Welcome to the would have been songfic. I'm going to post the song that I would have put the lyrics to. It's a bit cheesy, and you'll be able to tell, I wrote it when I was mad at my mom.

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"The Crown attorney wants to meet with you tomorrow," he told me when we reached my house.

"When?"

"Tomorrow evening."

"Okay," I said softly. "Tomorrow."

It was dark, humid, and it looked like it was going to rain. I got out and with whatever energy I had left, I trudged up my walkway and into my house. I had planned to call Ash, but I closed the door and I collapsed on the couch, and I had no energy left to do anything but turn on the TV and drift off to sleep.

Mikey was home when I woke up, and he was beside me on the couch, watching TV. I stretched and looked at him groggily.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

I looked out the window. "Is it really morning?"

"Nah, it's only six."

"What are you watching?"

"News."

"Can you put Friends on instead?"

"No. I want to watch."

I still didn't have enough energy to fight him, so I curled up and watched the news with him. It went pretty well until one of the women I had seen in the courtroom with fancy clothes and perfect hair came onto the screen.

"There was a disturbance at a pre-trial motion this afternoon at the York County courtroom. A judge has dismissed seven out of nine charges against the seventeen year-old defendant, Dean Roberts, who is being tried as an adult, despite have being sixteen when he omitted his crimes, was charged with seven counts of rape, one count of assault and one count of breaking and entering. The charges have now been reduced to one count rape and one count breaking and entering. After the appearance, one of the alleged victims attacked Mr. Roberts, screaming profanities and brandished a knife. The girl is reported to have been recently released from the mental institution where she had be staying since her alleged attack. No words on wether charges are being laid."

Neither of us spoke. We just stared at the screen, and Mikey quickly switched to the channel Friends was on.

"I didn't have a knife." I finally said.

"I know."

"He talked to me first."

"I know."

"And I didn't really attack him."

"Paige, she's a journalist. It's her job to make a mountain out of a molehill."

"But it's my life she's talking about!" I shouted, suddenly angry. "Can't. . . can't we sue her or something?"

"It's going to all blow over, I promise."

I stood up. "I'm sick of this! Everyone can control my life and do and say whatever they want to me! Everyone except me! This is my life and I'm the only one who doesn't have control over it! You and mom wanted to know why I cut, well now you know. It was the only thing I have control over! And you all took that away too!"

"Paige-"

"No, you know what? I have control over something else too. I'm leaving!" With those words, I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me.

The air was thick, and I felt dizzy. I didn't know what was going on. I started walking, then running. I was out of breath, and cold. It was cold for April, and I was freezing in just a long sleeved shirt. I ran as best I could with the sticky air, but wasn't getting far. Finally, I snapped back to reality when I ran straight into someone. I tried to run through them, but couldn't go any further. I couldn't escape. I could barely move. I just pushed against their chest.

"Paige, it's me."

I stoped fighting him, and just let myself go. "Spin?" I asked meekly.

"It's me," he said softly, wrapping his arms around me. I finally allowed to catch my breath, and realized that I was shivering. It had started snowing while I was running, wet, large raindrops had started to fall. They had covered me, and I had been soaked.

"Why are you out here?" I asked. His body was warm, his sweater soft, and I didn't want to let go of him.

"Mikey called me. He thought you might come to see me."

"But you looked for me instead?"

I felt his shoulders shrug. "Instinct," he explained. "Let's get out of here." He had thrown his jacket on, but hadn't bothered to zip it up. He took it off and draped it over my shoulders.

"Thanks," I whispered. He kissed me on the top of the head and we headed back to his house.

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"Are you sure that this is okay with your parents?" I asked as he turned on his gas fireplace.

He shrugged. "What they don't know won't hurt them."

"Where are they?"

"Working, dinner, I don't know."

"And Kendra?"

"With Toby."

"Sorry about the whole freaking-out you-having-to-come-find-me."

"It's hardly your fault."

"Did Mikey tell you what happened?"

"No. How did the court thing go?"

"He got motion. He's not even being charged for cutting me."

"What!?"

"Apparently, I'm not a good enough witness because I'm nuts. Surprise, huh?"

"That's bullshit."

"The judge didn't think so."

"Well the judge can kiss my-"

"Spin," I said warningly, but giggled at the thought.

"Well, it's true!"

"Anyways, I went home and fell asleep, and when I woke up, Mikey was watching the news. And the news person said that a mentally disturbed alleged victim had attacked Dean with a knife."

"Did you talk to him?"

"You think I did!"

"No, I don't."

"He said something to me. And I lunged at him."

I held my hands in front of the fire, trying to warm them up. I was still shivering. He picked up on it.

