[AN: :D I don't know what drove me to write this chapter, but I hope to have a better chapter up after this (now that I'm sure of where I want this story to go, that is). Thanks to pookakitten, Kyosnekozukigirl, Sakura, Lizabeth, Lauryn, Arcia and sniperyingfa for reviews, and chapter 5 will (hopefully) be finished soon.]
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There was that moment, that beautiful second in which everything was calm. The water was still; no voices could be heard from the surrounding sectors, no late night sounds. Her heart beat had steadied to a reasonable point, and she'd managed to pull herself up onto the beach, onto the white sand she loved, staring up at the sky from where she now lay on her back. The sky seemed rather dull tonight; she closed her eyes to it.
Locks of her hair mingled with the sand, small grains peppering her face and clothes. Her eyes had snapped open at the sound of footsteps; voices? Voices.... Coming closer, were they? The tears flowed in a torrent she couldn't stop. She felt helpless and childish, crying alone on the beach, but it was a form of release that she needed. Her body and mind craved it.
"MOMO!!" It was a strange voice, a familiar tone tinged with hysteria and a note of sadness. There was no use in getting up, as she'd have to face whoever it was eventually, so she remained sprawled on the ground, sobs wracking her body more violently. It wasn't long before she looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring back, the ashen face of a friend she knew so well. He looked like a stranger, his eyes watering visibly, looking down on her with the most painful expression she'd ever seen on his face. She couldn't contain the gasp that escaped her lips.
After a brief moment, the glitter in her eyes became a dull, listless glow.
For a long while he tried to say something, though words obviously failed him. Instead, he stood over her, mouthing wordlessly what he wanted to tell her, to no avail. In a sudden surge of movement, MOMO had struggled to her feet and tried to stand straight, quaking slightly and wrapping her arms around him for comfort. She willed herself to stand separate, to handle it by herself. But she couldn't; it was too hard. She leaned gratefully against him.
"I'm okay, Jr... I couldn't help it. But I'm okay now."
The tears continued to fall, despite how she'd tried so hard to stop them. She pulled her lips into what should have been a smile, which failed miserably. Eyes closed in concentration, she made another attempt, pulling away and grinning feebly up at him. She'd done it. She'd conquered the miserable feeling that had set itself in the pit of her stomach, if only for a second or two. She could feel Jr. shiver slightly as he raised a hand to her cheek, looking over the swollen, puffy face of the realian in fascination. She was crying. The realization hit hard.
He wanted to know why. But not now. For now, he was satisfied that she hadn't done anything rash, though that sort of thing was against her nature. Her body went rigid against his own, as she spotted half of the picture, half exposed from its resting spot under the sand; with an ill sound, she turned away. Forget about it, she told herself. Don't look at it. It'll go away.
However, he'd remembered what he wanted to say earlier. "KOS-MOS showed us the picture... But... Was it really you?" Her mind seized up and she pulled away, taking swift strides towards the half of the picture showing Sakura. He couldn't see it. He'd hate her for it. MOMO hid the picture behind her back, wringing it between her hands.
With a sudden shift from foot to foot, he's gotten rather uncomfortable, it seems. "Tell me what happened. Maybe.. I can help."
Still grasping the picture, MOMO shook her head vigorously so that her hair seemed to float in the air around her. She knew that she needed to deal with it by herself, or with Shion's help. But it bothered her to let Jr. see this weakness, and though she admitted that it might be of her best interest to show him the photograph, a deeper part of her told her that it would push him away.
"You don't have to show me the picture, then. Just... Tell me what's wrong." A compromise? Just short of shaking her head again, MOMO stopped to consider it. He didn't have to see her weakness to help; in fact, perhaps he could tell her why she was feeling this way. Her head bobbed lightly, as if to say 'yes'. His smile reached his eyes.
Severing eye contact, MOMO hesitated and took a breath. "Wouldn't you be sad, too? I think it's the right thing to feel..." For a moment she was contemplative, resting a cheek in her palm as Jr. had been doing just minutes before. "...but I could be wrong. Jr...." MOMO smiled weakly and lowered her eyes to the sand resting just at the base of the water, studying how the waves slid silently over its surface. Time to tell the truth.
"Mommy thinks MOMO is a doll," MOMO concluded. "I'm of no value to mommy." A distinctive star above them flashed dully as she spoke, continuing to do so as her voice died away.
"That's not true..!"
