This takes place a couple of days after "How Soon Is Now". If you missed any of the episodes dealing with Paige's rape, I have a copy of them under the story "Shout". It might be awhile before I get the next chapter out with exams coming up, but I will post ASAP.

Sorry about the formatting. It tends to get pretty screwed up when I upload. The scenes that are kind of detached from the others are flashbacks.

I don't own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any of the charaters. I don't really own the storyline either.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy it and I'd really appreciate some feedback.

"Paige?" Mr. Simpson asked as soon as I sat down in his class a few days later. "They want to see you in the guidance office."

"Am I in trouble?" she asked.

"I don't know. Ms. Sovet asked to see you."

I nervously exchanged glances with Ash. Even if he didn't know, I was almost positive that this meeting was about Dean.

And pressing charges.

And I wasn't sure that was the right thing to do anymore. I stood up and picked up my books. As I passed her, Ash put her hand out. I held it quickly, trying to feel her comfort, but let go when she saw how badly I was shaking.

"It'll be fine," she whispered to me.

"I hope you're right."

It wasn't far to the guidance office, but it took me forever to get there. I went in, and the secretary told me into go in to Ms. Sovet's office. I knocked on the open door.

"Paige, great," she said upon seeing me. I noticed a good-looking guy beside her in a police uniform. He didn't look old enough to be a cop.

"Close the door," she said. I did and sat down in the free chair. "This is Officer Collins." He stuck his hand out. I shook his, my hand trembling worse than before. It wasn't like me to be this nervous, and even less like me to show it.

"I've told him a bit about your case, and I've asked him to first go through the process of what's going to happen after you give your statement."

"Well, fir-" he began. I didn't need to hear it.

"I changed my mind," I said quickly. "I don't want to do this."

Ms. Sovet exchanged glanced with Officer Collins. "Paige. . ." she began. "What did you tell me when you said you wanted to press charges?"

I closed my eyes, then opened them again with tears brimming. "That I wanted to scare him."

"Why?"

I wiped a tear off my cheek. "So that he'd never think of doing this to any other girl." I looked up at the officer. He didn't seem like a bad guy. But I didn't know how to tell him about the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

"Why don't I take you through what's going to happen before you make a decision," he suggested.

"Officer Collins," I began.

"Call me Kevin."

"Okay. . . Kevin. I appreciate this, but I have no proof. No one saw him. There's no way I could ever beat him."

"I don't know that there's no proof. Right now, I don't know anything about what happened, except for what Ms. Sovet has told me."

"So. . . there's still a chance?"

"Absolutely."

I looked at Ms. Sovet. She nodded. "So what would happen if I did press charges?"

"Well, I would take your statement, interview any potential witnesses, see if there was anyone else who has ever been attacked by the same guy. The odds are that he's attacked more girls. If there's enough, the Crown attorney will get a warrant for his arrest."

"And then it's over?"

"Then, you'll have to testify at his trial."

"And then he goes to jail?" I had asked Ms. Sovet these same questions, but somehow, I thought that it would be different coming from him.

"If a jury convicts him."

"And if I didn't press charges?"

"He'd stay free."

"If I did. . . press charges. . . would I have to talk to him?"

"Never."

I looked at Ms. Sovet. She nodded and smiled. I looked at Kevin. He nodded.

"I'll do it."

Ms. Sovet smiled again and Kevin got some kind of message on his microphone/walking talkie thing that all polive officers have. He held it to his ear and said some kind of code. I noticed a wedding ring on his left hand.

"Traditionally, I'm supposed to have you parents here, but it's not to strictly enforced, so I'm going to give you the option. Do you want them here?"

I shook my head. My mom and I had been closer lately, but there was no way I could tell her what had happened.

"Can you tell me about what happened?"

I had no idea what to say. "What do you want to know?"

"Why don't you start with his name?"

"Dean. Dean Roberts."

"Does he go to this school?"

I shook my head. "He goes to Bardell."

"How do you know him?"

"Uh. . . we were playing against his school. I was. . ." I didn't know how to phrase that. "I talked to him after the game and he invited me to a party."

"And you went?"

I nodded.

"What happened when you got there?"

"I talked to him for awhile." I didn't want to continue talking. I didn't want him to ask about why I went into the room. I was a slut. It was as simple as that.

"Did you have anything to eat or drink?"

"I had something to drink."

"Did you get the drink?"

"No. He did."

"Did you feel different after it?"

"Different?"

"Did you feel dizzy, cold?"

"Not really. I only had a sip."

"When did you leave the party?"

I started pulling my ring off and pushing it back on nervously. "I saw someone that I didn't want to see at the party, so I suggested that we went somewhere quiet."

The entire night was flashing through my thoughts. I didn't want to remember it. Everything I said, everything I did. I had been through it so many times before, trying to find what I had done wrong.

"Dean, it's so loud out here. Wanna maybe go someplace a little more private?" I had asked him.

"After you." He took my hand and followed me through the crowd.

"You are so cute," he said as he caught up with me, then kissed me on the cheek. He smelled great. I giggled. "I think my friend's room should be quiet." he said softly and led me up and flight of stairs and opened a door.

"Where did you end up going?"

