Substitute Teachers + Yu-Gi-Oh! = PAAAAIIN!!
Chp. 1 - English with Tea and the messed-up story of the ugly duckling
By TheVoices and TypoNumber5 (this chapter by TN5)
A/N: This was SUPPOSED to go under TheVoices account, but she can't log in for unknown reasons, so...
From the creators of "Honey, I Shrunk Yugi!" it's... SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS + YU-GI-OH! = PAAAAIIN!! That's right! The not-so-famous duo of TheVoices and TypoNumber5 is at it again!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *cough* *choke* *hack*
Yeah... Anyway, I don't own YGO.
ON WITH THE FIC!!
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~ It was your average Monday morning. Kids mumbled and groaned as they made their way to first period classes. Lockers were kicked and homework ripped as it was clumsily pulled from the students' backpacks. But this story isn't about THEM. It's about US. ~
TN5: *yawn* What is the point of this? *lugging heavy books down the hall*
Mary Sue: *pops up in front of TN5* HIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: *screams and throws books into the air*
Mary Sue: Are you okay?
TN5: *picking up books* Yes. Fine. Where is my literature book?
Kid: YOU %&*%^ $%^*$% )(^#%&!!!!!!!!!! How DARE you throw a book at me??
TN5: Uh... it was HER! *points to Mary Sue*
Kid: DIE!!!! *throws literature book at Mary Sue*
Mary Sue: *ducks behind the person she was standing front of: TheVoices*
TheVoices: *is hit in the head with the book* X______x *unconscious*
TN5: *HUGE sweat drop*
Mary Sue: Did you just... sweat drop?
TN5: Um... *tries to turn her head to look at the sweat drop* No, I don't think-- wait-- *turning around in circles in attempt to see sweat drop*
Mary Sue: -_-;; *starts kicking TheVoices' body toward the classroom*
TN5: *still turning* I can almost see it-- it's on the edge of my vision-- *trips over stray pencil and knocks over about 10 other people*
*In class*
Mary Sue: *kicking TheVoices towards her desk*
Kid: Um... Sue? Why is TheVoices unconscious?
Mary Sue: Freak literature book accident. *drops books unto her desk and drags TheVoices by the hair over to HER desk*
TN5: *wonders into the room* *yelling over her shoulder* Gomen!! Gomen nasai!!!!
Kids: WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT LANGUAGE, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!
TN5: *sweat drops and attempts to close the classroom door, dropping her books on her foot in the process* Kuso...
Kid: Ha ha!
TN5: *glare*
TheVoices: *groan* Eeehhh... *sits up* Fluffy-chan!!
Kids: *stare*
TN5: *picks up her books... again*
TheVoices: So... whadda we have to do to day?
TN5: *seats herself at her desk* I dunno. There isn't anything written on the board...
Mary Sue: Well... maybe we get one off those "retreat days"? You know, where all we do is read all day long?
TheVoices: ¬_¬ Yeah. Or maybe *insert teacher's name here* is just a lazy bum who forgot to write the assignments on the board again.
Mary Sue: ...Or that.
~ Students began to trickle into the classroom. The place filled with the sound of chattering and loud laughter. The bell signaling the start of another school day rang. Still the noise went on; the teacher was late.
Ten minutes passed. Some began to get antsy. Others were glad they could put off facing their English teacher a little while longer. And then, slowly so that no one noticed, the door opened. Heads turned as a figure stepped into a room. And, surprisingly, that figure was... ~
Tea: Ohayo min'na!!
TheVoices & TN5: *were the only ones who understood that*
Tea: My name is Tea Gardner and I'll be your substitute teacher for today.
All YGO fans in the class: O___________O
Kid: Aren't you a little young to be a teacher?
Tea: No. I trust that everyone is present today?
Class: *nods*
Tea: Good. Today we are going to--
TheVoices: *stands up* STAY BACK, SERVANT OF SATAN!!!!!! *makes cross with fingers*
Tea: ...
Mary Sue: *also stands up* Yeah! Why'd YOU have to come here? What are you planning to do to torture us??
Tea: I'm not--
TheVoices: Don't deny it! You're here to turn us into mindless friendship crazed drones!
