Legolas skipped happily through the forest of Mirkwood. He nanced and skipped, nanced and skipped, and skipped and nanced. It was a happy day. His shiny, silky, long, golden, commercial perfect hair swished around behind him as he frolicked about. Suddenly, his Elf-ears detected movement. He stopped short, his beautiful puppy-dog eyes grew big a man with sword drawn stepped towards him. Legolas had heard about these Rangers. The Elf threw off all of his clothes and yelled, "OMG! I'm gonna die, aren't I? MG, PLEASE don't rape me!" "Uh.Legolas?" The Ranger Aragorn said, gazing at Legolas'.erm.masculine glory. He snapped out of it. "Um.buddy, I kinda DON'T want to rape you." "Oh," the Elf said. There was silence as the Prince stood naked in front of the entranced human (who's woddy was so hard, he could've knocked down a building). "Um, right.so." The Elf said coolly. "What's new with you?" He placed his hands on his hips. Aragorn's eyes refused to go up, he simply shrugged at the question. "Well," Legolas said. "Better get these clothes on then." He bent over to get the pile of clothing off the ground. "Oh!" Aragorn groaned, woody getting unbearably stiff. Legolas looked up, only in his shirt and speedo underwear. "What's the matt-ooh!" the Prince exclaimed as Aragorn grabbed him and pulled him to his chest. "Um, okay.we'll work with this," said Legolas, his back towards the Human. Aragorn spun him around so tnhey were facing eachother. The Prince's eyes grew big. The Human pulled Legolas into a passionate kiss when all of a sudden Haldir ran out of a bush. "You piece of shit!" Haldir spat at Aragorn, yanking him away from Legolas. He then grasped the other Elf's shoulders. "You okay, love?" He asked soothingly. Legolas, still wide-eyed, nodded. "Good. Now," he said, turning to Aragorn. "What the Hell are you doin' kissin' my man?" "YOUR man?" said a voice from the darkness of the trees. Boromir stepped in front of Haldir. "Yo, bitch, he's MY man!" The blonde human said. He grabbed Legolas and kissed him fully, to emphasize his point. "EXCUSE ME?!" said Eomer, walking towards them. They were all about to fight when Aragorn said, "WAIT! Let Legolas decide who he wants, hmm?" Eomer, Haldir, and Boromir all nodded and murmured in agreement. And, in a circle around him, they all stared at the desired Elf. Legolas looked absolutely petrified, "I.uh." "Legolas!" said Boromir, voice raised. "Um." "Legolas!" Haldir shouted. "Uh." "LEGOLAS!" Eomer yelled. It was then the Elf broke down crying. Still in just his shirt and speedo, he flung himself to the ground, weeping. Aragorn bent down to comfort Legolas. He patted his head and said in a low, soothing voice, "It's okay." Legolas looked up at Aragorn's loving face and into his deep, blue eyes. The Ranger wiped a tear away from the Elf's cheek, who smiled weakly. "I choose you, if you'll have me," Legolas said, embracing Aragorn. "Of course I will," he said, snuggling up to his new boyfriend. Haldir, Boromir, and Eomer, all pissed off, scoffed and sulked away. As they cuddled, Legolas felt warm and safe in his man's strong, protective arms that fit perfectly around his figure. Aragorn kissed Legolas' head. "I love you," he said softly. "I love you too."