A/N: Thank you for your nice reviews people! As I can tell from your
lovely reviews,
you're expecting some pirate-ness in this, so I'm not going to make you wait any longer.
ENJOY! :D
The Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean
Chapter II
"-It's not yer fault, matey; I know how hard it can be to scrub a few floors in the lower
levels, especially if there are a few MICE to accompany yeh! Hah! What kind of a ship
do you think I am captaining here? I can't have work done late over a herd of harmless
rodents, so perhaps it would be best to throw you overboard and get someone more
worthy for the job? How does that sound?" Captain Jack Sparrow glowered at the
musophobic pirate before him.
When there was no reply, and no move to try the mice instead of try the captain's
patience, the doomed pirate was thrown overboard and met with the ocean, which, to
Captain Jack, made the most satisfying splash.
The sun was shining, the wind was warm, and Captain Jack was having a wonderful day.
Suddenly, there was a huge BOOM and a flash of light, and before Jack could even shout
"Retaliate whomever dares challenge the Pearl!", he was accompanied by three giggling
girls. Captain Jack's mouth dropped.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here!?" he shouted to them angrily. They seized to
listen.
"This place is like - so cute, I mean what's it supposed to be? Like a Caribbean Luau, but
like - without the Hawaiian theme; it's totally Pirate!" Jessica jabbered quickly, peering
around the place.
"OMG! And look!" Mimi pointed excitedly at the flabbergasted crew. "They've got the
cute little captain and everything!"
"Now wait just a moment-" Captain Jack started, but was interrupted by a shove from
Tiffany as she sprung up and ran to the helm.
"Look! It's like - so real, girls! Wow, Mimi, your shoes like actually worked!" Tiffany
gushed. Mimi ran up to accompany her friend.
"Hey! Hey, hey!" Jack protested, rushing to the helm and slapping the girls' hands away
from the handles. "You will not touch that! Do you have any idea-"
"Are you the tour guide?" Jessica interrupted.
"What? No, I'm-"
"You want some gum?" Mimi asked him, shoving a hand in her pocket. The whole crew
drew their guns. When Mimi found her gum and offered Jack a piece, she looked up and
squealed. "Put those away! Put them away away awaaaaay!" she screamed.
"Like, not even funny! Those could be loaded!" Tiffany said to the pirates.
"Yeah! Like even with blanks those could STILL mess up our hair and all that," Jessica
added. The pirates, exchanging weird looks, decided silently among themselves that the
newcomers were insane, but harmless, and unarmed.
"How in the blazes did you three get here?" Jack demanded.
"Well excuuuuuse me mister high-and-mighty, but with an attitude like that, I don't think
I want YOUR service!" Jessica spat.
"Look, missy; how did you get here? It's a simple question to answer, and if you don't
tell me straightforward, it will be the plank for you; I make no special offers for the
ladies," Jack snarled. And on a second thought, he added, "Not like you three are much
of ladies, prancing around on my ship with paint all over your faces wearing ridiculous
outfits."
There was a pause in the dialogue as the three girls fumed. Suddenly, all three of them
burst into tears.
"I want air conditioning!" Jessica sobbed.
"You guys are mean! I can't believe you'd be so rude to willing paying customers!"
Tiffany wailed.
"And if you think we're going to suggest you guys to ANYONE, forget it! As if!" Mimi
spluttered. The girls began to shout and cry all at the same time, and their show became
annoying and painful all too quickly. The crew, all expect for the captain, went back to
their normal duties, whispering among themselves.
"All right, all right, stop it, I didn't mean it, just go back where you came from, savvy?"
Jack tried to speak over the girls' wailing.
"I don't know HOW!" Jessica sobbed.
"How did yeh get here?"
"The shoes! I tapped them together three times and I ended up here!" Mimi sniffed,
patting Tiffany on the back who was carefully wiping her mascara-leaking eyes.
"Try the shoes again," Jack suggested patiently, internally laughing at their comical
stupidity.
Mimi tried, but nothing happened. She began to wail again.
"Who are you, anyway? Aren't you a little dirty for a tour guide?" Jessica said tearfully.
