Same song, different verse. Don't own...blah blah blah, don't sue..Blah blah blah.
Fiction, etc. There is some Mary Sue in this, but it's not blatant.
Again copyrighted story, Sash and I DO own the story line. No taking, nobody gets hurt.
"She did it again."
"Ha. There she goes. She can't laugh that hard without fainting." He informed his awed brother. His grin was feral. "You just wait until my ankle's healed, honeybunches."
Leppress's head swung around to face him, her jaw unhinged. "Honeybunches?"
Vergil snorted, holding on to the unconscious woman in his arms. "Kiss my oh so fine ass, lover boy."
"Heh. Can dish it out as well as he can." He pursed his lips, blowing mocking kisses at him. "You're going to have to bring it closer. Someone made me an invalid."
"Kinda got my hands full with Sleeping Beauty here, but give me a minute and I'll be glad to join you, you sex god, love of my life." Before him, Sash's head rolled, her eyes fluttering open, trying to assimilate the fact that she was standing up.
"What the hell…?"Her voice was a confused whisper. Nevertheless, it created a flurry of activity around her as Dante bounced, grinning.
"Oh! She's up! Come here and fulfill every girl's fantasy, you hunk of a half devil!" His voice was a screech, so out of place with him it made Leppress chortle slightly. Vergil's smile curled like a lazy cat in front of the fire as he looked down at Sash, setting her carefully on her feet. "Hey Sleeping Beauty. You ok?" She nodded, gripping his shoulders tightly as she attempted to regain her balance. "I was just gonna go fuck my brother, but since you're awake, now you can watch!" His grin bordered on psychotic as he turned towards the couch with a dramatic sigh. "Goody! I'm coming my love!"
"I would have never believed it." Leppress was almost beyond the point of common sense as she watched the tableau developing before her.
Sash sat down on the floor hard as Vergil let her go, her eyes huge. "I know I told him to let loose…but this is almost too much."
The twins spared one look towards them, some well kept secret in their smiles. Vergil pounced. He landed on top of Dante with a muted thump, the force of the hit making the couch tip over slightly. Terrified at possibly tipping over, Leppress dove off the couch and onto the floor, landing on top of Sash, whose eyes were owlish as she looked on. Dante arched upwards, flipping Vergil and himself over the top of the couch and onto the floor behind it. The front legs of the couch fell back to the ground with a thump.
"Ow. Fuck you're fat, Vergil!" Vergil's voice rose in tone and pitch, both brothers hid from view by the massive couch they had almost toppled over.
"Oh God, yes, baby! YES! YOU ARE GOD!"
Leppress belted out a laugh, not only at the words, but at the tone in which he said them, holding on to her convulsing stomach. "Ow, my stomach!"
"OH yes…fuck me!!…. YES!"
Hilarity was replaced by amused terror as Dante's voice became as high pitched as his brother's. "Fuck! No! Not the Mickey Mouse voice!" She begged. None of them paid attention obviously, by the loud panting that could be heard from behind the couch. Sash was laughing again, her open palm hitting against the floor in an effort to restrain herself, but it was no use. Her eyes widened enough to occupy half her face as words reached them from the other side of the couch.
"Oh my god, you're so BIG!" Yes, Dante could definitively squeal like a girl. Vergil hissed.
"Take it like a real man, you bitch…God, I love it when you're nasty!"
"Fucking hell!" Words came between gasps as the girls held on to each other against the onslaught of hilarity.
"How about you get to be my bitch for a change?" Dante's attitude all but spilled over the back of the couch, followed by a series of scrapes and thumps that had the females staring straight at the old couch in wonder and slight disgust.
"What the hell are they doing?" The breathless whisper was followed by a high-pitched giggle as Sash lost her balance, falling forward onto the floor.
"Yaoi heaven!" She squealed, tears streaming down her face as Leppress wiped similar tears from her own cheeks.
"Oh, yes you big hunk of a man. SPANK ME BABY!" Dante's voice held an edge of amusement as this outburst.
"Who's taking it like whose bitch now, huh?"
"Oh god, make them stop!" Sash fell back, her head banging cleanly against the floor as she tried, and failed, to regain a semblant of civility. Like a half crazed jack in the box, Vergil popped up from behind the couch, eyes alight and hair in disarray, a wild smile on his lips.
"Yaoi my ass! This is LOVE!" A hand popped from behind the couch, wrapping itself around his shirt before pulling him back down.
"Shut the fuck up and kiss me. I know better things you can do with your lips."
"Oh, you're my master baby…" Vergil's words were slightly muffled. Somehow.
"Oh sweet mother of god." Leppress was having problems breathing, thinking, and basically doing anything that wasn't laughing like a veritable loon.
"It hurts!" Sash curled up in an attempt to contain spasming belly muscles.
