Public Display
The first month was awkward. That was the only word Jounouchi could think to describe his relationship with Yuugi… and some days, 'awkward' felt like an understatement.
First had been the talk with Yuugi's grandpa. The old man had insisted on rambling about how it was okay that they had feelings for each other - that it wasn't his place to stop them - but that they needed to be discreet and responsible. Secretly, Jounouchi had agreed, but Yuugi looked a bit irritated. Then again, who could expect discretion from a boy who wore leather and chains yet acted like an angel? Then he had laid down the rules. Most of them revolved around not having sex in the house… although there was an aside that he couldn't stop them from doing it anywhere else.
Once they were alone up in his room - not ten minutes after his grandfather had made his rules obvious - Yuugi had challenged Jounouchi to a game: being as silent and discreet as possible while Yuugi did whatever he pleased. Jounouchi swore he nearly bit off his lower lip, but he won.
Speaking of sex, Jounouchi still couldn't get over the fact that Yuugi topped him. Granted he had gotten used to it, and he could make Yuugi squirm and sigh, but somehow Yuugi always ended up on top. Jounouchi admitted to himself - and himself only - that he liked it… but it was sort of ironic. After all, Jounouchi had always been the one to defend Yuugi; naturally, if any would ever think of them in a relationship, they would think that Jounouchi would come out more dominant.
But no one suspected anything… and that was the way Jounouchi liked it. No matter how assured he became in bed, he still shirked any public display of affection; he froze at any fleeting touch. He didn't want to people to know, didn't want them to think that he was… well, he wasn't quite sure what they would think, and he wasn't particularly eager to find out. Unfortunately, he could tell that Yuugi's seemingly endless patience did in fact have a limit, and Jounouchi was pushing it with his public shyness. Their present case was a good example. Jounouchi, Yuugi, Honda, Otogi, and Ryou were all relaxing in a local café, unwinding after school. Jounouchi was doing his damnedest to keep at least three inches of space between him and Yuugi. After about five minutes of trying to get closer to him, Yuugi had given up and started eating his food, absently playing with his fries and not contributing much to the banter.
Jounouchi learned that it was difficult to joke around with friends while his lover was pouting, but he didn't do anything. Of all people, Jounouchi was most afraid of his friends finding out. True, they were his friends… but even the best of friends could be separated, and god only knew how they would react… and since Jounouchi was not a god, he didn't dare risk letting them know. As it stood he was sure that Honda suspected something, guessing by the looks that he kept giving them.
There was a gentle caress to Jounouchi's thigh; he brushed it away, his movements covert and urgent, but Yuugi tugged at his wrist. Their three friends were oblivious of the small war of hands under the table. Jounouchi turned to look at Yuugi, and for a second the whole world seemed to pause.
Written on the table in front of Yuugi were the words "I love you." Well, shaped, really. The message was crudely made using fries, with an angular heart representing the word "love," but the meaning was the same. Jounouchi didn't move, almost didn't breathe: just stared at the fries. He felt a jumble of confusion and surprise and joy and fear. Something seemed to tug at his heart, and it felt so strange, the stirring of emotion in his stomach…! Yuugi had never said anything like that before.
Ah, Yuugi… His small lover was smiling at him, and Jounouchi realized that he meant it, that Yuugi loved him.
"Hey man." Honda interrupted the moment, and the world around Jounouchi seemed to be set back into motion again, sickeningly quick and unwelcome. "Are you all right? I haven't seen you look like that since you got the money for Shizuka's surgery."
"Yea," Ryou agreed softly.
"I-" Jounouchi felt panic rise in his chest, disrupting and overcoming that warm and fuzzy feeling that had been there just seconds before. He couldn't explain! He reached over and took one the fries from Yuugi's message, popping into his mouth. "S'nothing."
Immediately Otogi burst into laughter. "Leave it to Jou to get all choked up over food!"
But Yuugi was not laughing. In fact, he was giving Jounouchi a death glare that could've made Kaiba cringe.
"I need to use the restroom," he snapped, standing and leaving quickly. Jounouchi resisted the urge to groan. Yuugi was pissed. No, more than pissed: seething. Smoldering. Hell, maybe "really, really fucking mad" was the best phrase. It was certainly the only way Jounouchi could describe the look that was on Yuugi's face as he stomped off.
"Was it just me, or did he look really ticked?" Honda wondered.
"Uh, lemme go check," Jounouchi said hastily, standing so suddenly that he bumped into the table "Be right back." He didn't run to the bathroom, not wanting to seem TOO eager. Or scared shitless.
He definitely qualified for option two.
Yuugi was leaning against the far wall of the bathroom, glaring up into space in a very un-Yuugi manner.
