Title: unrequited love. how cliché
Fandom: Harry Potter
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: R (to be safe)
Pairings: RL/SS
Warnings: Slash, OotP spoilers, maybe some angst, MWPP
Summary: Sevvie and Remus' developing relationship in 5th year will be hindered by many things, read and see if their relationship survives, and what happens when Voldy wants Severus to join him. Will he threaten Remus to ensure Severus' loyalty? Severus will be faced with a very difficult decision. Humans are flawed, and he chooses wrong, but maybe it will all turn out for the better? Merlin, I hope not.
Disclaimer: I own Harry potter, I sold it to JK for a mere fraction of what she's getting now with all that crappy merchandise. In case you didn't miss the sarcasm, here it is again. It's mine, all mine. Muahahahaha.ha. ha?
A/N: Hi, Pixie-chan here, my first Sevvie/Remus fic, as I prefer Siri/Remy when it's based in their years at Hogwarts. Anyways, it's not really AU, most of this stuff is possible, and some of it's even plausible. Review and bug me if anything's not believable, I need to learn.
My dragon muse uses flames to breed salamanders, (for no particular reason,) and my Severus muse uses flames to heat his cauldrons. So, flames are welcome, but must be articulate, and you must be complaining for a good reason. After you have read my warnings, 'slash is evil' ceases to become a good reason. As does 'because you suck,' and 'because you killed my cat.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'No man chooses evil because it is evil. He merely mistakes it for happiness.' -(No idea who said it, sorry!)
."Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right-" There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.
"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James turned as the hand gripped his wand arm. Remus stood beside him, his aura radiating power, despite his tired appearance.
"Put him down, James," he commanded. James stared at him in disbelief. Remus had never spoken to him this way.
"Why?" He asked incredulously. Remus answered him in a forcedly calm tone, but even James couldn't miss the venom in his voice.
"Because," he grated out, "I said so, let him down." James reluctantly lowered his wand, but couldn't resist giving it a sharp flick, sending Severus sprawling to the ground.
Remus frowned disapprovingly, but said nothing. He turned and walked towards the tree, not waiting to see if the others followed. They did, as he knew they would.
As they were walking back to get their books, James turned to Remus.
"Why did you stop me back there?" Remus' answer was honest, lacking the rage of before.
"Because, James, you've never known when to stop," he said simply. Sirius snorted, and Remus glared at him. "Neither have you, Padfoot." He murmured a healing charm, and the wound on James' cheek closed.
"Aw, moony," he whined. "You shoulda left it, chicks dig scars." Remus just shook his head, smiling.
~*~*~*~
Severus growled and scrambled to his feet, snarling at the few lingering students who'd remained behind to stare at him. He spat the last of the bubbles from his mouth viciously, and retrieved his wand.
Just who did Lupin think he was? Couldn't he see that Severus had things under control? Oh, who was he trying to kid? If Remus hadn't stepped in, he'd be in quite a predicament right now.
It really was his own fault though; he'd been unconsciously following Remus and had practically set himself up for it.
Remus probably hated him now, for calling Lily a mudblood. He hadn't meant it, but being saved by a girl was just about the only thing that could damage his reputation more than it already was. He couldn't stand the pity he saw in her eyes when she looked at him, the last thing he needed was pity.
Severus made his way to the dungeons, hoping that everyone was outside today, so he could be alone. Whatever deities Severus had prayed to hated him, evidently, for whom should he run into on the stairs but the whiny goth ghost herself. Myrtle.
Merlin help him. . . she floated over to him, smiling.
"I don't blame you, y'know." Stupid cryptic bitch.
"What?" she peered at him through thick glasses that emphasized her heavy eye makeup.
"Wanting to be in here rather than out there. They're all too happy. It's alright for them, they didn't flunk their OWLs like I did." He sighed,
"That was years ago. Look Myrtle, I really don't have time to-" her smile faded.
"No, of course not. Nobody has time for Myrtle, she's just a little freak. . . If you'll excuse me, I'm going to steal Greg's cutthroat razor and take a bath." With that, she turned and faded into a wall.
Severus resisted the urge to call after her 'you're already dead!' He shook his head. That girl needed some serious help.
He continued his descent into the dungeons, stopping as he reached the fifth torch in the third corridor. He walked five paces further, and then whispered the password, ("Salazar") before quietly slipping inside.
The common room was blissfully silent, and he sank into a chair by the fire to read.
There was always a fire burning in the Slytherin common room, as it would 'waste energy,' as their head of house said, to magically heat the whole place. Severus was inclined to agree, and besides, the fire was a nice touch, it stopped the common room from looking like a glorified prison cell.
A few minutes after he had begun to read, he put the book down, unable to concentrate. Why had he been following Lupin? Lately he had felt himself being drawn to him, and had no idea why.
Severus, you're a poor liar, he thought to himself. He knew why, he liked Remus, and who wouldn't? He was intelligent, calm, and fiercely loyal and his eyes. who could forget his beautiful, expressive golden eyes? Severus was being a sap, he knew it, but he couldn't help it.
Remus had looked tired today; perhaps the stress of exams had gotten to him. Severus longed to hold him, and tell him it was alright, but Remus would never let him, could never like him. Unrequited love. . . Severus thought bitterly. How cliché.
He was shaken from his reverie by Narcissa Black, as she strode inside, coming to a stop directly in front of his chair.
"You bastard." She said coldly, and slapped him, hard. He wondered what on earth he had done to provoke the cool-headed fourth year into such a rage. "How dare you disgrace Slytherin by allowing yourself to be bested by that muggle-lover and my good-for-nothing cousin?"
