Title: Separation anxiety
Author: Pixie-chan
Genre: Romance/Humour?
Rating: R (just to be safe)
Plot: Draco gets pissy at the whole human race, and decides to shun all unnecessary human contact. Harry makes a bet with him that he won't last a week. Draco agrees, and then realises that it means no Harry as well. Will he survive, or will he lose, and have to face the horrible consequences…
Pairings: Harry/Draco
Warnings: slash, and a flamboyantly gay Draco ^_^;;
Disclaimer: I own Harry potter, I sold it to JK for a mere fraction of what she's getting now with all that crappy merchandise. In case you missed the sarcasm, here it is again. It's mine, all mine. Muahahahaha…ha… ha?
A/N: My dragon muse uses flames to breed salamanders, (for no particular reason,) and my Severus muse uses flames to heat his cauldrons. So, flames are welcome, but must be articulate, and you must be complaining for a good reason. After you have read my warnings, 'slash is evil' ceases to become a good reason. As does 'because you suck,' and 'because you killed my cat.'
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"Heads up!"
Draco Malfoy had been sitting under a tree, reading a particularly interesting book. He looked up to see who was so callously disturbing the quiet, just in time to glimpse the quaffle zooming towards his forehead a mere moment before it hit.
Yes… Draco thought, as he lay stunned on his back in the grass, staring up at the sky. Mondays suck.
Several concerned faces entered his line of sight, and hands reached down to help him up. He batted them away irritably, dragging himself to his feet.
Turning, he caught sight of two figures headed towards him, it was Weasley and that Irish prat, Finnegan. Great…
"Weasley," he acknowledged. He and Weasley had long ago agreed to be civil to one-another, for Harry. Finnegan, however, was another matter entirely.
Ron grimaced, eyeing the angry red mark on Draco's forehead.
"Sorry about that, mate." He said, running a hand through his bright red hair. Finnegan sneered at him, ever the discourteous prat...
"We didn't see you…" Draco could almost taste the insincerity. Pointedly ignoring Finnegan for the moment, he turned to Ron.
"Don't worry about it, Weasley. Us Malfoys are tough." Finnegan snorted, and Draco turned to glare at him. "And you, Finnegan, take the stick out of your arse. Just because I'm screwing your little Gryffindor golden boy…"
Ron cringed, but Draco ignored him, pouting at Finnegan and giving his best 'hurt' look. "…doesn't give you a reason to be mean." He flipped his platinum-blonde hair behind his shoulder with an exaggerated gesture, and flounced back to the tree to retrieve his book. Behind him, Seamus turned and whispered to Ron,
"And you wonder why the rest of us stay in the closet!" Ron's eyes bugged and he stared incredulously at Seamus, who had flushed bright red. "…oops. Forget I said that, will you?" Ron nodded mutely, and they both headed back to the castle for their next class.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Pansy glanced around the corner and quickly ducked out of sight, flattening herself against the wall as Draco walked past, blissfully unaware of her presence.
She had decided long ago that Draco would be hers, and hers alone. It was no matter that he was gay; he just hadn't been exposed to Pansy at her most sexy. (or P.M.S. for short) Unbeknownst to Pansy, that in itself was most probably the main contributing factor in Draco's decision that he didn't like girls. Ever since she had tried to seduce him in third year…
Pansy, however, was still of the opinion that she was God's gift to men, and thus had not noticed that Draco was repulsed by the very fact of her existence. She began to formulate a plan… one that, in her simple mind, was foolproof. Oh yes, she would make him love her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco was on his way to the last class of the day; He had history of magic, and wished to Merlin that he didn't have to go. In all truth, he would prefer to be snogging his boyfriend in some abandoned classroom somewhere, but Potter had Herbology, and couldn't afford not to be there.
He was sure that, though professor Binns spent his class in a daze, professor Sprout would not stand for truancy.
He had been spending a lot of time with Harry lately, and he suspected that someone would notice soon, and tell his father. All of the Gryffindors knew, of course, but it was to be kept a strict secret from the other houses.