"Oh baby, that's what he's saying!" Vergil commented loudly over the couch, his voice still pitched high. "Hurts so good, baby!"
"Much better, bitch." There was amused pride in Dante's voice as a series of muffled noises cut him off. " Ooh…let's make it hurt some more, shall we?"
"I'm your bitch for life!"
"I can't breathe…stop now!"
"I've fallen in love with a pervert!" Dismay coated Sash's words as she heard his vow of undying love. Servitude. Whatever Vergil was actually vowing to be.
"Now say after me, 'Daddy Dante owns my ass'."
"And you love it Sash!" Vergil bounced back up over the couch, blowing his very messy bangs out of his face. "Oh, and Daddy Dante owns my ass, you slut!" He sneered at a particular spot below him before diving back behind the couch.
"They're fucking insane!" Leppress howled.
"God! Make them stop! Please!"
"Slut? You're my bitch, Vergil. And an easy one, too."
"OUCH! You fuck; did you have to do that so fucking hard? But...Oh I love it!! Do it again!! You're my whore admit it!"
"Harder? Sheesh, you're harder to please than Lep! But you take it so very well..."
"Oh baby! Yessssssss make me cum!"
"Oh my god! He didn't just say that, did he?" Leppress turned to Sash with watering eyes while the younger woman bit her hand hard to stop the laughter while she wiped tears from her eyes. "Ow. Ow. Ow. My stomach's all knotted up!"
"Oh, like that, don't we? Come on, Honeybunches, you can do it!" Dante encouraged.
"Oh yesssssss precious, honey, sweety, lover.... Oh my sweetest baby cakes...Demean me you gorgeous hunk of bitch you!" There was a low thump as Sash flopped belly first onto the floor with a soft whine almost disguised by Leppress's squeal.
"Stooooooooooop.... cant take it anymore..."
"Can't laugh any...more…going...to...........die................"
"Fuck yeah, BABY! Fuck me all the WAY!" Dante took no pity on their begging, even as Sash began an arduous crawl towards the back of the couch on her belly.
Vergil's voice rose in the highest pitch imaginable to mankind. "Ooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss baby!"
"Stop them…. Sash…Stop the insanity!"
"Oh yes, that's my bitch!" Dante's voice was a squeal.
"I'm your bitch for life baby!" Vergil squealed almost as loudly as his brother, making Sash snort and roll on her back, loosing her balance.
"I cannot believe that sound came from him..." She muttered, mostly to herself, the words covered easily by Dante's grunt.
"Oh baby!" Vergil popped over the edge of the couch one last time, offering Sash a smoldering look where she lay, eyes bright through his fall of hair, his tongue peaking out to lick his upper lip. "Oh, believe it, baby." He was yanked down once again with a whoop as the younger woman cracked up again. "Oh, my love!"
Sash rose with what little determination she could muster, dragging herself the final few feet towards the couch, spilling on the ground until only her head and shoulders were in view of the area behind the couch the two brothers had been inhabiting in relative peace until then. Dante and Vergil were comfortably sitting on the ground, their backs towards the couch, looking oddly rumpled. Dante was the first to react to her presence, his face splitting with a grin, voice pitched high.
"Threesome!" Vergil grinned as he reached for her, pulling her completely behind the couch and onto him, due to her lack of balance as she bent in half in a fit of giggles. "Oomph! Guess you got your sandwich, babe!"
"Hey…wait!" Leppress scrambled her way across the room, watching Sash disappear into the black void of confusion that had become the back of the couch. She managed to crawl over the couch, only to top forward face first. Ouch!, her mind thought, seen images of her own broken head as it collided with the floor, but Dante was faster, snatching her out of the air with a grin. "Jackpot!"
"ORGY!" Vergil announced with a grin that had Sash in stitches as she tried to get up, only to fall face first on his lap. He laughed, eyebrows wriggling. "Well she knows what she's doing! Go for it with gusto babe!" She bit his leg, albeit without any strength. "Oh, she wants to play!"
"I'm dying!" Leppress's breath hitched as she tried to recover, facing a smirking Dante. "It hurts!"
"Gives a whole new meaning to multiple orgasms, doesn't it?" He pulled her up as she bent over. "Easy, Lep!"
"Cant…in knots…"
"Careful, Ver, she's looking purplish again." Dante's head cocked towards the fallen Sash, who was twitching spastically with laughter.
"Speak for yourself, Snookums." Vergil blew him a kiss as he pointed towards an equally red in the face Leppress.
"She'll never compare to the stud of a man you are, Snookums, but she'll do for now." Dante's grin turned diabolical. She squeaked.
Vergil's eyes widened, his smile flashing and gone before they could see it and he was off again, lifting Sash in his arms and in front of him while he squealed. "Oh a MOUSE! Save me!" He grinned as Sash began to laugh again, holding on to him as hard as she could.
