129

Rose sighed. As far as she could tell, all the preparations had been made. So why was she delaying? But she knew, of course she knew. Her parting with Angel had been hard enough, but saying good-bye to Spike..,

She went in and sat on the bed, and spent several minutes, just looking at him, engraving again on her memory every little detail about his appearance. But of course, that was all it was, appearance, not the true Spike. The animated Spike, laughing, swearing, angry, loving, smart-assed Spike. That was who he really was. She removed the stasis. "Wake up, love," she said softly, carefully crafting a cheerful smile for him.

His eyes shot open. "How'd you move around without me noticing, pet?" He sat up and gave her a quizzical look.

Rose sat cross-legged, facing him, and gestured for him to do the same. "This may take a bit of explaining," she said slowly. "But please, please promise that you'll hear me out."

Spike still looked confused. "Of course I will, luv. Wish you didn't think you had to ask."

"Normally, if there ever was a normal, I wouldn't have," Rose replied. "But this is very important. Too important to take chances with."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Are you going to get around to it sometime today then?"

"Did you know that ever since you.., sacrificed yourself at the Hellmouth, The Powers That Be have been debating over you?" Of course, she knew he didn't, but it was a place to start.

"Over me?" His whole face was a question mark. Then, a hint of suspicion set in. "And just how did you manage to come across this bit of information, precious?"

"I think you've already worked that one out, haven't you?" she replied, looking down. "It's because I'm one of them. I was sent here to gather more information about you, about whether or not..,"

"I deserved an eternity of torment?" Spike suggested. "I said you'd argue with The Powers themselves for me, didn't I? Didn't know how on the mark I was. Or when I said you were something more than human." His gaze grew soft and loving, a little awed that one of 'them' cared that much about what happened to him. "So, what's the verdict?"

"We won." She smiled at him. "I get to give you your life back, Spike." When he didn't light up at the revelation, her face fell. "What's wrong? Why aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted all along?"

"I'm just a job to you, ain't I?" he asked. When she'd said she could give him his life back it occurred to him that one of The Powers couldn't possibly be in love with him. "Why the hell did you feel that you had to string me along like that? Part of your research?" His tones got louder and angrier. "Dammit, I really love you. How do you see me? A lab rat?"

"No, Spike, no, never," Rose protested. "I was sent here for the sole purpose of gathering information, true. I've never been here before, lived in a human body, lived like a human being. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you. It just.., happened."

His face split into a grin. "That's all that really matters then, isn't it? I'm sorry I got so rude, pet. I was just afraid that you didn't love me as much as I love you. And that means more to me than getting my body back."

"I told you I'd never been in love before," she pointed out. "But that doesn't mean that I couldn't. And I do love you, Spike. So very much."

Spike blew her a kiss. "Is there anything else I need to know before we get started? Because all of a sudden, I just really can't wait till I can kiss you properly."

Rose noticed that he had ignored the fact that as a Power she'd have to leave. But she decided to leave it until later. "The whole process will take about twenty-four hours to complete," she said. "But long before that, you ought to start feeling things, be able to do things. Probably, I think, after about the first hour."

"Why so long?" he inquired. "Thought you'd just be able to wave your hand and hey presto! Spike's back."

"I'd have thought so too," Rose admitted. "But the others have been keeping things from me since I've been here. They elected to do it this way, and I was just so happy to be able to bring you back that I didn't much care how it happened."

"What do we do then?" Spike asked.

Rose held out her hands, palms up. "Just lay your hands on mine, Spike," she directed. "I know you can't feel it, but make it as close as you can. If there's a little overlap it will correct itself as you.., solidify."

Spike obediently did as he was told, and felt a tingle of energy immediately. "So," he said conversationally. "What's the catch? There always is one."

"We have to stay in physical contact with each other for the entire time." Rose smiled, thinking it was no hardship at all, considering how frustrated they'd both been being denied contact. "If we should lose contact, even for a moment, it all goes for nothing. And no second chances."

"I think I could go twenty-four hours touching you, luv," Spike said softly. "Or even longer."

&&&&&&&

That first hour dragged by slowly, but at its end, Rose could start to feel Spike's hands laying on hers. "It's starting to happen, Spike," she said excitedly.

"I know," he replied. One of his hands slid under hers, nudged it upwards, and he bent his head to kiss her palm.

A tingle ran up the length of Rose's arm, starting where his lips had touched her, eliciting a small, surprised gasp.

"Is there any sort of rule that says just what sort of contact is allowed, pet?" Spike inquired. "'Cause I'm thinking there are a lot of ways to be in physical contact with someone."

"Just.., just as long as we're touching," she stammered, feeling an unexpected attack of nerves.

"Good." Spike slid his hands up her bare arms up to her shoulders. With what little effort he could muster, he coaxed her wordlessly to lean towards him. He brought his lips down on hers, feeling them, tasting them, teasing them open to admit his tongue.

Rose's eyes closed of their own volition. She was entirely focused on just experiencing the delicious sensations his kiss elicited. She almost cried out in disappointment when he pulled away from her.

