around the pen,
jumping and kicking all the while.
"Weeee!" Dante yelled as the horse jumped over the gate.
She ran out of the Kain-Kain Ranch, and ran down the hill and toward the desert.
They came to a bridge where the horse stopped and wouldn't budge.
Dante climbed off and the horse whinnied and galloped off.
Dante crossed the bridge and went into the tent which was on the other side.
A midget sat inside, " 'ello." he said
Dante looked around, "Helooo...where's the fortress place shorty?"
The midget frowned, "Shorty? hey..how'd you know my name?"
"Uh, lucky guess?" Dante half smiled and asked again,
"Where's the Fortress?"
"Oh...where the nasty dykes live?" Shorty asked
"The Gerudos?"
Shorty nodded, "Yeah..them!"
"Ok, where is it? where are they?"
"You just keep going straight past herr..." Shorty said
"Oh, right thanky thanky!" Dante said and left the tent
This time he walked straight and came to a place that looked like
it was made from mud.
A red-haired chic came up to him and pointed her spear towards him,
"What are you doing here?" she demanded
"I, uh, came to see Rikimaru!" Dante said
"How do you know him...?" she asked and looked suspicious
"we're.... friends..." Dante said
"Oh, alright..follow me." she said as she lowered her spear
she then led him to the inside of of the Fortress.
There were a bunch of cheap looking cells, and a few rooms that had rupees!
The Red-haired guard kept a close eye on Dante as they made their way to the
top of the fortress.
They stopped at a door, Dante heard Leon's voice inside!
"Here," said the girl, "Go on inside...I'm not permitted to enter..."
Dante opened the door, he saw Leon in a cage and a
few red-haired female guards standing around.
He walked in and could see a white haired guy sitting down on a chair eating grapes.
"Leon!" Dante yelled.
"Dante! Help meeee!!" Leon pleaded
"You! Who are you? What do you want??" said the white haired guy
"I am Dante! and Leon is my friend! so only I can keep him
in a cage if I want to! 'm here to save you Leeeoooonnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!"
Dante yelled and flung himself at the white haired.
"ugh!" yelled the china man, "No one does this to...
RIKIMARUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!"
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "Look out!!"
Dante dodged as Rikimaru did a flying leap at his head.
Rikimaru ended up on the cieling, clinging to it like a spider.
Dante pulled out Ebony & Ivory!
He took aim at Rikimaru and said,
"I go Bang-Bang now!!"
At that same instant Rikimaru looked down..."I sense danger!
I'd best hurry!" he said and jumped...
too late! Dante fired ebony first, the Ivory..then both at the
same time!
Rikimaru fell, spiraling downwards.
He collapsed on the floor in a pile...dead.
Dante ran over to his body, still pointing his guns at him.
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "Getthe keys!"
Dante bent down and rummaged threw Rikimaru's pockets.
"Aha!" he pulled out the keys, "I'm coming Leon!!!"
The whole time this was taking place the red-haired guards were
simply watching.
Dante ran over to Leon's cell and unlocked it.
Leon collapsed in his arms, "Dante..."he moaned
"You're safe now..." Dante said and held him close to his body.
Leon looked into Dante's eyes, Dante leaned down and kissed
him.
The guards sighed, "I wish I had that kind of love...."
Suddenly!
The ground shook...Pieces of the wall started to fall down.
Dante and Leon pulled apart.
Some of the guards screamed.
"Whats going on here..??" Dante demanded
"With his final breath Rikimaru is going to kill us!
He'll knock this fortress down!! we have to leave!!!" Leon shreiked.
Dante ran to the small window...it was too high to jump
out of...he turned back around to face Leon and the others, but somthing made
him look back out the window.
"What is it Dante??" Leon asked
"there's....cars...that have guns attached to them!" Dante yelled,
"Rikimaru isn't really going to kill us! there's just a bunch
of people driving around blasting eachother with machine guns..."
Dante said, "THEY'RE the ones that are going to kill us!"
he laughed, and Leon joined him.
The ceiling started to fall around them.
"we have to get OUTTTT!!!" yelled the guards as they ran around and
got smashed by the blocks that were falling.
Leon ran towards the door, "No!" Dante yelled, "Not that
way!" He jumped and grabbed Leon, he was ontop of him when a big
block from the ceiling fell on his legs.
"DANTE!!!" Leon yelled, he managed to get out from
under Dante, but he couldn't push the block off of his legs.
"its...no use..."Leon said, "Heellp!!!"
Dante looked at him, "You have...to leave! NOW!"
"No!" Leon shook his head, "I'm not leaving without you!"
"You have to!" Dante pushed him away
"Well...are you sure?" Leon asked and stood up
"What?" Dante asked
"I guess I'll leave you here then...." Leon said
"AHH!" Dante sobbed
Suddenly all of them heard a loud noise...almost like an engine or somthing.
One of the remaining guards ran to the window, "Look! who is that??"
Leon ran over to the window and saw a helicopter hovering near by,
some geeky looking kid was flying it and a muscular man sat next to him.
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "I'll get help! there's a helicopter!"
Dante winced, "No...is it..."
Leon ran over to him, Dante was unconcious!
"Damn! Not this again!" Leon yelled and ran over to the window to get
the helicopter's attention.
"Hello!! Hellppppp!!!" he hollered.
Leon waved his arms around.
In the helicopter...
"Oh hey look Snake!" Otacon said, "It looks like there's
someone in there who wants to play charades!"
Snake snorted, "I was never any good at that game...what do you think
he's trying to be?"
Otacon looked at Leon, "Hmm...well, did you ever hear
the story about how the turtle ate so many fish he couldn't move?"
Snake looked away, "Uh..yeah, it sounds familer..."
"Snake, now you're lying..." Otacon shook a finger at him.
"No, really, i heard this one before." Snake said
"Really? Then how's it go?" Otacon asked dryly.
"That turtle...he ate a lot of fish...and yeah, uh...he couldn't move...
and he was a turtle....yeah...." Snake said
Otacon sighed, "No snake it went like this...."
Leon could tell that the people in the helicopter
weren't paying much attention to him.
He went back to Dante and stooped beside him, "Dante,
Can you hear me??"
He shook him gently...no answer.
"Dammit Dante!" Leon cried.
He saw that all the guards were gone,
either dead, unconcious or had made it out alive.
