I'm sooooo sorry. I completly suck. I just did what I've critisized so many authors for doing. I left it hanging for way too long. I had exams, then I got really lazy, and then I got kicked off the computer. But I'm back now, and I promise that I'll write more often.

This chapter is kinda strange. I'd really appreciate some feedback on how you think this story's going. If there's something you like, or don't like, let me know. Or if you can tell me what AU and flames are. I'm still new at the whole fanfic thing.

Now, I bet if you think really, really hard, you can figure out what's coming next. Come on, I know you can do it. See, it wasn't that hard. You already knew that I don't own any of the characters.

"Hey, Paige, wait up!" Hazel called out the next day at school. "Paige!"

I reluctantly slowed down and waited for her to catch up. "What's wrong with you?" she asked, then didn't wait for an answer. "Did you hear about Terri- what happened to your arm?"

I glanced down where I had wrapped gauze around my wrist. "I. . . uh. . . I had an allergic reaction to my watch yesterday. Totally gross."

"Oh, okay, anyways, Terri said to-"

I stopped and turned around. "I don't care," I said plainly.

"What?" Hazel asked, stunned.

"I don't care about whatever gossip you're telling me thirdhand."

Hazel looked like I had slapped her. "What's going on with you lately, Paige? You're friends with Ashley again, you don't show up for Spirit Squad meetings. . . ever since Dean came here, you've been completely different. He's gone. Relax."

It was my turn to feel like I had been slapped. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into our first-period class. I didn't bother checking who was in there. "You want me to relax, forget about it? First he raped me, then he followed me around the other day, now he won't stop threatening me. He's not gone Hazel! He's with me all the time. I can't go to sleep without seeing his face. And then I have to deal with you being all high and mighty, thinking you know me! You have no idea what I've been through, and you will never understand unless something like that happens to you. So just shut up! I don't want to hear you justify to me why you act like you do. I don't care about gossip, I don't care about Spirit Squad, and I don't care that you think you understand what it's like to be raped!"

Hazel pursed her lips together, as if she was going to reply, but I could see the hurt look in her eyes. She turned around on her heels and stomped out of the room. I slid down against the nearest wall and put my head in my hands. How had everything gotten so out of control? I never, ever would have spoken to Hazel like that before. She could be a major flake, but she was still my best friend. And I just kept pushing her away. I had no one. As popular as I seemed, the realisation of that fact hit me like a ton of bricks. I could have had friends if I hadn't been a jerk to all of them and driven them away, and then just gotten in with a group of flakes with similar styles. I had Spinner. I had Ashley. That was it. And I needed someone more than ever.

I started sobbing, and I could hear footsteps coming over to me. I realized that I had never checked if anyone was in the class. It was to early. Who would be in class half an hour before class?

"Here," a male voice said, a hand outstretched, holding out a box of Kleenex. "You look like you could use some." I looked up and saw Mr. Simpson.

"Thanks," I mumbled, grabbing one a wiping my eyes. I couldn't help but notice the globs of make-up that had come off. Why did I do that to myself? "How much of that did you hear?"

He pulled out a chair from the nearest desk and sat down. "I'm guessing all of it."

"So you know?"

He nodded. "Have you talked to anyone?"

I nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Have you pressed charges?"

"Pressing charges don't mean anything."

"What do you mean?"

"He's called me and threatened me and e-mailed me since this happened." I couldn't believe that I was opening up to him, but I needed to talk to someone. Not Ms. Sovet- she didn't help anymore. I knew what she was going to say. But for some reason, I could talk to Mr. Simpson.

"And nothing's happened to him?"

I shrugged. "The police can't prove anything. And now I've just ruined things with my best friend."

"She'll get over it. When did this happen?"

"Couple of months ago."

"And you said he was stalking you?"

"He came here. . . to Degrassi for the basket-ball finals. He followed me around all day. I guess it wasn't really stalking." I looked at the people who were starting to head to their classes. "I should go get cleaned up before home room."

He nodded. I stood up and threw the Kleenex out. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"It's not my place to tell if you're getting counselling. I don't think you're going to hurt yourself, so I'm not obligated to by law."

As if on cue, my wrist started throbbing. "Thanks." He was right. It wasn't his place to tell. It also wasn't however heard us talking business. . .

At lunch, I didn't bother acknowledging the table I usually sit with. I just went and sat down beside Ashley. Ellie raised her eyebrows when I first sat down, but didn't say anything. I had never felt like such an outsider.

Ashley caught up with me in the washroom after school. "Hey," she said softly, putting her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and scrubbed my face, trying to get every trace of makeup off. "It's nothing."

"Paige. . ."

"I had a fight with Hazel this morning, that's all. . . and I got some e-mails from Dean last night."

"More than one?"

I nodded, hoping she wouldn't ask anything more.

"How many?"

"Twenty-seven," I mumbled. Her eyes grew wide. "It's not fair, Ash. He can do whatever he wants to me, but never gets in trouble for it, even when I have proof."

"Did you talk to officer Collins?"

"I sent them to him. He said that because he sent them from Bardell, it could have been someone pretending to be him."

"So he doesn't get in trouble for it?"