Spike saw the look on her face. "Didn't you like it, precious girl?" he teased gently.

"I didn't want it to stop," she whispered, blushing. "I had no idea..," Her voice trailed away as she found herself unable to adequately express what she was feeling.

Making sure to stay in contact with her, he brought one hand back down the length of her arm, delighting all the while in the soft, satiny skin he could now feel, until he could twine his fingers through hers. "Why don't you shift around this way a bit, luv?" he suggested. "When I have to lean towards you like that, I can't hold you. And I want to hold you."

Rose complied so eagerly that she bumped heads with him.

"Ow. Take it easy, babe. I'm not going anywhere." Spike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, feeling more real by the minute. "You feel good, pet." He inhaled the scent of her. "Smell good too. Is that the perfume I gave you?"

"Yes." Rose snuggled against him. And she'd thought the sensations she'd experienced when she first became human had been overwhelming. She traced a shy finger over his collar bone. "Curious things," she murmured. "So graceful and delicate, and yet so much depends upon them."

Spike suppressed a pleased groan and buried his face in her neck. Nuzzling, kissing and.., pulling away just in time before he bit into it. "What the hell?" He couldn't recall the last time he'd lost control and vamped out while.., necking? He felt more than a little embarrassed, but he couldn't get his features to go back to normal.

"It's all right, Spike," Rose assured him. "I was told that you'd be hungry, and I made provisions for it." She reached up and gently stroked his face, showing no fear or revulsion at his current appearance. She carefully got out of the bed, clutching his hand all the while. He tagged along with her to the kitchen, where she gestured to a thermos sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.

"How do you want to work this, Rose?" he asked. He wasn't at all sure that he wanted her to see him drinking blood, even though he was well aware that she knew that was what vampires did.

"How about like this?" Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, she slipped around behind him, arms wrapped around his waist, face pressed against his bare shoulder.

Spike ignored the bitsy little thermos cup and just tipped the whole thing up and guzzled it down. Normally, he'd have taken a little more enjoyment out of it, but right now, he wanted to concentrate on Rose. Once the thermos was empty, then, he picked up the cup and ran it full of water, took a mouthful and sloshed it around in his mouth before swallowing. He didn't want to be kissing her with blood on his breath.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"You tell me, luv," he answered, turning around without breaking her hold on him. "How do I feel?"

"Absolutely amazing," she mumbled into his shoulder. She could almost feel the burst of vitality the blood had given him.

"Rose?" he said softly. "Look at me, luv." He could say that, now. Now that the hunger had been abated, and he had his features under control again. When she turned her face up to him, he kissed her again, running his hands over her, savoring the feel of her. He began to feel the inevitable physical reaction to such activities. He pressed her close to him so that she could feel it too. "Let me take you to bed, babe," he murmured. "Let me make love to you."

"Yes, please," she replied, running her hands up his chest to twine around his neck.

He tried to pick her up, and surprised himself by actually being able to do it, and carried her back into the bedroom.

&&&&&&

Rose lay cuddled close to Spike, basking in the aftermath of their lovemaking. "Is it always like this?" she queried softly. "I know I didn't know what I was doing..,"

"Hush, pet." He traced the outline of her lips with his finger. "It's different with different people. It's never been like this before, and never will be again." He laughed softly. "I don't know if I could handle it getting any better," he confessed. "It would probably kill me before we got me all back together."

She looked at him in alarm, then realized he was joking. "I just didn't want to disappoint you," she said.

Spike hugged her closer. "You couldn't do that, luv. Not ever." He could feel her hands begin an exploratory journey over his body. "Trying to tell me something, precious?"

She blushed. "I.., I was just wondering if.., Could we do it again?"

&&&&&&&

They spent the whole time of Spike's regeneration in each other's arms. Sometimes making love, but in between, just holding each other and enjoying the closeness. Time sped past at break neck speed. As dawn neared, Rose could begin to feel that the transformation was nearly complete.

Spike was lazily nibbling on an earlobe. "What do you think, luv? You up for another go at it?"

"I don't think we can," Rose whispered. "I think it's almost finished, love."

"And why should that be a problem?" he murmured into her ear. He sighed. "Don't think I could ever get tired of this."

"Spike." At the alarmed and unhappy tones in her voice, he looked up and really took notice.

"What's wrong, babe?" He had a sudden sinking, twisting sensation in his stomach.

"Kiss me please, hurry." Her voice suggested a certain urgency, and since he was more than willing, he complied, pouring all his love and passion into it.

"It's over," Rose said. Her voice sounded a little.., thin. Come to that, something about her didn't look right, either, and he realized in shock and horror that she was becoming transparent.

"What's happening, luv?" He found that he was hugging himself now, as his arms passed right through her.

"I have to go back, beloved." There may not have been any tears on her face, she was probably beyond being able to cry now, but they were evident in her voice.

"No!" Pain and frustration echoed through the tiny apartment as Spike found that he was alone. Again.

