Aragorn had just showed up with Gandalf, asking if Thranduil's people would
hold Gollum for a while.
Legolas looked uncertainly at the creature and then hugged him,
disgustedly.
"Legolas! I meant hold him prisoner!" Aragorn said.
The Prince looked relieved and let go of the filthy creature. So yadda,
yadda, ya, they left and it was Legolas' turn to watch Gollum. He stepped
into the thing's cell and sat next to him.
Gollum immediately scrambled away from the Elf.
"You stay away from me, Perv Boy!" he said, expecting another hug.
"Relax, Baldy, I'm only here cuz I have to be," Legolas said, eyeing the
lack of hair on this thing's head.
Gollum involuntarily put a hand to his head. He then grabbed a few of
Legolas' perfectly golden strands and yanked.
"OWW!" The Elf Prince cried. Gollum laughed, a rather disgusting sound
really, think Donald Duck with pneumonia.
Legolas slapped Gollum. "It's not funny!" He then noticed how dry the
creature's skin was. "Dude," he said. "Do you, like, EVER use moisturizer?"
"Moisturizer?" repeated Gollum. "You know," Legolas said, looking at Gollum in a whole new light. "Neutrogena, Body Clear, Heavenly Scents?" Gollum looked blank. Legolas was excited. "Stay right here!" he almost squealed. "I have JUST the thing!" Gollum waited a little while until Legolas skipping, came back with a box of beauty supplies. The creature Gollum stared stupefied at the box's contents. "Okay," said Legolas, sounding a lot like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "first, we'll put a dab of Neutrogena lotion on your face." he said, concentrating on his project. "Kay, now a bit of lip balm." Gollum was too befuddled to stop the crazy Elf. "Alright," Legolas was really happy, he loved makeovers. "Bit of blush."
And so it continued until minutes turned into hours. Gollum indeed was feeling a bit better at the sight of Legolas smiling every time he looked at him. Finally, he stopped. The Elf gasped in delight. "Mission TOTALLY accomplished!" he squealed with glee. He got out a hand mirror and showed Gollum. Gollum slowly took a peek at the new him. He=is hands went to his face. "I'm.pretty!" He hugged Legolas. They clasped hands and burst out in a chorus of "I Feel Pretty". And with Gollum's singing voice, it wasn't exactly music to anyone's ears. "OMG!" Legolas said when they had finished. "Gollum, you look TOTALLY amazing!" "I know" he giggled. They then started up another round of their previous song as they danced around the room.
"Moisturizer?" repeated Gollum. "You know," Legolas said, looking at Gollum in a whole new light. "Neutrogena, Body Clear, Heavenly Scents?" Gollum looked blank. Legolas was excited. "Stay right here!" he almost squealed. "I have JUST the thing!" Gollum waited a little while until Legolas skipping, came back with a box of beauty supplies. The creature Gollum stared stupefied at the box's contents. "Okay," said Legolas, sounding a lot like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, "first, we'll put a dab of Neutrogena lotion on your face." he said, concentrating on his project. "Kay, now a bit of lip balm." Gollum was too befuddled to stop the crazy Elf. "Alright," Legolas was really happy, he loved makeovers. "Bit of blush."
And so it continued until minutes turned into hours. Gollum indeed was feeling a bit better at the sight of Legolas smiling every time he looked at him. Finally, he stopped. The Elf gasped in delight. "Mission TOTALLY accomplished!" he squealed with glee. He got out a hand mirror and showed Gollum. Gollum slowly took a peek at the new him. He=is hands went to his face. "I'm.pretty!" He hugged Legolas. They clasped hands and burst out in a chorus of "I Feel Pretty". And with Gollum's singing voice, it wasn't exactly music to anyone's ears. "OMG!" Legolas said when they had finished. "Gollum, you look TOTALLY amazing!" "I know" he giggled. They then started up another round of their previous song as they danced around the room.