"Yuug'-"
"Go."
"But Yuugi-"
"Fuck you."
Jounouchi cringed. Perhaps "really, really fucking mad" was even an understatement. "Look, about what you said - uh, wrote -"
"It obviously doesn't matter, because I broke one of the infallible Jounouchi Katsuya's Rules of Dating!" Yuugi took an innocent posture, faking contemplation with a finger to his lips. "I wonder which one? Oh, right, how could I have forgotten," the mask of innocence was dropped, revealing Yuugi in all his anger as he spat, "rule number one: Jounouchi is only gay in private."
"But I-"
"I know! You've said it a hundred times: you're worried what people will think. What's the fucking point of 'being together' if it's only in private? I don't think that's what it should be about! And damn it, Jounouchi, today these were our friends! They won't care!"
Jounouchi could feel himself flushing with anger; his hands shook ever so slightly as he finally snapped and argued, "What's wrong with keeping our relationship private? Would you prefer to parade me around and show me off like some bitch?"
Yuugi laughed. Not his usual laugh of joy or amusement, but a humorless laugh, one that made Jounouchi pause with the utter coldness of it. "Is THAT what it's about? Are you scared to let the world see that you're not so tough in everything you do? Afraid people won't think you're a threat when they find out you're topped by a boy - and not just a boy, but the shortest, wimpiest, most helpless kid in our school? Ashamed, Jounouchi?"
Jounouchi blushed with embarrassment, flushed with anger; he could see his reflection in the mirror, and he was quite the interesting shade of red. Before he could come up with any comment to Yuugi's taunts the bathroom door opened. Both teens whirled around to see Otogi standing there, a look of curious astonishment on his face… Then again, if Jounouchi had walked in on… well, himself and Yuugi arguing, he would be surprised too.
"Hi, Otogi," Yuugi said impatiently, no friendliness to his voice. He didn't look any less angry.
"Uh, is everything okay in here?" Otogi asked slowly, taking a small step back. Jounouchi was almost amused; even Otogi backed away when faced with the wrath of Yuugi.
"No, it's not okay!" Yuugi shouted, and Otogi took another step back. Yuugi continued, "And you want to know why everyone is so not all right? BECAUSE I CAN MAKE JOUNOUCHI SCREAM AND HE'S ASHAMED OF THAT!" With that booming proclamation Yuugi stormed out of the bathroom, straight past Otogi, leaving Jounouchi and Otogi staring at each other.
"What just happened?" Otogi asked. "Was that really Yuugi, or some clever trick to scare me out of my pants?"
"Why would I want you out of your pants?" Jounouchi said wearily, propping his elbows on a nearby sink and letting his entire posture sag. "It's complicated."
"Anything that makes Yuugi act like that is worth hearing, even if it takes me to my old age to hear it all."
"Ugh. It's not pretty." Jounouchi stood and walked out of the bathroom. Otogi followed wordlessly all the way to the table.
"What was that?" Honda asked. "Where did Yuugi just go?"
What good could be accomplished by hiding it? Jounouchi took a fry and replaced the one he had eaten. He pointed to Yuugi's message and closed his eyes as everyone looked. It was silence at first.
"Are you two lovers?" Ryou croaked, and Jounouchi nodded, opening his eyes. Ryou was blushing.
"Man!" Otogi said. "I knew you were stupid, but this takes the cake."
"Ouch. What's that supposed to mean?" Jounouchi demanded.
"What guy eats a love confession?" Honda cut in. "You and your stupid pride; even I know when to quit."
Jounouchi stared.
"You need to fix this," Honda continued.
"Fix it?"
"Of course!" Ryou contributed passionately. "If he loves you, you can't just let him…" Ryou paused and looked slightly embarrassed.
Otogi continued more calmly, "Let him sit for today, and talk to him tomorrow."
Jounouchi nodded and ate another fry from Yuugi's message. He didn't want to leave Yuugi to sit. He wanted… he wanted to tell Yuugi that he wasn't a wimp, or helpless… he was just really short. He wanted to say that he was sorry he was ashamed. He wanted…
"All right," he said softly, eating another fry. "Tomorrow."
- touch yer toes! -
Ha! Author didn't say! …sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.
Well… we just sort of stepped out the boundaries of humor (though we did try to sneak a little bit in)… is it horrible?
There was something really cute about saying "I love you" with fries. But anyway, I could see Yuugi having the ability to be very vindictive. I mean, even the nicest person has a mean streak once in a while.
So I don't have much to say. v.v Oh! to… uhm, someone *names elude me right now* who asked, I don't have it all typed, but I have it all written in my notebook. I outlined it shortly after I started it. If I don't give myself some structure, I'll run in circles. ^_^