* * * * *
Part II: Hoshi Again
What started as a simple, albeit slightly awkward, "zip this up for me, will ya?" situation was now reclassified as the most embarrassing moment of my life. God, you think that birthday fiasco was embarrassing? No, this one was so far off the scales that it made all the other moments run screaming into their mother's arms.
I stared in absolute horror at the spot on Malcolm's neck. The spot I had licked. The spot that now glistened happily at me. If it had been a living thing I would have killed it right there. Out damned spot! Out I say! Still it winked happily in the shuttlepod lights. I ran my tongue over my teeth. Wonder if it'd be so happy if I bit it?
No. Wait.
Obviously I was losing my mind if I thought biting Malcolm's neck was going to make this better.
Unless I was a vampire. In which case this whole incident would make a lot of sense. You see, Malcolm, your neck looked so good I just had to lick it. An appetizer to the main course, if you will.
Whimper.
Dear God, I needed help. The kind that involved padded walls.
"You're done," Malcolm finally managed to croak out after my mental relapse, speaking of the wayward top that was the cause of this descent into the Let's-Never-Speak-Of-This-Ever-Again land. Okay, not quite the godsend I was looking for but good enough. Get me out of here.
Leaping away from him like a hot potato from an unsuspecting hand, it was a moment before I could understand why he was gawking at me, or rather, at my chest. It was bare.
My barely-there confection of a top decided to hang on to Malcolm's finger instead of staying on my chest. Traitor.
"JESUS BLOODY MOTHER OF--" All kinds of profanity, words I didn't know Malcolm was capable of saying much less knowing, shot out of his mouth as he jumped at me. His arms wound tightly around me, his upper-body covering my semi-nude state as the litany of curses continued.
I stood dumbly in his embrace, feeling his shoulders shake with each word. People these days don't have aneurysms anymore. Of course, I wasn't certain whether to tell Malcolm that, since his heart was palpitating so fast, his head was close to exploding. Among other things.
"What on earth are you two doing?" came a voice behind my back.
Since Captain Archer was neither deaf, blind, nor dumb--on most days anyway, as can be said for all men--there was no way in hell we were going to keep this situation contained. Not with my top on Malcolm's finger and Malcolm on top of me. Malcolm's cursing didn't help either.
"Hugging?" I supplied lamely. I couldn't see what Captain Archer's reaction was, but I doubt he believed me. Heck, I wouldn't have believed me.
"Her..." Malcolm paused, "shirt..." (for lack of a better word, I'm sure), "fell off, sir."
Pause for incredulousness on Captain Archer's part.
"On your finger?" I couldn't see Captain Archer's face, but he was so not buying it. Damn it, he didn't have to sound so amused.
Malcolm made a gurgling noise. Good to know I was capable of making men regress to their infant states.
"He was just trying to put it back on, Captain," I said, sighing.
"Right." Silence. Cute, that was real cute. He thought he was being quiet about his laughing, but he'd obviously forgotten who he was talking to. Or maybe he hadn't. Damn the man! "Okay then, carry on."
Oh, he'll get his one day. I'm sure of it. Cross that, I'll make sure of it. Malcolm wasn't too happy either. I could actually hear his teeth grinding next to my ear. But why is it I couldn't resist the silly loopy grin on my face? The kind that you can actually feel stretching across your face? The kind that, the kind that, with accompanying horns and a pointed tail, would most likely scare children and those weak of heart?
"You could have just turned around and handed me a blanket, you know." Hee hee.
He froze. I angled my head away from him, an ill-conceived attempt to cover my grin. Too late.
Groaning, he released me, keeping his eyes away from my general direction before reaching into the compartment behind him for a blanket. "Why do you have to be so...so..." he muttered under his breath.
"Fluent?"
"Exasperating!"
"Oh, so I get a rise out of you, do I?" Ohh, that was a good one. Bad Hoshi, bad!
He keeled over at that comment. Ah, the force of my personality overwhelmed him.
Waving that blanket like a proverbial white flag, he kept his line of sight confined to the back of the shuttlepod.
I carefully wrapped the blanket around my chest. No way this sucker was falling off.
"So...are you planning to keep my top as a souvenir?" Perfectly reasonable question, don't you think? I certainly thought so.
It must have been too much for him, though. He looked from me, wearing almost nothing but a blanket, to my itsy bitsy, teeny weenie top then back again in complete confusion.
You know I always did wonder if it was true what they said about men not having enough blood to operate both, no we won't go there. But I have always wondered.
After another double take his brain finally connected the question to the article of clothing on his finger. Another round of amazing expletives erupted from Malcolm's mouth as he pointed his finger at me.
"If you two are done...doing whatever it is you're doing back there, the shuttle's docked," Captain Archer's amused voice called from the ladder.
Rat bastard. I will have my revenge, I swear on all the dead goldfish my brother had growing up. With as much dignity as one could have wearing almost nothing but a blanket, I snatched up my bikini top and stalked over to the ladder. Double-checking to make sure my blanket was secure--yeah, the last thing I needed was a repeat performance for Trip and anyone else in the shuttle bay--I started to climb.
Another explosive round of swearing from below me told me that Malcolm had attempted to climb and then ended up looking up my blanket.
A smirk lifted my lips. Well, it was late but I got a reaction to my clothing.
I, Hoshi Sato, am so bad. I rock!
