A/N Ok, this chapter takes place two years after the first and this chapter
is very sad, but don't worry! Things will get a lot happier later on so
please keep reading!
princess_diva06 ~ Thanks for reviewing, and here's the update!
With In A Dream ~ It will get happier I promise, but not in this chapter, it just gets sadder! And I'll talk to you later!
Chapter 2 ~ The Second Hardest Goodbye
June 1915
Rose clutched the piece of paper tightly in her hands, tears running down her porcelain face. Josephine, now two old, sat next to her on her bed, not understanding why her mommy was so upset.
The reason was plain. The paper Rose held was an eviction notice. She had a week to get out of the apartment and find a new place to live. She hadn't been able to pay the rent for along time now as she had been fired from her waitressing job as she took to much time off with Josephine now she paid dearly for it. She had been put of a job for three months and was unable to find work.
But as she picked her daughter up and held her close to her chest she realised what she must do and even more tears broke loose.
"Why do you cry mommy?" Josephine asked in her baby voice gazing deep into her mother's eyes which had just about gone out.
"I am sad my dear. But don't you worry," Rose replied softly drying her eyes.
"Why?" said Josephine.
"Because my dear, because," she replied.
Josephine was quiet for a while. After some time Rose spoke again and her voice was filled with emotion as she spoke gently to her daughter. "Jose, you may have to go away for a while." she trailed off as she remembered
*It's only for a little while, they'll be another boat for the daddy's, this one's for the mommy's and children. Now you be a good little girl and hold mommy's hand.*
She blanked that from her mind and concentrated back on her daughter who was staring up at her horrified. "No mommy, no! I don't want to go away!"
"I know you don't want to go away my dear, I don't want you to go either. But sometimes people have to do things, even if they don't like it. It's for a little while, only for a little while. Mommy will come and get you, I promise. It' just, Jose we have to move away from here, and where we'll go I don't know. But I know only one place where you will be safe. My little girl, I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to you know that," Rose hugged Josephine tight and Josephine started to sob.
"I still love you mommy, no matter what," Josephine sobbed.
2I know. But Josephine, there is something very important I have to tell you about- about your daddy," said Rose
"But I don't have a daddy. I just have you," replied Josephine.
"Dear, everyone has a daddy, like everyone has a mommy. Your daddy Josephine, well your daddy is in heaven now."
"Heaven? My daddy is in heaven?" Josephine said unsurely.
"Yes. Your daddy was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and the kindest. He was an artist- some one who can draw beautiful pictures," she added seeing the blank look on Josephine's face. The little girl had never heard her mother talk about her father before now and being only two didn't really understand much. "Oh he was so kind to me, he saved my life to you know. We were on board a big ship and it sank and that's how your daddy went to heaven." Rose explained steering clear of the word died as this was still a delicate subject for her too.
Rose talked for a long time of Josephine's daddy, but did not give him a name. Josephine fell to sleep listening to the sweet music of her mother's voice.
Rose tucked her up tight in her bed and lay next to her not wanting to disturb her by taking her back to her own room. Not tomorrow, but the day after she decided. One last day with her daughter and she was going to make it special.
~*~
Rose woke Josephine up early the next day and dressed her in the best clothes she had for her daughter. She made a special breakfast using what little she had lying around- perfect ingredients for making pancakes, but she ate non herself. Her appetite had left her only to be replaced by despair, though she covered this up for her daughter.
Rose decided that she was going to take Josephine to the pier which she had not been to since that day when Josephine was only a baby. It would be good for her to see the sea with her mother one last time and just spend some quality time together.
They both had a pleasant walk from Rose's apartment down to the pier in the warm day. There was a man selling ice cream down by the pier which Josephine eyed hungrily. Rose saw and felt a stab of guilt. She could not even buy her daughter an ice cream. Yes, it would be best that she go to a home that can provide properly for her.
