Disclaimer: Don´t own Harry Potter. Not mine, never has been, never will
be.
Titel: TRIP TO FRANCE
Her eyes snapped open abruptly, when the announcement came. More than one hour delay had lulled her to a troubled, unrefreshing nap. Slowly she got up from the cheap, grey-blue plastic chair. Grabbing the bag and the unattractive pale blue umbrella, her decision wavered for just the shortest second. No turning back, no more. Slowly she made her way to the gate, past the now-empty chairs, past the family with the 5 kids (one of those was always getting lost). They looked happy, all of them. 'Don´t think about it, don´t think' It was 11:30 when she finally entered the airplain, not much later when she finally put her bag in the box overhead and let herself drop in the seat. 'No turning back, now, it´s done, it´s been enough.' Deliberately she blocked out all the noises of the fellow passengers, not really wanting to listen to the happy chattering of those leaving for holidays. At least most travellers seemed to be attending business matters. Those she could endure, those were quite and much less reminded her of... 'Don´t think! That´s done, get over it!' "...you mind?" The quiet voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Come again?" The man smiled slightly. "Sorry to disturb you, mam. This is my seat you´re in. Your´s is the on at the window-side? We can switch, if you like, but I would be more comfortable sitting on the inside. Don´t like the view too much. You don´t mind, do you?" 'That much about travelling in quiet....' "Don´t bother" She got up and switched to the other seat. He got what he wanted, maybe this way he would just leave her to her thoughts. No such luck, he was silent during the take off, didn´t say a word till the seatbelt-signs went off, then "This your first flight?" Suppressing the snippish reply ('leave that habit, too') she sighed and turned towards him, taking in his appearence for the first time. Not young, not old, not ugly, but not spectacularly handsome eather. Still..... It occured her that he looked vaguely familiar. It was not his face, not his voice, but... what? She dismissed the thought. 'Must be my nerves. All I need is a calm night of sleep, a nice hot bath maybe... I´m already imagining things' Shaking her head she replied calmly "no, not the first. First time alone, though." 'Why did I say that? Didn´t need to know, did he?' Smiling that kind smile again he ansered only "You seemed to be really preoccupied. See, it´s my first flight.... well, kind off. Not like this...." She nodded approval. ""Yes, I used to go on holiday flights now and then. Before my son was born, that was. We went to Ibiza and Mallorca a few times. My...." 'Oops' "So you have some kind of business to do in France?" He was still smiling that smile, kind and nice and somewhat sad. "No, not really. Just....visiting an old friend. That´s all. You?" ''Where did that come from? Do I really want to know?' He shook his head, slowly, and greying hair fell into his eyes. His hair was quiet long, she noticed now, and the cut was - odd, at least. Looked like whoever did that didn´t really know what they did. Pity, made him look somewhat dishelved. Otherwise his appearence was acceptable, clean shaven, uncpectacular cloth and all. His face looked like he had been good looking, once, but now deep lines around his eyes mad him look troubled. Still, he didn´t look old enough to have as much grey hair. 'Must have a difficult life, too!' "Business visit, I´m afraid. But maybe there will be some little time to enjoy the city, too. They say, Paris is really nice this time of the year."
He turned away when the stuardess arrived with tabletts of food. She didn´t really listen to what he said, only noticed when she was asked for her drink. 'Bourbon, an entire bottle, please' "Orange juice, please" she heard herself say. 'Oh well, I can have that later.' He ordered Cola, she barely noticed, and passed her the can with her juice and a whte plastic-cup. A small, square plate with food followed. Without interese she accessed the contents. A bread roll. Chicken salad. Cheese, butter, a slice of tomato. Some ham, hidden below the cheese. Two cookies and odd-shaped cuttlery, all wrapped up in plastic foil. Not remotely up to her standards - she would have come up with a first class meal with one arm tied to her back and blindfolded - but it would do. She had missed breakfast, after all. It was only then, that she noticed him scrutinicing his meal. Looking amusedly at the plastic wrapping, like he never had seen something like that in his life before. Odd. Smiling and nodding at her he slowly started eating. She nodded back at him and dug into her food, too. 'Should have ordered that bourbon'
They had finished their meal in silence, returned the dishes (if you could call it that) and kept sipping on their respective drinks for a while. The view didn´t provide much to her, only clouds, and below them should be the ocean by now. When he got up to get himself a newspaper she leant back and closed her eyes, to catch up on sleep.