She looked up at the sky, smiling a bit to herself through the tears. "But daddy loved me. He loved me and Sakura both. Mommy sees the difference between her real daughter and the fake, and she doesn't like it. It's not only the eyes." MOMO nodded decisively, wiping her eyes on one sleeve and giggling. "Is this feeling correct..? It hurts a lot when I think of the picture...."
She'd said too much. It was only seconds later that Jr. realized who Sakura was and what the picture had shown. It was the same photo he'd seen countless times before, resting in a pile of belongings at the foot of MOMO's bed. Juli and Joachim Mizrahi, and their little girl with blue eyes and pink hair, who he'd thought was MOMO. Thinking back, he didn't quite know why he hadn't considered the possibility. For now he'd search for a way to make her feel better, even if it meant more questions.
"Exactly how did it make you feel?" Flustered, MOMO knitted her eyebrows and frowned deeply, in thought. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and looked back at him curiously. "I felt like I was in pain."
Silence. Her body shook as the cold, damp air settled on her skin.
"You're not Sakura, MOMO," The girl moaned and stepped back a little, close to losing her balance. He panicked and took a step towards her before continuing. "But I'm glad for that. We're all glad for that, believe me. If your... 'mother'... doesn't see that, then it's not worth getting upset over." He added a rude statement or two about Juli Mizrahi to himself to add impact to what he was saying, partially to help himself continue while she watched him with those large, sad eyes.
MOMO bit the inside of her lip and stumbled towards him, the tears ebbing considerably. She wanted to be Sakura, she wanted her mommy to love her, she wanted life to be as simple as it had been before mommy had sent her to Pleroma. She wanted her daddy back. Through all of this, it occurred to her that she was being selfish, that daddy was in heaven with his Sakura now. Was mommy jealous? Because MOMO was jealous. She'd tried so hard to be good for her father, but in the end she had little to account for.
Another thought struck her, and hard.
"Jr... If I were Sakura, I wouldn't have met all of you."
Looking rather dumbstruck, he looked and saw her skin pale through the tears. Her eyes had widened as the pupils shrank, giving her a horrified expression. Though she seemed to think that life might have been better if she hadn't gone through all of this, imagining the past period of time any other way seemed ridiculous. The tears increased ten-fold, though with a different emotion behind them. And then it happened: MOMO was staring directly at him, her lips pulling into a shy, cute smile.
"Jr.," she choked, folding her hands in front of her and slouching a bit as if weighed down, "That's the one thing I never want to think about."
]---------------------------------------------[
Shion kept him behind long after MOMO had fallen asleep, watching as the girl tossed fitfully in her bed. "You know, I'm surprised she hadn't caught fever," she muttered, turning on him with those damned eyes so that he knew she was going to ask him something. "But I digress." In her arms sat a pile of blankets, wrapped loosely as they'd soon been rebuffed by MOMO, insisting that she wasn't cold. Boxes of medicines lay scattered across the floor, from the attempts Shion had made at getting MOMO to swallow at least one.
"She doesn't tell me anything," She glanced occasionally at MOMO, who had settled on her side and pulled one blanket over her head. For the first time, she looked genuinely worried over the girl's well-being. "I want to help her, but she doesn't want anyone to know. I hope she doesn't feel that we'll alienate her for any of this, quite the contrary." Gingerly, a golden eye opened beneath the blanket, fluttering slowly a moment later as Shion's head turned.
"You know, I keep waking up and she's not in her bed. For a while it scared me, but now that I know where she goes..." At this he seemed interested, raising his eyes from the floor to meet Shion's briefly. Mentally, he checked off a list of places she might go to if she'd woken in the middle of the night to a silent room. "She sleeps on the floor in KOS-MOS' chambers, for the most part. I think she feels safe there; no, I hope she feels safe there. At least she sleeps at all."
Shion smiled and chuckled into the semi-darkness. "And I thought she was intimidated by KOS-MOS..."
MOMO hiccuped softly from underneath the comforter, leaving Shion to hasten towards the bed. She lifted the covers and looked down, the realian resting serenely in the bed's center in the midst of her hair, spread out on her pillow. Watching, a strange sense of mortality settled over her, and she felt inexplicably saddened.
"Be good to her, okay? She deserves that much." Shion had turned, the full force of her movement and the words she'd just spoken rendering him senseless. She stood at her full height in the center of the room, hands on hips, glowering at him. "I have faith that you will be, I've seen the two of you." Shion then grinned mischievously and made a gesture as to shoo Jr. from the room.
"Eh!?"
She'd already turned to a heap of clothing next to her bed, rooting through it to find something to sleep in. "Go to bed, Jr. Don't worry about it."
