Author's Note: Yeah, so… for some random reason I thought it would be a good idea to do a series of song parodies with the themes of various horror movies. This'll be updated erratically, I'm sure. Hopefully it'll give you a laugh or two, and give me something to do while I wait to graduate high school. No own.
First up: Psycho California!
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(The opening notes of the Psycho theme play, slowly melting into the cool strains of Hotel California. Appropriate clips from the movie play as Marion Crane's voice sings in the background)
Marion: Driving across the state line
Running from the law
Rain splashing on my windshield
Like a vat of coleslaw
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a vacancy sign
I pulled my car into the parking lot
I thought I'd be just fine!
There he stood in the doorway
Like a ticking time bomb
He told me that a boy's best friend
Was his dear old mom
Then he picked up a big knife
And showed me to my room
As I started to unpack my things
I heard the voice of doom, say…
Norman Bates: Welcome to the lovely Bates Motel, yeah…
Such a lovely life…
Such a bloody knife
You don't stay long at the lovely Bates Motel, yeah…
Off the beaten track…
Better watch your back!
Marion: Sweat stuck skin to my clothing
I needed a shower bad
There was no number high enough
To count the hygiene troubles I had
So I turned on the spigot
Aaaand, I stepped in…
When out of nowhere, I could hear
Shrieking violins!
Saw him over my shoulder
I was dripping wet
And I thought, "This is just about as forward,
As he could ever get!"
But in the back of mind I felt something wrong…
He didn't pull out what I had hoped for
But still, it sure was long!
Norman Bates: Welcome to the lovely Bates Motel, yeah…
How could you have known…?
Should have just stayed home
Never check out of the lovely Bates Motel, yeah…
Such a big surprise…
Such wide open eyes…
(There is a brief pause, at which point Alfred Hitchcock walks by in the background)
Marion: Bloodstains on the porcelain
Close up of my eye
When I left for work that morning
I didn't plan to die
He said his name is Norman
His family life is a mess
But I have to admit to myself
He looked good in that dress!
(The song ends with an extensive instrumental solo, punctuated by the occasional random violin)
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Look out for my next parody, I Am Satan to be added here as a second chapter.