She opened her eyes to a loud sneezing from the man behind her. Looking around she found her companion reading a newspaper, not the one he got earlier. Seemed to be one he brought onboard himself. Sure enough, she didn´t recognize it. When he noticed her watching him, he smiled and folded up the paper neatly. The headline wasn´t visible at all, nor were any of the pictures. "Had a nice nap?" he asked quietly, when the silence became uncomfortable. "Mh, yes, thank you. I needed that, didn´t get much sleep recently." "You had a rough time, I could tell. Family problems?" His eyes seemed to go deeper than they should, how could he....? "How...?" Still smiling, he shook his head at her shocked expression. "Don´t worry, just did some thinking. A single woman, on a wednesday morning, alone in a plane, leaving the country. Plus, having a son.... you´re leaving, right? Your husband, I mean" with that he looked pointedly at her wedding ring, that still sat on her finger. "Oh" What did you say to that?
Silence again. He was still watching her. Suddenly, he shook his head. "I´m sorry, i didn´t want to..." "It´s alright, really. I just didn´t realize that it was that noticable. I was in a hurry, there was not much time.... You see, the kids are back to school now, and V... my husband just left for work. It got so much worse, lately, and I could not stand...." She closed her eyes, not able to look at the kind man - the kind stranger anymore. What had she thought? Telling a stranger things like that? Personal things like that? She shed no tears, not anymore, those had gone dry for a long time now.
She jumped when he put his hand on her forearm. "Shh - it´s allright, you.... oh!" He chuckled suddenly, and her eyes popped oped. She saw him staring intently at her, smile still evident at the corners of his mouth. "I don´t even know your name!" For one eternal moment she thought about giving him a fake name, just to make sure... "P...Peta" See, it´s safer. He smiled at her, still. "Hello Peta, I´m.... Roger" She hardly noticed the gap in his introduction. Surely he wouldn´t give him a false name, too? Dismissing the thought, she reached out to grab his outstretched hand and shook it shortly. Doing so she felt absolutely unable to stop her one smile.
"So - you´r running away from your past." A fact, not a question. She swallowed, hard. And smiled again "Stupid, I know." He only shook his and, and his smile grew even more gentle, if this was possible. "Not at all." At her disbeliving gave he added "No, not at all. I know, what it´s like to....want to run away. It´s just - it never works. You know? It always comes back. You can´t run away from what you are." Strangely she had the feeling he was not talking about her. "It comes back...." she nodded. "But I can still try, don´t I? To get some distance, I mean." Someone two rows back sent his drink down to the floor with a crash, and sweet lemonade showered the floor and the seat behind them. Some drops even hit him, sitting at the row. He raised his arm shortly and accessed the damage. "Redwine is hard to get out, you know" she said helpfully, glad for the interruption. "You have to put salt on it, while it´s still wet". He just smiled and nodded, then got up and walked toward the washroom. When he returned a few minutes later, his shirt was clean again. She wondered, if they had salt in those washchambers, or if the ever-present industrial soap they used was strong enough for red wine. She would have to look for those, for home, so she.... At that she closed her eyes. Home. He sat heavily at the seat again. Raising her eyes to his face again, she noticed for the first time, how tired he looked. Not wanting to abandon their talk, but not wanting it to return to unpleasant topics eather she commented "You look tired. Can´t sleep at full moons eather, can you?" His eyes widened just for the merest second, and than he answered sofly "No, not really!" Was it just her imagination, or did he sound somewhat - off? "Didn´t sleep... well since I was a small boy in those nights." He shrugged, obviously not wanting to continue here. Oh, well. A few, awkward minutes later he continued, carefully "You said 'kids'". She narrowed her eyes on that "What?" He looked past her, out the window, where the first outlines of the shore just appeared. "You told about your son, first, but then you talked about kids, multiple" He smiled sheepishly "Now I´m being nosy, am I?" She laughed, genuinely, for the first time since.... since when? " Yes, you are, Roger. I have a son, that´s true. But I´ve also been raising my nephew. They are both 17 by now, so..." "So you thought 'now or never'. They are largely selfconsistant at that age, you know? So you stayed with your husband till they could look after themselfes, very selfless." She turned around a bit in her seat "Do you have children?" His answer was delayed by the sign overhead blinking alive, and the announcement of the co-pilot. So they were well over france already? "No" he said with the most peculiar expression ""I´m not the kind of person to have kids!" "You sure? I could imagine you getting around with kids just fine." That sad smile again, while he fiddled with his seat-belt. "Oh - that. I´m a teacher. Self-defense. But - not