Okay, I did it again, I'm sorry. I didn't update as soon as I should have. But, I'm back now, and I'll have the next chapter out by tomorrow (I hope!).
This chapter kind of takes a weird turn at the end (I've kind of explored this angle before, but not as much), and I have no idea how people will react to it. If you totally hate it, let me know.
Also, I'm looking for names for this story. If you have any ideas, let me know. Thanks!
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"Mom, I'm home!" I shouted when I got home. I found my mom and Mikey sitting in the kitchen, eating dinner- a rare sight. There was a pot of something on the stove. "Great, I'm starving." For the first time in a long time, I actually was. I pulled down a plate, filled it with the spaghetti calling my name and sat down with them.
"Where were you?" my mom asked. She didn't sound happy.
"I told you. I had a friend-related emergency."
"That doesn't answer my question."
I took a bite of my pasta. I refused to let her get me upset. "I had to go to the hospital with one of the girls from the spirit squad." Not a lie.
"Next time, tell me that. And where were you this morning?"
"What do you mean?"
"The school called and said you were skipping."
"I wasn't skipping. Mr. Head-up-his-butt marks you down as skipping if you take more than five minutes in the bathroom."
"Why were you in there for so long?"
What was with the third degree? "I got my period."
Mikey dropped his fork. "Eating here!"
I stifled a laugh. "Okay. Just don't make it a habit," she cautioned warily.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hello?"
I took a deep breath before I spoke, still seriously considering hanging up and forgetting the whole thing.
"Hi, Mrs. Aden," I said as confidently as I could. "It's Paige. Could I speak to Hazel?"
"Paige, it's so nice to hear from you again. I'll go get Hazel." I could hear footsteps, then faint voices, and finally, "Hello?"
"Hey Haze, it's me."
"Hi," she said without emotion. She was still mad at me.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I said."
"But?"
"But what?"
"Well, there must be a but coming."
She was even madder than I thought she was. "No but. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
It took a minute for her to respond. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. And you were right. I don't know what if feels like to be raped. But I can't help you if you don't let me."
"I know," I said softly. "I'm sorry."
Hazel giggled. "This must be the most sincere apologies that either of has have ever said in one telephone call."
I laughed too. And it felt good. Things really could work out.
That night, for the first time since I had been raped, I slept with my light off.
"Did everything work out last night?" Ashley asked me the next morning.
"As well as it could have. I couldn't do that when I was in her position."
"Maybe you just needed people backing you up."
"Paige? Can I talk to you for a minute?" a small voice came from beside me. Emma, the chronic tree-hugger was standing there. I wanted to walk away, considering how much I had always disliked Emma, but instead turned to Ashley.
"I'll see you in class." I motioned for Emma to come walk with me. "What's up?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you."
"What do you mean?"
"What's going on with Manny?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's acting different. And she was talking to you yesterday. I thought you might know what's going on with her."
I didn't want to blab Manny's story. "Have you tried talking to her?"
"She won't talk."
I decided to do something stupid. "Something happened to her Emma. Something bad. And it's something that's happened to me, so I tried to talk to her about it."
"Is this about that Dean guy?"
"How did you hear about him?"
"There's a rumour about you and a guy named Dean. She said you were badmouthing him."
"Yeah, it has something to do with him. But you need to talk to her."
"She won't talk to me though."
I felt bad for her. "I'll try talking to Manny," I promised.
"Thanks Paige." Before I could say anything else, she disappeared. I looked down the hall and saw Spinner walking towards me.
"Hey," he greeted me with a kiss. One of the teachers walking down the hall gave me a dirty look. I ignored her.
"So, my mom has to go for a wedding tonight. I've got the house to myself tonight. Do you want to come over?" I asked with my forehead pressed to his.
He smiled. "That sounds good."
He had no idea what he was in for.
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"What's with the bloody nose?" I asked. "He kills a fly and his nose bleeds?" We were at my house the next night, watching The Ring.