"I'll be back." he told Dante and ran outside.
Dante opened his eyes once Leon had left.
He sighed and went devil.
"HUH!" Dante said as he made the transformation.
Once Devil, he easily pushed off the block and stood up.
He went to the window, "Snake!"
He jumped once, then twice and landed on the helicopter.
He glared into the windshield.
"What the --??" Snake said just before Dante
punched thrrough the glass.
"You," Dante said, "Its all your fault!"
Dante grabbed Snake's neck, "You're the one who brought us here!"
"What are you talking about...I'm supposed to be dead!" Snake yelled
"Snake!" Otacon cried, "nooo! Don't you hurt him!"
Dante laughed and tossed Snake out of the chopper --
fortuantly for Snake they were'nt very high off the ground.
Dante cackled with laughter!
Otacon sobbed onto his arm," You're a monster!"
Dante, still in Devil form, flew away from the helicopter and landed next to
Leon who had a tear streaked face.
Leon looked at Dante, horrified. Dante quickly went back to normal.
"You're alive...?" Leon asked Dante
"Yeppers!" Dante said sounding bright and cheerful.
Leon wrapped his arms around Dante and embraced him
in a hug just as the Fortress crumbled to the ground.
"Let's get back to the train...I have a place I'd like you to see." Dante said
They stole a stolen school bus and drove off.
"You're finally awake!" Dante said, "You've been sleeping forever..."
Leon yawned, "I have? It feels like I just dozed off."
Dante smiled and kissed his forhead.
"Where are we?" Leon asked sitting up.
Dante smiled and walked to the window.
He drew back the curtain and Leon looked out.
"We're in," Dante said, "Gallomere."
"what's going on here...?" he cried and took out alastor.
"Ooh...a mirror! Now I can finally fix my hair! this has been driving me
crazy! all that fighting really makes my hair a mess!"
He took out a comb and began styling his hair in front of the mirror.
Suddenly the mirror shimmers!
"Hey! that mirror just shimmerd!" Dante exclaimed.
"What's going on here...?"
It shimmered again and out of curiosity Dante poked his
fingered threw. His hand went cold.
"wow, thats freaky!"
He placed his comb in his coat pocket and cleared his throat.
He looked around and frowned at his reflection.
Then, very carefully, Dante stepped threw the shimmering mirror!
He ended up underwater where there were several marrionettes.
"What the-? How can the puppet-thingys swim??"
Dante swam to the top of the water, in need of some air.
He surfaced only to have a puppet climb on top of him
and push him down.
"Nooo!" the marrionett screached, "I can't swim! Help me!
What a cruel cruel cruel cruel---"
at that moment Dante pushed the puppet down and did a double jump
onto the land.
"Wheew! That was hella close!" He said to himself,
"I coulda drowneded!" Dante looked around the cave where he
had ended up. There was a broken ship behind him
and little glowing crystals in front.
"oooh prettys!" Dante cried and ran over to them.
He touched one and instantly a black almost shadow being
with a glowy thing in his chest was on him.
"eek!" Dante cried and stepped back, "whhhaaat is it??"
The shadow being took a swipe at him and Dante screached again.
"Here!" Dante heard a voice coming from the ledge off to his left,
"Use this!!"
Something hard hit Dante's head.
He rubbed the spot and looked around to see what it was.
A slingshot lay on the ground at his feet.
"Trish?" Dante mumbled "trish is that you???!!"
He grabbed the slingshot, "Damn! Out of ammo!"
The shadow being bent down and picked up a handful of rocks,
he then handed them to Dante, "here you go"
Dante took them, "Why thank you!"
The Shadow being slashed at him again.
"Eeek!" Dante aimed the slingshot, pulled back and fired!
"Owiess!!!!" the Shadow being hissed and ran off.
"Wow, that was lucky!" Dante exclaimed.
He tucked his new weapon into his coat pocket and started walking.
"Riiiders on the sttooooormmm!" He sang, "intoooo this house we're booorn!"
"Into this world we're thrown" sang back a deeper voice which seemed to be coming
from a nearby puddle. "Girl ya gotta love your maaaan!"
It sang in a deep soprano voice.
Dante walked cautiously to the puddle, "hulloooo?"
"Dante....." The voice said,"You are...Worthy!"
Dante clapped, "Yay! Weawwy??"
"Weawwy" the voice answered.
"Weeeeaaaawwwwyyyy???" Dante asked getting more and more excited
"Weawwwyy!!!!!!!!"
"Weawwy?" Dante danced around
"Yes!" The voice cried," weawwy, dammit!"
"Hooray!"
"Hooway indeed, fair Dante" The voice said,"I am your new
god."
"Wow, that's pretty cool!" Dante said," who are you?"
"Your new god." the voice answered
"yeahh...but...who Are you?" Dante said suspiciously
"You are..reborn." The voice said in a familier way
"What?" Dante scratched his head
"You must do me one task." said the voice
"ok look," Dante said, "I don't give head to just ANYONE, ya know!"
"No no!" the voice cried, "Not that!!"
"Oh,ok, then what?"
"You must..."the voice continued," Kill DAXTER!!"
"Who?" dante asked, puzzled.
"You will find him...in the Land Of Hyrule!"
"The Land Of Hyrule?" Dante asked
"Yes, yes!" The voice said, "The Land Of Hyrule!"
"oh,ok..." Dante said pleased with himself, "Wheres that?"
"It is...erm....Thataway!"
"I can't see where you're pointing, mister!" Dante stood with his
hands on his hips.
"I know, that's because you were destroyed and now you are...."
"Good-looking?" Dante asked.
"No! Gods no!!!"
Dante pouted, "but but but!"
"Just go!! Goddammit!!" The voice croaked
"Fiiiiine!" said Dante and off he went in search of Daxter
and the Land Of Hyrule!
Dante saw many things as he made his way out of the castle...
He came to what seemed to be a prison room.
It had a few cells and two pairs of steps, one pair of steps
led up to a higher platform which had a block that was going up and down
trying to smash Dante!! Dante was scared!
He quickly ran past it and grabbed a letter he saw lying on the floor.
He studied the letter..."Hummm it looks like a page torn out of a Pent-house!!"
He looked at it up and down, "This Red-haired girl must be what I'm after!"
He tucked the page into his coat pocket and then ran past the smashy thing again.