working in that profession right now." She nodded at that. A teacher, that fits. A nice enough person, smart enough, for sure. She swallowed when the plane started to descend and her ears were closing up. Obviously he didn´t have that problem, even so he didn´t seem to like it. Looked like he was praying, murmuring, raising his arms to his face and fumbling with somethin, that seemed to be inside his sleeve. She closed her eyes till she felt the soft touchdown. Solid ground, after all. A new life, maybe. For a short moment she felt sorry, for her son. He would be unhappy, for sure. He would not understand why she had to go. Nor would her husband, everything was going well to him, just not to her. Somehow she had the feeling that her nephew would unterstand, not that it would matter. He would not return home, not now that she was gone. No need to. They waited till the plane reached parking-position. Her neighbour got up first, reaching up to the boxes and pulled out her bag first, handing it to her. Shouldering his own bag, he turned to leave. Then he hesitated for a moment, and turned back to her. "It was nice to meet you. Have a good time in france,Petunia." With that he turned and left. Oddly, there was a crowd of passengers all the way out of the plain. Obviously he didn´t have a problem passing them. Waking through the large doors leading out of the building she sighed. 'I could have liked him. How come I ended up the way I am? With a husband like that? A son like that? A life like that? Why didn´t I meet that kind of man when I was before?'
She already sat in the cab, heading to the friend she would stay at, when she realized, that he couldn´t possibly have known her real name.
Titel: TRIP TO FRANCE
Her eyes snapped open abruptly, when the announcement came. More than one hour delay had lulled her to a troubled, unrefreshing nap. Slowly she got up from the cheap, grey-blue plastic chair. Grabbing the bag and the unattractive pale blue umbrella, her decision wavered for just the shortest second. No turning back, no more. Slowly she made her way to the gate, past the now-empty chairs, past the family with the 5 kids (one of those was always getting lost). They looked happy, all of them. 'Don´t think about it, don´t think' It was 11:30 when she finally entered the airplain, not much later when she finally put her bag in the box overhead and let herself drop in the seat. 'No turning back, now, it´s done, it´s been enough.' Deliberately she blocked out all the noises of the fellow passengers, not really wanting to listen to the happy chattering of those leaving for holidays. At least most travellers seemed to be attending business matters. Those she could endure, those were quite and much less reminded her of... 'Don´t think! That´s done, get over it!' "...you mind?" The quiet voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Come again?" The man smiled slightly. "Sorry to disturb you, mam. This is my seat you´re in. Your´s is the on at the window-side? We can switch, if you like, but I would be more comfortable sitting on the inside. Don´t like the view too much. You don´t mind, do you?" 'That much about travelling in quiet....' "Don´t bother" She got up and switched to the other seat. He got what he wanted, maybe this way he would just leave her to her thoughts. No such luck, he was silent during the take off, didn´t say a word till the seatbelt-signs went off, then "This your first flight?" Suppressing the snippish reply ('leave that habit, too') she sighed and turned towards him, taking in his appearence for the first time. Not young, not old, not ugly, but not spectacularly handsome eather. Still..... It occured her that he looked vaguely familiar. It was not his face, not his voice, but... what? She dismissed the thought. 'Must be my nerves. All I need is a calm night of sleep, a nice hot bath maybe... I´m already imagining things' Shaking her head she replied calmly "no, not the first. First time alone, though." 'Why did I say that? Didn´t need to know, did he?' Smiling that kind smile again he ansered only "You seemed to be really preoccupied. See, it´s my first flight.... well, kind off. Not like this...." She nodded approval. ""Yes, I used to go on holiday flights now and then. Before my son was born, that was. We went to Ibiza and Mallorca a few times. My...." 'Oops' "So you have some kind of business to do in France?" He was still smiling that smile, kind and nice and somewhat sad. "No, not really. Just....visiting an old friend. That´s all. You?" ''Where did that come from? Do I really want to know?' He shook his head, slowly, and greying hair fell into his eyes. His hair was quiet long, she noticed now, and the cut was - odd, at least. Looked like whoever did that didn´t really know what they did. Pity, made him look somewhat dishelved. Otherwise his appearence was acceptable, clean shaven, uncpectacular cloth and all. His face looked like he had been good looking, once, but now deep lines around his eyes mad him look troubled. Still, he didn´t look old enough to have as much grey hair. 'Must have a difficult life, too!' "Business visit, I´m afraid. But maybe there will be some little time to enjoy the city, too. They say, Paris is really nice this time of the year."