. . . Oh. That explained a lot.
"Narcissa. . ."
"You're so pathetic even that mudblood pitied you." He winced inwardly, but kept his outward appearance perfectly calm. He caught her wrist as she moved to slap him again.
"Narcissa dear," he said in a sickeningly sweet voice "I don't suggest you do that again, that is unless you wish to find a nasty little surprise in that imported coffee you like so much, at breakfast tomorrow." He released her hand and rose from his chair, smirking at her before heading down the stairs to the boy's dorms.
An hour or so later, Lucius Malfoy sauntered in. He approached Severus, his cold grey eyes alight with laughter, delighting in Severus' misfortune.
"We really enjoyed your little show this afternoon. . . I wouldn't be surprised if Alistair came around to have a word with you, he didn't look too happy when I saw him earlier." Severus groaned and flopped back onto his bed, running his hands through his hair.
"Fuck. . ." Alistair was Slytherin's Prefect. He was a tall and quite strong youth, with dark brown hair and dark eyes. He was usually fair and just, but when it came to matters of Slytherin pride, he tended to get a little violent. . .
"I would have put it a little more eloquently myself, but yes, he was there. Oh, and might I suggest you. . . " he paused a moment to inspect his perfectly manicured nails.
The door slammed open, and Alistair stalked into the room. ". . . run." Finished Lucius lazily. Bastard. He'd known all along that Alistair was coming.
"Get up." Snarled Alistair. Severus stood, backing away until his back was a mere foot from the wall. Alistair stood a few feet away, arms crossed. The rest of the Slytherin boys had filed in behind him, eager to see the conflict.
"Now Severus," Alistair began, "We put up with you because you are a good student, you work hard, make no trouble, have ambition, and pride in your house. . . " without warning, he slammed Severus back against the wall, holding his forearm against the struggling youth's throat.
". . .But when you go and do something like this, Slytherin loses respect. We don't like that, do we?" those around him shook their heads. "You can't expect us to fight your battles for you, hell, most of us won't even stick up for you most of the time. You need to learn that for yourself. That when you reach the real world, you can only rely on yourself."
Looking back on Alistair's words many years later, Severus would see this as the warning it was: 'don't trust Voldemort' but by then, it would be too late.
"You will not let us down again. Am I clear?" Severus gasped, choking out an answer.
"Transparently." Alistair released him and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath. Alistair regarded him coolly. "Good. There is, however, the small matter of your punishment." Severus stared at him in disbelief. "What? You expected to get out of this so easily? You were saved by a Gryffindor." He spat the word as if it were poison.
Some of the boys were whispering he word 'Shilow' (1) and soon, most of the room had taken up the chant.
"Shilow. Shilow. Shilow." Alistair nodded.
"Severus Snape, for twenty-four hours, you are proclaimed Shilow. You may not enter our common room, and certainly not the dorm, you may not eat at our table, you may not speak to any Slytherin and vice versa. If you break any of these rules make no mistake, you will be hunted. Now get out."
Severus gabbed his things and left, the jeers of his fellow Slytherins ringing in his ears.
He headed towards the library, which was just about the least populated place now that most of the OWLs were over. And, of course, it was Remus' favourite place.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily caught up with the Marauders a short while after their conflict with Snape.
"Remus, might I have a word please?" James glared at him resentfully, but Remus took no notice, and walked after Lily.
She led him to a tree within view of the whomping willow, reminding him that the full moon was near. They sat under the tree, and Lily leaned back against the trunk, running a hand through her shoulder-length hair and sighing.
"I have no idea how to phrase this," he smiled kindly at her,
"Go on, just spit it out, it can't be that bad surely. . . " Lily took a deep breath, deciding to take a roundabout approach.
"You, erm, swing both ways, right?" her face coloured. Remus nodded, curious as to where this was going. "It's just that I've noticed- I think- Snape has a crush on you." Lupin's eyes widened.
"You're serious?" Lily nodded. "Wow, that was. . . unexpected." He paused a moment to think. "He told you this?" She shook her head. "Then how do you know?" She smiled knowingly.
"We girls notice these things. I don't know if even he knows it himself, but he's been sort of following you around, staring at you, and every time you walk into the room he smiles."
In all the time that Remus had been at Hogwarts, he had never seen Severus smile. Never heard him laugh. . . what on earth had Remus done to have such a profound effect on him? Severus Snape could do a lot better than a ¾ blood werewolf.
Seeing the look of self-loathing on Remus' face, and mistaking it for disgust at the news he had just heard, Lily sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly.
"I'm sorry to have just sprung this on you like I did, but I thought you'd want to know." Remus nodded, looking down at his hands. "So. . . " said Lily softly, "What are you going to do?"
Remus stared vacantly at a patch of grass, as if it could give him the answers he was searching or.
"I don't know. I'll have to talk to him at some point I suppose, I'm just not sure if it should be now." He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "I don't even know if I like him or not. . . dammit! Why the hell can't my life ever be simple?"
Lily smiled, resting a hand gently on his shoulder before standing up.
"I'll leave you alone so you can think. If you ever need to talk I'm here, okay?" He nodded and she walked away, leaving him to his thoughts.
A few minutes later, he hadn't made a decision. All his trains of thought brought him back to the one main problem. 'Why me?' He looked up sharply, and ducked just in time to avoid being hit by a purple scumball (2) as it hit the tree a foot above the space where his head had been moments earlier. Deciding that the library would be a far safer place to think, he picked up his books and headed up to the castle.