"You're still cold?"

"A little," I admitted.

"Come here," he said, patting a spot next to him on the couch I was leaning against. I did, and he pulled a blanket out from under the couch and wrapped it around us, then pulled me into his chest. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his shoulder.

"It's over," I whispered.

"What is?"

"Everything with Dean. He got away with it."

"He can still go to jail."

I shrugged, putting my hand on top of his. He responded by turning his hand over and lacing his fingers through mine. "I'm just going to be a rape victim forever." I was astounded that I could even manage the words. I had barely been able to process the meaning of rape, and all the things it meant in my life, let alone say the word. It had rolled off my tongue easily. I played the word over in my head. Rape, rape, rape.

"No you're not."

I turned to look at him. "What do you mean?" Did he think that I hadn't been raped? That I had said yes?

"You've said it yourself," he explained, further confusing me. "That song. 'I'm not your Poor Thing'. You got him arrested, Paige. You're not a victim. You're a survivor."

I tried rolling that words around in my head. Survivor. Survivor. Maybe one day I would be able to say it. Just not yet. Not today. Maybe tomorrow, I thought. Maybe tomorrow.

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I was getting ready for bed when I heard someone knock on my door.

"Who's there?" I asked, pulling on an oversized t-shirt over my pyjama pants.

The door opened and my mom stepped inside. She sat down on the edge of my bed. She looked around for awhile.

"Do you want something?" I finally asked.

"You know, it's really a mess in here Paige."

I gritted my teeth. I didn't feel like getting lectured. "I'll clean it up tomorrow."

"Good." Then she paused. "Mikey told me you ran out today."

I shrugged. "Yeah."

"I think that it's time we got back to normal."

"What do you mean?"

"I think I've been patient enough. But I'm not going to keep letting to leave without telling me where you're going."

"I did that once!"

"Or come home late without calling."

"I was at the hospital with Manny!"

"Or the phone calls about you skipping class."

"Once again, with Manny."

"That wasn't the first time. From now on, I think we need a new set of rules in this house."

"Why?"

"Because you're all over the place. You attacked Dean in the courtroom today."

"He came at me first."

She put up her hand to silence me. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"

I just stared straight ahead. She got up, kissed the top of my head, said goodnight, then left me alone. I sat there for a minute with clenched fists, and tried counting to ten, my mom's visit just adding fuel to an already awful day. Finally, I turned around and I hit pillow. Hard. Again, and again, picturing the Botox-ed artificial reporter, Dean, even Mikey and my mom.

Once I had finished my tantrum and sufficiently pummelled the pillow, I checked the clock. It was almost ten, but decided Ash wouldn't be in bed yet. I picked up the phone and dialled her number. Her mom picked up on the third ring.

"Hi, is Ashley there?"

"Is this Paige?" her mom asked.

"Yes."

"She told me you might call. She's sleeping over at Ellie's tonight. She said she'd see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Your welcome, dear. Have a good night."

"You too," I said as calmly as I could, disappointment taking over me. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I was sick of hearing it. It was as if no one wanted to deal with me. Nothing could be done. I went to my dresser to use brush my hair, and I caught sight of something hiding under my jewellery box. A shard of glass, crimson blood droplets that had turned a rusty brown since the last time I had used it.

Tomorrow, tomorrow. It was as if today didn't exist. No one was real. It was all just a big mistake, maybe even a figment of my imagination. And if everyone was ignoring me, I could do something, and it wouldn't hurt the next day.

I could just cut once. One little cut. It wouldn't even show. And I had already broken my promise to myself about not letting Dean control my life anymore. One little cut. Just one little gash would let it out. I took a deep breath, and with my hand shaking more than it had the first time I cut myself, I brought the glass closer to my skin. Suddenly, a rush of emotions came back to me.

There had been something real. There had been something true, and something that would bring unbelievable pain if I lost. Spinner. I thought of his deep brown eyes, the way he could see right past the persona I had put up for years. How I felt like he could see into me, the real me with those eyes. And the way he had held me that afternoon. He had wrapped his arms around me, with such tenderness, and the world hadn't seemed like such a bad place. I had to keep him, I needed him with me, and I couldn't be a nutcase if I wanted that.

I gingerly put the shard of glass in my trash bin, then switched my lights off and in the darkness, I crawled into bed. I curled into a ball, and hugged my knees to my chest, as if I could fight off the nightmares that I knew were coming. After seeing Dean, they would invade my dreams, making even my most unconscious moments painfully aware of his presence. Resigned, I turned my light on in an attempt to free myself from the hell he had left me in, and I could only hope, that tomorrow, things would change.

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The song is (Drumroll please) Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne