"You asshole" Jane Goodale said as tears welled in her pretty brown eyes.
Eddie Alden looked at Jane helplessly. "It wasn't my fault Jane," Was all
he could say before a large clear blue glass vase that held gorgeous long-
stemmed magnolia blue lilies flew past his head and smashed in the door
frame, sending pieces of blue glass and sad looking flowers floating in
their water at his feet.
But everything Jane needed to convict him of was clutched in her hands. The lavender silk panties in her hands were not hers and they both knew it, so Eddie didn't even try to deny the fact that he had met a woman in a bar when Jane was away in Syracuse. "What was her name?" She demanded as she crumpled said panties and threw them at Eddie. "Katie" He said softly and Jane laughed almost cruelly.
"Tell me why you did it" She said as she stared intently at the dying flowers. "I don't know why Jane, you were gone and I was missing you" Jane rolled her eyes. "1 and a half years don't mean anything to you does it?" She asked, sadness overtaking her voice. "Of course it does Jane, but you don't understand" He said helplessly and suddenly the anger was back. She was turning into a one-woman circus. "What don't I understand Eddie?" Her voice was almost a hiss.
He didn't know what to say, to calm her down or to make her believe him. "I don't know what you want me to say Jane, I'm sorry" She shook her head and the tears that had been kept so well at bay began to fall. "I loved you" She sobbed out and Eddie thought that he could pinpoint the exact moment when he felt his heart rip into two. Now his own tears began to well in his eyes but he stubbornly pushed them back.
"What do you want me to do Jane?" He asked softly, he wished that she would look at him, but her eyes were holding firmly on the flowers by his feet. "I want you to go" She said in a voice that was barely more then a whisper but it affected Eddie as if she had screamed it in his face. He turned her back to her and walked to the door, his footsteps nearly echoing in the loft. As he wrenched the door knob he looked at her sadly.
"I wish I could turn back time so I never did what I did, but I can't. It was a mistake that I never intended to make. That day when you ran after the cab like an idiot, I knew that you were the only woman that I would ever need in my life again, but that night I was weak Jane because I am just a man. You of all people should understand how weak men are. Whatever else I tell you, you won't listen to it because I know how proud and stubborn you can be. You can disbelieve everything I've just told you but not this, if you never believe anything in the world again let this be the last thing you remember, I love you Jane"
The door slowly shut behind him and Jane almost wished that he had slammed it and stormed off in a rage. They had had fights before and it was always Eddie's style to pour an ice-laden drink and stormed out of the apartment, but not tonight. His steps were slow, like an old man who wasn't sure where he was going. Jane slowly sank down to the couch where she and Eddie had spent so many cozy nights talking or watching TV or just simply being together. She sniffled and sobbed into her hands. The love of her life had just walked out the door and she didn't know if she would ever see him walk through the apartment doors again.
Eddie walked along the side of the East River and looked into the midnight blue waters that swirled and splashed along the rafters of the East River Bridge. The wind was ice cold and made the wet trail of tears on his cheeks burn before he angrily wiped them away with the back of his hand. He ran a hand over his dark brown hair and gave a watery sigh.
Sleeping with Katie Dawson was one of the worst mistakes he had made in his life, and he had made a lot. He was lonely and a pretty young redhead was paying attention to him and with enough bourbon and loneness in his system, he had let Katie convince him to take her up to his apartment. She had been soft and obedient and didn't stay late in the morning as some of his previous exploits were known to do.
He should have stayed in the apartment and watched the Yankees kill the Braves with his own supply of beer and whiskey, but he had found his way down to the bar and that was when the trouble began. Suddenly he realized what he had been doing to all the women whose hearts he had broken and he felt sick. He never fought that being rejected could hurt as much as it did; it was like feeling someone sticking a needle into his heart and draining everything that kept it alive.
The time on his watch was just rounding two in the morning and all the lights in the houses and buildings were kept wisely off, as if they knew that he would be passing through. He dipped his hand inside his thin coat pocket and retrieved a small box which held a classy diamond ring. Had Helena's underwear not been found, he would have asked her to marry him that night; he knew exactly what he was going to say.