He turned away when the stuardess arrived with tabletts of food. She didn´t really listen to what he said, only noticed when she was asked for her drink. 'Bourbon, an entire bottle, please' "Orange juice, please" she heard herself say. 'Oh well, I can have that later.' He ordered Cola, she barely noticed, and passed her the can with her juice and a whte plastic-cup. A small, square plate with food followed. Without interese she accessed the contents. A bread roll. Chicken salad. Cheese, butter, a slice of tomato. Some ham, hidden below the cheese. Two cookies and odd-shaped cuttlery, all wrapped up in plastic foil. Not remotely up to her standards - she would have come up with a first class meal with one arm tied to her back and blindfolded - but it would do. She had missed breakfast, after all. It was only then, that she noticed him scrutinicing his meal. Looking amusedly at the plastic wrapping, like he never had seen something like that in his life before. Odd. Smiling and nodding at her he slowly started eating. She nodded back at him and dug into her food, too. 'Should have ordered that bourbon'
They had finished their meal in silence, returned the dishes (if you could call it that) and kept sipping on their respective drinks for a while. The view didn´t provide much to her, only clouds, and below them should be the ocean by now. When he got up to get himself a newspaper she leant back and closed her eyes, to catch up on sleep.
She opened her eyes to a loud sneezing from the man behind her. Looking around she found her companion reading a newspaper, not the one he got earlier. Seemed to be one he brought onboard himself. Sure enough, she didn´t recognize it. When he noticed her watching him, he smiled and folded up the paper neatly. The headline wasn´t visible at all, nor were any of the pictures. "Had a nice nap?" he asked quietly, when the silence became uncomfortable. "Mh, yes, thank you. I needed that, didn´t get much sleep recently." "You had a rough time, I could tell. Family problems?" His eyes seemed to go deeper than they should, how could he....? "How...?" Still smiling, he shook his head at her shocked expression. "Don´t worry, just did some thinking. A single woman, on a wednesday morning, alone in a plane, leaving the country. Plus, having a son.... you´re leaving, right? Your husband, I mean" with that he looked pointedly at her wedding ring, that still sat on her finger. "Oh" What did you say to that?
Silence again. He was still watching her. Suddenly, he shook his head. "I´m sorry, i didn´t want to..." "It´s alright, really. I just didn´t realize that it was that noticable. I was in a hurry, there was not much time.... You see, the kids are back to school now, and V... my husband just left for work. It got so much worse, lately, and I could not stand...." She closed her eyes, not able to look at the kind man - the kind stranger anymore. What had she thought? Telling a stranger things like that? Personal things like that? She shed no tears, not anymore, those had gone dry for a long time now.
She jumped when he put his hand on her forearm. "Shh - it´s allright, you.... oh!" He chuckled suddenly, and her eyes popped oped. She saw him staring intently at her, smile still evident at the corners of his mouth. "I don´t even know your name!" For one eternal moment she thought about giving him a fake name, just to make sure... "P...Peta" See, it´s safer. He smiled at her, still. "Hello Peta, I´m.... Roger" She hardly noticed the gap in his introduction. Surely he wouldn´t give him a false name, too? Dismissing the thought, she reached out to grab his outstretched hand and shook it shortly. Doing so she felt absolutely unable to stop her one smile.
