Frodo stood at the edge of a cliff. Looking mournfully down its expanse, a single tear rolled down his hobbit cheeks. Sam, on his way to the local hobbit pub for some ale and hopefully a run in with a certain female hobbit, stopped in his tracks. "What's eating you, master frodo?" "Oh, Sam. I'm getting old. No one comes to visit me anymore, to hear my tales of our quest. I don't have a girl, and bilbo's long gone! I have no purpose. I'm gonna jump and end this purposeless existence! " Sam, thoroughly depressed by his words, agreed. "Yeah. I'm fat and I'm sure rose hates me cuz I forgot her birthday. I can't even swim, for goodness sakes! Lets jump together." "On the count of three: one, two." gandalf raced up behind them on his white horse. "What are you two up to?" he dismounted. They told him their story. Sorrowfully, gandalf said: "well, the one ring was not destroyed in the fires of mount doom, as we thought sauron is back I have failed. Even my magic could not stop it. What kind of worthless wizard am I?" They began again. "One, two." Aragorn showed up looking gloomy. " arwen kicked me out, because she says I will never be a true king, so she doesn't want to marry me. she broke my sword.!!" He sobbed. "Then eowen started making passes at me, till she saw my broken sword. She said I wasn't a real man with a broken sword. And all legolas can do is obsess over his hair when I talk to him." "Join us." Cried frodo. "We are all jumping of this cliff to end our weary existences." "Great idea!" said legolass who appeared out of nowhere. " I'm losing my beautiful, glorious hair. There's no point in going on." Just then a piece of golden hair floated by. "nooooooo!!!!!!" Legolass sobbed and beat at the ground. "Its not fair!" "Alright lets do it," said frodo. "One, two.three!"
Everyone jumped except frodo. "Just kidding." He called after them. " You did a great job, galadriel. They never suspected a thing!" Galadriel appeared from between the trees. "I foresaw it. We will be the most powerful rulers in all middle earth.legolass it so manipulative." She laughed and pulled out a stand of her own hair. " How pathetic." Frodo waved the one ring at her. "You want it?" her eyes blazed red with envy and desire. "Yes." She dove for it and flew right off the cliff.
"What a sucker. for an elf, she sure is clumsy." He laughed evilly, exactly like agent smith in 'reloaded'. Putting on a pair of hobbit size designer black sunglasses, he got on his Harley and drove off into the sunset.
Unfortunately, he didn't see the deer until it was too late. The End.