There was a noise...a loud crash crash crash noise.
It was coming from the cell that was next to him.
Crash Crash Crash!
Dante snuck over to the door being very sneaky indeed.
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Hellloooooo?" Dante called
"Fooo fo fot!" the thing in the cell called.
"Huh?"
"Foooo fo fottt!!!!!!" Thing called louder
Dante walked to the front of the cell, still being sneaky, and saw!
A Zombie!! This particular zombie was crashing a pan on the wall.
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Foo fo fot!" the zombie said again, "Foo fo fot!!"
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Heyyy!" Dante said, "I know THAT song!"
Dante tapped his foot to the hot-hot beat!
Thump, thump, thump thump!
"What a HAWT beat!" said a voice from the *other* cell next to the zombie.
"Yeah, it is isn't it!?" Dante said
"Yowza! That beat is on FIRE!" The other cellmate called
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
Crash. Crash! Crash! Crash! CrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCrashCRASH!
"Hooooohawww!!!!"
"Wow, mister, dont cum in your pants!" Dante said
"uhh" agreed the zombie
"I ain't wearin any!!" said the second cellmate
Dante made like he would sick up, "Ewww!!!!"
"Hoopla!!" called the no-pants-wearin-fool.
"Oooh Ahh" Mimicked tho zombie
"Ok, whatever, I have a job to do!" Dante said and started to leave
"You're after Daxter...arent you?" said the no-pants guy
"What do you know about Daxter??" Dante turned around
"I know where he is... I used to live there as well." the voice said
"who are you?" Dante asked
"ooh aww ooo?" asked the zombie
"I am...." The voice said, "DARUNIA! The bestest Goron there ever was!"
The zombie titered " uhh- ooon- uh! eh eh eh eh!"
"Shup fool!" yelled Darunia.
"What do you know about Daxter??" Dante asked
"Uh, I know where he lives....?" Darunia said
"uhhh eh eh" the zombie said
"annnd?" Dante persisted
"I know what you need to get him!" darunia exclaimed
"oot oot oot!" the zombie said
"Shut up zombie!" Dante and Darunia yelled
"Now," Dante said after a moment, "What do you know about daxter?"
"Are you serious?" Darunia asked, "I mean, I just told you..."
"Oh..." Dante said feeling stupid, "What do I need to get him though?"
"A....um...bagel!?" Darunia said- making things up
"a aaggull!" the zombie said "eeee!"
"Why a bagel?" Dante asked
"Cuz." Said Darunia, "Now, are you going to let me out?"
"No." Dante said walking away, "Why would I?"
"cuz!!!" Darunia yelled, "Damn you Dante!! DAMN YOOOOO!!!"
"ammmm oooooo! aaannnnttt-ayyyy!"
Dante paused, "How do you know my name??"
Darunia laughed real clown like -huh huh huh!
"uh uh uh uh!" laughed zombie
"You're wearing a name tag!" Darunia howled
"huh?" Dante looked down....there was a sticker right above his heart on his coat
it read 'Hello! My name is Dante!' and there was a blue smiley face next to his name (Dante)
"So I am..." said Dante, a blush creeping onto his face.
He turned and ran out the door.
In this room there was a sewer..and really big spiders!
"huh!" Dante cried as he took out his sword.
He continued to slash the spdiers into itty bitty bits.
"That'll teach you to...uh...stand there and...leave me alone!"
Dante walked off with a smile on his face.
He came to a small platform which alowd him some relief from
the smelly waters. There was a ladder on this platform, he climbed
up and entered a small room where some creepy music played.
Dante looked about the room, a large chest sat in the corner...
and locker which had what apeared to be an gaids spray
and a cot with....a MAN!!!
It had been a while since Dante had seen a MAN!
He rushed over to the wounded soul.
"uhh...uhhh" said the man
"Heya, are you ok?" Dante asked
"Yes....I think so....who are you?" asked the man
"I am Dante! The Super Sexxxy demon-devil-mortal WARRIOR!"
"Oh..." said the man," i'm Leon....Leon S. Kennedy!"
"It's nice to meet you." Dante smiled
"yes..." Leon smiled back, "It's nice meeting you too!"
"Sooo...what happened to you?" Dante asked looking
at Leon's bloody bandage.
"Oh this?" Leon asked and gestured to his arm
"YeahZ!" Dante said
"This is just for show and all...ya know?" Leon said and giggled
"Oh wow! I like you!" Dante said
Leon smiled, "I like you to too!"
"Huh?" Dante said confused
"Nevermind, LOL" Leon giggled
"Oh ok?" Dante tittered.
"So now what? what are you doing here?" Leon asked
"Oh..I have to go kill someone...how bouts you?" Dante said
"I'm just trying to get out of here...I've been lost for several minutes!!" Leon exclaimed
"Oh wow! I feel bad for you!" Dante pushed out his bottom lip.
"Yeah I think you should....but I have to go!" Leon said and stood up
"Ok, ok..." Dante said
"here," Leon said holding out his hand to Dante, "take this so
we can stay in contact in the future!"
Dante bent down and looked at his hand, "Heyy, there's nothing here!"
Leon raised the hand to his face, "Huh? oh welll...then what's
this...." he put his hand to Dante's ear, "Behind your EAR!?"
He pulled out a small black radio and handed it to Dante.
"Oh wow! How did you do that Leon S Kennedy??" Dante said
obviously thrilled.
"oh...I'm magic!" Leon exclaimed
"hee hee!" Dante snorted
"Well, take this and I'll leave you now!" Leon yelled
"Okies..bye bye" Dante said as Leon ran off and tripped down the ladder.
Dante went over to the chest and looked inside.
"Oooh! A machine gun! not that I don't love my handguns-
EBONY & IVORY!!" He exclaimed
"Oh, wait...it's not even infinite! poo poo." Dante closed the chest and walked
over to the lockers, "Oops, I don't want gaids!"
He walked over to the door and studied the handle...taking near 10 minutes before
he actually opened it and stepped out.
He was now in a hall-way. He looked around, took a step forward
and then the radio that Leon gave him started making a buzzing noise.
"This must need new batterys...hummm." Dante said to himself.
He turned down into another hallway where at the end a metal gate blocked
off the other room. Dante gazed into this room.
He saw a washing machine which was on and making a loud whrr whrr whrr
noise. "what's going on here?" Dante questioned himself.