Sirius caught up with him in the hallway. He smiled, puffing and slightly out of breath.
"Hey Moony, just ran up to Gryffindor tower to put everyone's books away, I swear, James is rigging that short straw thing. Anyway, we're gonna play Quidditch, fancy a game?"
Remus shook his head, trying to hide a smile. James had taught peter the spell to rig he short straws 'thing,' and so, when Sirius was watching james intently, sure that it was he who was doing it, peter was free to discreetly cast the spell.
"No thanks Padfoot, I have some reading to catch up on." Sirius shrugged.
"Alright, maybe another time then. Hey, did you hear the good news? The Slytherins have proclaimed Snivelly as shilow. Even they don't like him! It's funny, he can't even eat at Slytherin table." Remus forced a smile,
"Yeah, real funny Padfoot. . . hey, I have to go study." Sirius smiled and waved merrily.
"Okay, seeya later Moony." Remus sighed, and headed towards the library. He really shouldn't have been surprised about the shilow thing. It was probably a little harsh, he decided on further reflection, but these were Slytherins.
He entered the library and grabbed a random book- ('Animation spells- advanced theory')-and looked around for a seat. His gaze fell on one Severus Snape, who was sitting at a table in a remote corner of the library, writing something on a piece of parchment.
Now seemed as good a time as any for that talk. He walked up to Severus, who was engrossed in his writing.
"Hello, Severus," he began hesitantly. Severus looked up, but said nothing. "Is this seat taken?"
"No," came the blunt reply. There was no invitation for him to sit, but Remus took a seat anyway, and started to read. He closed the book a moment later, and looked over at Severus. He was still writing, and had not looked up.
"I'm sorry, you know." Severus paused in his writing,
"For what?"
"For letting Sirius and James treat you the way they do, for not stopping them sooner. . . " Severus scowled at him.
"Wow, does your conscience feel better now?" he asked bitterly. Remus was shocked. Sure, he didn't expect gratitude, or even an acceptance of his apology, but open hostility was the last thing he had expected. Then again, this was Severus.
"You think I'm only apologizing so I'll feel better? I'm really sorry for what they did to you. I had to stop them." Severus' face took on a look of mild shock, which then changed to one of bitter self-loathing, and blind fury.
"You have no loyalty to me," he spat, "you could have walked away, and nobody would have cared, most people expected it." Remus shook his head,
"I'm a prefect, I have a responsibility to the students to intervene. I did, and if I hadn't, you'd have eventually killed one-another. I know that 'sorry' isn't nearly enough to repair the damage, but it's all I have to give. That, and the promise that I'll kill James before I let him do something like that again, to you or anybody else. I should have stopped him." Severus snorted.
"You did stop him."
"It wasn't soon enough," Remus fretted.
"What's done is done. Drop it, will you?" They fell back into silence, Remus picked up the book again, and Severus resumed his writing. For several long minutes, the only sounds were the scratch of quill on parchment, and the occasional turning of a page.
Remus put down his book again.
"Hey Severus, can I ask you something?" Severus looked up from his parchment,
"You just did." He stated matter-of-factly. Remus winced at his own tactlessness.
"I mean can I ask you another question?" Severus sighed, putting down his quill and resting his chin in his hand.
"Since you seem to take some great deal of pleasure from distracting me from my writing, and I doubt that you'll leave me alone until you ask me, go ahead." Remus paused,
"What are you writing, anyway?" he asked, peering at the parchment, trying to read it upside-down, Severus pulled the parchment towards him, hiding it from Remus' view.
"Is that your question?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. . ."
"Then ask your damned question, and let me get back to my writing!" he snapped. Remus shook his head slightly,
"Never mind, I shouldn't have interrupted you. . ." Severus sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.
"No, you shouldn't have." He picked up his quill again, scribbling furiously on the parchment, as if trying to make up for the lost time wasted talking to Remus.
Remus took the hint. He let Severus work, silently watching him. When Severus slowed in his writing, Remus spoke again.
"Hey Severus, are you okay?"
"Mmm," he murmured, without lifting his eyes from his parchment. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I heard what they did to you. . . making you shilow. . ." Severus looked up then, gazing at Remus with cold eyes.
"Are you okay?" he countered, effectively changing the topic, "you don't look so well."
"Well. . . I. . . " Remus faltered. Severus' tone softened,
"Exam stress, huh?" Remus seized the excuse.
"Yeah, transfiguration tomorrow. . ." Severus sighed, and rose from his chair, moving to stand behind Remus. Remus craned his neck to try and see Severus, but was stopped by a hand resting gently on his shoulder.
"Here then." He placed both hands on Remus' shoulders, massaging gently. Remus jumped slightly, but then relaxed into the touch, allowing his head to fall forwards.
"Wow, where did you learn to do that?" Severus smirked, and shrugged, though Remus could not see the motion.
"You like?" Remus nodded, "how about this?" he shifted his hands, and Remus shivered, barely stifling a moan that threatened to escape his lips.
"Mmm, that's nice." He sighed inwardly, better to get this over with. "You like me." It was not a question. Severus froze, withdrawing his hands.
"I'll be going now." He said stiffly, and turned to leave. Remus grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing so.
"Please, stay, I- I want us to give this thing a chance." He moved his hand down Severus' arm to clasp his hand in Remus' own. "I want to know you." Severus snorted.
"Oh please, there's no way that any relationship between us would survive and you know it." Remus' face contorted into a scowl,
"You're so pessimistic!"
"No, I'm so /realistic./ you know what would happen." Remus' face fell, and he dropped Severus' hand.