Oh all of Slytherin knew that he was gay, naturally. Draco had never made any attempt to hide his sexuality; wizard-kind was a lot more accepting of such things than the muggles and besides, the nail polish was a dead giveaway. Only muggle guys could get away with wearing nail polish and not have their sexuality questioned in the slightest…
But if his father found out that he was dating Harry Potter… Lucius would expect him to lure potter into a trap for Voldemort, and Draco would rather die than betray Harry.
A second year Ravenclaw boy colliding with him harshly shook him from his reverie, sending him sprawling to the ground. He cursed vehemently as he heard his ink bottle shatter, watching in horror as the emerald ink bled through his work.
He quickly regained his composure and stood, facing the young Ravenclaw who was scrambling to his feet. Oh great… It's Prentiss.
"Hello, Prentiss…" The raven-haired boy looked up sharply, his violet eyes wide with fright. "Why in such a hurry to get to class, Prentiss?" The boy opened his mouth to speak, but seemed temporarily unable to form words.
Draco frowned, almost pouting, and drew his wand. "Why Prentiss, I'd have expected a Ravenclaw to be able to form a simple sentence…" Prentiss opened his mouth to speak again, but then immediately shut it as Draco waved his wand threateningly.
"You know what? You've made me late, and caused me to break a brand new bottle of ink. It was a present, do you know what that means?" Prentiss made to shake his head, but never completed the motion, as Draco hit him with a hex first. Prentiss fell to the ground shaking violently, his teeth chattering uncontrollably.
Draco calmly stepped over his prone form, scowling at the boy's unsullied bag and forcefully quelling the urge to drench it in lavender ink, before collecting his own ink-stained bag and heading off to class. Oh yes, he loved that freezing hex.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Draco sketched idly, drawing lazy spirals on a miraculously preserved piece of parchment, one of the few untouched by the green ink. The ink he was using was a dark blue, not his favourite colour, but it would suffice until he could retrieve a spare bottle of green ink from his trunk.
His scribblings began to take form and he began to sketch furiously, his nose inches from the parchment, scratching away with his quill. The lines formed shapes, and those shapes grew to resemble eyes, framed by stylish glasses. They were Harry's.
At Draco's insistence, Harry had allowed himself to be dragged to Hogsmeade and Draco had chosen the glasses himself. They looked stunning on Harry, emphasizing his beautiful green eyes where the round glasses had hidden them.
Sighing, Draco got out a new piece of parchment, and glared at the blotch of emerald ink that stained the middle, as if it was there merely to spite him, or sent from the heavens to punish him for some crime he had committed. The parchment had been unblemished, but some ink had bled through from the other pieces of parchment that had been resting against it in his bag.
He was going to kill Prentiss… or at least make sure his mother found out he was dating a Hufflepuff girl. Draco grinned as he imagined the howler that would find Prentiss at breakfast. Smirking cruelly, Draco spent the rest of the lesson drafting a letter to Mrs. Prentiss.
The howler the next morning, however, didn't find its way to Prentiss. Instead, the smoking envelope was dropped onto Draco's plate. Curious, Draco poked it with his fork.
The reaction was instantaneous.
The envelope exploded and the great hall was filled with the high-pitched wail that was Mrs. Prentiss at her most enraged. Draco winced inwardly, but schooled his features carefully into a mask of utter calm.
It turned out that Mrs. Prentiss herself was a Hufflepuff. This did not bode well for Draco, given the distasteful things he had said about Hufflepuffs in the letter he had sent Mrs. Prentiss the previous night.
When finally Mrs. Prentiss had finished screaming obscenities and implying some very horrid things about his mother, (one of which being that she had cheated on Lucius with a donkey,) the great hall, which had been deathly quiet until that moment, erupted into raucous laughter. Even Dumbledore couldn't stifle a small chuckle, his vibrant eyes twinkling with mirth.
Draco rose from the table calmly, and proceeded to walk leisurely out of the great hall, stopping to fling a few hexes at random students, and ignoring Snape's glare of disapproval at his childish flare of temper.
He wasn't going to kill Prentiss, no, he was going to tell Myrtle that Prentiss liked her… Then Prentiss would be begging to be killed…
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A/N: this chapter is unfinished as of yet, when I get reviews I'll continue it. It may eventually be funny… depends on whether or not I feel like it. I shall not beg for reviews, as begging is beneath me, but it's implied.