"I have no idea." He looked over at me and I smiled. He kissed me. I kissed him back. The movie continued, forgotten, in the background. I leaned backwards, and he followed. His hand started dipping into my shirt. My heart started racing.
"Is this okay?" he asked. I felt myself reliving the time Dean had asked me. I had to remind myself that this was Spinner, not Dean.
"Paige?"
"Yeah. That's- that's okay." I went back to kissing him, feeling sick to my stomach. I had to take control. I maneuverer my way on top of him and started pulling at his shirt.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"
"Okay." His hands started tugging at my shirt, but I pulled them off, then picked one up and led him up the stairs and into my room. We didn't say anything. I didn't kiss him, but traced my hand across his cheek, down over his chest, his stomach, and finally came to the bottom of his shirt, and slowly pulled it over his head. I was in control, and I felt more empowerment than I had felt in months. I could do this. I could prove to myself once and for all that I was stronger than Dean.
I brought my lips back to his, and we walked backwards, falling onto the bed. He continued kissing me, but rolled on top. My heart started beating harder, not from excitement, but from fear. Spinner pulled my shirt off. I couldn't breathe. I was petrified. Part of me knew that he would never hurt me, but another part knew that I had thought the same thing about Dean. But I didn't say anything and just kept kissing him. Suddenly, he pulled away from my mouth and started trailing down to my neck. I scrambled up and out from under him, shaking violently, resisting the need to scream.
I walked over to my window, a safe distance away from him and wrapped my arms around myself. I had no shirt on, but didn't bother to find one. I just stared out my window at the cloudy night. Spinner came over to me and wordlessly put his arms around my shoulders from behind me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears falling silently down my cheeks. "I can't do this."
"It's okay," he promised. "It's okay."
Neither of us said anything for a long time after that. He just held me and let me cry. I scolded myself later on for being so vulnerable, but at the time, it felt okay. I couldn't believe how close I had been to finally getting my life back, to proving that I was stronger than Dean. I had been so close to being in control, and lost it.
This chapter kind of takes a weird turn at the end (I've kind of explored this angle before, but not as much), and I have no idea how people will react to it. If you totally hate it, let me know.
Also, I'm looking for names for this story. If you have any ideas, let me know. Thanks!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mom, I'm home!" I shouted when I got home. I found my mom and Mikey sitting in the kitchen, eating dinner- a rare sight. There was a pot of something on the stove. "Great, I'm starving." For the first time in a long time, I actually was. I pulled down a plate, filled it with the spaghetti calling my name and sat down with them.
"Where were you?" my mom asked. She didn't sound happy.
"I told you. I had a friend-related emergency."
"That doesn't answer my question."
I took a bite of my pasta. I refused to let her get me upset. "I had to go to the hospital with one of the girls from the spirit squad." Not a lie.
"Next time, tell me that. And where were you this morning?"
"What do you mean?"
"The school called and said you were skipping."
"I wasn't skipping. Mr. Head-up-his-butt marks you down as skipping if you take more than five minutes in the bathroom."
"Why were you in there for so long?"
What was with the third degree? "I got my period."
Mikey dropped his fork. "Eating here!"
I stifled a laugh. "Okay. Just don't make it a habit," she cautioned warily.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hello?"
I took a deep breath before I spoke, still seriously considering hanging up and forgetting the whole thing.
"Hi, Mrs. Aden," I said as confidently as I could. "It's Paige. Could I speak to Hazel?"
"Paige, it's so nice to hear from you again. I'll go get Hazel." I could hear footsteps, then faint voices, and finally, "Hello?"
"Hey Haze, it's me."
"Hi," she said without emotion. She was still mad at me.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I said."
"But?"
"But what?"
"Well, there must be a but coming."
She was even madder than I thought she was. "No but. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
It took a minute for her to respond. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. And you were right. I don't know what if feels like to be raped. But I can't help you if you don't let me."