The garder between the river and the walkway was still slick from the rain that morning, he remembered he thought that Jane would like to have a little garden bow outside the bedroom window so she could grow and tend her flowers that she kept in pots around the apartment and babied. The cold wind returned and teased his mused dark brown hair and he sighed then cursed himself viciously. He looked up at the burnished silver moon and millions of twinkling stars and settled on a still semi-damp bench and ignored that fact that his pants were getting wet.
He rested his head in his hands and didn't know for how long he didn't move, he just sat there in the chilly New York morning that reminded him that fall was yielding to winter and that the snow would soon encrust the ground, pavement and grass alike. His breath came out in white puffs when he lifted his head up. He had come to his conclusion. A second wind came in, more harsh then before and ripped at his lean body.
The railing was slippery and ice cold as he placed a hand over it, his fingers clenched it in consideration and he sighed. He looked over the side of the railing and examined the drop. It was a good 300 feet from the bridge to the river. The water was said to be 20 degrees this time of year and if the fall didn't kill him the hypothermia would.
With a sigh as bitter as the wind, he hoisted himself up onto the railing, careful not to let his feet slip out from under him. He balanced himself for a minute, looking down into the swirling dark waters that would consume him. His breath came faster in thick white puffs of steam and he closed his eyes. Another wind came by and nearly shoved him off the garder.
When another wind came, it was unusually warmer; he thought he could hear a woman calling his name on the wind. He looked over his shoulder yet saw no one. He sighed deeply and slowly urged himself off the garder to the pavement again. "It's not worth it" He said to himself softly and took a step back as if to examine the garder and the river.
He shuffled his feet slowly as he walked along the road and glanced at all the unlit apartment buildings and offices. Rain began to fall again, softly at first then harder and harder until it was driving and ice cold. Tomorrow the roads would ice like Jane's heart and people would abandon the public transportation and walk, crowding the streets even more.
He began to prep himself for what he was going to say to Jane when he got back. He would convince her that he would be faithful to her from that moment now, and then he would get down on one knee and make her his wife. Armed with his speech, he crossed the four-way intersection. So focused on his speech and how he would kiss Jane and make her knees turn weak, he didn't notice the rumble of a car motor was it drove down the nearly deserted street with it's headlights off, by the time he did notice, it was almost right on top of him, and the really funny thing was, the car didn't stop even for a second.
But everything Jane needed to convict him of was clutched in her hands. The lavender silk panties in her hands were not hers and they both knew it, so Eddie didn't even try to deny the fact that he had met a woman in a bar when Jane was away in Syracuse. "What was her name?" She demanded as she crumpled said panties and threw them at Eddie. "Katie" He said softly and Jane laughed almost cruelly.
"Tell me why you did it" She said as she stared intently at the dying flowers. "I don't know why Jane, you were gone and I was missing you" Jane rolled her eyes. "1 and a half years don't mean anything to you does it?" She asked, sadness overtaking her voice. "Of course it does Jane, but you don't understand" He said helplessly and suddenly the anger was back. She was turning into a one-woman circus. "What don't I understand Eddie?" Her voice was almost a hiss.
He didn't know what to say, to calm her down or to make her believe him. "I don't know what you want me to say Jane, I'm sorry" She shook her head and the tears that had been kept so well at bay began to fall. "I loved you" She sobbed out and Eddie thought that he could pinpoint the exact moment when he felt his heart rip into two. Now his own tears began to well in his eyes but he stubbornly pushed them back.
"What do you want me to do Jane?" He asked softly, he wished that she would look at him, but her eyes were holding firmly on the flowers by his feet. "I want you to go" She said in a voice that was barely more then a whisper but it affected Eddie as if she had screamed it in his face. He turned her back to her and walked to the door, his footsteps nearly echoing in the loft. As he wrenched the door knob he looked at her sadly.