What Rose was going to do when she had to leave her apartment she did not know. Maybe she could find a place down town, though this was pretty down town, she dreaded to think what the more down town part of this place could be like. That's why she had decided to do what she had to- and give Josephine a better chance at life.
"Mommy, where are we going today? Do I still have to go away for a while?" Josephine asked.
"We are going to the pier today my sweet. Down by the sea," replied Rose.
"But mommy, you said you didn't like the pier, that's why you never took me to it again. Remember mommy? You said you took me there when I was very small but it was a bad place for little girls, but now I'm a big girl, aren't I mommy?" Josephine said proudly.
Rose smiled and nodded. "Yes dear, you are grown up now."
"So if I'm grown up I don't have to go away because I can help look after you too when you are sad and need a big hug. I don't want to leave you all by yourself."
"I wont be by myself for very long, I'll come and get you as soon as I can. Now let's not talk about it any more and enjoy the day- it is a beautiful one after all," Rose said and led her daughter over to sit on the bench that she had sat on when she had first brought her daughter to the pier.
Rose was amazed to see that opposite her was the same sign reading 'Portraits- 10ยข'. And there was the man that looked so much like Jack with his back turned to Rose and her daughter facing over the sea drawing yet again. The same blond hair and everything. Rose tried not to look at him and instead turned to her daughter who was gazing out over the ocean.
"Jose, come here," Rose stood up and took her tiny hand and led her over to the railing to gaze out over the ocean, this would distract her from that man.
"It's so big," said Josephine. "And blue. How did it get so big and blue mommy?"
"I don't know," said Rose. Josephine remained silent and went back to staring out over the vast blue thing that was the ocean. Rose sighed and followed suit and soon forgot about the man as she lost herself in the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.
Unbeknown to her the man who was drawing looked up momentarily from what he was doing; his eyes fell on the women at the railing. He recognised her, she looked so much like.. She was dead, he had to snap out of it! She was dead and was never coming back. Besides, this woman had a child with her. But oh how she looked like her! He shook his head sadly and went back to his drawing.
Rose and Josephine spent nearly the whole day walking around the pier. Rose did not see that man again, for which she was thankful. Soon they both made their way back to Rose's apartment as Josephine was now very tired, so Rose carried her most of the way home.
Rose intended to put Josephine to bad once they had got home and she had given her her dinner, they had eaten in the day, but very little. Rose had scrapped her purse and found just enough money to buy Josephine an ice cream, which they had shared between them seen as Josephine couldn't eat one all to herself. She intended to pack Josephine's things and get ready for what she would have to do tomorrow. She knew that the children's home would take her in, she just wanted to foster her child not have her adopted. Maybe someone would be willing to give a little girl a home.
~*~
The next morning came too quickly. Rose had stayed awake al might just watching her daughter sleep peacefully. Today was the day she had promised herself. But now that she came to think about it, she wanted yesterday to play over and over again so that this day would never come. But it had. Rose was deeply regretting her decision. She could change her mind. She could take Josephine with her, she didn't know where but she could. And.and..
And that would just be selfish. She knew that Josephine did not want to leave her, but it was for the best. That's it. She had to keep telling herself that, it's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.. but it hurt.
Rose let Josephine wake up in her own time and dressed her in a clean purple dress, one of the best she had brought with Cal's money. Josephine's small suit cases with all of her belongings in it were packed and ready. Rose made breakfast but did not eat any herself. She just sat at the table with her head in her hands while Josephine ate in silence.
"Mommy, I don't have to go. Please don't make me go," Josephine whispered pleadingly.
"Oh Josie, I wish it was that simple my lamb, but it is not fair. We will have no where to live, and the truth is that mommy can't really look after you anymore. You will go to a nice family who will give you anything you want and you will never have to worry about anything again. One day mommy will come back and get you when she's sorted her own life out and is back on her path."
Josephine burst into tears. "I. Don't. Want. To. Leave!" she sobbed.