Looking flustered, he stood and prepared to leave, stopping at the doorway to give her a quick glance as she huffed and returned to the task of putting the blankets away.
.
[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org]
.
There was that moment, that beautiful second in which everything was calm. The water was still; no voices could be heard from the surrounding sectors, no late night sounds. Her heart beat had steadied to a reasonable point, and she'd managed to pull herself up onto the beach, onto the white sand she loved, staring up at the sky from where she now lay on her back. The sky seemed rather dull tonight; she closed her eyes to it.
Locks of her hair mingled with the sand, small grains peppering her face and clothes. Her eyes had snapped open at the sound of footsteps; voices? Voices.... Coming closer, were they? The tears flowed in a torrent she couldn't stop. She felt helpless and childish, crying alone on the beach, but it was a form of release that she needed. Her body and mind craved it.
"MOMO!!" It was a strange voice, a familiar tone tinged with hysteria and a note of sadness. There was no use in getting up, as she'd have to face whoever it was eventually, so she remained sprawled on the ground, sobs wracking her body more violently. It wasn't long before she looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring back, the ashen face of a friend she knew so well. He looked like a stranger, his eyes watering visibly, looking down on her with the most painful expression she'd ever seen on his face. She couldn't contain the gasp that escaped her lips.
After a brief moment, the glitter in her eyes became a dull, listless glow.
For a long while he tried to say something, though words obviously failed him. Instead, he stood over her, mouthing wordlessly what he wanted to tell her, to no avail. In a sudden surge of movement, MOMO had struggled to her feet and tried to stand straight, quaking slightly and wrapping her arms around him for comfort. She willed herself to stand separate, to handle it by herself. But she couldn't; it was too hard. She leaned gratefully against him.
"I'm okay, Jr... I couldn't help it. But I'm okay now."
The tears continued to fall, despite how she'd tried so hard to stop them. She pulled her lips into what should have been a smile, which failed miserably. Eyes closed in concentration, she made another attempt, pulling away and grinning feebly up at him. She'd done it. She'd conquered the miserable feeling that had set itself in the pit of her stomach, if only for a second or two. She could feel Jr. shiver slightly as he raised a hand to her cheek, looking over the swollen, puffy face of the realian in fascination. She was crying. The realization hit hard.
He wanted to know why. But not now. For now, he was satisfied that she hadn't done anything rash, though that sort of thing was against her nature. Her body went rigid against his own, as she spotted half of the picture, half exposed from its resting spot under the sand; with an ill sound, she turned away. Forget about it, she told herself. Don't look at it. It'll go away.
However, he'd remembered what he wanted to say earlier. "KOS-MOS showed us the picture... But... Was it really you?" Her mind seized up and she pulled away, taking swift strides towards the half of the picture showing Sakura. He couldn't see it. He'd hate her for it. MOMO hid the picture behind her back, wringing it between her hands.
With a sudden shift from foot to foot, he's gotten rather uncomfortable, it seems. "Tell me what happened. Maybe.. I can help."
Still grasping the picture, MOMO shook her head vigorously so that her hair seemed to float in the air around her. She knew that she needed to deal with it by herself, or with Shion's help. But it bothered her to let Jr. see this weakness, and though she admitted that it might be of her best interest to show him the photograph, a deeper part of her told her that it would push him away.
"You don't have to show me the picture, then. Just... Tell me what's wrong." A compromise? Just short of shaking her head again, MOMO stopped to consider it. He didn't have to see her weakness to help; in fact, perhaps he could tell her why she was feeling this way. Her head bobbed lightly, as if to say 'yes'. His smile reached his eyes.
Severing eye contact, MOMO hesitated and took a breath. "Wouldn't you be sad, too? I think it's the right thing to feel..." For a moment she was contemplative, resting a cheek in her palm as Jr. had been doing just minutes before. "...but I could be wrong. Jr...." MOMO smiled weakly and lowered her eyes to the sand resting just at the base of the water, studying how the waves slid silently over its surface. Time to tell the truth.
"Mommy thinks MOMO is a doll," MOMO concluded. "I'm of no value to mommy." A distinctive star above them flashed dully as she spoke, continuing to do so as her voice died away.
"That's not true..!"
She looked up at the sky, smiling a bit to herself through the tears. "But daddy loved me. He loved me and Sakura both. Mommy sees the difference between her real daughter and the fake, and she doesn't like it. It's not only the eyes." MOMO nodded decisively, wiping her eyes on one sleeve and giggling. "Is this feeling correct..? It hurts a lot when I think of the picture...."