"Gee, I dont know!" He answered himself.
Dante looked closer the room was very misty and it was
hard to see much past the machine.
"Hello?" he called
He looked around...and saw a pair of legs that were walking
towards him.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump!
It was dragging something behind it....
Dante bent down and looked...he saw the feet were dirty and white...
"Prolly really clammy too!" he said to himself, "yes."
The feet were getting close enough so he could see the rest of
the body. It looked orange. It was pointed at the top.
Thump. Thump. Thump. went the feet
Scratch scratch scratch. went the thing it was dragging.
Dante stood up, feeling afraid.
"Helloo?" he called
No answer.
Thump, scratch, thump scratch.
Dante jumped back as it got closer.
He took out his sword...Alastor....
The thing came up to the gate and then Dante could clearly see
what was on him....
it was,
"an orange funny cone?"
"rrrrrrr!" went the orang thing
"Why do you have that on? and where'd you get it?" Dante asked
"Fellllll....doowwwwnnnn...ugh." replied the thing.
"I bet it'd come off pretty easy...and what is that you're dragging?"
Dante looked and saw that the thing had a chain attached to his arm,
and attached to the chain was a shopping cart.
"This is hella weird!" He said
"Yourrrrrr...telllinggg......meeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!" the orange thing yelled
"eeek!!" Dante turned and ran
"Waaaiiittt!!! ......pleeease! get this off...of...my head!!"
Dante plugged his ears with his fingers, "neener neener neener!
not listening! not listening!"
"nooooo!!!" cried the thing
Dante ran down another hallway, and this time there was a door at the end.
He went in....
There were computers everywhere and a small walk-space.
He heard a click, click click...
Dante walked into the open space only to find....
"Leon!"
Leon turned around from the computer he had been typing on.
He squinted, and then walked forward so he was next to Dante,
"it's good to see you're still among the living!"
Dante put his hands behind his back and twirled on one foot,
"I missed you!!"
Leon blushed, "awww!"
Dante stood like he usually did then, "Whatcha doooo in?"
"I sent a letter to my- uh- friend." Leon turned to the left and looked at the compy.
"Can I see?" Dante inquired and stepped forward
"No!" Leon yelled and smashed the computer.
Dante's jaw dropped, "well geez if ya didnt want me to see
all you had to do was say so!"
Leon blushed again," uhh..."
Dante walked past Leon, "I guess I have to go...will you
call me sometime?"
Leon brightend, "Sure!"
"Ok!" Dante turned and waved then walked out the other door.
Once on the other side he sighed and combed his hair quickly.
Dante walked a little longer until he came to a train.
"This will take me to Hyrule! well...prolly!" Dante thought.
He walked in and went to the front only to find that it was missing
the key that it needed to start!
"Dammit!" Dante yelled," Now I need to find that key..."
Dante walked out of the train....
Dante looked around the train station. There was the door
he had come in from and two others.
He chose the middle door and started towards it when somthing tripped
him. "Oof!" he cried
He lay on the ground and watched as the air rippled and turned to a greenish colour.
"What's going on here?" He said to himself
"Hey!" cried the ripple object
Dante looked it up and down, it was a greenish shape of a person,
it rippled every now then and when Dante looked up to where
the head was he saw white locks of hair.
"Hey!" the white haired thing said, "are you ok?"
Dante got up, still staring at the thing," Raiden?? Is that you????"
The rippled object turned into a man, "Dante? I thought that...you were in hell??"
"Nooopers! not anymore! I got out...what are you doing here?" Dante said
Raiden paused, "Secretial - I mean..Secret...Secret stuff."
Raiden looked At Dante...o..O..("I wanna hold you in my arms!")
Dante looked at Raiden....o..O..("My gods he looks like a woman!")
Dante nodded and said,"Of course...you could never tell me anything..could you?"
Raiden looked Dante in the eye...o...O...("That's so cute I can hardley bare it!")
Then Raiden turned, "Don't bring up Snake again..."
Dante laughed, "You already did! So obviously you were the one
who was thinking about him!"
Raiden looked puzzeled.....o...O...("Exactly!")
"That's not true and you know it Dante!"
Dante looked smug, "Well, I guess this is why we didn't last very long...
You could never tell me things when I was oh-so honest with you!"
Raiden looked sad, "Dante....."
"No no!" Dante interupted, "I told you about Trish! You never mentioned Snake!"
"Or Rose..." Raiden looked at the floor, "I never told you about her..."
"Rose? rose now?" Dante snarled, "Two wasn't enough for you, eh?
You had to go after someone else...hoping for a Foursome??"
"Dante!" Raiden looked at him in the eyes, "That wasn't what I wanted and you
know it! I ...I loved you!"
Dante turned, "Lies...."
"No! I would never lie to you Dante! Never!"
Dante laughed, "Like it matters now...I'm....I found someone else..."
"What? who?" Raiden said, anger buliding inside of him.
"That doesnt matter either..." Dante turned away," I'm leaving this place...I'm leaving
you....for good. This time."
Tears welled in the corners of Raiden's eyes, "But..no Dante...you can't!
I need you!"
Dante took a gentle hand to Raiden's eyes and wiped his tears, "Goodbye..."
He pulled his hand back to his side, "...Raiden...."
Raiden cried and stood where Dante had left him looking pathetic.
Dante walked threw the middle door as he had planned.
As soon as he entered the room the smell of marijuana
hit him.
"Hellooooo?" He called as he walked further in.
"Yeah!" answered a woman, "We're back heeeerrre!"
There was a seperate room in here! Dante walked into it...
He saw what looked like a robot sitting down next to a blonde haired chic.
"Hi?" Dante said
"Shhiiiiikiiiiiii zoku zaayy kuuu!" The robot yelled and stood up.
"Dont mind him," said the blonde as she took a hit off the bomber joint
they were sharing, "That's Yoshimitsu...a real freak if you ask me..."
"Tenmo Ki ki!" Yoshimitsu said
"Ohh k...and who are you?" Dante asked
"Oh," she stood up and stuck out her hand, "I'm Nina Williams.
Nice to meet you."
"Yeah," Dante said shaking her hand, "Nice to meet you too..."
Nina gave the roach to Yoshimitsu who took several deep drags and didn't
bother returning it to Nina.