"I wish I could turn back time so I never did what I did, but I can't. It was a mistake that I never intended to make. That day when you ran after the cab like an idiot, I knew that you were the only woman that I would ever need in my life again, but that night I was weak Jane because I am just a man. You of all people should understand how weak men are. Whatever else I tell you, you won't listen to it because I know how proud and stubborn you can be. You can disbelieve everything I've just told you but not this, if you never believe anything in the world again let this be the last thing you remember, I love you Jane"
The door slowly shut behind him and Jane almost wished that he had slammed it and stormed off in a rage. They had had fights before and it was always Eddie's style to pour an ice-laden drink and stormed out of the apartment, but not tonight. His steps were slow, like an old man who wasn't sure where he was going. Jane slowly sank down to the couch where she and Eddie had spent so many cozy nights talking or watching TV or just simply being together. She sniffled and sobbed into her hands. The love of her life had just walked out the door and she didn't know if she would ever see him walk through the apartment doors again.
Eddie walked along the side of the East River and looked into the midnight blue waters that swirled and splashed along the rafters of the East River Bridge. The wind was ice cold and made the wet trail of tears on his cheeks burn before he angrily wiped them away with the back of his hand. He ran a hand over his dark brown hair and gave a watery sigh.
Sleeping with Katie Dawson was one of the worst mistakes he had made in his life, and he had made a lot. He was lonely and a pretty young redhead was paying attention to him and with enough bourbon and loneness in his system, he had let Katie convince him to take her up to his apartment. She had been soft and obedient and didn't stay late in the morning as some of his previous exploits were known to do.
He should have stayed in the apartment and watched the Yankees kill the Braves with his own supply of beer and whiskey, but he had found his way down to the bar and that was when the trouble began. Suddenly he realized what he had been doing to all the women whose hearts he had broken and he felt sick. He never fought that being rejected could hurt as much as it did; it was like feeling someone sticking a needle into his heart and draining everything that kept it alive.
The time on his watch was just rounding two in the morning and all the lights in the houses and buildings were kept wisely off, as if they knew that he would be passing through. He dipped his hand inside his thin coat pocket and retrieved a small box which held a classy diamond ring. Had Helena's underwear not been found, he would have asked her to marry him that night; he knew exactly what he was going to say.
The garder between the river and the walkway was still slick from the rain that morning, he remembered he thought that Jane would like to have a little garden bow outside the bedroom window so she could grow and tend her flowers that she kept in pots around the apartment and babied. The cold wind returned and teased his mused dark brown hair and he sighed then cursed himself viciously. He looked up at the burnished silver moon and millions of twinkling stars and settled on a still semi-damp bench and ignored that fact that his pants were getting wet.
He rested his head in his hands and didn't know for how long he didn't move, he just sat there in the chilly New York morning that reminded him that fall was yielding to winter and that the snow would soon encrust the ground, pavement and grass alike. His breath came out in white puffs when he lifted his head up. He had come to his conclusion. A second wind came in, more harsh then before and ripped at his lean body.
The railing was slippery and ice cold as he placed a hand over it, his fingers clenched it in consideration and he sighed. He looked over the side of the railing and examined the drop. It was a good 300 feet from the bridge to the river. The water was said to be 20 degrees this time of year and if the fall didn't kill him the hypothermia would.
With a sigh as bitter as the wind, he hoisted himself up onto the railing, careful not to let his feet slip out from under him. He balanced himself for a minute, looking down into the swirling dark waters that would consume him. His breath came faster in thick white puffs of steam and he closed his eyes. Another wind came by and nearly shoved him off the garder.
When another wind came, it was unusually warmer; he thought he could hear a woman calling his name on the wind. He looked over his shoulder yet saw no one. He sighed deeply and slowly urged himself off the garder to the pavement again. "It's not worth it" He said to himself softly and took a step back as if to examine the garder and the river.
He shuffled his feet slowly as he walked along the road and glanced at all the unlit apartment buildings and offices. Rain began to fall again, softly at first then harder and harder until it was driving and ice cold. Tomorrow the roads would ice like Jane's heart and people would abandon the public transportation and walk, crowding the streets even more.
He began to prep himself for what he was going to say to Jane when he got back. He would convince her that he would be faithful to her from that moment now, and then he would get down on one knee and make her his wife. Armed with his speech, he crossed the four-way intersection. So focused on his speech and how he would kiss Jane and make her knees turn weak, he didn't notice the rumble of a car motor was it drove down the nearly deserted street with it's headlights off, by the time he did notice, it was almost right on top of him, and the really funny thing was, the car didn't stop even for a second.