"I'm sorry." He wasn't. Severus shook his head,
"For what? Just forget it." He turned to leave, but Remus would not allow it. He grabbed Severus by the shoulder and spun him around, kissing him forcefully. He growled, and tore at Severus' bottom lip with his teeth. Drawing back, he surveyed the damage he had done.
Severus' lips were bruised, his bottom lip was bleeding, and his hair was disheveled from where Remus' fingers had tangled themselves in it.
"Don't you /ever/ turn your back on me." Remus growled. Severus had a strange glint in his onyx eyes, almost. . . challenging. He smirked, and threaded his fingers through Remus' hair, leaning in to kiss him softly, very gently on the lips. Remus sighed softly, opening his mouth to Severus' gently probing tongue. After a few moments Severus pulled back, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.
If that was a challenge, he had definitely won.
"Alright," Severus whispered softly, "we'll give this a shot, on one condition. This remains a secret from the marauders, for a little while at least. I don't much care for two hexings in one day." Remus laughed,
"I'm not dense enough to tell them I'm dating their favourite Slytherin, they'd hex us /both/ into next week." Severus shuddered at the memory of that day's not so pleasant encounter with the business end of James' wand.
"Don't remind me." Remus winced,
"Sorry." Severus merely shrugged, then started to wander along the bookshelves, looking for a book. ". . .What are you looking for?" Severus paused in his search.
"I need something on healing potions." Remus wordlessly turned to the bookshelf, taking out his wand. He tapped the shelf three times, and whispered
"Healing potions." The books moved backwards on their shelves, all but six, which then moved forwards. Severus stared at him, his eyes wide in astonishment. "I'm sorry there's so few," began Remus, "I only called for the ones that contained healing potions and nothing else." Severus was stunned.
"I didn't know you could do that." Remus smiled guiltily,
"That's because we're not meant to. I was given permission, on the condition that I return the shelves to the way they were before." Severus chose four of the books and returned to his table. At Remus' inquisitive look, he sighed and put down the book he had opened.
"I'm doing some theory work on healing potions, because it wasn't covered too well in class."
"Ah, okay. I might leave you to it then. I'll see you later." Severus nodded distractedly, already engrossed in the book again. "Oh, and Severus?" Severus looked up from his book once again,
"Yes?"
"Do you have some place to stay tonight? I could steal James' invisibility cloak, and you could-" Severus cut him off,
"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to get you into trouble, it'll be worse since you're a prefect. I can take care of myself." Remus nodded and made to leave, pausing and turning as if to say something, but then thinking better of it, he left the library.
~*~*~*~*~*~
That night, Severus didn't sleep. He wandered the corridors aimlessly, jumping nervously at the tiniest sound, as if James or Sirius were about to jump out from behind a corner and hex him. He narrowly avoided being caught more than once, slinking into the shadows, and blending in so well that the patrolling teachers didn't see him.
The next morning, a tired and pissed off Severus Snape entered the great hall for breakfast with everyone else, ignoring the stares and whispers. He chose a spot on the floor near the Slytherin table and sat down, leaning against the wall and looking every bit as though this was what he did every morning.
A plate appeared in front of him, and a faint smile danced on his lips, replacing the scowl that usually resided there, as he looked over at Remus. /Damned house elves./ he thought, chuckling to himself. He told the plate what he wanted to eat, and the food appeared.
He watched the Slytherins at their table, Narcissa made to take a sip of her coffee, but then reconsidered, and surreptitiously swapped her cup with Rosemary Hallow's. smirking triumphantly in Severus' direction, should he have cared to take notice, she took a sip.
The reaction was instantaneous.
Her once bleached-blonde hair turned a violent shade of purple, and her nails grew a good six inches, then turned acid green, to match the stripes appearing on her face. She screamed, and buried her face in her hands.
"Oh Narcissa dear," Severus called over to her in a cheery tone, "Did I forget to mention that Rosemary had a little tiff with James Potter yesterday? Said something about his mother, it wasn't pretty. He swore vengeance, and, well, see for yourself."
Lucius turned to him, smiling. It was not a nice smile, it promised many different painful ways to die.
Severus clapped his hands over his mouth, his eyes widened, shilow! He'd forgotten! He bolted, abandoning his plate, the Slytherins chasing after him. Rosemary helped Narcissa to her feet, and they headed towards the hospital wing.
~*~*~*~*~*~
'Shilow,' a made-up word on my part, used in many of my fics (though none of the ones posted here yet) it's parseltongue, and it means, as accurately as I can translate it, 'exiled, unclean.' The snakes use it to refer to vampires, because of their history. It'll be explained in another fic I'm doing, so whatever. Slytherin house now temporarily exiles those they deem unworthy of being in Slytherin. Scumballs come in many colours. You stand in a circle and throw it from one person to another. Eventually, it will explode and spray a foul-smelling substance over the unfortunate that is holding it at the time. That person is then out. There will be a smaller, different coloured scumball inside that one, (like babushka dolls, only with goo!) and the game continues. The last scumball, and the smallest, holds a prize, as opposed to foul goo. This can be anything from a cheering charm to a wizarding fortune cookie, or even a chocolate frog. Sirius Black once found filibuster's famous wet- start fireworks in his, and got the bright idea of setting them off under Peter Pettigrew's bed at 3 in the morning.