* * * * *
TBC
Part II: Hoshi Again
What started as a simple, albeit slightly awkward, "zip this up for me, will ya?" situation was now reclassified as the most embarrassing moment of my life. God, you think that birthday fiasco was embarrassing? No, this one was so far off the scales that it made all the other moments run screaming into their mother's arms.
I stared in absolute horror at the spot on Malcolm's neck. The spot I had licked. The spot that now glistened happily at me. If it had been a living thing I would have killed it right there. Out damned spot! Out I say! Still it winked happily in the shuttlepod lights. I ran my tongue over my teeth. Wonder if it'd be so happy if I bit it?
No. Wait.
Obviously I was losing my mind if I thought biting Malcolm's neck was going to make this better.
Unless I was a vampire. In which case this whole incident would make a lot of sense. You see, Malcolm, your neck looked so good I just had to lick it. An appetizer to the main course, if you will.
Whimper.
Dear God, I needed help. The kind that involved padded walls.
"You're done," Malcolm finally managed to croak out after my mental relapse, speaking of the wayward top that was the cause of this descent into the Let's-Never-Speak-Of-This-Ever-Again land. Okay, not quite the godsend I was looking for but good enough. Get me out of here.
Leaping away from him like a hot potato from an unsuspecting hand, it was a moment before I could understand why he was gawking at me, or rather, at my chest. It was bare.
My barely-there confection of a top decided to hang on to Malcolm's finger instead of staying on my chest. Traitor.
"JESUS BLOODY MOTHER OF--" All kinds of profanity, words I didn't know Malcolm was capable of saying much less knowing, shot out of his mouth as he jumped at me. His arms wound tightly around me, his upper-body covering my semi-nude state as the litany of curses continued.
I stood dumbly in his embrace, feeling his shoulders shake with each word. People these days don't have aneurysms anymore. Of course, I wasn't certain whether to tell Malcolm that, since his heart was palpitating so fast, his head was close to exploding. Among other things.
"What on earth are you two doing?" came a voice behind my back.
Since Captain Archer was neither deaf, blind, nor dumb--on most days anyway, as can be said for all men--there was no way in hell we were going to keep this situation contained. Not with my top on Malcolm's finger and Malcolm on top of me. Malcolm's cursing didn't help either.
"Hugging?" I supplied lamely. I couldn't see what Captain Archer's reaction was, but I doubt he believed me. Heck, I wouldn't have believed me.
"Her..." Malcolm paused, "shirt..." (for lack of a better word, I'm sure), "fell off, sir."
Pause for incredulousness on Captain Archer's part.
"On your finger?" I couldn't see Captain Archer's face, but he was so not buying it. Damn it, he didn't have to sound so amused.
Malcolm made a gurgling noise. Good to know I was capable of making men regress to their infant states.
"He was just trying to put it back on, Captain," I said, sighing.
"Right." Silence. Cute, that was real cute. He thought he was being quiet about his laughing, but he'd obviously forgotten who he was talking to. Or maybe he hadn't. Damn the man! "Okay then, carry on."
Oh, he'll get his one day. I'm sure of it. Cross that, I'll make sure of it. Malcolm wasn't too happy either. I could actually hear his teeth grinding next to my ear. But why is it I couldn't resist the silly loopy grin on my face? The kind that you can actually feel stretching across your face? The kind that, the kind that, with accompanying horns and a pointed tail, would most likely scare children and those weak of heart?
"You could have just turned around and handed me a blanket, you know." Hee hee.
He froze. I angled my head away from him, an ill-conceived attempt to cover my grin. Too late.
Groaning, he released me, keeping his eyes away from my general direction before reaching into the compartment behind him for a blanket. "Why do you have to be so...so..." he muttered under his breath.
"Fluent?"
"Exasperating!"
"Oh, so I get a rise out of you, do I?" Ohh, that was a good one. Bad Hoshi, bad!
He keeled over at that comment. Ah, the force of my personality overwhelmed him.
Waving that blanket like a proverbial white flag, he kept his line of sight confined to the back of the shuttlepod.
I carefully wrapped the blanket around my chest. No way this sucker was falling off.
"So...are you planning to keep my top as a souvenir?" Perfectly reasonable question, don't you think? I certainly thought so.
It must have been too much for him, though. He looked from me, wearing almost nothing but a blanket, to my itsy bitsy, teeny weenie top then back again in complete confusion.
You know I always did wonder if it was true what they said about men not having enough blood to operate both, no we won't go there. But I have always wondered.
After another double take his brain finally connected the question to the article of clothing on his finger. Another round of amazing expletives erupted from Malcolm's mouth as he pointed his finger at me.
"If you two are done...doing whatever it is you're doing back there, the shuttle's docked," Captain Archer's amused voice called from the ladder.
Rat bastard. I will have my revenge, I swear on all the dead goldfish my brother had growing up. With as much dignity as one could have wearing almost nothing but a blanket, I snatched up my bikini top and stalked over to the ladder. Double-checking to make sure my blanket was secure--yeah, the last thing I needed was a repeat performance for Trip and anyone else in the shuttle bay--I started to climb.
Another explosive round of swearing from below me told me that Malcolm had attempted to climb and then ended up looking up my blanket.
A smirk lifted my lips. Well, it was late but I got a reaction to my clothing.
I, Hoshi Sato, am so bad. I rock!
* * * * *
TBC