Title: Paraguay didn't solve anything - Part 3
(Sorry for the short post)
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Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
0800 Zulu
Sarah Mackenzie was lying in the middle of her queen-sized bed staring at the ceiling. She wasn't even going to pretend to sleep anymore. What good would that do? She picked futilely at her sweat soaked pajamas and wished the super would fix the overactive heating system.
The conversation with Mic Brumby had thrown her for a loop. His attitude change towards Harm of all people, had been, to say the least, a little unexpected. Throughout their relationship, Mic had been mildly suspicious of Harm. She had attributed that to Harm's openly hostile treatment of Mic. Harm, a classic alpha dog, did not like the arrival in the office of Mic Brumby, another classic alpha dog. There was an open rivalry between them.
When she had dated Mic, Harm became worse. Harm had taken it as his due that all the females in the office should fall at his feet. The fact that she, Mac, had decided, to break protocol and run with another male dog had been a slap in the proverbial face. Harm was just like that. It didn't mean anything. That's why she largely ignored it.
But somehow, now Mic was claiming it was something different. He even said it. Harm loved her. Hah! If this was love, it sure manifested itself in funny ways.
Okay, okay. She was willing to concede there was something between herself and Harm. Why else had she refused to date anyone else for the last couple of years? Self-imposed celibacy wasn't all it was cracked up to be. To be sure, Harm hadn't dated anyone either but despite many dinners together, they just couldn't move their relationship forward. If it wasn't the isolation caused when they were opposing counsel, then it was one of them on the bench as judge. She had to admit, a relationship with another lawyer at JAG was fraught with obstacles.
Maybe a relationship with a spook would be different. Obviously, there wasn't as much chance for career conflict, although Admiral Laporte might disagree.
One thing was true. She was feeling the same sense of panic about her life that she did when Mic called the wedding off. If she didn't marry Mic, would she ever find some one to settle down and have a family with? Maybe Clay wasn't perfect, but he did want her and it wasn't hard to imagine a life with him.
Let's face it. She may never be able to resolve the issues that were between herself and Harm. And even Mic was moving on and getting married. She had better do the same.
Harm. Why did he do that stupid thing and resign his commission to come to Paraguay? Okay, Mic was right about one thing. She was mad at Harm about Paraguay. And it made no sense at all. He saved her life. And Clay's.
In complete Harm fashion, he had risked everything for her. And instead of gratitude, the one true emotion she felt was anger. Anger at Harm. It made no sense.
It had made plenty of sense in Paraguay. She chalked up all of their sniping to the irrational, illogical competition that she had with Harm over the years. They both wanted to be on top. But in retrospect, she knew that she was mistaken. Her anger at Harm in Paraguay was much deeper than that and from some other source she couldn't name.
When Harm had walked out of the Admiral's office last June, without so much as a fight for his job, his career and his life, she knew that it was tragically wrong to think that Paraguay had something to do with a misguided contest between them.
Funny, this sense of complete failure with Harm only served to increase her sense of panic about her personal life. If she didn't take what Clay was offering, then she would have no one
Settling? Is that what she was doing with Clay? She turned over onto her stomach on the bed, spread-eagled. She buried her face into the feather pillow. No! It wasn't settling. Clay had demonstrated so much in Paraguay. It had meant a lot to her. Surely, those same emotions would help them both get over whatever differences they had in personalities?
She flopped back over on her back and stared at the ceiling. "Harm," she said in the dark. "Help me."
(Sorry for the short post)
***************************************
Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment
0800 Zulu
Sarah Mackenzie was lying in the middle of her queen-sized bed staring at the ceiling. She wasn't even going to pretend to sleep anymore. What good would that do? She picked futilely at her sweat soaked pajamas and wished the super would fix the overactive heating system.
The conversation with Mic Brumby had thrown her for a loop. His attitude change towards Harm of all people, had been, to say the least, a little unexpected. Throughout their relationship, Mic had been mildly suspicious of Harm. She had attributed that to Harm's openly hostile treatment of Mic. Harm, a classic alpha dog, did not like the arrival in the office of Mic Brumby, another classic alpha dog. There was an open rivalry between them.
When she had dated Mic, Harm became worse. Harm had taken it as his due that all the females in the office should fall at his feet. The fact that she, Mac, had decided, to break protocol and run with another male dog had been a slap in the proverbial face. Harm was just like that. It didn't mean anything. That's why she largely ignored it.
But somehow, now Mic was claiming it was something different. He even said it. Harm loved her. Hah! If this was love, it sure manifested itself in funny ways.
Okay, okay. She was willing to concede there was something between herself and Harm. Why else had she refused to date anyone else for the last couple of years? Self-imposed celibacy wasn't all it was cracked up to be. To be sure, Harm hadn't dated anyone either but despite many dinners together, they just couldn't move their relationship forward. If it wasn't the isolation caused when they were opposing counsel, then it was one of them on the bench as judge. She had to admit, a relationship with another lawyer at JAG was fraught with obstacles.
Maybe a relationship with a spook would be different. Obviously, there wasn't as much chance for career conflict, although Admiral Laporte might disagree.
One thing was true. She was feeling the same sense of panic about her life that she did when Mic called the wedding off. If she didn't marry Mic, would she ever find some one to settle down and have a family with? Maybe Clay wasn't perfect, but he did want her and it wasn't hard to imagine a life with him.
Let's face it. She may never be able to resolve the issues that were between herself and Harm. And even Mic was moving on and getting married. She had better do the same.
Harm. Why did he do that stupid thing and resign his commission to come to Paraguay? Okay, Mic was right about one thing. She was mad at Harm about Paraguay. And it made no sense at all. He saved her life. And Clay's.
In complete Harm fashion, he had risked everything for her. And instead of gratitude, the one true emotion she felt was anger. Anger at Harm. It made no sense.
It had made plenty of sense in Paraguay. She chalked up all of their sniping to the irrational, illogical competition that she had with Harm over the years. They both wanted to be on top. But in retrospect, she knew that she was mistaken. Her anger at Harm in Paraguay was much deeper than that and from some other source she couldn't name.
When Harm had walked out of the Admiral's office last June, without so much as a fight for his job, his career and his life, she knew that it was tragically wrong to think that Paraguay had something to do with a misguided contest between them.
Funny, this sense of complete failure with Harm only served to increase her sense of panic about her personal life. If she didn't take what Clay was offering, then she would have no one
Settling? Is that what she was doing with Clay? She turned over onto her stomach on the bed, spread-eagled. She buried her face into the feather pillow. No! It wasn't settling. Clay had demonstrated so much in Paraguay. It had meant a lot to her. Surely, those same emotions would help them both get over whatever differences they had in personalities?
She flopped back over on her back and stared at the ceiling. "Harm," she said in the dark. "Help me."