Gah, finally a chance to upload the chapter…

::Chapter Three::

The first thing Miroku heard in the morning was muffled giggles and shuffling around.

"So he finally got the youkai huntress. I should throw him a party when he wakes up…"

And suddenly he realized that he was not alone. His arms were draped over her, one on her stomach and the other hugging her head. Their legs were tangled up into a confused, rather suggestive, mess. Seeing her then made the memories of last night rush in, and he felt sick.

"Miroku! What are you doing?" Kagome asked, "I thought I told you to behave yourself!"

He didn't move, save hugging Sango more tightly to himself and staring at Kagome defiantly. "And last night when I woke up I saw you and Inuyasha. Don't pretend you're innocent!"

Kagome began to blush furiously, while Inuyasha keh-ed.

"I was cold…" she said stupidly.

Just then Sango's eyes opened and she realized what position she was in with Miroku, and how tightly he was hugging her.

"Ah, Sango, you're up. Ohayo!" He stroked her leg gently.

"Kuso!!! You never learn, baka!!" She screamed and smacked him.

"Oww…"

She turned to Kagome and Inuyasha's questioning eyes, blushing.

"Nothing happened," she spat and began to gather her things. The evil tone in her voice prevented both of them from denying her.

I made a mistake last night, he thought, a bad, bad mistake.

It was as if nothing had ever happened. Miroku politely put up with the constant chatter of Kagome and Inuyasha, but it was as if some unseen barrier was erected between himself and Sango. Once, when their eyes met across the picnic blanket when they were eating lunch, he quickly glanced away, as if staring in to her eyes was like touching fire.

What have I done?

Guilt rendered him nearly helpless. He'd caved in, finally. He'd caved in to his love for this girl in a moment of inner tourmoil and weakness, and now both of them had begun a downward decent into failure. He wished he could squash his love for her and pretend it never existed. Why, why, why did he have to turn to her?

Glancing at her, he saw the small smile in her eyes as she looked at him. Even though the dread of last night's discovery still hung over both of them, she had the glimmer in her eyes, the giddiness of a first love.

And I did it, he thought. It was all me, all me.

Damn. He buried his head in his hands. If only he could have gone back to last night and re-wrote what had happened. Then he would have simply gone back to sleep, in his own bed, and no one would know about it.

Looking at Sango, for the first time ever, he didn't want her attention. Every time she smiled at him, ever time she glanced at him with an expression of concern, he felt like he was slowly killing her. The more she loved him, the more she would suffer when he died.

There was only one thing to do, then.

Push her away, whispered a voice inside.

She wouldn't realize it, but it would be for her own good. For both their own good. For their love just couldn't exist unless his Kazanna didn't.

I guess, he thought dully, picking at the beads, I guess it's because Sango really matters.

Later on that day, Sango felt that she could no longer take it. Miroku was ambling along up ahead with an unusually seriously expression on his face. She approached him, feeling rather shy. Damn that houshi, she thought, by gods, he is not supposed to make me feel this way. But after last night, she didn't know what to say to him…especially since he was acting like nothing had happened. Maybe he'd regretted it?

But that didn't stop her insides from melting like butter when he turned and said, "Sango."

"Houshi sama," she said in a low voice, "I don't think it's right that we should keep this a secret from everyone. Maybe they could help."

He shook his head. "They can't do anything…no one can."

She felt frustration bubbling up under her resolve.

"Don't be so stubborn."

"But there is nothing anyone can do. Don't bother telling them," he repeated.

"I can be just as stubborn as you," she retorted, "and I'm telling." She whirled around, ready to rush up to Kagome and Inuyasha, but he caught her hand in his own and stopped her.

"Listen, Sango. Look at me." She looked up into his eyes and saw them shimmering with pain that made her own heart twist.

"I don't want to be a burden to you. Any of you. I didn't mean for you to know, anyways, and I knew this would happen. So you will not tell them, you understand?"

"But…don't you understand? We're your friends! We care about you! And it's not right that they should not all know! I'm telling them, anyways!" She realized that by the end of her sentence she was yelling, and Kagome and Inuyasha were at their side at once.

"What's going on?" Inuyasha demanded, "Can't a youkai get any peace and quiet around here?"

"But…you're a hanyou," Shippou stated, and was rewarded with a prompt lump on the head.

Sango smiled a little, but that didn't help to lighten up the gravity of the situation.

"What's going on is this." She said and seized Miroku's other hand, holding it up to them. Kagome's eyes widened and Inuyasha gawked.

"Miroku chan…how long have you known about this?" Shippou asked.

"Yesterday evening," he responded shortly. He didn't look at Sango, and she knew he was angry at her then. He snatched his hand away from hers and hid it in a crossed arm.

She glanced at the ground, waiting for Miroku to keep talking, to elaborate on it, to tell them his fear, his great pain, and his nightmares. But he said nothing.

"Houshi sama…" Kagome ventured cautiously, "are you…are you in any pain? Maybe we should go visit your sempai."

"Don't bother," he said in a resistant tone Sango had never heard him use. This was so unlike the flirtatious, happy monk they were all used to seeing. Suddenly something inside Sango snapped. She was sick of this, all of it.

"Damn it, Miroku, we're trying to help you! Stop acting like no one cares, because we all obviously do or else we wouldn't be talking to you about this! You're not a burden to anyone, especially not to me! When are you gonna get it through your thick monk skull?"

