* * * * *
Part XI: Hoshi
I awoke with a splitting headache. The kind that makes you wish your head was detachable. There was so much blue light around me at first I thought was I underwater. On second thought, the whole being-able-to-breath thing kind of threw that idea off. But while we're on the whole water motif, my head chose that moment to flood me with memories of what happened before I fell asleep in the Enterprise decontamination chamber.
...
There isn't a big enough black hole in the universe for me to hide in. I had to settle for the decon chamber. That's right folks. I was never coming out of this room. Never. Ever. I looked around the room, trying to see how I could decorate my new home.
"Ah, Ensign, you're awake."
No I wasn't. If I'd really been awake, I would have been able to look back on memories of that horrendous day and realize it was just a nightmare. I pinched myself. Hard. Twice. Nope, I was still there. Still remembered running around sickbay chasing after Malcolm. Still remembered kissing the lips of Malcolm.
I SAT on him. I usually don't make a habit of sitting on people unless I plan to take their clothes off and have my way with them. Oh, that's right. I was planning on doing that to the sexy beast that is Malcolm Reed.
Oh shut up, shut up, stop thinking, Hoshi's brain!
The decon doors opened and Phlox peered in. "Ensign. Time to come out now. I have to see if there are any foreign substances remaining in your bloodstream."
I made no move. I am a stone. Be one with the stone. Be the stone.
Phlox smiled. "It's quite all right, Ensign. Lieutenant Reed departed a while ago. I do not believe he will be coming back soon."
I flushed at the mention of his name. I had a feeling I would do that for a long time to come. That is if I actually lived through the embarrassment that was me. So much for living a long and fulfilled life as an inconspicuous exo-linguist. I was convinced I would die of embarrassment at any minute. Preferably immediately, so I wouldn't have to leave decon and actually face anyone, anyone. . . him.
"Ahh, perhaps you are embarrassed at your behavior? Don't worry, you were heavily under the influence of drugs. And as I recall, the Lieutenant did physically respond favorably to your amorous intentions. In fact, I took the liberty of taking readings of his hormone levels-"
I ran up and frantically waved my hands at the Denobulan. "Stop! STOP! I don't want to hear this!" Like it takes a doctor to know whether the guy was turned on or not...no! Stop Hoshi! Don't go there! Make a u-turn and just pretend your mind never went down that lane. "Too, way too much information, Doctor!"
Phlox gave me with a cup of water and proceeded to scan me.
"Really? Commander Tucker seemed very interested in what I had to say."
Water sprayed all over the floor. Dr. Phlox tsked. I would have felt bad if it weren't for that sinking feeling in my stomach.
Trip. Trip had been there. Of course Trip had been there. What kind of embarrassing moment would it be if Trip wasn't there to chronicle every single detail of my descent into the land of eternal shame?
Several moments later, Dr. Phlox said I was free of any residual compounds. Although it could have been more than several, since I was busy contemplating how I was going to ever show my face outside of sickbay with Trip and his motormouth blabbing to God knows who. When it didn't look like I was going anywhere, he repeated his prognosis, a dismissal if I've ever heard one. Nobody likes me! Dr. Phlox didn't and Malcolm certainly didn't otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here--most likely somewhere else going at it like rabbits--
Why did I get the feeling that whatever medicine I accidentally injected into myself hadn't completely removed itself from my system? I didn't care what the medical tricorder said! These were bad thoughts! Bad! And I should get myself far away from the source. Sickbay. Who knows what other things Phlox has lying around! With a hasty nod at Dr. Phlox, I departed sickbay and suddenly the small confines of my room didn't seem all that claustrophobic. Just let me stay in there until this day was over, that was all I asked.
The turbolift opened and I knew my terrible horrible awful day was not yet over. Trip and Captain Archer stood in the lift. Trip's mouth did a little dance around his face as he tried to keep himself from laughing his ass off. And Captain Archer, well, he wasn't Captain for nothing. He smiled graciously at me and stepped back to give me more room. Or maybe he thought he'd better back away before I lost control and started beating them both for getting too much enjoyment from my humiliating day. Smart man.