"I don't want to know what those hands have touched, Ver!"
"There's a big, mean mouse! Save me PLEASE!"
"Stop!" Leppress demanded, laughing hard enough to make her entire frame shake.
"Oh, honeybunches, a mouse?" Dante looked politely concerned, an arm firmly around the woman coming unglued near him before he grinned. "If I gave a fuck, I'd save your delectable little ass, but I don't."
"For the love of the entire human race, stop!"
"Oh, but you did give a fuck. And you gave it very well, but I have my own hero!" His arms tightened on Sash as she dropped her head on his shoulder, missing Dante's choirboy smile.
"She's making the most amusing sounds." Vergil commented as Sash gasped into his shirt, fighting for breath. Dante cocked his head to the side, pensive.
"Hmm... True. I wonder what all she was listening to." He grinned innocently as Vergil looked inquiringly at the woman in his arms. "But...why? Me and baby cakes here were just loving each other."
She snorted loudly, gasping. "I can't laugh anymore… oh god..."
"Baby cakes? Whose baby cakes got unbabyfied here?" Dante demanded with a smile.
Leppress wheezed, choking on her own laughter. "Baby cakes!"
"Oh ok fine." He gave in reluctantly. Sash stood still, waiting for them to crack the next joke that would send them into a new spate of hilarity. Vergil grinned at Dante. Dante grinned at Vergil.
Leppress squeaked. "Oh no."
"The two of you are terrible!" Sash scolded, beating on Vergil's shoulder with no strength whatsoever.
"… Honeybunches." Dante's voice was a whisper.
"My little snooty wootums sugarcakes."
Sash groaned. Leppress snorted. They hiccupped. Dante's smile turned into a self-satisfied smirk.
"Oh no! NOT hiccups!"
"ACK!" Her hand splayed wide against her chest as her diaphragm bounced around, eyes wide. It hurt! "Ow. Fuck me! That hurts!" For all her passiveness, the women seemed to change parts, Sash becoming the sailor while Leppress stared owlish, shaking with each hiccup.
"Is that a proposition?" Vergil turned interested eyes towards the woman shaking almost rhythmically as she tried to breathe normally.
"Ow. Dammit." Hiccups broke her words, but something in Vergil's eyes made her laugh again, the chortling cut short by a vicious hiccup as Leppress collapsed into a heap again. "FUCK!"
"Great, they broke. A little love goes a loooong ways, doesn't it Ver?"
"Oh ouch!" Leppress abandoned all semblance of politeness. "Hic...my Hic...fucking...hic.... stomach."
"Hic…Ah! Oh god it hurts!! Hic… stop them...." The brother's grins turned downright feral.
Leppress's eyes widened as she backed away slowly with an inquisitive look. "What?" She backed straight into Vergil before Dante pounced on her, knocking her easily into his brother. Sash was knocked off Vergil and onto the floor with a new collection of hiccupping noises. "Ack! Hi hic!"
"Oh fuck." She writhed on the next hiccup.
"Hiya sweety!" Vergil's eyes crossed as he stared intently at Leppress, wriggling his eyebrows at her.
"Oh god!"
"Who the fuck slipped him crack?" Sash demanded, hiccups all but forgotten as she laughed yet again.
Vergil moved easily from underneath Leppress, rolling onto her with a smile. "You screeched?"
"No, no, no, Sash, dearest. We didn't slip him crack but IN the crack." Dante pointed out with a grin.
Leppress snorted, giggling. "Nooooooohicoooooooooohicoooooooofuckithic."
"Owie." Sash snorted, looking from Dante to Vergil as he loomed over her, but Dante wasn't looking at her.
"As you please. One order of fuck it, coming right up!"
"And lover boy you are so good..." Vergil remarked with dreamy eyes. Sash punched down on the floor again, wriggling.
"Yeah, I know I'm good."
"Stop it Dante!"
Vergil grinned from her to his brother. "But snookums I want it again." He pouted as Dante licked his lips.
"Gah! Hic!"
"Stop it right now or I'm calling all the yaoi fan girls over!" Sash threatened, with little success as Vergil's hand rose dramatically to his forehead and he yelped.
"Oh my whatever will we do? Oh SAAAAAAAAVE ME DANTEWANTE!"
"Oh sweet Jesus!" Leppress's eyes rolled. Sash was reduced to begging with a teary laugh.
"Ohgodpleasestop...I'll do anything, just stop!" "I say hic amen sista!"
" OH WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERGIL!"
"I say Hallelujah my brother! Can you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it!" Not to be undone, Vergil's voice rose yet again in the most god-awful televangelist voice any of them had ever heard. Sash's head rose only to drop back on the floor with a bang as she laughed. Leppress stared at Vergil with horror.