TN5: Yeah! You're going to make us write a 50-page essay on friendship or the Heart of the Cards or something!
Tea: Actually, I was just going to have you do a simple worksheet on pronouns and then let you talk for the rest of the period, but that's a good idea.
TN5: ...What?
Tea: Min'na, I want you to write a 25,000,000,000 word essay on either friendship or the Heart of the Cards. This should be completed by the end of the period.
Class: *glares at TN5*
TN5: *sinks down lower into her seat*
~ And so, the class set to work on their essays. However, they spent more time glaring at either TN5 or Tea, so after a few minutes the later decided she needed to get them working harder. ~
Tea: Alright, now I'm going to check your progress. *picks up some kid's paper*
Paper: I have no idea what the "Heart of the Cards" is, but I am going to write about it anyway. Cards are little slips of cardboard with ink on them. The have no heart. They don't have brains either. They don't have lungs or kidneys or stomachs or pancreases or small intestines or--
Tea: YOU THINK CARDS DON'T HAVE HEARTS???? DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls out a bazooka and blasts the poor kid*
BLAAAAM!!!
Tea: *picks up the next kid's paper*
Paper: Friendship is pointless. It doesn't do anything except stab you in the back. You think you have friends one moment and then - poof - they're gone. Friendship is pointless.
Tea: YOU DISSED FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!! DDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *blasts kid*
BLAAAM!!!!
*next kid*
Paper: You are a Yu-Gi-Oh character. I know because my little brother watches it. Yu-Gi-Oh is the stupidest show on TV. It was created solely to sell the cards and has no real plot at. It is mindless, stupid, boring, idiotic, and dumb. Anyone who watches it should rot in Hell.
TheVoices: YOU DISSED THE ALMIGHTYNESSNESS OF YUGIOH!!!!!! DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grabs Tea's bazooka and blasts him*
YGO Fans: *cheer*
TheVoices: Thank you! Thank you! *bows*
Tea: *gives TheVoices a worried look and picks up TN5's paper*
Paper: The Heart of the Cards is a foolish metaphor created by 4Kids. It does not really exist, rather is just something the evil dubbers use to "kidddy-atize" the show. Those bastards ruined the show! The edited it and changed the plot and got the most ANNOYING people to do the voices and... *continues to rant about the evils of 4Kids*
Tea: YOU DISGRACE US DUB CHARACTERS!!!!!!! DIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to pull the bazooka away from TheVoices*
TheVoices: NOOOOOO!!!!!! My weapon of destruction!!!! *hugs bazooka*
Tea: Fine... Let's see YOUR paper.
Paper: Friendship is made by friends. Friends are those weird people you sit with at lunch and that glare at you until you waste your money buying cookies for them. Friends also follow you around and annoy the crap out of you by gibbering on and on and on and on and on and on and waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle Weevil is just evil with "we" at the beginning waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle ARTICHOKE!!!!!
Tea: ...
TheVoices: *trying to shove the bazooka into her pocket*
Tea: *sigh* I guess you people just don't know what friendship is. I'll just have to explain it.
TN5: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Class: *stare*
TN5: Whaaaat? I HATE friendship rants!
Tea: Then I won't RANT about it. I'll tell a story...
Mary Sue: Oh yeah, like THAT'LL be any better.
Tea: *Ignores her* Once upon a time--
TN5: There was a kid with weird hair? Who solved a freaky gold puzzle? And then was possessed by a 5,000 year old pharaoh?
TheVoices: And then his grandpa got kidnapped? And then "threw friendship and hard work" he saved him? Is that the story? Can I tell the story?
Tea: *vein pop* NO! That's not the story! This story is about a duck!
Mary Sue: ...A duck?
TheVoices: Did it blow up?
Tea: No! It had a nest full of eggs and it couldn't wait for them to hatch.
TN5: OooooOOOOooooOOOOOooooohhh!!!!! I know that one! And then all the eggs hatched but one? And then a gypsy told the ducks that if that one didn't hatch then the world would be conquered by candy corn? Yeah... that was it... and then they all turned purple and little elves descended from the heavens and did a rain dance and then the egg hatched and a chipmunk came out and then the world exploded anyways...