Dante stood and flexed his arms," Soo what are yuns doin here?"
Nina laughed, "Yuns? You're an asshole...but to answer your question...
we're getting wasted, and we're having a party!"
Dante looked around, "A party? When?"
"Now...this is our party." Nina said and gestured around the dull room.
"Ohh riiiight..." Dante said and took a step back
"Azzabee!!!" Yoshimitsu started walking backwards.
"Stop it Yoshi! Dammit...now where did my joint go..?" Nina started looking around,
"Dammit Yoshimitsu!! Go make some eggs or somthing..."
"Shiki soku zay kuu!!" Yoshi cried
Dante stood uncomfortabley, "umm yeah..well see I have a mission I have to.."
"Oh a mission? Like what type?" Nina sat down cross-legged looking anxious
"Oh..you know...this and that....secretial stuff..." Dante said
Nina laughed again and this time Yoshimitsu joined her.
"You're funny, " she said, "Do you wanna smoke?"
"no..actually I need to get going....bye?" Dante turned and walked back out the way
he came as Nina and Yoshimitsu laughed and laughed and laughed.
Dante looked around -- no sign of Raiden..
"good.." he muttered to himself.
He walked to the other door. There was no smell of pot or any stoners.
"good..." he said again.
"alright!" he said once for good measure...
There was another gate thing in this room.
"Wowzers! that's just like the one where that poor homeless man
was!" He bent down next to it and...
there was a key on the other side!
A little girls voice came shreiking to his ears,
"That's MYYYYY KEEYYYYY!!"
footsteps, running...
Dante grabbed the key just as the little girl came up to the grate.
He pocketed it, "Haha ha ha ha haa! I got the key now!"
The girl leaned on the gate and moved her arm a bit, "But that's my key!
and you should be punished!" her eyes blue eyes flashed a different shade of blue.
Dante stuck out his tongue and puleld out the keys wiagging them back and forth.
The gate opened and the little girl walked up to him and kneed him in the groin.
She grabbed the keys and ran down where she had come from.
"Heyy!!" Dante said and rubbed his crotch.
After a moment he was capable of walking and started after her.
"Litttlllleeee giiiiiiiiiirrrlllllll!" he called.
He walked into the only door and saw a trail of blood.
"What's going on here...?" he said to himself
"RAHHHHH!!!"
"what...was that?" he asked to no one in particular
A shrill scream came from the closet door.
Dante walked up to it...he heard heavy breathing....
He paused then suddenly and violently swung open the door.
The Nemesis stood there with the girl in his arms -- dead.
"Raahhhh!!!!" The monster cried, "starsss!"
He ran out of the closet and out the door leaving Dante with the dead little girl body.
"awww..... see what happens when you take Mr. Dante's keys?"
Dante found the keys pressed tightly in her hand, he took them and walked back out to
the train.
He pulled out his radio (the one from Leon) and began to press buttons.
"Hello! Hello!" he called into it
"Dante?" Leon's voice came through, "Is that you?"
"Heya!" Dante said, "I'm going to leave...do you want to come with me?"
Leon paused, "Where are you?"
"I'm at the train," dante said, " Can you make it here now?"
"Yeah...I'll be there as fast as I can!"
"Okies! Over and out!" Dante sighed and walked over to the train.
He climbed on and went to the front.
Suddenly!
Boom! Thump!
"Eee gads! There's somthing on the roof!"
Dante pulled out Alastor and walked out...
He looked on the roof...there was nothing....
Satisfied, he walked back in and waited.
No more noises.
Leon came in about five minutes later.
"It's good to see you're still among the living!" he told Dante
"Yeah!" dante smiled, "You too!"
Leon took the keys and started the train...
"I think I can handle this thing...you can go in the back and rest up!"
Leon told Dante
"You sure?" Dante said
"Positive" Leon smiled," I've done it before."
"okies!" Dante walked to the other compartments
"Holy shit!" he said to himself as he looked at the seats, "Is that a duck?"
"Why yes I am." said the duck-man,"I'm also a docter!"
"Oh wow...but you can't be on this train." Dante said
"Well why not?" asked the duck
"This is a people train! You're a duck...you can't be on a people train!" exclaimed Dante
"What are you gonna do about it??" demanded Mr Duck
Thump! Crash! Bump!
Leon burst threw the door, "Dante! I think that William Birkin is
on the roof!!"
"Who?" asked Dante
"Nevermind....you have to go out and stop him!" said Leon
"Why me?" asked Dante, "Why not the Duck Man??"
"i'm not going out!" cried the duck man
"well then you have to Dante!" said Leon
Dante sighed as Leon walked back to the front of the train.
Dante walked outside and looked at the roof...
A large mutant was dancing ontop!
"EEEKK!!!" Dante ran back in the train
"well," said the duck man docter, "What was it?"
"uhhh..." Dante thought for a minute, "It was a big puddle with bread crumbs in it..."
"Ohhh!! Really?? yaay!" Cried the duck man
"Yeah...go out and see for yourself! tee hee!" Dante giggled as
the Duck Man walked out.
Dante smirked and locked the door, "Leon! yoohoo!"
"What?" Leon yelled back
"Go ahead and leave, it was nothing!"
"Oh okies!" and the train started moving as the Duck man
started screaming. Dante sat down
and ate an apple, blood splashed onto the window next to him.
When they stopped Leon walked back to find Dante asleep.
He poked him and messed with his hair, touching his soft lips.
He looked from Dante's closed sleepy little eyes to his full lips,
Leon leaned in close to his face...Dante moaned in his sleep
and turned. Leon sighed and walked off to the other side of the train.
Dante opened his eyes. He didn't know where he was at first.
He saw Leon sitting across from him reading a 'Details' magazine.
"Heyy sleepy head!" Leon said and put the book down
"Hello...." Dante yawned, "Where are we?"
Leon gestured to the window, "Hyrule. isn't that where
you wanted to go?"
Dante sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Yes! yes it was!" he looked
out the window and saw a beautiful green pasture stretched out in front of him.
"Oh...wow..." he whispered
Leon got up and walked over to him, "Isn't it pretty?"
He put his arm on Dante's shoulder, nervous that Dante might not allow him to,
but he took Leon's hand in his own and carresed it as they both
looked out the window. Dante looked up at Leon and smiled, Leon smiled back.