"OH MY GOD!"
Dante's distressed whimper rose above her awed exclamation. "Oh no! Whatever did you do to my snookums?"
"Yes, that's the general idea." Vergil turned seriously to Leppress before switching back to his mock televangelist imitation. "Tell me brother, CAN YOU FEEEEL IT!! SAY AMEN!" His head dropped, only to come back up on a grin. "Snookums found the light...the light of his life...My brother, my god of love...my lover boy super stud!"
"Oh please...anything you want.... just stop." Sash collapsed again, the words echoing loudly in her ears, making her bust a gut for the umpteenth time that night.
Leppress wasn't far behind while Dante grinned unashamedly.
"Please?"
"Snookums?"
"What, my love?"
"What ya think? Do we take them up on the offer?"
Vergil paused, thoughtful. "Hmm....Nah."
"Oh no!" Despair dripped from Leppress's words. Sash ruined her graceful pout with a hiccup that had her jumping. "Fuck!" Her eyelashes batted softly at Vergil. "Vergil, please!"
"Can you feel it brother, say amen!" With nary an evil grin, the older Sparda resumed his mocking speech, smacking his brother's ass in the process.
"Hic oh...fucking...hic...hell..."
"Mrrrw, brother Vergil...oh, I can feel it alright." Dante licked his lips, wriggling his butt much to the females' amusement.
"Sweet god…just kill me." Sash lay immobile, except for the occasional snort and hiccup she didn't seem to be able to control.
"I say yes my brother!"
"No, you say 'yes master'." Dante corrected with a soft grin. Leppress gave up with a snort, deciding to join the fun.
"Well...hic...we...could.... always...say...the...umm...hic...Our Father?"
"No amateurs please this is our show." Vergil replied almost snootily while Sash did her best to roll away from the assorted nuts she had landed in between of.
"Air.... need air." She didn't get too far, as Vergil grabbed her suddenly, getting to his feet and pulling her way above his head. Her eyes widened as she looked down, her feet dangling several feet in the air. "We have here a pooooooooor soul who has been lost to the ways of sin...Say amen..."
Dante goosed Leppress as she watched, entranced.
"Gah!"
"She needs to be cleansed of the bad spirit that has taken her...Amen."
"Oh my god." Leppress could see the blood drain from Sash's face as she dug her nails in Vergil's shoulders, choking slightly on her own words.
"The fuck? Vergil put me down! Heights bad!" She begged.
He paid no attention to her, but turned to Leppress with a wink.
"That's the idea, yes. You catch on quick. Tell her Snookums."
Dante immediately complied with the request by wrapping his arms around Leppress and pulling her back, grinning like an idiot.
"Heh. I found another lost little lamb."
"She shall be saved! Saved I tell you!"
"Oh have I died and went to hell?" She hiccupped yet again, looking at Dante with owlish eyes.
"Put me down!" Sash was pale, her eyes wide as she looked down, hyperventilating slightly. Vergil smirked at her before letting her slide down his body until her eyes crossed. "Heaven, my dear, heaven." He grinned at her. "Oh goddess. You are insane, Vergil." She hung, mostly boneless from his neck, relieved at being able to feel the ground under her feet. That, at least, was good.
"Insane? Why no, I am perfectly sane thank you."
Leppress hiccupped, laughing as she snorted at Vergil's utterly serious tone. Sash giggled, tripping over her own feet and collapsing against his chest. Dante laughed, shaking his head slowly.
"That was fun. Let's do it again." Vergil smiled at the idea.
Leppress panicked. "No. Nonononohicno."
"Love you, crazy boy." She whispered in Vergil's ear, rubbing her nose against his neck, making him grin.
"Love you too silly girl. I say amen." He grinned at her panicked expression, particularly when a savage hiccup broke it.
Dante jumped to his feet, grabbing a hold of Leppress as he swung her into his arms and over his shoulder with practiced ease.
"Hey! I thought…hic...you...were...hurt?"
"I heal fast."
"Oh hic...yeah...hic.... stop staring at my chest."
"But...How will I ever manage without my sugar honey pie?" Grinning against Sash's neck, Vergil whined.
"Wont...I be enough?"
"Yeah you will."
"Well, he does have a point there." Dante smirked, listening to Vergil's mock whining.
Leppress smacked his back softly, hanging upside down on his shoulder as she was.
"Ok go play drag queen if you must. But I'll just find another toy to play with while you're at it." She threatened. He simply laughed at her.
"That was fun." He grinned. "This will be better."
"Will it?"
"Fuck yes."
"Mmm. Take me Snookums then, take me!" Her voice was mocking.
"Gladly."
"So, what was this about a goddess? I thought I was your god?" Vergil grinned softly at Sash. Her expression turned serious.
"You are."
"Perfect." He smiled.