Complete and utter silence seemed to bow under the weight of her outburst. Even the birds stopped singing.

She glared at Miroku, but he refused to return her his eyes. However, she saw him tensing up under the heat of her glowering.

Kagome and Inuyasha stared at her, the whites of their eyes prevalent. She'd never, ever yelled at him like that before.

"Gomen," she said softly, "I didn't mean to cause all this tension."

"Let's get outta here," Inuyasha said.

"There's a festival in the next city, and we could probably enjoy ourselves tonight, at leaset," Kagome added. But even though no one said it, Sango knew they were all thinking it: they had time, because Miroku was right- there was nothing any of them could do, except kill Naraku, and so far they'd been unsuccessful in even that. The rest of the trip to the village was silent.

"How ironic," said Sango blithely to Kagome, "Miroku seems to be the only one having any fun."

"Well of course. Anytime there are girls for him to flirt with it makes him feel better."

They were both in too glum a mood to do anything, and Inuyasha had disappeared almost immediately.

Only Miroku had rushed into the crowd without a word.

"He's mad at me," Sango had confessed, "he didn't want me to tell you guys. I think he feels like I betrayed his trust somehow."

"Demo…didn't we have a right to know, too? We're all his friends."

She thought about last night. Maybe he had been so scared that he couldn't keep it all inside, and she was the only one awake. It could have been Kagome, or Inuyasha. She was nothing, just someone to flirt with since Kagome was already taken. But she'd noticed that he never liked to open himself up to anyone.

Once, when they'd been visiting his sempai, he'd approached her. "Are you Sango?" He'd asked, and she nodded. "Miroku talks a lot about you." He did? "Don't take it personally if he keeps to himself. He's had a lot of trouble getting close to people after his father. Afraid they'll all leave him, just like he did."

Miroku, she'd thought sadly. You hurt so much. I understand. But please, share some of your pain with me…

"I'm hungry, Kagome. I'll be back in a while." Before she could answer, Sango had lost herself in the throng.

Being along in this huge crowd of people made her feel incredibly lonely. Especially considering the fact that she was surrounded by happy couples, holding hands and chatting happily.

"Excuse me, but where is the temple in this village?" She asked a man nearby. He eyed her in a lecherous fashion. "Around the corner. But come with me, baby. I can show you a better time than at that old temple."

He grabbed onto her wrist, and she realized how drunk he was. Most girls would have screamed, ,but she shook him off easily, skin crawling, and turned the corner. Drunk men were the least of her worries compared to youkai ten times as large as her.

And there he was. He was standing at the top step of the temple with a long line of girls behind him.

She joined the line quietly and listened to the two girls in front of her.

"I heard this houshi is really good at reading palms," one girl said.

"And he's cute, too. That's the only reason I came," the other said, giggling.

Sango rolled her eyes- how shallow these girls were.

Slowly the line inched foreword. When finally she caught sight of him, he seemed to be the very picture of happiness.

"Ah, Konnichiwa!" she heard him say, " I see love in your future, and a sucessuful family with many children. Hm, would you mind giving me a child, too?"  A giggle floated over to her.

Sango crossed her arms and bit her lip, trying to keep her rage in. Like usual, he was using his undying charm and letting women fall under her seemingly innocent spell. Even she had found herself joining in from time to time. Like last night, she thought.

"Next, please!" He called out cheerfully, and an instant later she found herself face to face with Miroku.

The minute he laid eyes on her, a dark curtain seemed to fall over his face and mask the happy decorum she'd seen only seconds ago.

"Sango, what are you doing here?" He asked, the displeasure in his voice evident.

"Don't seem so happy to see me. Sorry to ruin your little party," she said flatly.

"Look, why are you here?" His eyes blazed with an anger that shocked her. She'd never seen him this angry before.

"Maybe I want my palm read," she said defiantly.

"I do not have time for this. Next!" And he brushed her off like a scab.

"Don't you dare blow me off, houshi sama," she said threateningly. She was vaguely aware  that her mere presence seemed to repel all the girls gathered around. They wanted simple, fun flirting with a palm reading, but when a jealous girl came along, their fun was over.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a girl approached Miroku and grasped onto her arm tightly. Sango stifled a gasp of anger. Get your paws off him! She wanted to scream.

"Are you done reading palms, houshi sama? Now we can go have some real fun," the girl said a smiled up at him.

"Of course," he said as if Sango was not there. He smiled down at her. Smlied at her the way he smiled at Sango. Inside, something twisted violently. I thought he would never leave my side for someone else, she thought.

But the girl who'd come to his side was really pretty. She had wide, strangely blue eyes, and long, shiny raven hair. She didn't belong in this small town of peasants; there was something exotic about her. Sango thought with a scowl, he doesn't like tough girls like me. This girl looked so delicate that she could break. The bastards.

I mustn't let them know I'm jealous, she thought. Keep calm.

"Well, then," she said, her voice so brittle it could almost break, a calm, controlled rage sealed up tightly, "You go off and bear some kids. I don't care."

But she did. And as she turned, Miroku didn't stop her.

She didn't give herself the luxury of crying until after they had disappeared from view.

Nyeaaaaa….I'm tired. I'll update sooner if I get reviews and stuff. *passes out*

x~Aurora chan