A/N: alrighty, that's possibly the longest chapter I've ever written. Be ever so proud of me. It's only 9:18, but I have exams tomorrow, and haven't studied a single bit. Review and I might not bite you. I don't know though, I /am/ kinda hungry.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: R (to be safe)
Pairings: RL/SS
Warnings: Slash, OotP spoilers, maybe some angst, MWPP
Summary: Sevvie and Remus' developing relationship in 5th year will be hindered by many things, read and see if their relationship survives, and what happens when Voldy wants Severus to join him. Will he threaten Remus to ensure Severus' loyalty? Severus will be faced with a very difficult decision. Humans are flawed, and he chooses wrong, but maybe it will all turn out for the better? Merlin, I hope not.
Disclaimer: I own Harry potter, I sold it to JK for a mere fraction of what she's getting now with all that crappy merchandise. In case you didn't miss the sarcasm, here it is again. It's mine, all mine. Muahahahaha.ha. ha?
A/N: Hi, Pixie-chan here, my first Sevvie/Remus fic, as I prefer Siri/Remy when it's based in their years at Hogwarts. Anyways, it's not really AU, most of this stuff is possible, and some of it's even plausible. Review and bug me if anything's not believable, I need to learn.
My dragon muse uses flames to breed salamanders, (for no particular reason,) and my Severus muse uses flames to heat his cauldrons. So, flames are welcome, but must be articulate, and you must be complaining for a good reason. After you have read my warnings, 'slash is evil' ceases to become a good reason. As does 'because you suck,' and 'because you killed my cat.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
'No man chooses evil because it is evil. He merely mistakes it for happiness.' -(No idea who said it, sorry!)
."Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right-" There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.
"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James turned as the hand gripped his wand arm. Remus stood beside him, his aura radiating power, despite his tired appearance.
"Put him down, James," he commanded. James stared at him in disbelief. Remus had never spoken to him this way.
"Why?" He asked incredulously. Remus answered him in a forcedly calm tone, but even James couldn't miss the venom in his voice.
"Because," he grated out, "I said so, let him down." James reluctantly lowered his wand, but couldn't resist giving it a sharp flick, sending Severus sprawling to the ground.
Remus frowned disapprovingly, but said nothing. He turned and walked towards the tree, not waiting to see if the others followed. They did, as he knew they would.
As they were walking back to get their books, James turned to Remus.
"Why did you stop me back there?" Remus' answer was honest, lacking the rage of before.
"Because, James, you've never known when to stop," he said simply. Sirius snorted, and Remus glared at him. "Neither have you, Padfoot." He murmured a healing charm, and the wound on James' cheek closed.
"Aw, moony," he whined. "You shoulda left it, chicks dig scars." Remus just shook his head, smiling.
~*~*~*~
Severus growled and scrambled to his feet, snarling at the few lingering students who'd remained behind to stare at him. He spat the last of the bubbles from his mouth viciously, and retrieved his wand.
Just who did Lupin think he was? Couldn't he see that Severus had things under control? Oh, who was he trying to kid? If Remus hadn't stepped in, he'd be in quite a predicament right now.
It really was his own fault though; he'd been unconsciously following Remus and had practically set himself up for it.
Remus probably hated him now, for calling Lily a mudblood. He hadn't meant it, but being saved by a girl was just about the only thing that could damage his reputation more than it already was. He couldn't stand the pity he saw in her eyes when she looked at him, the last thing he needed was pity.
Severus made his way to the dungeons, hoping that everyone was outside today, so he could be alone. Whatever deities Severus had prayed to hated him, evidently, for whom should he run into on the stairs but the whiny goth ghost herself. Myrtle.
Merlin help him. . . she floated over to him, smiling.
"I don't blame you, y'know." Stupid cryptic bitch.
"What?" she peered at him through thick glasses that emphasized her heavy eye makeup.
"Wanting to be in here rather than out there. They're all too happy. It's alright for them, they didn't flunk their OWLs like I did." He sighed,
"That was years ago. Look Myrtle, I really don't have time to-" her smile faded.
"No, of course not. Nobody has time for Myrtle, she's just a little freak. . . If you'll excuse me, I'm going to steal Greg's cutthroat razor and take a bath." With that, she turned and faded into a wall.
Severus resisted the urge to call after her 'you're already dead!' He shook his head. That girl needed some serious help.
He continued his descent into the dungeons, stopping as he reached the fifth torch in the third corridor. He walked five paces further, and then whispered the password, ("Salazar") before quietly slipping inside.
The common room was blissfully silent, and he sank into a chair by the fire to read.
There was always a fire burning in the Slytherin common room, as it would 'waste energy,' as their head of house said, to magically heat the whole place. Severus was inclined to agree, and besides, the fire was a nice touch, it stopped the common room from looking like a glorified prison cell.
A few minutes after he had begun to read, he put the book down, unable to concentrate. Why had he been following Lupin? Lately he had felt himself being drawn to him, and had no idea why.
Severus, you're a poor liar, he thought to himself. He knew why, he liked Remus, and who wouldn't? He was intelligent, calm, and fiercely loyal and his eyes. who could forget his beautiful, expressive golden eyes? Severus was being a sap, he knew it, but he couldn't help it.
Remus had looked tired today; perhaps the stress of exams had gotten to him. Severus longed to hold him, and tell him it was alright, but Remus would never let him, could never like him. Unrequited love. . . Severus thought bitterly. How cliché.
He was shaken from his reverie by Narcissa Black, as she strode inside, coming to a stop directly in front of his chair.
"You bastard." She said coldly, and slapped him, hard. He wondered what on earth he had done to provoke the cool-headed fourth year into such a rage. "How dare you disgrace Slytherin by allowing yourself to be bested by that muggle-lover and my good-for-nothing cousin?"