"I guess we should get a move on....I have to find Daxter still!"
Leon gave Dante's hand a final squeeze and took his arm back, "Yeah, I came here
to find someone too...I didn't get a chance to tell you."
Dante raised an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? who?"
"RikiMaru....he's a stealth assasin."
Dante looked down, "Oh, I see..."
Leon cleared his throat, " but we're just friends...he's not my type."
"Why's that?" Dante asked
"Well, I don't usually date guys who are Chinese." Leon said
"Well...how about...half devil guys?" Dante said
Leon laughed, "I've only ever known one...Kazuya...and we were never
very serious...."
Dante laughed as well.
"Ok," Leon said stepping back, "You still have the radio I gave you...let's
split up and we'll meet back here!"
"Alright!" said Dante as he hurried out the door.
Dante came to a large castle, he crossed the draw-bridge and entered it.
There was a like market area, with lots of people shopping and dancing
and having a good old time!
He walked over to a young dancing couple, "excuse me, do you know a Daxter?"
"How rude!" exclaimed the woman
"Indeed! We're trying to dance and this fiend comes barging over to us!"
Suddenly the couple had stopped dancing.
The Girl shrieked, "Surrendor Now Or Prepare for Trouble!"
The Boy Yelled, "Yeah! We'll get you honky!"
Dante stepped back, "Oopsies!"
he ran away and hit some fat chic.
"oof!"
The fat lady yelled, "Devil! Leave my Poopy alone! nooo!"
"Your..poopy?" Dante looked around and saw a little brown puppy
"oh! I know! I had a kitty who my ex would call his Poopy! hee hee!"
The fat lady nodded, "Ah, I see...youlike aminals?"
"anals?" Dante asked
The fat lady cleared her throat, "no...aminals..."
"Ohhh, okies!" dante said, "I like them too!"
The fat chic looked at the brown doggy, "but...my poopy wasn't brown...
and he wasn't as long as he is now either! That isn't my poopy!"
The Fat chic screamed.
Dante patted her shoulder and she pushed him away yelling ,"no no no!"
Dante walked over to her 'poopy.'
"Bark, Bark, bark!" said the doggy
Dante bent down and looked closer at the dog...
"Hey!" He said, "You're a weasel! not a dog!!"
"Hey hey hey! who are you callin a weasel?!" asked the dog thing
"Eee!" dante cried, "What are you??"
The Poopy stood up on his hind legs, "I am...
DAXTER!"
Dante's jaw dropped, "You're Daxter?"
Daxter nodded, "The one and only!" he giggled.
"Wowsers!" Dante said, "You're small!"
Daxter gave him a dirty look, "Small but nifty!"
Dante tittered.
"sooo," said Daxter, "Whatdya want?"
Dante rubbed his chin, "Well...I was sort of, kinda sent to find you."
Daxter's little fuzzy ears perked up at this, "What? really? why??"
"I'm s'posed to kill you." Dante said all too subtley...
"WHAAAAT???" Daxter jumped and stepepd back, "WHY???!!!"
Dante scratched his head, "Ida know."
"JJJJJAAAAKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!" Daxter yelled, "HEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!"
People turned and stared at the screaching weasel.
One member of the crowd came forward, he had green hair and a green little beard.
Daxter saw him and quickly jumped onto his shoulder, "Jak! Jak!
He wants to kill me! Help help help!!"
Dante stood up and back off, 'this guy looks strong.' he thought.
Jak didn't say anything, he only nodded.
"Jaaakkkk!" Daxter whined into his ear, "Kill him! c'mon! fight fight fight!!"
Jak shook his head and frowned at Dante.
"Okies,uh," Dante started, "This thing in a puddle told me to kill
your little friend here....uhhhh..."
"Thing in a puddle?" Daxter said, "You mean the Elder God???"
"Um, yeah I guess...he did say somthing about how he was my god now..." Dante said
Daxter laughed, "That old queer has been trying to get with me for years now!
I'll tell you that is ONE dude I do NOT wanna go near!!"
Jak smirked.
"Oh, well my gay-dar didn't pick up anything when I was around him!" Dante exclaimed
Daxter laughed, "Gay-dar...what is this world comin to?"
"sooo, uh anyways..." Dante said, "I don't have to kill you? You didn't
do anything bad or whatev ? did ya?"
"No..no..nothin wrong!" Said Daxter, "Honest!"
Jak Poked Daxter.
"Well...maybe....just one thing...."
"What was it?" Dante asked, his hand on his sword.
"I kinda...made love to the muse..."
"Huh?" Dante said, "The wha?"
"The muse! ya know..." Daxter said, "The little golden
squirrel that is the rock-guys inspiration..."
"Ohh..." Dante brought his hand back to his side.
"Yeah," said Daxter, "She had one helluva hot ass!!"
Jak frowned and poked Daxter again,
"Whaaaaat?" Daxter asked and gave Jak a nasty look,
"So, Mr Hero..oh great savior of golden squirrels...should I die?"
Well," Dante said and frowned slightly, "I guess if she really wanted it...."
"Oh yeah baby! She suuuuure did!!" Daxter creeched.
Dante laughed a bit, "well, I guess that's settled...The god-guy must not
know what he's talking about!"
"Uh, no..he never does!" Daxter said quickley.
"So, I guess I should get back! Bye bye!" Dante turned and left the market place....
He went back to the train. Leon wasn't there yet so he waited a bit.
Dante was drawing pictures on large sheets of cardboard when there was
a knock on the train's door.
He got up and walked to it, "Hello?"
"Quick! Help! ...Dante??"
"Trish?? Trish!!" Dante opened the door.
Trish was standing there, her sword in hand, "Dante! I've looked
everywhere for you!"
"Trish! What's wrong!? Tell me what's wrong!" Dante began to violently shake Trish.
"Dante!" she yelled, "Stop it! That hurts!"
"oh," he said and stopped, "What's up chica?"
"Oh Dante!" she sobbed, "It's terrible! Horrible! incredible!
Unbelieveable! Heartwrenching! it's a classic tale of a boy and --"
"Trish! you're rambling!" Dante stopepd her
"Oh, yeah that's right..um..." She paused and seemed to be searching for words.
Dante steped back, "Come in and tell me what happened!"
"No!" Trish cried, "There's no time! you have to hurry! its, its...Leon!"