A tear rolled down Rose's cheek which she tried to conceal. She had to be strong for the both of them. "Oh Jose, don't! Please be a good little girl. Just remember, mommy loves you more than anything and always will. Remember your daddy. He will be very proud if you be a good girl. He is always watching over you. And I'll always be in here," she put her hand on her daughter's heart. Why was she doing this?
~*~
Rose walked down the street, Josephine clutched close to her chest, the small suitcase grasped in her hand. She stood outside the gates of the children's home. This was it. No going back. It's for the best. It's for the best.
Inside was bare and there was quite a cold look about the place. Rose had to fill out some forms stating reasons for giving up her child and so on. She stated that she only wanted her daughter to be fostered as this was only temporary and she would be back to collect her once she had gotten her life in order.
"Mommy, please don't leave me here! Please!" Josephine sobbed.
"I have to. One day you will understand why. Now come and give mommy a big hug." Rose said trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Josephine did as she was told. A women who worked there came to take Josephine away, she stood in the background while Rose said her good byes. Rose pulled back from the hug to speak to her daughter, wiping away the tears that had fallen in the process. "Now, I want you to be a good little girl and go with the nice lady ok?" Josephine cried harder. "Be a good little girl and I promise, one day we will be together again and I will never forget about you."
"I-I won't forget either," Josephine sobbed.
Then the lady stepped forward and with a nod from Rose picked a by now screaming Josephine up and began to carry her away. "I love you!" Rose called from down the corridor.
"NO! No mommy no! don't leave me! No!" Josephine beat her small fists on the lady that was carrying her away form her mother.
Rose could hear her screaming as she disappeared around the corner of the corridor. All she wanted to do was run and comfort her. another women came and escorted Rose out of the building with a few reassuring words. "She'll be in good hands miss, she'll be in good hands. Don't worry."
She left Rose outside. She sat down on the steps and held her head in her hands and cried and cried and cried. That was the second hardest goodbye she had ever had make.
A/N *sob sob* Awwwwwww! I hope that that wasn't to sad, though I have to admit, reading it back through i have a lump in my throat!!! So, what's next for Rose? Well if you want to find out stay tuned for the next chapter!!
princess_diva06 ~ Thanks for reviewing, and here's the update!
With In A Dream ~ It will get happier I promise, but not in this chapter, it just gets sadder! And I'll talk to you later!
Chapter 2 ~ The Second Hardest Goodbye
June 1915
Rose clutched the piece of paper tightly in her hands, tears running down her porcelain face. Josephine, now two old, sat next to her on her bed, not understanding why her mommy was so upset.
The reason was plain. The paper Rose held was an eviction notice. She had a week to get out of the apartment and find a new place to live. She hadn't been able to pay the rent for along time now as she had been fired from her waitressing job as she took to much time off with Josephine now she paid dearly for it. She had been put of a job for three months and was unable to find work.
But as she picked her daughter up and held her close to her chest she realised what she must do and even more tears broke loose.
"Why do you cry mommy?" Josephine asked in her baby voice gazing deep into her mother's eyes which had just about gone out.
"I am sad my dear. But don't you worry," Rose replied softly drying her eyes.
"Why?" said Josephine.
"Because my dear, because," she replied.
Josephine was quiet for a while. After some time Rose spoke again and her voice was filled with emotion as she spoke gently to her daughter. "Jose, you may have to go away for a while." she trailed off as she remembered
*It's only for a little while, they'll be another boat for the daddy's, this one's for the mommy's and children. Now you be a good little girl and hold mommy's hand.*
She blanked that from her mind and concentrated back on her daughter who was staring up at her horrified. "No mommy, no! I don't want to go away!"
"I know you don't want to go away my dear, I don't want you to go either. But sometimes people have to do things, even if they don't like it. It's for a little while, only for a little while. Mommy will come and get you, I promise. It' just, Jose we have to move away from here, and where we'll go I don't know. But I know only one place where you will be safe. My little girl, I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to you know that," Rose hugged Josephine tight and Josephine started to sob.
"I still love you mommy, no matter what," Josephine sobbed.