. . . Oh. That explained a lot.
"Narcissa. . ."
"You're so pathetic even that mudblood pitied you." He winced inwardly, but kept his outward appearance perfectly calm. He caught her wrist as she moved to slap him again.
"Narcissa dear," he said in a sickeningly sweet voice "I don't suggest you do that again, that is unless you wish to find a nasty little surprise in that imported coffee you like so much, at breakfast tomorrow." He released her hand and rose from his chair, smirking at her before heading down the stairs to the boy's dorms.
An hour or so later, Lucius Malfoy sauntered in. He approached Severus, his cold grey eyes alight with laughter, delighting in Severus' misfortune.
"We really enjoyed your little show this afternoon. . . I wouldn't be surprised if Alistair came around to have a word with you, he didn't look too happy when I saw him earlier." Severus groaned and flopped back onto his bed, running his hands through his hair.
"Fuck. . ." Alistair was Slytherin's Prefect. He was a tall and quite strong youth, with dark brown hair and dark eyes. He was usually fair and just, but when it came to matters of Slytherin pride, he tended to get a little violent. . .
"I would have put it a little more eloquently myself, but yes, he was there. Oh, and might I suggest you. . . " he paused a moment to inspect his perfectly manicured nails.
The door slammed open, and Alistair stalked into the room. ". . . run." Finished Lucius lazily. Bastard. He'd known all along that Alistair was coming.
"Get up." Snarled Alistair. Severus stood, backing away until his back was a mere foot from the wall. Alistair stood a few feet away, arms crossed. The rest of the Slytherin boys had filed in behind him, eager to see the conflict.
"Now Severus," Alistair began, "We put up with you because you are a good student, you work hard, make no trouble, have ambition, and pride in your house. . . " without warning, he slammed Severus back against the wall, holding his forearm against the struggling youth's throat.
". . .But when you go and do something like this, Slytherin loses respect. We don't like that, do we?" those around him shook their heads. "You can't expect us to fight your battles for you, hell, most of us won't even stick up for you most of the time. You need to learn that for yourself. That when you reach the real world, you can only rely on yourself."
Looking back on Alistair's words many years later, Severus would see this as the warning it was: 'don't trust Voldemort' but by then, it would be too late.
"You will not let us down again. Am I clear?" Severus gasped, choking out an answer.
"Transparently." Alistair released him and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath. Alistair regarded him coolly. "Good. There is, however, the small matter of your punishment." Severus stared at him in disbelief. "What? You expected to get out of this so easily? You were saved by a Gryffindor." He spat the word as if it were poison.
Some of the boys were whispering he word 'Shilow' (1) and soon, most of the room had taken up the chant.
"Shilow. Shilow. Shilow." Alistair nodded.
"Severus Snape, for twenty-four hours, you are proclaimed Shilow. You may not enter our common room, and certainly not the dorm, you may not eat at our table, you may not speak to any Slytherin and vice versa. If you break any of these rules make no mistake, you will be hunted. Now get out."
Severus gabbed his things and left, the jeers of his fellow Slytherins ringing in his ears.
He headed towards the library, which was just about the least populated place now that most of the OWLs were over. And, of course, it was Remus' favourite place.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily caught up with the Marauders a short while after their conflict with Snape.
"Remus, might I have a word please?" James glared at him resentfully, but Remus took no notice, and walked after Lily.
She led him to a tree within view of the whomping willow, reminding him that the full moon was near. They sat under the tree, and Lily leaned back against the trunk, running a hand through her shoulder-length hair and sighing.
"I have no idea how to phrase this," he smiled kindly at her,
"Go on, just spit it out, it can't be that bad surely. . . " Lily took a deep breath, deciding to take a roundabout approach.
"You, erm, swing both ways, right?" her face coloured. Remus nodded, curious as to where this was going. "It's just that I've noticed- I think- Snape has a crush on you." Lupin's eyes widened.
"You're serious?" Lily nodded. "Wow, that was. . . unexpected." He paused a moment to think. "He told you this?" She shook her head. "Then how do you know?" She smiled knowingly.
"We girls notice these things. I don't know if even he knows it himself, but he's been sort of following you around, staring at you, and every time you walk into the room he smiles."
In all the time that Remus had been at Hogwarts, he had never seen Severus smile. Never heard him laugh. . . what on earth had Remus done to have such a profound effect on him? Severus Snape could do a lot better than a ¾ blood werewolf.
Seeing the look of self-loathing on Remus' face, and mistaking it for disgust at the news he had just heard, Lily sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly.
"I'm sorry to have just sprung this on you like I did, but I thought you'd want to know." Remus nodded, looking down at his hands. "So. . . " said Lily softly, "What are you going to do?"
Remus stared vacantly at a patch of grass, as if it could give him the answers he was searching or.
"I don't know. I'll have to talk to him at some point I suppose, I'm just not sure if it should be now." He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "I don't even know if I like him or not. . . dammit! Why the hell can't my life ever be simple?"
Lily smiled, resting a hand gently on his shoulder before standing up.
"I'll leave you alone so you can think. If you ever need to talk I'm here, okay?" He nodded and she walked away, leaving him to his thoughts.
A few minutes later, he hadn't made a decision. All his trains of thought brought him back to the one main problem. 'Why me?' He looked up sharply, and ducked just in time to avoid being hit by a purple scumball (2) as it hit the tree a foot above the space where his head had been moments earlier. Deciding that the library would be a far safer place to think, he picked up his books and headed up to the castle.