"So - you´r running away from your past." A fact, not a question. She swallowed, hard. And smiled again "Stupid, I know." He only shook his and, and his smile grew even more gentle, if this was possible. "Not at all." At her disbeliving gave he added "No, not at all. I know, what it´s like to....want to run away. It´s just - it never works. You know? It always comes back. You can´t run away from what you are." Strangely she had the feeling he was not talking about her. "It comes back...." she nodded. "But I can still try, don´t I? To get some distance, I mean." Someone two rows back sent his drink down to the floor with a crash, and sweet lemonade showered the floor and the seat behind them. Some drops even hit him, sitting at the row. He raised his arm shortly and accessed the damage. "Redwine is hard to get out, you know" she said helpfully, glad for the interruption. "You have to put salt on it, while it´s still wet". He just smiled and nodded, then got up and walked toward the washroom. When he returned a few minutes later, his shirt was clean again. She wondered, if they had salt in those washchambers, or if the ever-present industrial soap they used was strong enough for red wine. She would have to look for those, for home, so she.... At that she closed her eyes. Home. He sat heavily at the seat again. Raising her eyes to his face again, she noticed for the first time, how tired he looked. Not wanting to abandon their talk, but not wanting it to return to unpleasant topics eather she commented "You look tired. Can´t sleep at full moons eather, can you?" His eyes widened just for the merest second, and than he answered sofly "No, not really!" Was it just her imagination, or did he sound somewhat - off? "Didn´t sleep... well since I was a small boy in those nights." He shrugged, obviously not wanting to continue here. Oh, well. A few, awkward minutes later he continued, carefully "You said 'kids'". She narrowed her eyes on that "What?" He looked past her, out the window, where the first outlines of the shore just appeared. "You told about your son, first, but then you talked about kids, multiple" He smiled sheepishly "Now I´m being nosy, am I?" She laughed, genuinely, for the first time since.... since when? " Yes, you are, Roger. I have a son, that´s true. But I´ve also been raising my nephew. They are both 17 by now, so..." "So you thought 'now or never'. They are largely selfconsistant at that age, you know? So you stayed with your husband till they could look after themselfes, very selfless." She turned around a bit in her seat "Do you have children?" His answer was delayed by the sign overhead blinking alive, and the announcement of the co-pilot. So they were well over france already? "No" he said with the most peculiar expression ""I´m not the kind of person to have kids!" "You sure? I could imagine you getting around with kids just fine." That sad smile again, while he fiddled with his seat-belt. "Oh - that. I´m a teacher. Self-defense. But - not working in that profession right now." She nodded at that. A teacher, that fits. A nice enough person, smart enough, for sure. She swallowed when the plane started to descend and her ears were closing up. Obviously he didn´t have that problem, even so he didn´t seem to like it. Looked like he was praying, murmuring, raising his arms to his face and fumbling with somethin, that seemed to be inside his sleeve. She closed her eyes till she felt the soft touchdown. Solid ground, after all. A new life, maybe. For a short moment she felt sorry, for her son. He would be unhappy, for sure. He would not understand why she had to go. Nor would her husband, everything was going well to him, just not to her. Somehow she had the feeling that her nephew would unterstand, not that it would matter. He would not return home, not now that she was gone. No need to. They waited till the plane reached parking-position. Her neighbour got up first, reaching up to the boxes and pulled out her bag first, handing it to her. Shouldering his own bag, he turned to leave. Then he hesitated for a moment, and turned back to her. "It was nice to meet you. Have a good time in france,Petunia." With that he turned and left. Oddly, there was a crowd of passengers all the way out of the plain. Obviously he didn´t have a problem passing them. Waking through the large doors leading out of the building she sighed. 'I could have liked him. How come I ended up the way I am? With a husband like that? A son like that? A life like that? Why didn´t I meet that kind of man when I was before?'
She already sat in the cab, heading to the friend she would stay at, when she realized, that he couldn´t possibly have known her real name.