"I know," I said softly. "I'm sorry."
Hazel giggled. "This must be the most sincere apologies that either of has have ever said in one telephone call."
I laughed too. And it felt good. Things really could work out.
That night, for the first time since I had been raped, I slept with my light off.
"Did everything work out last night?" Ashley asked me the next morning.
"As well as it could have. I couldn't do that when I was in her position."
"Maybe you just needed people backing you up."
"Paige? Can I talk to you for a minute?" a small voice came from beside me. Emma, the chronic tree-hugger was standing there. I wanted to walk away, considering how much I had always disliked Emma, but instead turned to Ashley.
"I'll see you in class." I motioned for Emma to come walk with me. "What's up?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you."
"What do you mean?"
"What's going on with Manny?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's acting different. And she was talking to you yesterday. I thought you might know what's going on with her."
I didn't want to blab Manny's story. "Have you tried talking to her?"
"She won't talk."
I decided to do something stupid. "Something happened to her Emma. Something bad. And it's something that's happened to me, so I tried to talk to her about it."
"Is this about that Dean guy?"
"How did you hear about him?"
"There's a rumour about you and a guy named Dean. She said you were badmouthing him."
"Yeah, it has something to do with him. But you need to talk to her."
"She won't talk to me though."
I felt bad for her. "I'll try talking to Manny," I promised.
"Thanks Paige." Before I could say anything else, she disappeared. I looked down the hall and saw Spinner walking towards me.
"Hey," he greeted me with a kiss. One of the teachers walking down the hall gave me a dirty look. I ignored her.
"So, my mom has to go for a wedding tonight. I've got the house to myself tonight. Do you want to come over?" I asked with my forehead pressed to his.
He smiled. "That sounds good."
He had no idea what he was in for.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What's with the bloody nose?" I asked. "He kills a fly and his nose bleeds?" We were at my house the next night, watching The Ring.
"I have no idea." He looked over at me and I smiled. He kissed me. I kissed him back. The movie continued, forgotten, in the background. I leaned backwards, and he followed. His hand started dipping into my shirt. My heart started racing.
"Is this okay?" he asked. I felt myself reliving the time Dean had asked me. I had to remind myself that this was Spinner, not Dean.
"Paige?"
"Yeah. That's- that's okay." I went back to kissing him, feeling sick to my stomach. I had to take control. I maneuverer my way on top of him and started pulling at his shirt.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"
"Okay." His hands started tugging at my shirt, but I pulled them off, then picked one up and led him up the stairs and into my room. We didn't say anything. I didn't kiss him, but traced my hand across his cheek, down over his chest, his stomach, and finally came to the bottom of his shirt, and slowly pulled it over his head. I was in control, and I felt more empowerment than I had felt in months. I could do this. I could prove to myself once and for all that I was stronger than Dean.
I brought my lips back to his, and we walked backwards, falling onto the bed. He continued kissing me, but rolled on top. My heart started beating harder, not from excitement, but from fear. Spinner pulled my shirt off. I couldn't breathe. I was petrified. Part of me knew that he would never hurt me, but another part knew that I had thought the same thing about Dean. But I didn't say anything and just kept kissing him. Suddenly, he pulled away from my mouth and started trailing down to my neck. I scrambled up and out from under him, shaking violently, resisting the need to scream.
I walked over to my window, a safe distance away from him and wrapped my arms around myself. I had no shirt on, but didn't bother to find one. I just stared out my window at the cloudy night. Spinner came over to me and wordlessly put his arms around my shoulders from behind me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears falling silently down my cheeks. "I can't do this."
"It's okay," he promised. "It's okay."
Neither of us said anything for a long time after that. He just held me and let me cry. I scolded myself later on for being so vulnerable, but at the time, it felt okay. I couldn't believe how close I had been to finally getting my life back, to proving that I was stronger than Dean. I had been so close to being in control, and lost it.