Title: Paraguay didn't solve anything - Part 2
***************************************
Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
0100 Zulu
Mac heard a click on the line and a sleepy voice mumbled on the other end. "This better be important, drongo. You don't want to see me spit the dummy."
"Mic!" she said. "It's Sarah."
There was a noticeable pause. Long enough for Mac to wonder if she had made a mistake. It was a spur of the moment decision to call her former fiancé. She was curled up on the couch of her apartment, in front of the fire with a mug of tea and the portable phone. Somehow, she had been thinking of Mic lately. It was this that compelled her to make the call.
Finally, a considerably more alert voice said, "Sarah?"
"Yes," she said. "Hi Mic, It's been a while. How are you?"
"Pinching myself to see if this is just another dream," he joked.
"Mic," she said in a warning voice. "I happen to know I'm not your dream anymore. Bud told me the good news. You're engaged!"
"Yeah, finally found someone to have me. She's a lawyer like you. Not military, though. A real spunk."
Mac smiled at that. "Finally found someone to have you? That's not how I remember it. If I recall, I was still willing to go through with our wedding. You left me remember, not the other way around."
"Should I have stayed and married you?" he asked.
"No," she admitted. "It took me a long time to acknowledge that but you were right. The situation was a mistake. You deserved better. Someone who would do better by you. You're a good man, Mic."
There was a pause. "Am I talking to Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie? From Falls Church? There seems to be a problem with this line."
"Mic?" she said.
"The Sarah I knew was a stunner who never put herself down. A simple swaggie from Oz was no match for her."
"Mic, you weren't just a swaggie from Oz. You were a kind, thoughtful gentleman who made me very happy for a period of time. I was the one who mucked it all up," she said.
He was slow to reply. "We both wanted different things, Sarah."
"Well, there's actually a reason why I called. I need your advice."
"Shoot," he said.
"I'm contemplating entering a serious relationship. And I want to do it right this time."
"You want to give it a fair go. You need for me to give the lucky bloke a few pointers, is that it?" he inquired.
"No," she laughed. It was good to talk to Mic again.
" So, did you finally have pity on Rabb, luv?"
"Nooo, It's not Harm. It's Clayton Webb," she said quietly.
"From the State Department? Isn't the man a bit of a figjam?"
Mac thought for a minute. What did he mean? Her Australian slang was a little rusty.
Mic supplied the translation. "Isn't he a little full of himself?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "Aren't all men?"
She could hear him chuckle. "Now I think you're making fun of me. How'd you hook up with him?"
"We went on an uncover mission to Paraguay. Events there just happened. And with it we both discovered we had feelings for one another," she summarized.
"And you want some advice about this burgeoning relationship, eh?"
"I figure you know me pretty well. Both the good and the bad, " she said.
"Well, the first thing I want to know is this. How's Rabb taking the news?"
"My relationship is with Clay, not Harm."
"As I recall, Rabb and I exchanged blows over you once. I still have a scar to prove it. I didn't think then and I don't think now that anything happens to Sarah Mackenzie without Rabb having an opinion. You two are more than just tight."
"Things are different now. JAG is different. And Harm and I finally came to terms with it. He could see why it would never work out. In Paraguay, actually. Paraguay solved everything."
"So what you are saying is that he's okay with you and Webb?" asked Mic.
She toyed with the idea of lying to Mic. But then finally she said, "No, he's not okay."
"Ahh," he said.
"I have a right to move on."
"Oh now, you got me feeling sorry for Clayton Webb," he said.
Mac felt the hackles on the back of her neck rise. "Look Mic, Harm wasn't the factor in our relationship that you made him out to be. And he won't be a factor in my relationship with Clay. He is just a friend. You made more of it than needed to be."
"The man loves you, Sarah," said Mic.
"Clay? Of course I know he loves me. I hear him say it every time we are together," she said angrily.
"Not Clay. Harm."
"You always thought that Harm loved me. I happened to know he doesn't." Mic was starting to piss her off. Her intention tonight was to talk about her relationship with Clay. All Mic wanted to do was to talk about Harm.
"Right," said Mic.
"Harm has nothing to do with this," she said.