I snapped out of my daze. "His friend's room."

"What happened next?"

I turned on a light, but he turned it off again.

"I kinda like it dark," he told me with his arms around my waist.

"But I can't see anything." Between the lava light and the dim light from the window, I could barely see his face.

"Well, there's the bed, here's the door." He took my hand and led me to the bed. "And here's the party."

"Why are we whispering?"

"Because my friends are Neanderthals."

Why had I let him close the door? What hadn't I stopped him? Why hadn't something said 'Paige, you just et the guy, and he wants to be alone in a dark room with you, this isn't right'? Why had I blown Spinner off? Why had Dean been interested in the first place? Did I really look that easy? Had he been planing this from before I got there? Before I got in the room? Why had I even liked him in the first place? He was way too old for me! Why had this happened to me?

"Paige?" Ms Sovet asked gently. I snapped out again. This time, there were tears on my cheeks. I fisted them away.

"I. . . turned on the light, but he turned it off. Said, he liked it dark. He started kissing me. Told me that I was adorable. We got onto the bed, and he kissed me harder than before. He asked me if it was okay. I told him to take it slow."

"You are so adorable."

"I am?"

"Oh yeah. Come here." He layed me down on the bed. It seemed a bit fast to be on the bed already. "Is this okay?"

"No. I mean, yeah." He kissed me fully on the lips, deeper than before. I didn't feel quite right. "Just take it slow, okay?" He kissed me even harder, then trailed down to my neck. Harder, and harder. This wasn't right. I tensed up. "Dean, I said slow."

"He didn't take it slow though, did he?" Kevin asked. I had spaced out again, and he finally got me back.

"No," I whispered. "He started kissing me. . . harder than he had before. My lips. . . my neck. . . I told him to stop. I tried to push him off.

"Finally, he sat up, and I thought it was over. But when he sat up, I still couldn't get up. And he went into his pocket. . . and. . . he. . . pulled something out of his pocket."

"A condom?"

"Yeah."

"And then he raped you?"

"I started panicking when I saw the condom, and I tried to get up. . . but I couldn't he was too strong. I tried to get away. I wanted to get away, but he wouldn't let me. I said no. I said it over and over, but he didn't listen." I was getting hysterical, hyperventilating and crying.

"Wha-?What are you doing?" He held the square with his teeth, unzipped his pants and ripped the condom wrapper open. "I don't think so." I tried desperately to get up, but Dean pushed me back down. In the moonlight I could see his eyes. They were angry, evil.

I couldn't understand what was happening. All of a sudden, he lowered his body and started grunting.

"Dean, no, Dean. Stop." This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be doing this. "I said stop! Stop, please." I started to cry. "Dean, get off me. Stop, please, no."

"There's nothing you could have done," Kevin told me. "You had no control over what he did. This isn't your fault."

Ms. Sovet came close to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Take a deep breath," she advised. I did and felt a bit better. The tears finally stopped flowing.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked.

"I'm going to head over to Bardell and pick him up."

I looked up, excited. "You mean you can arrest him already?"

"Not yet, but I can talk to him."

"So what does that mean? He just stays out there, but he knows that I talked to the police? He can just come and see me again? He can hurt me!"

"I'll make sure that he doesn't hurt you. I promise. Other than the night he attacked you, has he had any contact with you?"

I nodded and blinked hard, trying to keep from crying again. "He came here for a game. He followed me around that day."

"Did he threaten you?"

"Spirit!" a voice called. I kept going. He ran up to me. He still thought it was all just a joke. "Hold up. So, what's in a day's plan. A little rah-rah cheering, or another serenade from your little girl band?" His smell. I was choking on his smell.

"This is my school, and I don't want to see or talk to you again." I turned around and went into the school, but he followed me.

"Lighten up. We had fun."

"Fun!?" I exclaimed, incredulous. "You think what you did to me was fun!?"

He turned to Hazel. "Night of the party, you were there. Tell me, who did Spirit come to see?" Hazel didn't say anything. "Right. Me."

"I said no."

"Everyone there saw a girl who wanted it. Bad. And she got it. Go shake your little pom-poms and look cute, Spirit." He started walking backwards and grinned. "I got a game."

"First thing in the morning, he started teasing me, said that we had fun. That everyone at the party saw a girl who wanted it bad and got it. I didn't want it. I said no. I really didn't want it."

"I know that. It's a tactic that a lot of rapists use. Try and make you feel like you're to blame. You're not."

"But he. . . everyone. . . they saw me. . ."

"That doesn't matter. You said no." I sniffed and nodded, even though I didn't believe it. "Did anything else happen?"

"He just kept popping up everywhere. He thought it was funny."

"Was there something that happened that afternoon?"

"I skipped the basketball game and one of my friends found me crying. I told him what had happened. He went in and got into a fight with Dean. Don't get me wrong, this guy is 5'2 and all of eighty pounds, and he couldn't do any real damage, but Dean got pretty rough with him when he called Dean "Mr. Rapist"."

"Was this incident one file?"

"I guess so. He got kicked out of the game."

"And have you seen him since?"

"When he left the game, another one of my friends hit him. Called him a couple of names. I stepped in and said that I was going to scare him. And now. . . here we are."