Sirius caught up with him in the hallway. He smiled, puffing and slightly out of breath.
"Hey Moony, just ran up to Gryffindor tower to put everyone's books away, I swear, James is rigging that short straw thing. Anyway, we're gonna play Quidditch, fancy a game?"
Remus shook his head, trying to hide a smile. James had taught peter the spell to rig he short straws 'thing,' and so, when Sirius was watching james intently, sure that it was he who was doing it, peter was free to discreetly cast the spell.
"No thanks Padfoot, I have some reading to catch up on." Sirius shrugged.
"Alright, maybe another time then. Hey, did you hear the good news? The Slytherins have proclaimed Snivelly as shilow. Even they don't like him! It's funny, he can't even eat at Slytherin table." Remus forced a smile,
"Yeah, real funny Padfoot. . . hey, I have to go study." Sirius smiled and waved merrily.
"Okay, seeya later Moony." Remus sighed, and headed towards the library. He really shouldn't have been surprised about the shilow thing. It was probably a little harsh, he decided on further reflection, but these were Slytherins.
He entered the library and grabbed a random book- ('Animation spells- advanced theory')-and looked around for a seat. His gaze fell on one Severus Snape, who was sitting at a table in a remote corner of the library, writing something on a piece of parchment.
Now seemed as good a time as any for that talk. He walked up to Severus, who was engrossed in his writing.
"Hello, Severus," he began hesitantly. Severus looked up, but said nothing. "Is this seat taken?"
"No," came the blunt reply. There was no invitation for him to sit, but Remus took a seat anyway, and started to read. He closed the book a moment later, and looked over at Severus. He was still writing, and had not looked up.
"I'm sorry, you know." Severus paused in his writing,
"For what?"
"For letting Sirius and James treat you the way they do, for not stopping them sooner. . . " Severus scowled at him.
"Wow, does your conscience feel better now?" he asked bitterly. Remus was shocked. Sure, he didn't expect gratitude, or even an acceptance of his apology, but open hostility was the last thing he had expected. Then again, this was Severus.
"You think I'm only apologizing so I'll feel better? I'm really sorry for what they did to you. I had to stop them." Severus' face took on a look of mild shock, which then changed to one of bitter self-loathing, and blind fury.
"You have no loyalty to me," he spat, "you could have walked away, and nobody would have cared, most people expected it." Remus shook his head,
"I'm a prefect, I have a responsibility to the students to intervene. I did, and if I hadn't, you'd have eventually killed one-another. I know that 'sorry' isn't nearly enough to repair the damage, but it's all I have to give. That, and the promise that I'll kill James before I let him do something like that again, to you or anybody else. I should have stopped him." Severus snorted.
"You did stop him."
"It wasn't soon enough," Remus fretted.
"What's done is done. Drop it, will you?" They fell back into silence, Remus picked up the book again, and Severus resumed his writing. For several long minutes, the only sounds were the scratch of quill on parchment, and the occasional turning of a page.
Remus put down his book again.
"Hey Severus, can I ask you something?" Severus looked up from his parchment,
"You just did." He stated matter-of-factly. Remus winced at his own tactlessness.
"I mean can I ask you another question?" Severus sighed, putting down his quill and resting his chin in his hand.
"Since you seem to take some great deal of pleasure from distracting me from my writing, and I doubt that you'll leave me alone until you ask me, go ahead." Remus paused,
"What are you writing, anyway?" he asked, peering at the parchment, trying to read it upside-down, Severus pulled the parchment towards him, hiding it from Remus' view.
"Is that your question?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. . ."
"Then ask your damned question, and let me get back to my writing!" he snapped. Remus shook his head slightly,
"Never mind, I shouldn't have interrupted you. . ." Severus sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.
"No, you shouldn't have." He picked up his quill again, scribbling furiously on the parchment, as if trying to make up for the lost time wasted talking to Remus.
Remus took the hint. He let Severus work, silently watching him. When Severus slowed in his writing, Remus spoke again.
"Hey Severus, are you okay?"
"Mmm," he murmured, without lifting his eyes from his parchment. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I heard what they did to you. . . making you shilow. . ." Severus looked up then, gazing at Remus with cold eyes.
"Are you okay?" he countered, effectively changing the topic, "you don't look so well."
"Well. . . I. . . " Remus faltered. Severus' tone softened,
"Exam stress, huh?" Remus seized the excuse.
"Yeah, transfiguration tomorrow. . ." Severus sighed, and rose from his chair, moving to stand behind Remus. Remus craned his neck to try and see Severus, but was stopped by a hand resting gently on his shoulder.
"Here then." He placed both hands on Remus' shoulders, massaging gently. Remus jumped slightly, but then relaxed into the touch, allowing his head to fall forwards.
"Wow, where did you learn to do that?" Severus smirked, and shrugged, though Remus could not see the motion.
"You like?" Remus nodded, "how about this?" he shifted his hands, and Remus shivered, barely stifling a moan that threatened to escape his lips.
"Mmm, that's nice." He sighed inwardly, better to get this over with. "You like me." It was not a question. Severus froze, withdrawing his hands.
"I'll be going now." He said stiffly, and turned to leave. Remus grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing so.
"Please, stay, I- I want us to give this thing a chance." He moved his hand down Severus' arm to clasp his hand in Remus' own. "I want to know you." Severus snorted.
"Oh please, there's no way that any relationship between us would survive and you know it." Remus' face contorted into a scowl,
"You're so pessimistic!"
"No, I'm so /realistic./ you know what would happen." Remus' face fell, and he dropped Severus' hand.
