I'm so sorry, and I want to thank you all for sticking with me. I had a bit of a crisis, along with midterms and a big debate tournament, but now I'm back, and should hopefully have another chapter out pretty soon.
I want to say a very big thank-you to EvenAngelsFall22 for the swift kick in the ass to remind me that I had taken so long and really needed to get back to this. And I highly recommend all of her stories- totally amazing!
This chapter might be a little different. I didn't have this planned. It just kind of happened. But I felt like I needed this before the verdict (Yes, I will be giving a verdict. Just not in this chapter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thursday proved to be the most interesting day of the trial. It was the closing statements, and in those closing statements, every single theory, every shred of evidence and every word that had been said were all presented. Then, it was over. The jury disappeared. It was all in their hands.
There was no verdict on Thursday.
Or on Friday.
I had to go to school on Friday. They wouldn't let me sit in the courtroom, and my mom decided that I had to go to school, but I could keep my cell phone on vibrate in case the verdict was in.
People looked at me strangely. It wasn't the first time that I had been away from school for an extended period of time, but this time there were people who knew. I didn't want them to.
Friday night, Spinner decided that it was time to take me out. He had gotten Ashley and Craig to come with us, and we had gone to a little Italian place near me.
"How are you doing?" Ash asked once Craig and Spinner had immersed themselves in a discussion about the advantages of using spray cheese in contact sports.
I shrugged. "I was hoping that they'd know. Maybe it would be easier if I knew he was going to get away with it, and get used to the idea of him being out instead of holding on to the hope that he might actually get convicted."
"You don't think he will?"
"Ash, at this point I don't know what to think." I swirled my Diet Coke around in the glass in front of me, but didn't take a sip.
"Have you been sleeping?"
"A bit. I didn't last night."
"You should."
"Thanks mom."
"I'm not trying to nag you-"
"I know, it's okay. Just relax. I'm not that crazy anymore, remember?" I tried to laugh, but there was really no humour in what I was saying. Luckily, Spinner turned to us to get our opinion.
"What do you think?" he asked, "Should spray cheese be allowed in full-contact rugby?"
I rolled my eyes. "I swear, you have a two track mind."
"Wrong. Spray cheese, sports and girls. That's three."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Now let's look at you for a minute. I'd say you have a three track mind as well. Shoes, clothing and guys."
"Four track. And John Mayer."
"John Mayer's not a guy?" He grinned devilishly. "I've always had my doubts."
I smacked him. "John Mayer's a god and therefore deserves his own category."
"Still doesn't make him male."
I smacked him again, then grinned. "Well, lucky for you, they're playing one of his songs."
He listened for a second, then groaned. "I don't ever get to escape him."
"Oh well, get over it." I smiled, then started singing along. "I tell everyone I smile just because I've got a city love. . ." I stopped and kissed him softly.
"What was that for?"
"Because I've got a city love."
He looked at me like I had gone nuts, then relaxed his face into a smile. "Anything that gets me kissed has to be good. I'll take it."
"Even if it means listening to John Mayer?"
He hesitated. "Yeah, even listening to John Mayer."
I grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."
We turned away as the waitress brought us our food, but I felt his hand rest on the small of my back. It felt good to have him back. If only it didn't feel so bad about the trial.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Okay, you two behave yourselves, I'll be back before two," my mom shouted as she was headed out the door Saturday night for her monthly "Girls Night Out".
"I'm having a couple of friends over tonight. You cool with that?"
I looked up from my magazine. "Huh?"
"Are you okay if I have a couple of friends over?"
"Couple?"
"Seven."
"Yeah, that's fine. Spinner and I were talking about going to one of those underage clubs."
"Do you need a ride?"
"I'll take the bus."
"Okay. Just make sure you're home before midnight."
"Why? Mom's not going to be home."
"I just don't want you out to late."
"Fine. I'm going to take a shower."
"Have fun," he muttered, picking up his book. I rolled my eyes and headed upstairs.
"Wow, you're all dressed up," Dylan's friend, Michelle, told me as I was coming out of my room. She had always been one of Dylan's best friends, and had always treated me well, almost as if I was her little sister. "Hot date?"
"Something like that. Do you think it's too much?" I had tried to keep as conservative as I could, but I still ended up in tight jeans and a fairly low-cut tank top. It wasn't how I used to dress, but it was still more skin than I had exposed in awhile.
"No, it looks great. Where are you going?"
"Um, that underage club that just opened. I can't remember the name."
"I think I know which one you're talking about. What time are you supposed to be there?"
"Not for another hour."
"Do you want something to drink?"
"You mean. . . won't Dylan get mad?"
"He doesn't have to know. Come on, you're pretty much the same build as me. I promise I won't give you enough to get drunk."
I shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You look awesome," Spin told me as we went in. The club was packed, and looked almost exactly like the actual clubs I'd snuck into before. The drink I'd had was making things seem brighter, and I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I laughed and pulled him onto the dance floor.
"I don't dance," he reminded me.
"Come on," I urged, pulling him gently. "It's easy."
"Paige."
I stuck out my lower lip slightly and he was faced with my best pout. "Fine," he grudgingly replied, and followed me onto the floor.
He quickly picked up on my lead, and before I knew it, we were dancing along with the other couples, looking like any other couples, and for once, feeling like almost any of the other couples. We were quickly lost in the music, in the crowd, left with no sense of time or reality. I danced closed with Spin, and relished the feeling of his body against mine.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked sometime later.
"Sure." I followed him off the dance floor, and found an empty table. I sat down and waited for him to get the drinks. I was still waiting when two guys came and sat down across from me. Both looked older than eighteen, the cut-off age for getting in. Both were tall, and considerably built. Neither of them look particularly friendly.
"You wanna get outta here, sweetie?" the first one asked, putting his hand on top of mine. I quickly pulled it away. He leaned over and whispered, "We can show you a real party."
"We've been watching you," the second one said softly. "And we want to show you what we can do tonight."
I could feel the walls closing in on me. My heart was pounding, and I felt like everyone was crowding me. It took me a little while to remind myself to breathe. I managed to get up, free myself, and I pushed across the floor and out of the club. I stood on the sidewalk only in my tank top, my jacket forgotten in the coat check somewhere. It was cold, but I ignored it. I just needed to be safe, and I needed to get home. I shivered, then pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called for a taxi.
"Paige," Spin called.
I turned around. He was standing beside me, cheeks flushed, no jacket either and two water bottles in his hand. "What happened?" he asked. I just shook my head. The good feeling I'd had after the drink was gone, and the heaviness was back.
"I was asking for it," I whispered. "Even though I know what happens when I do this. . . I still dressed like this. . . oh God, Spin. I was asking for it."
"Asking for what?" he asked.
"With Dean, tonight. . ."
"Did something happen?"
The cab pulled up to the curb. I put my hand on the handle but didn't open it. "I can't stop it. It's just like I'm a compulsive slut."
"Paige. . ."
"Good-night, Spin."
The ride home was endless. When the driver dropped my off at my house, I pulled a couple of bills out of my purse and handed them to him, then made my way into the house.
Dylan's friends were still there. They were sprawled out across the living room, each with a drink in their hands. One of them smiled at me. They all looked so relaxed. So happy. I wanted to feel happy again.
Before I headed for my room, I picked up one of the bottles they had forgotten about.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The song I mentioned was "City Love" by John Mayer, off his amazing album Room for Squares.
I want to say a very big thank-you to EvenAngelsFall22 for the swift kick in the ass to remind me that I had taken so long and really needed to get back to this. And I highly recommend all of her stories- totally amazing!
This chapter might be a little different. I didn't have this planned. It just kind of happened. But I felt like I needed this before the verdict (Yes, I will be giving a verdict. Just not in this chapter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thursday proved to be the most interesting day of the trial. It was the closing statements, and in those closing statements, every single theory, every shred of evidence and every word that had been said were all presented. Then, it was over. The jury disappeared. It was all in their hands.
There was no verdict on Thursday.
Or on Friday.
I had to go to school on Friday. They wouldn't let me sit in the courtroom, and my mom decided that I had to go to school, but I could keep my cell phone on vibrate in case the verdict was in.
People looked at me strangely. It wasn't the first time that I had been away from school for an extended period of time, but this time there were people who knew. I didn't want them to.
Friday night, Spinner decided that it was time to take me out. He had gotten Ashley and Craig to come with us, and we had gone to a little Italian place near me.
"How are you doing?" Ash asked once Craig and Spinner had immersed themselves in a discussion about the advantages of using spray cheese in contact sports.
I shrugged. "I was hoping that they'd know. Maybe it would be easier if I knew he was going to get away with it, and get used to the idea of him being out instead of holding on to the hope that he might actually get convicted."
"You don't think he will?"
"Ash, at this point I don't know what to think." I swirled my Diet Coke around in the glass in front of me, but didn't take a sip.
"Have you been sleeping?"
"A bit. I didn't last night."
"You should."
"Thanks mom."
"I'm not trying to nag you-"
"I know, it's okay. Just relax. I'm not that crazy anymore, remember?" I tried to laugh, but there was really no humour in what I was saying. Luckily, Spinner turned to us to get our opinion.
"What do you think?" he asked, "Should spray cheese be allowed in full-contact rugby?"
I rolled my eyes. "I swear, you have a two track mind."
"Wrong. Spray cheese, sports and girls. That's three."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
"Now let's look at you for a minute. I'd say you have a three track mind as well. Shoes, clothing and guys."
"Four track. And John Mayer."
"John Mayer's not a guy?" He grinned devilishly. "I've always had my doubts."
I smacked him. "John Mayer's a god and therefore deserves his own category."
"Still doesn't make him male."
I smacked him again, then grinned. "Well, lucky for you, they're playing one of his songs."
He listened for a second, then groaned. "I don't ever get to escape him."
"Oh well, get over it." I smiled, then started singing along. "I tell everyone I smile just because I've got a city love. . ." I stopped and kissed him softly.
"What was that for?"
"Because I've got a city love."
He looked at me like I had gone nuts, then relaxed his face into a smile. "Anything that gets me kissed has to be good. I'll take it."
"Even if it means listening to John Mayer?"
He hesitated. "Yeah, even listening to John Mayer."
I grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."
We turned away as the waitress brought us our food, but I felt his hand rest on the small of my back. It felt good to have him back. If only it didn't feel so bad about the trial.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Okay, you two behave yourselves, I'll be back before two," my mom shouted as she was headed out the door Saturday night for her monthly "Girls Night Out".
"I'm having a couple of friends over tonight. You cool with that?"
I looked up from my magazine. "Huh?"
"Are you okay if I have a couple of friends over?"
"Couple?"
"Seven."
"Yeah, that's fine. Spinner and I were talking about going to one of those underage clubs."
"Do you need a ride?"
"I'll take the bus."
"Okay. Just make sure you're home before midnight."
"Why? Mom's not going to be home."
"I just don't want you out to late."
"Fine. I'm going to take a shower."
"Have fun," he muttered, picking up his book. I rolled my eyes and headed upstairs.
"Wow, you're all dressed up," Dylan's friend, Michelle, told me as I was coming out of my room. She had always been one of Dylan's best friends, and had always treated me well, almost as if I was her little sister. "Hot date?"
"Something like that. Do you think it's too much?" I had tried to keep as conservative as I could, but I still ended up in tight jeans and a fairly low-cut tank top. It wasn't how I used to dress, but it was still more skin than I had exposed in awhile.
"No, it looks great. Where are you going?"
"Um, that underage club that just opened. I can't remember the name."
"I think I know which one you're talking about. What time are you supposed to be there?"
"Not for another hour."
"Do you want something to drink?"
"You mean. . . won't Dylan get mad?"
"He doesn't have to know. Come on, you're pretty much the same build as me. I promise I won't give you enough to get drunk."
I shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You look awesome," Spin told me as we went in. The club was packed, and looked almost exactly like the actual clubs I'd snuck into before. The drink I'd had was making things seem brighter, and I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I laughed and pulled him onto the dance floor.
"I don't dance," he reminded me.
"Come on," I urged, pulling him gently. "It's easy."
"Paige."
I stuck out my lower lip slightly and he was faced with my best pout. "Fine," he grudgingly replied, and followed me onto the floor.
He quickly picked up on my lead, and before I knew it, we were dancing along with the other couples, looking like any other couples, and for once, feeling like almost any of the other couples. We were quickly lost in the music, in the crowd, left with no sense of time or reality. I danced closed with Spin, and relished the feeling of his body against mine.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked sometime later.
"Sure." I followed him off the dance floor, and found an empty table. I sat down and waited for him to get the drinks. I was still waiting when two guys came and sat down across from me. Both looked older than eighteen, the cut-off age for getting in. Both were tall, and considerably built. Neither of them look particularly friendly.
"You wanna get outta here, sweetie?" the first one asked, putting his hand on top of mine. I quickly pulled it away. He leaned over and whispered, "We can show you a real party."
"We've been watching you," the second one said softly. "And we want to show you what we can do tonight."
I could feel the walls closing in on me. My heart was pounding, and I felt like everyone was crowding me. It took me a little while to remind myself to breathe. I managed to get up, free myself, and I pushed across the floor and out of the club. I stood on the sidewalk only in my tank top, my jacket forgotten in the coat check somewhere. It was cold, but I ignored it. I just needed to be safe, and I needed to get home. I shivered, then pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called for a taxi.
"Paige," Spin called.
I turned around. He was standing beside me, cheeks flushed, no jacket either and two water bottles in his hand. "What happened?" he asked. I just shook my head. The good feeling I'd had after the drink was gone, and the heaviness was back.
"I was asking for it," I whispered. "Even though I know what happens when I do this. . . I still dressed like this. . . oh God, Spin. I was asking for it."
"Asking for what?" he asked.
"With Dean, tonight. . ."
"Did something happen?"
The cab pulled up to the curb. I put my hand on the handle but didn't open it. "I can't stop it. It's just like I'm a compulsive slut."
"Paige. . ."
"Good-night, Spin."
The ride home was endless. When the driver dropped my off at my house, I pulled a couple of bills out of my purse and handed them to him, then made my way into the house.
Dylan's friends were still there. They were sprawled out across the living room, each with a drink in their hands. One of them smiled at me. They all looked so relaxed. So happy. I wanted to feel happy again.
Before I headed for my room, I picked up one of the bottles they had forgotten about.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The song I mentioned was "City Love" by John Mayer, off his amazing album Room for Squares.