Dante gasped, "Leon? how do you know him?"
"I don't ," she sobbed, "I know Rikimaru! Its...all...."
She broke into tears.
"Trish!" Dante cried, "What about Leon and Rikimaru??"
She sniffed and took a breath, "Rikimaru took Leon...to the...the..."
she swallowed, "the Fortress!"
Dante placed a hand on her shoulder, "What Fortress, Trish?"
"The desert fortress....the home of the Gerudos!" she cried some more.
"Where is that??" Dante demanded and started to shake Trish again.
"Ow! stopppp!!!" Trish stepped back, " there's a horse that knows the way there....but...
she's locked up now....in the Kain-Kain ranch."
"Uh, don't you mean Lon-Lon Ranch?" Dante asked
"No, no," Trish said and shook her head, "Kain killed Ingo when he took it over from
the old owners so now it's his....I think he likes the cows or somthing..."
"Ohhhh, right!" said Dante, "I saw some signs! I'm leaving!"
Dante stepped out of the train and walked past Trish.
"Dante!!" Trish cried.
Dante kept going, "Trish, don't try to stop me! I have to save Leon!"
"But Dante!!" Trish said
"No, I'm going!" Dante interupted
"Dante you don't understand!!" she cried
"No, YOU don't uderstand Trish! I have to save him!
I really like this guy..I care about him and I don't want him to get hurt!
...like you hurt me...." Dante said and walked faster.
"Dante! Listen to me dammit!" Trish screamed, "You're going the
wrong way!!!"
Dante stopped, "huh?"
Trish pointed to a hill, "Kain-Kain Ranch is *that* way!!"
"Oh...right..." Dante started walking in the direction of the ranch...
Dante walked into the Kain-Kain Ranch and could instantly hear
the sound of cows, horses and chickens.
"I've never been on a real farm!" he thought excitedly.
He came to a fenced in area, there were horses racing about in the field.
"Helloooo? Mr. Kain?" he called...no answer.
He turned around and walked into the barn he had seen...
there stood a green-skinned, white- haired vampire wearing
blue denim overalls and work boots. A straw hat sat atop his head.
Dante walked up to him and said, "Hi! I'm Dante! You must be Kain!"
Kain seemed taken aback, "Why yes...I am indeed...Tell me, Dante was it?"
Dante nodded eagerly.
"What brings you to my glorious ranch?"
"well," Dante started
"You came to see my pretty ponies?" Kain asked
Dante blinked, "Uh, yeah! I did...i need to borrow one to save my boy-
erm..my friend...."
Kain grinned, "Well, I'm deliciously sorry, but...My horses are not to
be rented, or borrowed....however if you would be interested in
playing a type of game with them? I would allow that..."
"Well..." dante thought a moment, "Ok, I guess...what type of game?"
Kain laughed and put and arm on Dante's shoulder and led him
out to the pasture, "Wait here for a moment...I shall return..."
Then Kain disapeared...a moment later he apeared again
with a box in his hand.
"What is it?" Dante asked peering at the box
"This..."Kain said, "Is a box. And inside this box there are ..."
He opened the box, "Playing cards! ahh yes! Who would like to play
some bridge? eh?"
"ohh...." dante said looking around, "Bridge....yeahh buddy...."
"Not just any type of Bridge my friend...." Kain said with a glint of satisfaction in his eye,
" we will play...strip bridge with horses!"
Kain stooped down and started to shuffle the cards.
Dante looked around uncomfortabley, "Ya know what..I think I'll pass..."
"Oh no! You musnt!" Kain said
"well, bridge isn't really my type of game..." Dante said and made to leave
"Well then perhaps...Monopoly?" Kain asked, "Life? Chess? I have all
sorts of the two person type games! ....
but...there's only ever me....Myself...and the horses and cows...."
Kain apeared to be sad, "Do you have any idea how lonely it is here??"
"uh...no but--" Dante started
"I muck out the stalls but that proves to be no fun!" Kain rambled,
"I can't remember the rules of that fun chicken game that obese man
taught me....so..." he sobbed, " I have no friends....my once right hand man,
Raziel has left me...I guess he was angrey because I pulled off his wings or
something...but..." he sighed, "I'm terrible alone...." he sighed again and
then he walked back into the barn leaving Dante alone with the horses.
Dante looked at the horses, "Horses? Horsey? Magic ponyyy? helllooo?"
He noticed that they all looked the same...except for one, he walked
over to her, "Hi?" he said.
The horse whinnied in response.
"You...you're the one!" Dante said and grabbed ahold
of the horse's mane, he boosted himself onto her back.
"Hup!" he said, "Giddyup!" he kicked her
and then she took off. She raced around the pen,
jumping and kicking all the while.
"Weeee!" Dante yelled as the horse jumped over the gate.
She ran out of the Kain-Kain Ranch, and ran down the hill and toward the desert.
They came to a bridge where the horse stopped and wouldn't budge.
Dante climbed off and the horse whinnied and galloped off.
Dante crossed the bridge and went into the tent which was on the other side.
A midget sat inside, " 'ello." he said
Dante looked around, "Helooo...where's the fortress place shorty?"
The midget frowned, "Shorty? hey..how'd you know my name?"
"Uh, lucky guess?" Dante half smiled and asked again,
"Where's the Fortress?"
"Oh...where the nasty dykes live?" Shorty asked
"The Gerudos?"
Shorty nodded, "Yeah..them!"
"Ok, where is it? where are they?"
"You just keep going straight past herr..." Shorty said
"Oh, right thanky thanky!" Dante said and left the tent
This time he walked straight and came to a place that looked like
it was made from mud.
A red-haired chic came up to him and pointed her spear towards him,
"What are you doing here?" she demanded
"I, uh, came to see Rikimaru!" Dante said
"How do you know him...?" she asked and looked suspicious
"we're.... friends..." Dante said
"Oh, alright..follow me." she said as she lowered her spear
she then led him to the inside of of the Fortress.
There were a bunch of cheap looking cells, and a few rooms that had rupees!
The Red-haired guard kept a close eye on Dante as they made their way to the
top of the fortress.
They stopped at a door, Dante heard Leon's voice inside!
"Here," said the girl, "Go on inside...I'm not permitted to enter..."
Dante opened the door, he saw Leon in a cage and a
few red-haired female guards standing around.