2I know. But Josephine, there is something very important I have to tell you about- about your daddy," said Rose
"But I don't have a daddy. I just have you," replied Josephine.
"Dear, everyone has a daddy, like everyone has a mommy. Your daddy Josephine, well your daddy is in heaven now."
"Heaven? My daddy is in heaven?" Josephine said unsurely.
"Yes. Your daddy was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and the kindest. He was an artist- some one who can draw beautiful pictures," she added seeing the blank look on Josephine's face. The little girl had never heard her mother talk about her father before now and being only two didn't really understand much. "Oh he was so kind to me, he saved my life to you know. We were on board a big ship and it sank and that's how your daddy went to heaven." Rose explained steering clear of the word died as this was still a delicate subject for her too.
Rose talked for a long time of Josephine's daddy, but did not give him a name. Josephine fell to sleep listening to the sweet music of her mother's voice.
Rose tucked her up tight in her bed and lay next to her not wanting to disturb her by taking her back to her own room. Not tomorrow, but the day after she decided. One last day with her daughter and she was going to make it special.
~*~
Rose woke Josephine up early the next day and dressed her in the best clothes she had for her daughter. She made a special breakfast using what little she had lying around- perfect ingredients for making pancakes, but she ate non herself. Her appetite had left her only to be replaced by despair, though she covered this up for her daughter.
Rose decided that she was going to take Josephine to the pier which she had not been to since that day when Josephine was only a baby. It would be good for her to see the sea with her mother one last time and just spend some quality time together.
They both had a pleasant walk from Rose's apartment down to the pier in the warm day. There was a man selling ice cream down by the pier which Josephine eyed hungrily. Rose saw and felt a stab of guilt. She could not even buy her daughter an ice cream. Yes, it would be best that she go to a home that can provide properly for her.
What Rose was going to do when she had to leave her apartment she did not know. Maybe she could find a place down town, though this was pretty down town, she dreaded to think what the more down town part of this place could be like. That's why she had decided to do what she had to- and give Josephine a better chance at life.
"Mommy, where are we going today? Do I still have to go away for a while?" Josephine asked.
"We are going to the pier today my sweet. Down by the sea," replied Rose.
"But mommy, you said you didn't like the pier, that's why you never took me to it again. Remember mommy? You said you took me there when I was very small but it was a bad place for little girls, but now I'm a big girl, aren't I mommy?" Josephine said proudly.
Rose smiled and nodded. "Yes dear, you are grown up now."
"So if I'm grown up I don't have to go away because I can help look after you too when you are sad and need a big hug. I don't want to leave you all by yourself."
"I wont be by myself for very long, I'll come and get you as soon as I can. Now let's not talk about it any more and enjoy the day- it is a beautiful one after all," Rose said and led her daughter over to sit on the bench that she had sat on when she had first brought her daughter to the pier.
Rose was amazed to see that opposite her was the same sign reading 'Portraits- 10ยข'. And there was the man that looked so much like Jack with his back turned to Rose and her daughter facing over the sea drawing yet again. The same blond hair and everything. Rose tried not to look at him and instead turned to her daughter who was gazing out over the ocean.
"Jose, come here," Rose stood up and took her tiny hand and led her over to the railing to gaze out over the ocean, this would distract her from that man.
"It's so big," said Josephine. "And blue. How did it get so big and blue mommy?"
"I don't know," said Rose. Josephine remained silent and went back to staring out over the vast blue thing that was the ocean. Rose sighed and followed suit and soon forgot about the man as she lost herself in the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.
Unbeknown to her the man who was drawing looked up momentarily from what he was doing; his eyes fell on the women at the railing. He recognised her, she looked so much like.. She was dead, he had to snap out of it! She was dead and was never coming back. Besides, this woman had a child with her. But oh how she looked like her! He shook his head sadly and went back to his drawing.