"I'm sorry." He wasn't. Severus shook his head,
"For what? Just forget it." He turned to leave, but Remus would not allow it. He grabbed Severus by the shoulder and spun him around, kissing him forcefully. He growled, and tore at Severus' bottom lip with his teeth. Drawing back, he surveyed the damage he had done.
Severus' lips were bruised, his bottom lip was bleeding, and his hair was disheveled from where Remus' fingers had tangled themselves in it.
"Don't you /ever/ turn your back on me." Remus growled. Severus had a strange glint in his onyx eyes, almost. . . challenging. He smirked, and threaded his fingers through Remus' hair, leaning in to kiss him softly, very gently on the lips. Remus sighed softly, opening his mouth to Severus' gently probing tongue. After a few moments Severus pulled back, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.
If that was a challenge, he had definitely won.
"Alright," Severus whispered softly, "we'll give this a shot, on one condition. This remains a secret from the marauders, for a little while at least. I don't much care for two hexings in one day." Remus laughed,
"I'm not dense enough to tell them I'm dating their favourite Slytherin, they'd hex us /both/ into next week." Severus shuddered at the memory of that day's not so pleasant encounter with the business end of James' wand.
"Don't remind me." Remus winced,
"Sorry." Severus merely shrugged, then started to wander along the bookshelves, looking for a book. ". . .What are you looking for?" Severus paused in his search.
"I need something on healing potions." Remus wordlessly turned to the bookshelf, taking out his wand. He tapped the shelf three times, and whispered
"Healing potions." The books moved backwards on their shelves, all but six, which then moved forwards. Severus stared at him, his eyes wide in astonishment. "I'm sorry there's so few," began Remus, "I only called for the ones that contained healing potions and nothing else." Severus was stunned.
"I didn't know you could do that." Remus smiled guiltily,
"That's because we're not meant to. I was given permission, on the condition that I return the shelves to the way they were before." Severus chose four of the books and returned to his table. At Remus' inquisitive look, he sighed and put down the book he had opened.
"I'm doing some theory work on healing potions, because it wasn't covered too well in class."
"Ah, okay. I might leave you to it then. I'll see you later." Severus nodded distractedly, already engrossed in the book again. "Oh, and Severus?" Severus looked up from his book once again,
"Yes?"
"Do you have some place to stay tonight? I could steal James' invisibility cloak, and you could-" Severus cut him off,
"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to get you into trouble, it'll be worse since you're a prefect. I can take care of myself." Remus nodded and made to leave, pausing and turning as if to say something, but then thinking better of it, he left the library.
~*~*~*~*~*~
That night, Severus didn't sleep. He wandered the corridors aimlessly, jumping nervously at the tiniest sound, as if James or Sirius were about to jump out from behind a corner and hex him. He narrowly avoided being caught more than once, slinking into the shadows, and blending in so well that the patrolling teachers didn't see him.
The next morning, a tired and pissed off Severus Snape entered the great hall for breakfast with everyone else, ignoring the stares and whispers. He chose a spot on the floor near the Slytherin table and sat down, leaning against the wall and looking every bit as though this was what he did every morning.
A plate appeared in front of him, and a faint smile danced on his lips, replacing the scowl that usually resided there, as he looked over at Remus. /Damned house elves./ he thought, chuckling to himself. He told the plate what he wanted to eat, and the food appeared.
He watched the Slytherins at their table, Narcissa made to take a sip of her coffee, but then reconsidered, and surreptitiously swapped her cup with Rosemary Hallow's. smirking triumphantly in Severus' direction, should he have cared to take notice, she took a sip.
The reaction was instantaneous.
Her once bleached-blonde hair turned a violent shade of purple, and her nails grew a good six inches, then turned acid green, to match the stripes appearing on her face. She screamed, and buried her face in her hands.
"Oh Narcissa dear," Severus called over to her in a cheery tone, "Did I forget to mention that Rosemary had a little tiff with James Potter yesterday? Said something about his mother, it wasn't pretty. He swore vengeance, and, well, see for yourself."
Lucius turned to him, smiling. It was not a nice smile, it promised many different painful ways to die.
Severus clapped his hands over his mouth, his eyes widened, shilow! He'd forgotten! He bolted, abandoning his plate, the Slytherins chasing after him. Rosemary helped Narcissa to her feet, and they headed towards the hospital wing.
~*~*~*~*~*~
'Shilow,' a made-up word on my part, used in many of my fics (though none of the ones posted here yet) it's parseltongue, and it means, as accurately as I can translate it, 'exiled, unclean.' The snakes use it to refer to vampires, because of their history. It'll be explained in another fic I'm doing, so whatever. Slytherin house now temporarily exiles those they deem unworthy of being in Slytherin. Scumballs come in many colours. You stand in a circle and throw it from one person to another. Eventually, it will explode and spray a foul-smelling substance over the unfortunate that is holding it at the time. That person is then out. There will be a smaller, different coloured scumball inside that one, (like babushka dolls, only with goo!) and the game continues. The last scumball, and the smallest, holds a prize, as opposed to foul goo. This can be anything from a cheering charm to a wizarding fortune cookie, or even a chocolate frog. Sirius Black once found filibuster's famous wet- start fireworks in his, and got the bright idea of setting them off under Peter Pettigrew's bed at 3 in the morning.
A/N: alrighty, that's possibly the longest chapter I've ever written. Be ever so proud of me. It's only 9:18, but I have exams tomorrow, and haven't studied a single bit. Review and I might not bite you. I don't know though, I /am/ kinda hungry.