&&&&&&&

Spike was trapped in the apartment by the daylight, and he kicked around morosely. He wondered what he was supposed to do when night fell, as the pajama pants he had been wearing had disappeared. When he made his way into the living room he saw the shopping bags, and curiosity got the better of him. And it was all there. Shirt, shoes, pants, even a new duster. He took the clothes in and set them on the bed. Better shower first, after all the activity. No, don't think about that, don't think about how bloody marvelous it had been just to touch her, to hold her, to kiss.., damn. He bathed automatically, and just distanced himself from himself. It did occur to him in a detached fashion that he was washing her scent off him, and reality struck just enough to produce a brief pang of regret. Bathed and dressed, he paced around the place until the sun set. He was just about to go out the door, taking one last look around where he had spent so many happy hours when his gaze fell on Angel's picture. He took it off the wall and tucked it under his arm and walked out, for the last time. He never wanted to see the place again. Without Rose it was dead.

&&&&&&&

Angel had just put his feet up, trying to relax after a long and trying day. And an emotional one as well. Delivering Rose's farewells had almost been as bad as saying good-bye to her himself had been. Fred had burst into tears. Lorne had sniffed and dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief. Wesley had stood there looking like he'd been poleaxed, then turned and left. Only Gunn had been relatively unaffected, because he had seldom had any contact with Rose.

Someone started hammering on his door. Angel swung his feet down and got up, angry at the intrusion. He flung the door wide open intending to give whoever it was hell for bothering him. Then, he saw, Spike. Standing there, looking utterly bereft with his drawing tucked under his arm. They just stood there gaping at each other for a moment, and then Angel remembered.

"Come in, Spike."

Spike entered and gently laid the picture down on the nearest flat surface. "She's gone, Angel. Rose is gone." He startled the hell out of Angel when he started openly weeping.

Feeling more than a little awkward, Angel took the sobbing Spike into his arms and let him cry.

&&&&&&

Epilogue:

Spike had been, at least temporarily, installed in Angel's spare room. He barely emerged, except for occasional trips to the fridge for blood. The rest of the time he spent alone in his room, nursing his broken heart. After a few days of this, though, Angel felt he had to take steps.

"Spike?" He knocked on the bedroom door. "Spike? We need to talk."

Spike flung the door open, then turned away and threw himself face down on the bed. "So talk," he invited in dead tones.

"You can't spend the rest of your life in this room," Angel pointed out. "I know you miss her, Spike, more than any of us. But do you think she worked so hard to bring you back so you could shut everything out?"

"Screw you, Angel," Spike muttered, flipping over. "What have I bloody well got to live for now?"

"Because she would have wanted you to," Angel said gently. "Rose wanted you to be happy, Spike."

"Then why'd she have to go and sodding leave?" Spike shouted, sitting up. "Why'd she leave me?" His voice broke on the last word.

"She's one of The Powers That Be, Spike," Angel explained. "Did you really think she could stay? She has responsibilities that we can't even imagine. Responsibilities that extend far beyond the needs of one vampire, even if he does have a soul."

"I know." Spike capitulated. "I knew all along, I think, once she told me. I just put it out of my mind 'cause I couldn't face it."

"Do you think you could try taking her place in the research department?" Angel suggested. "I know you're not used to keeping regular hours and doing actual work for someone else, but it will give you something to do."

"I guess," Spike answered dispiritedly. "I find that I really don't give a rat's ass."

&&&&&&&

Bright and early Monday morning, Spike reported to Wesley for work, listened patiently to his explanations of what his job entailed, and got down to it. Around mid-morning, though, he got a summons to Angel's office.

Spike entered the office to see the 'old gang' as Lorne termed them, all met. He flopped into a chair unasked and avoided looking at any of them.

"Something strange has been going on," Angel began without preamble.

"And that's unusual at Wolfram and Hart?" Gunn asked.

"People all over the building have been seeing something," Angel went on. "The figure of a woman. They describe her as being of medium height, with reddish-brown hair and gray eyes."

Spike's head snapped up.

"It sounds like Rose," Wesley observed. "But I thought she was supposed to rejoin the rest of The Powers."

"So did I, Wesley," Rose said, appearing in the midst of them.

Spike leaped out of his chair and ran towards her, intending to swing her up in his arms.

He went right through her. "What the.., Oh no, oh god no." It hit him like a ton of bricks. "We just switched places, didn't we, precious?"

"It would seem we did." Rose's apparition went over and stood by him. "I didn't know it was going to be this way, Spike. But it wouldn't have made any difference to me if I had. And we did have one whole day together," she added wistfully.

"Did the rest of The Powers say why they did this?" Fred asked.

"I haven't been able to contact them," Rose confessed. "I don't know what's going on. When I try to go somewhere on my own, I can't even get past the..,"

"City limits," Spike finished for her. He gave a bitter laugh. He looked at Rose. "What are we going to do now, luv?"

"I guess, just what we did before," she replied softly. "If you don't mind me being around. Because trading places didn't change anything. I still love you."

"And I'll always love you, babe," Spike murmured, oblivious to the audience. "You can haunt me forever."

"Upon such sacrifices, my Cordelia, The gods themselves throw incense." King Lear Act V Scene III