I walked in regally and turned swiftly around to face the door again. Except I had too much of an active imagination and I could just imagine them making faces behind me, hugging themselves, shaking from silent laughter. Then I heard Trip gave a little hiccup that sounded too much like an aborted laugh. That was it. No more!
I whirled around. Captain Archer blinked innocently at me and Trip looked down, suddenly fascinated with his shiny poop-derived boots. I squared my shoulders and straightened to my best height, which didn't really improve the situation by much since the men were not only taller, but bigger than me. I started to blame my parents for giving me short genes but decided to blame Captain Archer and Trip's parents instead. Damn tall people. Damn them all!
Yes, Hoshi, feed on the anger! Feed on the injustice! Feed on Trip and his big freakin' mouth!
I made an indignant, yet brave, face at Captain Archer. "You know what? Go ahead and laugh," I spat, jabbing my index finger into his chest with each word. "Because I don't care. I've got thick skin! I've got skin so thick it would make a---a---an elephant jealous! So laugh!" I glared at Trip. "Go right ahead and laugh, but just remember, the next time we're stuck in decon, I won't hesitate to point and laugh either! So there!"
Captain Archer's jaw dropped and Trip's face reddened at the finishing touch of my tirade.
I turned my nose up at them and pivoted on my heels to face the door, trying not to dwell on the fact that I had basically assaulted my Captain and was very insubordinate to a higher ranking officer.
"Ow," Captain Archer said somewhere behind me. Silence. Then, "Trip, do you have something you want to tell me about your little detour to sickbay this morning?"
Oh no. Oh hell. Oh shit.
"Weeeeeeell, Malcolm kinda told me he would staple my lips shut if I so much as breathed one word of the Incident, but since Hoshi doesn't seem to mind..."
It took every fiber of my being not to whimper and bury my face in my hands.
I hate Trip. I hate Trip lots and lots.
Part XI: Hoshi
I awoke with a splitting headache. The kind that makes you wish your head was detachable. There was so much blue light around me at first I thought was I underwater. On second thought, the whole being-able-to-breath thing kind of threw that idea off. But while we're on the whole water motif, my head chose that moment to flood me with memories of what happened before I fell asleep in the Enterprise decontamination chamber.
...
There isn't a big enough black hole in the universe for me to hide in. I had to settle for the decon chamber. That's right folks. I was never coming out of this room. Never. Ever. I looked around the room, trying to see how I could decorate my new home.
"Ah, Ensign, you're awake."
No I wasn't. If I'd really been awake, I would have been able to look back on memories of that horrendous day and realize it was just a nightmare. I pinched myself. Hard. Twice. Nope, I was still there. Still remembered running around sickbay chasing after Malcolm. Still remembered kissing the lips of Malcolm.
I SAT on him. I usually don't make a habit of sitting on people unless I plan to take their clothes off and have my way with them. Oh, that's right. I was planning on doing that to the sexy beast that is Malcolm Reed.
Oh shut up, shut up, stop thinking, Hoshi's brain!
The decon doors opened and Phlox peered in. "Ensign. Time to come out now. I have to see if there are any foreign substances remaining in your bloodstream."
I made no move. I am a stone. Be one with the stone. Be the stone.
Phlox smiled. "It's quite all right, Ensign. Lieutenant Reed departed a while ago. I do not believe he will be coming back soon."
I flushed at the mention of his name. I had a feeling I would do that for a long time to come. That is if I actually lived through the embarrassment that was me. So much for living a long and fulfilled life as an inconspicuous exo-linguist. I was convinced I would die of embarrassment at any minute. Preferably immediately, so I wouldn't have to leave decon and actually face anyone, anyone. . . him.