"A what?" Jack asked, then he shook his head. "Look - I'm a captain of a pirate ship,
savvy? There's no 'tour guide' around here. Now, I don't know where yeh came from,
but you sure as hell aren't where you want to be, I can tell yeh that."
"You mean - we're not in a vacation spot?" Tiffany asked with fear in her voice.
"Uh; no," Jack replied. The girls started to wail again.
"Great, NOW I'll never get a tan! I'm going to die!" Mimi shouted.
"We're going to die before we're married! Before I can tell Brad Pitt I love him! It's not
fair!" Jessica crowed wetly.
"We're going to die right now before we can get a manicure, and we'll be dumped into
the ocean, which will ruin our cuticles and hair roots for suuuuuure!" Tiffany groaned
between sobs.
"Don't worry, Lass, we won't hurt you!" Jack assured Tiffany. All of a sudden, Tiffany
automatically stopped crying and unexpectedly leapt into the captain's arms.
"You understand me!" Tiffany blurted. "What's your name, pirrrate?" She rolled her 'r'
sounding generally like a hooker. "You have no idea how badly my boyfriend treats me, I
want YOU! I WANT you! I like SO want you!" she squealed, fingering his braids.
"Get off!" Jack blurted with disgust. Tiffany drew back and "hmphed". The other girls
were over themselves, and all three stood and stared.
There was silence.
"OMG!" Mimi squee-ed, pushing past Jack Sparrow towards a conveniently placed wine
rack. "Is that that expensive 1659 rare white wine? Oh, I'd like die for a glass of that!"
"Let's get drunk on it!" Jessica sang insanely.
"Something I understand - and agree on!" Jack said, throwing up his hands in surrender.
"Yeah, let's get through the technical stuff later," Tiffany said, grabbing the bottle off the
shelf before Mimi could get her hands on it. "This is the only way I know how t relieve
stress that causes wrinkles."
"Amen," Jack said, snatching the bottle from Tiffany.
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Flames are accepted! Got one already, look there! Please review
and tell me what you honestly think! :D :D :D :D :D
you're expecting some pirate-ness in this, so I'm not going to make you wait any longer.
ENJOY! :D
The Teenyboppers of the Like, Caribbean
Chapter II
"-It's not yer fault, matey; I know how hard it can be to scrub a few floors in the lower
levels, especially if there are a few MICE to accompany yeh! Hah! What kind of a ship
do you think I am captaining here? I can't have work done late over a herd of harmless
rodents, so perhaps it would be best to throw you overboard and get someone more
worthy for the job? How does that sound?" Captain Jack Sparrow glowered at the
musophobic pirate before him.
When there was no reply, and no move to try the mice instead of try the captain's
patience, the doomed pirate was thrown overboard and met with the ocean, which, to
Captain Jack, made the most satisfying splash.
The sun was shining, the wind was warm, and Captain Jack was having a wonderful day.
Suddenly, there was a huge BOOM and a flash of light, and before Jack could even shout
"Retaliate whomever dares challenge the Pearl!", he was accompanied by three giggling
girls. Captain Jack's mouth dropped.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here!?" he shouted to them angrily. They seized to
listen.
"This place is like - so cute, I mean what's it supposed to be? Like a Caribbean Luau, but
like - without the Hawaiian theme; it's totally Pirate!" Jessica jabbered quickly, peering
around the place.
"OMG! And look!" Mimi pointed excitedly at the flabbergasted crew. "They've got the
cute little captain and everything!"
"Now wait just a moment-" Captain Jack started, but was interrupted by a shove from
Tiffany as she sprung up and ran to the helm.
"Look! It's like - so real, girls! Wow, Mimi, your shoes like actually worked!" Tiffany
gushed. Mimi ran up to accompany her friend.
"Hey! Hey, hey!" Jack protested, rushing to the helm and slapping the girls' hands away
from the handles. "You will not touch that! Do you have any idea-"
"Are you the tour guide?" Jessica interrupted.