She'd said too much. It was only seconds later that Jr. realized who Sakura was and what the picture had shown. It was the same photo he'd seen countless times before, resting in a pile of belongings at the foot of MOMO's bed. Juli and Joachim Mizrahi, and their little girl with blue eyes and pink hair, who he'd thought was MOMO. Thinking back, he didn't quite know why he hadn't considered the possibility. For now he'd search for a way to make her feel better, even if it meant more questions.
"Exactly how did it make you feel?" Flustered, MOMO knitted her eyebrows and frowned deeply, in thought. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and looked back at him curiously. "I felt like I was in pain."
Silence. Her body shook as the cold, damp air settled on her skin.
"You're not Sakura, MOMO," The girl moaned and stepped back a little, close to losing her balance. He panicked and took a step towards her before continuing. "But I'm glad for that. We're all glad for that, believe me. If your... 'mother'... doesn't see that, then it's not worth getting upset over." He added a rude statement or two about Juli Mizrahi to himself to add impact to what he was saying, partially to help himself continue while she watched him with those large, sad eyes.
MOMO bit the inside of her lip and stumbled towards him, the tears ebbing considerably. She wanted to be Sakura, she wanted her mommy to love her, she wanted life to be as simple as it had been before mommy had sent her to Pleroma. She wanted her daddy back. Through all of this, it occurred to her that she was being selfish, that daddy was in heaven with his Sakura now. Was mommy jealous? Because MOMO was jealous. She'd tried so hard to be good for her father, but in the end she had little to account for.
Another thought struck her, and hard.
"Jr... If I were Sakura, I wouldn't have met all of you."
Looking rather dumbstruck, he looked and saw her skin pale through the tears. Her eyes had widened as the pupils shrank, giving her a horrified expression. Though she seemed to think that life might have been better if she hadn't gone through all of this, imagining the past period of time any other way seemed ridiculous. The tears increased ten-fold, though with a different emotion behind them. And then it happened: MOMO was staring directly at him, her lips pulling into a shy, cute smile.
"Jr.," she choked, folding her hands in front of her and slouching a bit as if weighed down, "That's the one thing I never want to think about."
]---------------------------------------------[
Shion kept him behind long after MOMO had fallen asleep, watching as the girl tossed fitfully in her bed. "You know, I'm surprised she hadn't caught fever," she muttered, turning on him with those damned eyes so that he knew she was going to ask him something. "But I digress." In her arms sat a pile of blankets, wrapped loosely as they'd soon been rebuffed by MOMO, insisting that she wasn't cold. Boxes of medicines lay scattered across the floor, from the attempts Shion had made at getting MOMO to swallow at least one.
"She doesn't tell me anything," She glanced occasionally at MOMO, who had settled on her side and pulled one blanket over her head. For the first time, she looked genuinely worried over the girl's well-being. "I want to help her, but she doesn't want anyone to know. I hope she doesn't feel that we'll alienate her for any of this, quite the contrary." Gingerly, a golden eye opened beneath the blanket, fluttering slowly a moment later as Shion's head turned.
"You know, I keep waking up and she's not in her bed. For a while it scared me, but now that I know where she goes..." At this he seemed interested, raising his eyes from the floor to meet Shion's briefly. Mentally, he checked off a list of places she might go to if she'd woken in the middle of the night to a silent room. "She sleeps on the floor in KOS-MOS' chambers, for the most part. I think she feels safe there; no, I hope she feels safe there. At least she sleeps at all."
Shion smiled and chuckled into the semi-darkness. "And I thought she was intimidated by KOS-MOS..."
MOMO hiccuped softly from underneath the comforter, leaving Shion to hasten towards the bed. She lifted the covers and looked down, the realian resting serenely in the bed's center in the midst of her hair, spread out on her pillow. Watching, a strange sense of mortality settled over her, and she felt inexplicably saddened.
"Be good to her, okay? She deserves that much." Shion had turned, the full force of her movement and the words she'd just spoken rendering him senseless. She stood at her full height in the center of the room, hands on hips, glowering at him. "I have faith that you will be, I've seen the two of you." Shion then grinned mischievously and made a gesture as to shoo Jr. from the room.
"Eh!?"
She'd already turned to a heap of clothing next to her bed, rooting through it to find something to sleep in. "Go to bed, Jr. Don't worry about it."
Looking flustered, he stood and prepared to leave, stopping at the doorway to give her a quick glance as she huffed and returned to the task of putting the blankets away.
.
[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org]