"Ahh, perhaps you are embarrassed at your behavior? Don't worry, you were heavily under the influence of drugs. And as I recall, the Lieutenant did physically respond favorably to your amorous intentions. In fact, I took the liberty of taking readings of his hormone levels-"
I ran up and frantically waved my hands at the Denobulan. "Stop! STOP! I don't want to hear this!" Like it takes a doctor to know whether the guy was turned on or not...no! Stop Hoshi! Don't go there! Make a u-turn and just pretend your mind never went down that lane. "Too, way too much information, Doctor!"
Phlox gave me with a cup of water and proceeded to scan me.
"Really? Commander Tucker seemed very interested in what I had to say."
Water sprayed all over the floor. Dr. Phlox tsked. I would have felt bad if it weren't for that sinking feeling in my stomach.
Trip. Trip had been there. Of course Trip had been there. What kind of embarrassing moment would it be if Trip wasn't there to chronicle every single detail of my descent into the land of eternal shame?
Several moments later, Dr. Phlox said I was free of any residual compounds. Although it could have been more than several, since I was busy contemplating how I was going to ever show my face outside of sickbay with Trip and his motormouth blabbing to God knows who. When it didn't look like I was going anywhere, he repeated his prognosis, a dismissal if I've ever heard one. Nobody likes me! Dr. Phlox didn't and Malcolm certainly didn't otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here--most likely somewhere else going at it like rabbits--
Why did I get the feeling that whatever medicine I accidentally injected into myself hadn't completely removed itself from my system? I didn't care what the medical tricorder said! These were bad thoughts! Bad! And I should get myself far away from the source. Sickbay. Who knows what other things Phlox has lying around! With a hasty nod at Dr. Phlox, I departed sickbay and suddenly the small confines of my room didn't seem all that claustrophobic. Just let me stay in there until this day was over, that was all I asked.
The turbolift opened and I knew my terrible horrible awful day was not yet over. Trip and Captain Archer stood in the lift. Trip's mouth did a little dance around his face as he tried to keep himself from laughing his ass off. And Captain Archer, well, he wasn't Captain for nothing. He smiled graciously at me and stepped back to give me more room. Or maybe he thought he'd better back away before I lost control and started beating them both for getting too much enjoyment from my humiliating day. Smart man.
I walked in regally and turned swiftly around to face the door again. Except I had too much of an active imagination and I could just imagine them making faces behind me, hugging themselves, shaking from silent laughter. Then I heard Trip gave a little hiccup that sounded too much like an aborted laugh. That was it. No more!
I whirled around. Captain Archer blinked innocently at me and Trip looked down, suddenly fascinated with his shiny poop-derived boots. I squared my shoulders and straightened to my best height, which didn't really improve the situation by much since the men were not only taller, but bigger than me. I started to blame my parents for giving me short genes but decided to blame Captain Archer and Trip's parents instead. Damn tall people. Damn them all!
Yes, Hoshi, feed on the anger! Feed on the injustice! Feed on Trip and his big freakin' mouth!
I made an indignant, yet brave, face at Captain Archer. "You know what? Go ahead and laugh," I spat, jabbing my index finger into his chest with each word. "Because I don't care. I've got thick skin! I've got skin so thick it would make a---a---an elephant jealous! So laugh!" I glared at Trip. "Go right ahead and laugh, but just remember, the next time we're stuck in decon, I won't hesitate to point and laugh either! So there!"
Captain Archer's jaw dropped and Trip's face reddened at the finishing touch of my tirade.
I turned my nose up at them and pivoted on my heels to face the door, trying not to dwell on the fact that I had basically assaulted my Captain and was very insubordinate to a higher ranking officer.
"Ow," Captain Archer said somewhere behind me. Silence. Then, "Trip, do you have something you want to tell me about your little detour to sickbay this morning?"
Oh no. Oh hell. Oh shit.
"Weeeeeeell, Malcolm kinda told me he would staple my lips shut if I so much as breathed one word of the Incident, but since Hoshi doesn't seem to mind..."
It took every fiber of my being not to whimper and bury my face in my hands.
I hate Trip. I hate Trip lots and lots.