"What? No, I'm-"
"You want some gum?" Mimi asked him, shoving a hand in her pocket. The whole crew
drew their guns. When Mimi found her gum and offered Jack a piece, she looked up and
squealed. "Put those away! Put them away away awaaaaay!" she screamed.
"Like, not even funny! Those could be loaded!" Tiffany said to the pirates.
"Yeah! Like even with blanks those could STILL mess up our hair and all that," Jessica
added. The pirates, exchanging weird looks, decided silently among themselves that the
newcomers were insane, but harmless, and unarmed.
"How in the blazes did you three get here?" Jack demanded.
"Well excuuuuuse me mister high-and-mighty, but with an attitude like that, I don't think
I want YOUR service!" Jessica spat.
"Look, missy; how did you get here? It's a simple question to answer, and if you don't
tell me straightforward, it will be the plank for you; I make no special offers for the
ladies," Jack snarled. And on a second thought, he added, "Not like you three are much
of ladies, prancing around on my ship with paint all over your faces wearing ridiculous
outfits."
There was a pause in the dialogue as the three girls fumed. Suddenly, all three of them
burst into tears.
"I want air conditioning!" Jessica sobbed.
"You guys are mean! I can't believe you'd be so rude to willing paying customers!"
Tiffany wailed.
"And if you think we're going to suggest you guys to ANYONE, forget it! As if!" Mimi
spluttered. The girls began to shout and cry all at the same time, and their show became
annoying and painful all too quickly. The crew, all expect for the captain, went back to
their normal duties, whispering among themselves.
"All right, all right, stop it, I didn't mean it, just go back where you came from, savvy?"
Jack tried to speak over the girls' wailing.
"I don't know HOW!" Jessica sobbed.
"How did yeh get here?"
"The shoes! I tapped them together three times and I ended up here!" Mimi sniffed,
patting Tiffany on the back who was carefully wiping her mascara-leaking eyes.
"Try the shoes again," Jack suggested patiently, internally laughing at their comical
stupidity.
Mimi tried, but nothing happened. She began to wail again.
"Who are you, anyway? Aren't you a little dirty for a tour guide?" Jessica said tearfully.
"A what?" Jack asked, then he shook his head. "Look - I'm a captain of a pirate ship,
savvy? There's no 'tour guide' around here. Now, I don't know where yeh came from,
but you sure as hell aren't where you want to be, I can tell yeh that."
"You mean - we're not in a vacation spot?" Tiffany asked with fear in her voice.
"Uh; no," Jack replied. The girls started to wail again.
"Great, NOW I'll never get a tan! I'm going to die!" Mimi shouted.
"We're going to die before we're married! Before I can tell Brad Pitt I love him! It's not
fair!" Jessica crowed wetly.
"We're going to die right now before we can get a manicure, and we'll be dumped into
the ocean, which will ruin our cuticles and hair roots for suuuuuure!" Tiffany groaned
between sobs.
"Don't worry, Lass, we won't hurt you!" Jack assured Tiffany. All of a sudden, Tiffany
automatically stopped crying and unexpectedly leapt into the captain's arms.
"You understand me!" Tiffany blurted. "What's your name, pirrrate?" She rolled her 'r'
sounding generally like a hooker. "You have no idea how badly my boyfriend treats me, I
want YOU! I WANT you! I like SO want you!" she squealed, fingering his braids.
"Get off!" Jack blurted with disgust. Tiffany drew back and "hmphed". The other girls
were over themselves, and all three stood and stared.
There was silence.
"OMG!" Mimi squee-ed, pushing past Jack Sparrow towards a conveniently placed wine
rack. "Is that that expensive 1659 rare white wine? Oh, I'd like die for a glass of that!"
"Let's get drunk on it!" Jessica sang insanely.
"Something I understand - and agree on!" Jack said, throwing up his hands in surrender.
"Yeah, let's get through the technical stuff later," Tiffany said, grabbing the bottle off the
shelf before Mimi could get her hands on it. "This is the only way I know how t relieve
stress that causes wrinkles."
"Amen," Jack said, snatching the bottle from Tiffany.
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Flames are accepted! Got one already, look there! Please review
and tell me what you honestly think! :D :D :D :D :D