He walked in and could see a white haired guy sitting down on a chair eating grapes.
"Leon!" Dante yelled.
"Dante! Help meeee!!" Leon pleaded
"You! Who are you? What do you want??" said the white haired guy
"I am Dante! and Leon is my friend! so only I can keep him
in a cage if I want to! 'm here to save you Leeeoooonnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!"
Dante yelled and flung himself at the white haired.
"ugh!" yelled the china man, "No one does this to...
RIKIMARUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!"
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "Look out!!"
Dante dodged as Rikimaru did a flying leap at his head.
Rikimaru ended up on the cieling, clinging to it like a spider.
Dante pulled out Ebony & Ivory!
He took aim at Rikimaru and said,
"I go Bang-Bang now!!"
At that same instant Rikimaru looked down..."I sense danger!
I'd best hurry!" he said and jumped...
too late! Dante fired ebony first, the Ivory..then both at the
same time!
Rikimaru fell, spiraling downwards.
He collapsed on the floor in a pile...dead.
Dante ran over to his body, still pointing his guns at him.
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "Getthe keys!"
Dante bent down and rummaged threw Rikimaru's pockets.
"Aha!" he pulled out the keys, "I'm coming Leon!!!"
The whole time this was taking place the red-haired guards were
simply watching.
Dante ran over to Leon's cell and unlocked it.
Leon collapsed in his arms, "Dante..."he moaned
"You're safe now..." Dante said and held him close to his body.
Leon looked into Dante's eyes, Dante leaned down and kissed
him.
The guards sighed, "I wish I had that kind of love...."
Suddenly!
The ground shook...Pieces of the wall started to fall down.
Dante and Leon pulled apart.
Some of the guards screamed.
"Whats going on here..??" Dante demanded
"With his final breath Rikimaru is going to kill us!
He'll knock this fortress down!! we have to leave!!!" Leon shreiked.
Dante ran to the small window...it was too high to jump
out of...he turned back around to face Leon and the others, but somthing made
him look back out the window.
"What is it Dante??" Leon asked
"there's....cars...that have guns attached to them!" Dante yelled,
"Rikimaru isn't really going to kill us! there's just a bunch
of people driving around blasting eachother with machine guns..."
Dante said, "THEY'RE the ones that are going to kill us!"
he laughed, and Leon joined him.
The ceiling started to fall around them.
"we have to get OUTTTT!!!" yelled the guards as they ran around and
got smashed by the blocks that were falling.
Leon ran towards the door, "No!" Dante yelled, "Not that
way!" He jumped and grabbed Leon, he was ontop of him when a big
block from the ceiling fell on his legs.
"DANTE!!!" Leon yelled, he managed to get out from
under Dante, but he couldn't push the block off of his legs.
"its...no use..."Leon said, "Heellp!!!"
Dante looked at him, "You have...to leave! NOW!"
"No!" Leon shook his head, "I'm not leaving without you!"
"You have to!" Dante pushed him away
"Well...are you sure?" Leon asked and stood up
"What?" Dante asked
"I guess I'll leave you here then...." Leon said
"AHH!" Dante sobbed
Suddenly all of them heard a loud noise...almost like an engine or somthing.
One of the remaining guards ran to the window, "Look! who is that??"
Leon ran over to the window and saw a helicopter hovering near by,
some geeky looking kid was flying it and a muscular man sat next to him.
"Dante!" Leon yelled, "I'll get help! there's a helicopter!"
Dante winced, "No...is it..."
Leon ran over to him, Dante was unconcious!
"Damn! Not this again!" Leon yelled and ran over to the window to get
the helicopter's attention.
"Hello!! Hellppppp!!!" he hollered.
Leon waved his arms around.
In the helicopter...
"Oh hey look Snake!" Otacon said, "It looks like there's
someone in there who wants to play charades!"
Snake snorted, "I was never any good at that game...what do you think
he's trying to be?"
Otacon looked at Leon, "Hmm...well, did you ever hear
the story about how the turtle ate so many fish he couldn't move?"
Snake looked away, "Uh..yeah, it sounds familer..."
"Snake, now you're lying..." Otacon shook a finger at him.
"No, really, i heard this one before." Snake said
"Really? Then how's it go?" Otacon asked dryly.
"That turtle...he ate a lot of fish...and yeah, uh...he couldn't move...
and he was a turtle....yeah...." Snake said
Otacon sighed, "No snake it went like this...."
Leon could tell that the people in the helicopter
weren't paying much attention to him.
He went back to Dante and stooped beside him, "Dante,
Can you hear me??"
He shook him gently...no answer.
"Dammit Dante!" Leon cried.
He saw that all the guards were gone,
either dead, unconcious or had made it out alive.
"I'll be back." he told Dante and ran outside.
Dante opened his eyes once Leon had left.
He sighed and went devil.
"HUH!" Dante said as he made the transformation.
Once Devil, he easily pushed off the block and stood up.
He went to the window, "Snake!"
He jumped once, then twice and landed on the helicopter.
He glared into the windshield.
"What the --??" Snake said just before Dante
punched thrrough the glass.
"You," Dante said, "Its all your fault!"
Dante grabbed Snake's neck, "You're the one who brought us here!"
"What are you talking about...I'm supposed to be dead!" Snake yelled
"Snake!" Otacon cried, "nooo! Don't you hurt him!"
Dante laughed and tossed Snake out of the chopper --
fortuantly for Snake they were'nt very high off the ground.
Dante cackled with laughter!
Otacon sobbed onto his arm," You're a monster!"
Dante, still in Devil form, flew away from the helicopter and landed next to
Leon who had a tear streaked face.
Leon looked at Dante, horrified. Dante quickly went back to normal.
"You're alive...?" Leon asked Dante
"Yeppers!" Dante said sounding bright and cheerful.
Leon wrapped his arms around Dante and embraced him
in a hug just as the Fortress crumbled to the ground.
"Let's get back to the train...I have a place I'd like you to see." Dante said
They stole a stolen school bus and drove off.
"You're finally awake!" Dante said, "You've been sleeping forever..."
Leon yawned, "I have? It feels like I just dozed off."
Dante smiled and kissed his forhead.
"Where are we?" Leon asked sitting up.
Dante smiled and walked to the window.
He drew back the curtain and Leon looked out.
"We're in," Dante said, "Gallomere."