"Yep." I shrugged, pretending it wasn't affecting me as much as it was. "I'll see you tomorrow." I opened the door and heard voices outside the washroom. I stayed where I was and listened when I heard my name.

"Yeah, Paige is jealous. Can't blame her though." It was a girl's voice. I recognized it, but couldn't quite identify it.

"Let's not talk about Paige," a guys voice said. "What I wanted to talk to you about was a party this weekend. Do you wanna come?"

I felt like I was going to be sick. Dean was here. At Degrassi. How could he be here when he wasn't allowed to be. I closed the door and leaned against it for a minute, then opened my bag and pulled out my cell phone.

"Officer Collins," he answered in his usual way.

"He's here. Dean's here," I blurted out.

"Paige?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Where is he?"

"He's at school. You said he couldn't be here and he is."

"Where are you?"

"At school."

"Are you near him? Has he seen you?"

"I'm in the washroom. He's standing outside. He didn't see me."

"Is anyone with you?"

"Yeah." I looked at Ashley who was just watching me, concerned. She seemed to understand what was going on.

"Get however is with you to wait at the front. I'll meet them and they can bring me to where Dean is. I don't want to you talk to him, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly.

"I'll be there in a couple of minutes." Before I could respond, he hung up. I turned of my phone and just stood there, stunned that even Dean would break a restraining order. Didn't he know what they meant?

"Ash," I said softly. "Can you go wait at the front of the school?"

"Sure. But why?"

"Officer Collins is coming. He said to have someone waiting and to bring him here."

"I'll go, but will you be okay?"

"Yeah," I said softly. I closed my eyes and leaned against the sinks, and heard the soft thud of the door closing. I hit my head softly against the sinks. I needed to escape.

I opened my bag again and searched for my nail kit. I pulled my nail file with the sharpest edge out and lifted my pant leg. No one would see this time. I took a deep breath and drew the blade across my leg. I winced in pain, but I felt some sort of relief as the blood oozed out. I was fascinated by it. It was almost as if my pain was leaving, bleeding out of me. I pulled my pant leg down, put my nail file away and curled my legs into my chest. It hurt, and I felt guilty for doing it, but there was a strange comfort. It was like I finally had control over something, the only thing I had control over.

The door opened, and I saw Ashley coming towards me. "Officer Collins is here," she told me. I got up and stood by the door, keeping it slightly open. I could see Dean talking to Manny, who stood aside, stunned, when Officer Collins came towards him.

"Do you know what a restraining order means?" he asked Dean. Dean was a pretty big guy, but Officer Collins was almost five inches taller than him, making Dean walk backwards into the lockers. I had to smile at the sight of him frightened for once.

"Hey, you just said that I couldn't go near Paige." Even under pressure, he kept up his smart-ass attitude.

"Do you even comprehend what you're doing? This is breaking the law."

"Public place."

Manny turned to Dean. "I should go. Thanks for lunch" My eyes widened. I would have never believed that when a police officer was talking to anyone, Manny would mutter a word.

"You told me I couldn't go near Paige. How was I supposed to know that she would be here?"

"I warned you," Officer Collins continued, getting angrier. "You had knowledge that she would be in this school."

"I came to surprise my girlfriend. We just wanted to spend the afternoon together."

"Here."

"They don't hire cops for their brains, do they? Of course here."

"I'm going to say this once more. You stay away from Paige. You do not contact her under any circumstances. You don't call her or e-mail her. You do not stop by her school during school hours. You do not go near her house at any time. You better make damn sure that no one from your school has you e-mail password, because if an e-mail ever ends up sent to her with your name attached from you school account, I will charge you with it. Do you have any trouble understanding what I've said?"

Dean glared at him, but didn't say anything. His eyes were cold, angry, almost challenging him. Kevin pushed him into the lockers. From the sound of the bang, he pushed Dean hard.

"I asked you if you understood me."

"Yeah, I understand you."

"Good. Now come with me."

"For what?"

"You're under arrest."

"Are you on crack?! What the hell did I do?"

"Let's see, trespassing, breaking a court order, harassment, you know, we've got some time before I have to write up a report, I'm sure I could add to the list." He grabbed Dean by the arm and started leading him towards the main doors. I watched them walk out, and waited another minute, then exhaled deeply, realizing that I probably hadn't been breathing the whole time. Ashley and I stepped out of the washroom.

"Why don't you try that support group again," she suggested.

I shook my head. "I just want to go home."

"Do you want a ride?"

I just wanted time to myself. "No, it's okay. I'll just walk."

"Okay. Do you mind if I borrow your cell phone?"

"No, go ahead." I started rummaging through my bag.

"Paige," Officer Collins said, coming down the hall. "I wanted to catch you before you left."

"What's wrong?" I asked, forgetting the cell phone. Ashley started searching through it herself.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"Did he talk to you at all?"

"No."

"Did you get anymore phone calls or e-mails from him?"

"No phone calls. I haven't checked my e-mail."

"Good. I checked into it last night and we might be able to press charges for the e-mails."

"Really?"

"I have to- Paige, you're bleeding."

I looked down at my jeans where the blood had started soaking through. At the same time, I saw Ashley pull out the nail file, still covered in my blood.

"Paige," Officer Collins asked. "What's going on?"