I'm getting pretty close to the end here. I've got three more chapters after his planned, although there may be more. All of them are song-fic-ish. I'll just say what song would got with it, and I promise, no lyrics. At the end of this chapter, the song would be Acoustic #3 by the Goo Goo Dolls. And the book I mention is "The Survivors Club" by Lisa Gardner. Totally amazing book. Run, don't walk, to get it.

I have to say thank you all so much for your kind reviews ; ). It's really the greatest feeling. And sorry to everyone who's stories I usually review. I'm having huge internet problems, so when I can access the site, it takes me five minutes to load a page, and it randomly disconnects. I promise I'll get back to review all the stories once it's fixed.

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I was up at five o'clock in the morning. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Instead, I let out all the new clothes Ash and I had bought and took an hour trying them on and trying to figure out what to wear to the trial. I finally decided on the beige pants and black blouse.

After an hour of getting dressed and half an hour of playing with my hair, I was completely ready and had two hours to go before I met Manny, along with the other girls who had pressed charges. We had dubbed ourselves "The Survivors Club" after Jena had gotten the idea from a Lisa Gardner book. Even if we couldn't press charges, we would stare him down from the front row in the courtroom.

Jenny had worked hours to get me ready for this. She wasn't allowed to have all of us testify, so chose me because of him breaking into my house, and it was me that had gotten everyone to come forward.

Dylan knocked on my door. "Paige?"

"It's open."

He came in, fully dressed. "Phone." He handed me the cordless.

"Hello?" Dylan stood in the doorway.

"Paige, it's me." Jena's voice was panicked. "Can you come over?"

"Um. . ." I covered the mouthpiece. "Are you going for Volleyball practice?"

"Yeah. Is everything okay?"

"Jena needs me. Can you give me a ride?"

"Can you leave in two minutes?"

"Yeah."

"I'll drive you."

"Thanks!" I went back to the phone. "I'll be there soon."

"Thanks," she whispered, then hung up. "Car. Now."

"I'm going, I'm going. Besides, aren't I the one driving you?"

"Thank you Dylan," I said sweetly.

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Jena didn't live all that far from me. She went to a Catholic school, but had she been in public, she would have gone to Degrassi.

"Good luck today," he told me when we pulled up in front of her house. The courthouse was within walking distance from her house, and with his words came the harsh realization that the trial was only an hour and a half away.

"Thanks," I whispered for the third or fourth time.

"Can I be the annoying, overprotective big brother for a minute?"

I nodded.

"I'm proud of you for doing this. And I would like nothing better than to pummel him. But I think what you're doing is probably more effective. And legal."

I smiled and before I could stop myself, I threw my arms around him. "I'll see you tonight." We both regained our composure, and I got out.

Jena answered the door right away. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair was a mess and she was wearing an old bathrobe.

"I can't do this," she told me tearfully as I stepped inside.

"Do what?"

"The trial, seeing him, all of it."

Throughout the whole experience, Jena had always been the strong one. She had always kept it together, and had always been there, no matter what. Even with the whole HIV thing, Jena had taken it better than me. It was a shock to see her that way.

"Hon, you've got to calm down."

She started pacing. "No. I can't."

"Yes, you can. Come on, let's find you something to wear."

"Paige," she said desperately.

"No," I said firmly. "You called me over here, now I'm going to do what I need to do."

She wiped at her eyes. "Look at me. I'm a mess."

Her already pale skin looked even paler than usual, but I didn't mention anything. On her bed, she had laid out all black clothes.

"It's kind of interesting," she said bitterly. She sounded angry, but looked like she was still choking back tears. "I'm not dead yet and I know who kills me." She broke into more sobbing.

I finally understood. I hadn't realized how much having HIV had affected her- and how. For her, it was harder than for anyone of us. Not only did she have to deal with the memories of that night, she had a daily reminder of him and her potentially fatal disease.

"Look," I told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. But you're going to be stuck with me for a long, long time. And today, you can either sit here with me, because I'm not going anywhere, or you can come with me and we can watch this jackass go to jail for a long, long time."

She smiled slightly at that. "You think we have time to do something with my hair?"

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Despite everything, we were still at the courthouse at eight-thirty, an hour before the trial was supposed to start. In a moment of insanity, I had stopped in at Second Cup, thinking a latte would calm me. I was anxious and jittery.

"They're not coming," Jena said nervously.

"They'll be here," I said to her as I spotted Manny coming up the steps.

Slowly, the seven of us came together and took our seats in the front row. My heart pounded wildly in my chest, and I could barley think. Jena gripped my hand. I smiled at her.

"It's almost over," I whispered.

We all sat there, hand in hand waiting to see what was to come of us.

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The morning was boring. All they were doing was jury selection. We took a break at lunch, but none of us had eaten anything much. The afternoon was a bit more interesting with opening statements and the doctor who had examined Manny testifying. The real fireworks didn't start until the next day. In the morning, Manny testified, and in the afternoon, it was my turn.