TheVoices: Right! And then the space aliens came and brought the chipmunk to Mars and the jelly fish attacked it and it used it's laser vision to blow them up and the aliens thought it was God and then the universe exploded and was reborn in an alternate world called Xylfghujkdfjbmcnmmcvmtrkri and that's how the Internet came into existence. *Nods knowingly*
Class: *stares at TheVoices and TN5*
Mary Sue: Oh God... Why do I always make friends with all the weird people??
Tea: *stops staring at the two insane girls* No, I'm sorry, that's not how it goes. All the eggs hatched and the ducklings were all REALLY cute and cuddly and adorable and-- *cough, cough* Anyway, they were all lovely except one. The ugly ducking.
Class: *groans*
Tea: All the other ducks made fun of the Ugly Duckling because it was ugly. Now, can you tell me why the duckling was ugly?
Kid: Because... it was really a baby goose?
Tea: NO!!!! Because it didn't have any friends! Not have friends makes you UGLY!!!!!! LIKE KAIBA!!!!
Mary Sue: Kaiba is not ugly! Kaiba was my favorite character until Malik popped up! *sigh* Malik...
Tea: =( NOOOO!!!! Kaiba is INSIGNIFIGANT!!!!!!!!!! *rants about how much she hates Kaiba*
Kaiba Fangirl: *pops up* NOOOOOO!!!! KAIBA IS SUPERIOR!!!!!!!!!!! *throws a shoe at Tea* *disappears*
All: ...
*cricket chirps*
Tea: ...Anywho, the duck was ugly because it didn't have any friends. So it went off to find friends. No one liked the duckling because it was ugly, so they weren't true friends. Then the duck met a gang of beautiful swans who excepted him for who he was. Then the duck slowly turned into one of them and all the animals who wouldn't be his friend before were really jealous. That is why friends are important.
TheVoices: *confused* So... the whole point of having friends is to make people jealous?
Tea: YES!! I mean-- NO! You have friends because they make you beautiful!
TN5: *hopefully* Really?
Tea: Figuratively, yes.
TN5: Aww... *pouts*
Tea: Now, I want you all to REWRITE your papers tonight. Remember: 25,000,000,000 words!
Class: *groan*
Kid: *throws pencil at TN5* THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!
Tea: NO THROWING THINGS IN CLASS!!!!!!!!!!! DIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls out ANOTHER bazooka and blasts him*
TheVoices: HAHA!!
Tea: *glares at TheVoices* And give me my bazooka back!
TheVoices: NEVER!!!!!!!!
Tea: DO IT OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *aims bazooka*
TheVoices: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps up and runs into the wall* @_________@;;;;
Tea: ...
Class: ...
TheVoices: *unconscious*
Tea: *wrenches her bazooka out of TheVoices hands*
Bell: *rings* BUM! BUM! BUUUM!!!!
TheVoices: *hops up like nothing happened*
Class: *grabs their books and runs out*
Tea: Don't forget: FRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEENNNDDDDDSSHHHHHIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5, Mary Sue, TheVoices: v.v;;
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Okay... that wasn't as funny as it could have been, but it'll get better! ^_____^
In case you're wondering, Mary Sue is our friend "Mary Sue of Maryville." I kinda... got her an account without her knowing it. *sweat drop*
NEXT CHAPTER: Science with Yami Bakura (from now on just Bakura)!!!! To give you an idea of what might happen, our real science teacher is infamous for setting a table on fire. ON PURPOSE!! (TheVoices: I wanna be a science teacher!)
Review!! Onegai?
MUTANT MAN-EATING MARSHMALLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chp. 1 - English with Tea and the messed-up story of the ugly duckling
By TheVoices and TypoNumber5 (this chapter by TN5)
A/N: This was SUPPOSED to go under TheVoices account, but she can't log in for unknown reasons, so...
From the creators of "Honey, I Shrunk Yugi!" it's... SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS + YU-GI-OH! = PAAAAIIN!! That's right! The not-so-famous duo of TheVoices and TypoNumber5 is at it again!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *cough* *choke* *hack*
Yeah... Anyway, I don't own YGO.