Mic was slow to answer. "From where I sit, he has everything to do with this. He resigned his commission, and flew to Paraguay. Bud told me he saved both your lives."
"You know what happened in Paraguay? Bud told you?" She shook her head. Were there no secrets anymore?
"Yeah, you know Bud. He's a bloody good mate to both of us. I'll tell you what else he said. He said that the admiral refused to take Harm back at JAG. He's dropped out of sight and is working for the CIA."
"Well, almost. Chegwidden relented. He's back at JAG."
"So how does that leave you?" Mic asked.
"I'm glad he's back. JAG wasn't the same without him, I guess," she said. She sighed and wondered when they would get off the topic of Harm.
"You are relieved, I'll wager."
"Yeah, maybe I guess."
Mic persisted. "Now there's no need to feel guilty that you tanked his career. Everything's back to normal. You can keep an eye on him again."
"I don't want to keep an eye on Harm."
"Sure you do. Both of you. You keep an eye on one another," said Mic.
Mac was silent. Why was she fighting this? Mic knew the whole scenario better than most. He had lived with this for over a year. It would be hard to convince him he was wrong.
"Have you figured out why you are so mad at Harm about Paraguay?" asked Mic.
Mac was startled. Where did that question come from? She looked at the receiver in her hand. Finally she put it back to her ear and said. "Why would you think I'm mad at Harm about Paraguay? He saved my life. I'm grateful not mad."
"Yeah, funny isn't it? But you are mad at him," he said.
"I'm not mad at Harm," she said.
"Whatever you say, luv,"
"Why would you think that? Was it something Bud said? He's wrong then. Harm and I haven't argued once since his return," she said.
"Okay, that's it, I guess. Why would you be mad at him?" he agreed mildly.
"I'm not!" Her voice was getting petulant.
"So why did Rabb blow off his best mates and JAG for six months?" he asked.
Mac felt tears spring to her eyes. "You are not even Harm's friend. It seems a little disingenuous that you would care one way or another!"
"I feel sorry for the bloke, Sarah. Cause he loves you. And I'll be damned if I can figure out why you won't love him back. 'Cause I know you do. Love him, I mean."
The tears were now starting to come in force. She could feel them roll down her cheeks. "There is nothing between Harm and I. I've told you that before. Clay loves me. I have an obligation to love Clay back." Her voice was starting to get louder.
Mic was silent on the other end. She took a deep breath and tried to regulate her racing mind. Finally, she heard Mic say, "I'm sorry, Sarah. This isn't my place. I shouldn't comment on this."
Her anger started to dissipate. "No, no it's my fault. I asked for your advice, Mic. But you should remember something. This isn't our own ill-fated engagement we are talking about. This is two years later. If Harm and I had anything together then, we have both moved past it now."
"If you say so, Sarah."
"Yes, I say so! This time it will work with Clay!"
"Obligation. You said you had an obligation with Clay. Since when has love and obligation been interchangeable words?"
"Semantics, Mic! You know what I mean," she said.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, luv. Tell me more about Clay. From what I can remember, he was bit of a dandy and a knocker. But you like him, huh?"
"He's good looking, sophisticated, smart and he is good to me. I owe him a lot."
"Quitting a job and moving to the other side of the world isn't enough to base a relationship on," said Mic.
They were back discussing their own failed engagement "Did I ever thank you for that?" She wondered how many more of her mistakes Mic could dredge up.
"You did. No worries. I don't hold grudges. But case in point, make sure you love Clay for the right reasons, Sarah."
Before she could answer, she heard the sound of an alarm in the background.
"What's that?" she said.
"My wake-up call. Sarah, I'm going to have to cut this short. I due in early at work this morning. Can we pick this up again soon?" Mic said.
"Sure. Give my best to Kate. And send me photos of the wedding," she replied. She was disappointed the conversation was about to end. She had never gotten a real chance to talk about Clay.
"I will. And thanks for that," Mic paused and Mac could tell he still had one more thing to say. "Sarah?"
"Yeah?" she said.
"I have no regrets. About any of it. It was a wonderful couple of years," And with that he hung up. Mac stared at the silent phone in her hand and sighed.
***************************************
Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
0100 Zulu
Mac heard a click on the line and a sleepy voice mumbled on the other end. "This better be important, drongo. You don't want to see me spit the dummy."
"Mic!" she said. "It's Sarah."
There was a noticeable pause. Long enough for Mac to wonder if she had made a mistake. It was a spur of the moment decision to call her former fiancé. She was curled up on the couch of her apartment, in front of the fire with a mug of tea and the portable phone. Somehow, she had been thinking of Mic lately. It was this that compelled her to make the call.
Finally, a considerably more alert voice said, "Sarah?"
"Yes," she said. "Hi Mic, It's been a while. How are you?"
"Pinching myself to see if this is just another dream," he joked.
"Mic," she said in a warning voice. "I happen to know I'm not your dream anymore. Bud told me the good news. You're engaged!"
"Yeah, finally found someone to have me. She's a lawyer like you. Not military, though. A real spunk."
Mac smiled at that. "Finally found someone to have you? That's not how I remember it. If I recall, I was still willing to go through with our wedding. You left me remember, not the other way around."
"Should I have stayed and married you?" he asked.
"No," she admitted. "It took me a long time to acknowledge that but you were right. The situation was a mistake. You deserved better. Someone who would do better by you. You're a good man, Mic."
There was a pause. "Am I talking to Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie? From Falls Church? There seems to be a problem with this line."
"Mic?" she said.
"The Sarah I knew was a stunner who never put herself down. A simple swaggie from Oz was no match for her."
"Mic, you weren't just a swaggie from Oz. You were a kind, thoughtful gentleman who made me very happy for a period of time. I was the one who mucked it all up," she said.
He was slow to reply. "We both wanted different things, Sarah."
"Well, there's actually a reason why I called. I need your advice."
"Shoot," he said.
"I'm contemplating entering a serious relationship. And I want to do it right this time."
"You want to give it a fair go. You need for me to give the lucky bloke a few pointers, is that it?" he inquired.
"No," she laughed. It was good to talk to Mic again.
" So, did you finally have pity on Rabb, luv?"
"Nooo, It's not Harm. It's Clayton Webb," she said quietly.
"From the State Department? Isn't the man a bit of a figjam?"
Mac thought for a minute. What did he mean? Her Australian slang was a little rusty.
Mic supplied the translation. "Isn't he a little full of himself?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "Aren't all men?"
She could hear him chuckle. "Now I think you're making fun of me. How'd you hook up with him?"
"We went on an uncover mission to Paraguay. Events there just happened. And with it we both discovered we had feelings for one another," she summarized.
"And you want some advice about this burgeoning relationship, eh?"
"I figure you know me pretty well. Both the good and the bad, " she said.
"Well, the first thing I want to know is this. How's Rabb taking the news?"
"My relationship is with Clay, not Harm."
"As I recall, Rabb and I exchanged blows over you once. I still have a scar to prove it. I didn't think then and I don't think now that anything happens to Sarah Mackenzie without Rabb having an opinion. You two are more than just tight."
"Things are different now. JAG is different. And Harm and I finally came to terms with it. He could see why it would never work out. In Paraguay, actually. Paraguay solved everything."
"So what you are saying is that he's okay with you and Webb?" asked Mic.
She toyed with the idea of lying to Mic. But then finally she said, "No, he's not okay."
"Ahh," he said.
"I have a right to move on."
"Oh now, you got me feeling sorry for Clayton Webb," he said.
Mac felt the hackles on the back of her neck rise. "Look Mic, Harm wasn't the factor in our relationship that you made him out to be. And he won't be a factor in my relationship with Clay. He is just a friend. You made more of it than needed to be."
"The man loves you, Sarah," said Mic.
"Clay? Of course I know he loves me. I hear him say it every time we are together," she said angrily.
"Not Clay. Harm."
"You always thought that Harm loved me. I happened to know he doesn't." Mic was starting to piss her off. Her intention tonight was to talk about her relationship with Clay. All Mic wanted to do was to talk about Harm.
"Right," said Mic.
"Harm has nothing to do with this," she said.
Mic was slow to answer. "From where I sit, he has everything to do with this. He resigned his commission, and flew to Paraguay. Bud told me he saved both your lives."
"You know what happened in Paraguay? Bud told you?" She shook her head. Were there no secrets anymore?
"Yeah, you know Bud. He's a bloody good mate to both of us. I'll tell you what else he said. He said that the admiral refused to take Harm back at JAG. He's dropped out of sight and is working for the CIA."
"Well, almost. Chegwidden relented. He's back at JAG."
"So how does that leave you?" Mic asked.
"I'm glad he's back. JAG wasn't the same without him, I guess," she said. She sighed and wondered when they would get off the topic of Harm.
"You are relieved, I'll wager."
"Yeah, maybe I guess."
Mic persisted. "Now there's no need to feel guilty that you tanked his career. Everything's back to normal. You can keep an eye on him again."
"I don't want to keep an eye on Harm."
"Sure you do. Both of you. You keep an eye on one another," said Mic.
Mac was silent. Why was she fighting this? Mic knew the whole scenario better than most. He had lived with this for over a year. It would be hard to convince him he was wrong.
"Have you figured out why you are so mad at Harm about Paraguay?" asked Mic.
Mac was startled. Where did that question come from? She looked at the receiver in her hand. Finally she put it back to her ear and said. "Why would you think I'm mad at Harm about Paraguay? He saved my life. I'm grateful not mad."
"Yeah, funny isn't it? But you are mad at him," he said.
"I'm not mad at Harm," she said.
"Whatever you say, luv,"
"Why would you think that? Was it something Bud said? He's wrong then. Harm and I haven't argued once since his return," she said.
"Okay, that's it, I guess. Why would you be mad at him?" he agreed mildly.
"I'm not!" Her voice was getting petulant.
"So why did Rabb blow off his best mates and JAG for six months?" he asked.
Mac felt tears spring to her eyes. "You are not even Harm's friend. It seems a little disingenuous that you would care one way or another!"
"I feel sorry for the bloke, Sarah. Cause he loves you. And I'll be damned if I can figure out why you won't love him back. 'Cause I know you do. Love him, I mean."
The tears were now starting to come in force. She could feel them roll down her cheeks. "There is nothing between Harm and I. I've told you that before. Clay loves me. I have an obligation to love Clay back." Her voice was starting to get louder.
Mic was silent on the other end. She took a deep breath and tried to regulate her racing mind. Finally, she heard Mic say, "I'm sorry, Sarah. This isn't my place. I shouldn't comment on this."
Her anger started to dissipate. "No, no it's my fault. I asked for your advice, Mic. But you should remember something. This isn't our own ill-fated engagement we are talking about. This is two years later. If Harm and I had anything together then, we have both moved past it now."
"If you say so, Sarah."
"Yes, I say so! This time it will work with Clay!"
"Obligation. You said you had an obligation with Clay. Since when has love and obligation been interchangeable words?"
"Semantics, Mic! You know what I mean," she said.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, luv. Tell me more about Clay. From what I can remember, he was bit of a dandy and a knocker. But you like him, huh?"
"He's good looking, sophisticated, smart and he is good to me. I owe him a lot."
"Quitting a job and moving to the other side of the world isn't enough to base a relationship on," said Mic.
They were back discussing their own failed engagement "Did I ever thank you for that?" She wondered how many more of her mistakes Mic could dredge up.
"You did. No worries. I don't hold grudges. But case in point, make sure you love Clay for the right reasons, Sarah."
Before she could answer, she heard the sound of an alarm in the background.
"What's that?" she said.
"My wake-up call. Sarah, I'm going to have to cut this short. I due in early at work this morning. Can we pick this up again soon?" Mic said.
"Sure. Give my best to Kate. And send me photos of the wedding," she replied. She was disappointed the conversation was about to end. She had never gotten a real chance to talk about Clay.
"I will. And thanks for that," Mic paused and Mac could tell he still had one more thing to say. "Sarah?"
"Yeah?" she said.
"I have no regrets. About any of it. It was a wonderful couple of years," And with that he hung up. Mac stared at the silent phone in her hand and sighed.