I had to wait at a back door for someone to take me in, so I missed most of what Manny said. I had no idea what to expect. When she came out the door I was supposed to go in, she was crying. We hugged quickly, and the bailiff called my name. I followed him into the courtroom. He led me to the stand, and like on all good cop shows, I had to promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Jenny's questions had gone exactly like she had asked me in her officer. My name, what school I went to, how I knew Dean. The night of the party, what happened, and when and why did I press charges. Dean coming to my school again, calling me, e-mailing me and breaking in. Dean's lawyer, a fifty-some guy with gray hair, an emotionless face and an expensive suit, never once objected. Jenny finished, and he stood up.

"Miss Michalchuk, how old did you say you are?"

"Fourteen."

"Fourteen. And how many boyfriends would you say you've had."

I'd been on plenty of dates, but I hadn't really dated that many. "Uh, two or three."

"Is that counting my client?"

"I never dated Dean."

"Really? How's that?"

"Being asked out on a date isn't the same thing as dating someone."

"Okay, so how many guys have you gone out on dates with?"

"I don't know. Like a dozen."

"So, you get around?"

Before I could get angry, Jenny stood up and objected. Before she or the other lawyer could argue, the judge got mad at Dean's lawyer. I looked over at the jury. I didn't know if they felt sorry for me or were disgusted.

"Are you currently in a relationship?"

I didn't know how to answer that. Were Spin and I still together? "Yes."

"Out of one bed and into another."

"Objection!" Jenny shouted again.

"Sustained," the judge said for the second time in less than a minute. He said something else to the lawyer, but I couldn't understand what exactly it was.

"Miss Michalchuk, the night of the party, did Mr. Roberts ask you to go upstairs?"

"No. I suggested it."

"You asked him to go upstairs with you?"

"To talk."

"So let me get this straight. You were at a party where they were serving alcohol, even though you're underage. You're with a guy who you know is older and visibly stronger than you, and you suggest going to talk? When I was in school, suggesting to into a room alone to talk wasn't for talking."

"So what?" I spat. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "He's a guy who's bigger than me so I should know that he's going to rape me?! My brother's bigger than me. Should I be scared of him too?"

"Miss Michalchuk, did you or did you not knowing invite Mr. Roberts into a situation you knew was dangerous?"

"No, I did not."

"That's not what it sounds like to me. Now, you were hospitalized about three months ago, is that right?"

He was bring my breakdown into this? "Yes."

"What for?"

I pursed my lips. "I had a nervous breakdown."

"You were diagnosed with several mental illnesses, were you not?"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from Dean- uh, Mr. Roberts raping me."

"That remains to be seen. No further questions."

Instead of making him look guilty, all I had done was sound like a crazy slut who had seduced him.

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"Paige, I'm so sorry," Jenny said after the trial had ended for the day. She looked genuinely upset. "I had completely forgotten that he would have access to your medical records."

"Why did he have access in the first place?"

"Because of all those tests you had to take. They're considered evidence."

"So he's going to get away with it?"

"No, he's not. I promise you, there is still so much to be done before the jury makes their decision."

"But if they had to make their decision right now?"

"I honestly don't know."

I nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Paige, whatever happens, I want you to know that you now have complete control."

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to you was completely out of your control. But you chose to do this, and he didn't get the chance to intimidate you. Whatever happens, you took control."

"Thanks," I said softly. She didn't say anything else, so I walked out of the room, the whole courthouse. Most of the press had already left. The other girls had gone. I had a couple of microphones stuck in my face, but ignored them. I got out to the front steps and pulled out my cell phone to call Dylan, but I heard a car horn honking from down the steps. I walked down, and found Dylan waiting for me. I got in, and wordlessly, we started home.

Halfway home, he pulled the car over. "Jenny called me. I know what happened."

"Why did she call you?"

"She's worried about you. She told me what Dean's lawyer did. She just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Oh."

"Are you?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He looked confused. "Why not?"

"Nothing going to change based on how I feel. No one's going to listen."

"So not so good, huh?"

"Can we just go home?"

He nodded, and was about to pull the car back on the road when he turned back to me.

"I ran into Spinner today. I heard about what happened with the two of you."

"And?"

"Just call him Paige. Or go see him. Whatever, just talk to him."

"But what if there's nothing left to talk about?"

"There's no way that there's nothing left between the two of you."

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That night, I didn't get angry, and I didn't break down sobbing. I sat with my mom at dinner, I did the homework my teachers had given me, and I went to bed at a decent hour. I turned of my light, hugged a pillow to my chest and just sat in the dark. I didn't cry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how I had lost Spinner, and how I could ever get him back. I didn't know what I was going to do when Dean went free. I felt like I was in the middle of a crowded room, screaming, and no one was listening.