ON WITH THE FIC!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
~ It was your average Monday morning. Kids mumbled and groaned as they made their way to first period classes. Lockers were kicked and homework ripped as it was clumsily pulled from the students' backpacks. But this story isn't about THEM. It's about US. ~
TN5: *yawn* What is the point of this? *lugging heavy books down the hall*
Mary Sue: *pops up in front of TN5* HIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
TN5: *screams and throws books into the air*
Mary Sue: Are you okay?
TN5: *picking up books* Yes. Fine. Where is my literature book?
Kid: YOU %&*%^ $%^*$% )(^#%&!!!!!!!!!! How DARE you throw a book at me??
TN5: Uh... it was HER! *points to Mary Sue*
Kid: DIE!!!! *throws literature book at Mary Sue*
Mary Sue: *ducks behind the person she was standing front of: TheVoices*
TheVoices: *is hit in the head with the book* X______x *unconscious*
TN5: *HUGE sweat drop*
Mary Sue: Did you just... sweat drop?
TN5: Um... *tries to turn her head to look at the sweat drop* No, I don't think-- wait-- *turning around in circles in attempt to see sweat drop*
Mary Sue: -_-;; *starts kicking TheVoices' body toward the classroom*
TN5: *still turning* I can almost see it-- it's on the edge of my vision-- *trips over stray pencil and knocks over about 10 other people*
*In class*
Mary Sue: *kicking TheVoices towards her desk*
Kid: Um... Sue? Why is TheVoices unconscious?
Mary Sue: Freak literature book accident. *drops books unto her desk and drags TheVoices by the hair over to HER desk*
TN5: *wonders into the room* *yelling over her shoulder* Gomen!! Gomen nasai!!!!
Kids: WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT LANGUAGE, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!
TN5: *sweat drops and attempts to close the classroom door, dropping her books on her foot in the process* Kuso...
Kid: Ha ha!
TN5: *glare*
TheVoices: *groan* Eeehhh... *sits up* Fluffy-chan!!
Kids: *stare*
TN5: *picks up her books... again*
TheVoices: So... whadda we have to do to day?
TN5: *seats herself at her desk* I dunno. There isn't anything written on the board...
Mary Sue: Well... maybe we get one off those "retreat days"? You know, where all we do is read all day long?
TheVoices: ¬_¬ Yeah. Or maybe *insert teacher's name here* is just a lazy bum who forgot to write the assignments on the board again.
Mary Sue: ...Or that.
~ Students began to trickle into the classroom. The place filled with the sound of chattering and loud laughter. The bell signaling the start of another school day rang. Still the noise went on; the teacher was late.
Ten minutes passed. Some began to get antsy. Others were glad they could put off facing their English teacher a little while longer. And then, slowly so that no one noticed, the door opened. Heads turned as a figure stepped into a room. And, surprisingly, that figure was... ~
Tea: Ohayo min'na!!
TheVoices & TN5: *were the only ones who understood that*
Tea: My name is Tea Gardner and I'll be your substitute teacher for today.
All YGO fans in the class: O___________O
Kid: Aren't you a little young to be a teacher?
Tea: No. I trust that everyone is present today?
Class: *nods*
Tea: Good. Today we are going to--
TheVoices: *stands up* STAY BACK, SERVANT OF SATAN!!!!!! *makes cross with fingers*
Tea: ...
Mary Sue: *also stands up* Yeah! Why'd YOU have to come here? What are you planning to do to torture us??
Tea: I'm not--
TheVoices: Don't deny it! You're here to turn us into mindless friendship crazed drones!
TN5: Yeah! You're going to make us write a 50-page essay on friendship or the Heart of the Cards or something!
Tea: Actually, I was just going to have you do a simple worksheet on pronouns and then let you talk for the rest of the period, but that's a good idea.
TN5: ...What?
Tea: Min'na, I want you to write a 25,000,000,000 word essay on either friendship or the Heart of the Cards. This should be completed by the end of the period.
Class: *glares at TN5*
TN5: *sinks down lower into her seat*
~ And so, the class set to work on their essays. However, they spent more time glaring at either TN5 or Tea, so after a few minutes the later decided she needed to get them working harder. ~
Tea: Alright, now I'm going to check your progress. *picks up some kid's paper*
Paper: I have no idea what the "Heart of the Cards" is, but I am going to write about it anyway. Cards are little slips of cardboard with ink on them. The have no heart. They don't have brains either. They don't have lungs or kidneys or stomachs or pancreases or small intestines or--
Tea: YOU THINK CARDS DON'T HAVE HEARTS???? DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls out a bazooka and blasts the poor kid*
BLAAAAM!!!