Rose and Josephine spent nearly the whole day walking around the pier. Rose did not see that man again, for which she was thankful. Soon they both made their way back to Rose's apartment as Josephine was now very tired, so Rose carried her most of the way home.
Rose intended to put Josephine to bad once they had got home and she had given her her dinner, they had eaten in the day, but very little. Rose had scrapped her purse and found just enough money to buy Josephine an ice cream, which they had shared between them seen as Josephine couldn't eat one all to herself. She intended to pack Josephine's things and get ready for what she would have to do tomorrow. She knew that the children's home would take her in, she just wanted to foster her child not have her adopted. Maybe someone would be willing to give a little girl a home.
~*~
The next morning came too quickly. Rose had stayed awake al might just watching her daughter sleep peacefully. Today was the day she had promised herself. But now that she came to think about it, she wanted yesterday to play over and over again so that this day would never come. But it had. Rose was deeply regretting her decision. She could change her mind. She could take Josephine with her, she didn't know where but she could. And.and..
And that would just be selfish. She knew that Josephine did not want to leave her, but it was for the best. That's it. She had to keep telling herself that, it's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.. but it hurt.
Rose let Josephine wake up in her own time and dressed her in a clean purple dress, one of the best she had brought with Cal's money. Josephine's small suit cases with all of her belongings in it were packed and ready. Rose made breakfast but did not eat any herself. She just sat at the table with her head in her hands while Josephine ate in silence.
"Mommy, I don't have to go. Please don't make me go," Josephine whispered pleadingly.
"Oh Josie, I wish it was that simple my lamb, but it is not fair. We will have no where to live, and the truth is that mommy can't really look after you anymore. You will go to a nice family who will give you anything you want and you will never have to worry about anything again. One day mommy will come back and get you when she's sorted her own life out and is back on her path."
Josephine burst into tears. "I. Don't. Want. To. Leave!" she sobbed.
A tear rolled down Rose's cheek which she tried to conceal. She had to be strong for the both of them. "Oh Jose, don't! Please be a good little girl. Just remember, mommy loves you more than anything and always will. Remember your daddy. He will be very proud if you be a good girl. He is always watching over you. And I'll always be in here," she put her hand on her daughter's heart. Why was she doing this?
~*~
Rose walked down the street, Josephine clutched close to her chest, the small suitcase grasped in her hand. She stood outside the gates of the children's home. This was it. No going back. It's for the best. It's for the best.
Inside was bare and there was quite a cold look about the place. Rose had to fill out some forms stating reasons for giving up her child and so on. She stated that she only wanted her daughter to be fostered as this was only temporary and she would be back to collect her once she had gotten her life in order.
"Mommy, please don't leave me here! Please!" Josephine sobbed.
"I have to. One day you will understand why. Now come and give mommy a big hug." Rose said trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Josephine did as she was told. A women who worked there came to take Josephine away, she stood in the background while Rose said her good byes. Rose pulled back from the hug to speak to her daughter, wiping away the tears that had fallen in the process. "Now, I want you to be a good little girl and go with the nice lady ok?" Josephine cried harder. "Be a good little girl and I promise, one day we will be together again and I will never forget about you."
"I-I won't forget either," Josephine sobbed.
Then the lady stepped forward and with a nod from Rose picked a by now screaming Josephine up and began to carry her away. "I love you!" Rose called from down the corridor.
"NO! No mommy no! don't leave me! No!" Josephine beat her small fists on the lady that was carrying her away form her mother.
Rose could hear her screaming as she disappeared around the corner of the corridor. All she wanted to do was run and comfort her. another women came and escorted Rose out of the building with a few reassuring words. "She'll be in good hands miss, she'll be in good hands. Don't worry."
She left Rose outside. She sat down on the steps and held her head in her hands and cried and cried and cried. That was the second hardest goodbye she had ever had make.
A/N *sob sob* Awwwwwww! I hope that that wasn't to sad, though I have to admit, reading it back through i have a lump in my throat!!! So, what's next for Rose? Well if you want to find out stay tuned for the next chapter!!