Tea: *picks up the next kid's paper*
Paper: Friendship is pointless. It doesn't do anything except stab you in the back. You think you have friends one moment and then - poof - they're gone. Friendship is pointless.
Tea: YOU DISSED FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!! DDDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *blasts kid*
BLAAAM!!!!
*next kid*
Paper: You are a Yu-Gi-Oh character. I know because my little brother watches it. Yu-Gi-Oh is the stupidest show on TV. It was created solely to sell the cards and has no real plot at. It is mindless, stupid, boring, idiotic, and dumb. Anyone who watches it should rot in Hell.
TheVoices: YOU DISSED THE ALMIGHTYNESSNESS OF YUGIOH!!!!!! DIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grabs Tea's bazooka and blasts him*
YGO Fans: *cheer*
TheVoices: Thank you! Thank you! *bows*
Tea: *gives TheVoices a worried look and picks up TN5's paper*
Paper: The Heart of the Cards is a foolish metaphor created by 4Kids. It does not really exist, rather is just something the evil dubbers use to "kidddy-atize" the show. Those bastards ruined the show! The edited it and changed the plot and got the most ANNOYING people to do the voices and... *continues to rant about the evils of 4Kids*
Tea: YOU DISGRACE US DUB CHARACTERS!!!!!!! DIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to pull the bazooka away from TheVoices*
TheVoices: NOOOOOO!!!!!! My weapon of destruction!!!! *hugs bazooka*
Tea: Fine... Let's see YOUR paper.
Paper: Friendship is made by friends. Friends are those weird people you sit with at lunch and that glare at you until you waste your money buying cookies for them. Friends also follow you around and annoy the crap out of you by gibbering on and on and on and on and on and on and waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle Weevil is just evil with "we" at the beginning waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle ARTICHOKE!!!!!
Tea: ...
TheVoices: *trying to shove the bazooka into her pocket*
Tea: *sigh* I guess you people just don't know what friendship is. I'll just have to explain it.
TN5: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Class: *stare*
TN5: Whaaaat? I HATE friendship rants!
Tea: Then I won't RANT about it. I'll tell a story...
Mary Sue: Oh yeah, like THAT'LL be any better.
Tea: *Ignores her* Once upon a time--
TN5: There was a kid with weird hair? Who solved a freaky gold puzzle? And then was possessed by a 5,000 year old pharaoh?
TheVoices: And then his grandpa got kidnapped? And then "threw friendship and hard work" he saved him? Is that the story? Can I tell the story?
Tea: *vein pop* NO! That's not the story! This story is about a duck!
Mary Sue: ...A duck?
TheVoices: Did it blow up?
Tea: No! It had a nest full of eggs and it couldn't wait for them to hatch.
TN5: OooooOOOOooooOOOOOooooohhh!!!!! I know that one! And then all the eggs hatched but one? And then a gypsy told the ducks that if that one didn't hatch then the world would be conquered by candy corn? Yeah... that was it... and then they all turned purple and little elves descended from the heavens and did a rain dance and then the egg hatched and a chipmunk came out and then the world exploded anyways...
TheVoices: Right! And then the space aliens came and brought the chipmunk to Mars and the jelly fish attacked it and it used it's laser vision to blow them up and the aliens thought it was God and then the universe exploded and was reborn in an alternate world called Xylfghujkdfjbmcnmmcvmtrkri and that's how the Internet came into existence. *Nods knowingly*
Class: *stares at TheVoices and TN5*
Mary Sue: Oh God... Why do I always make friends with all the weird people??
Tea: *stops staring at the two insane girls* No, I'm sorry, that's not how it goes. All the eggs hatched and the ducklings were all REALLY cute and cuddly and adorable and-- *cough, cough* Anyway, they were all lovely except one. The ugly ducking.
Class: *groans*
Tea: All the other ducks made fun of the Ugly Duckling because it was ugly. Now, can you tell me why the duckling was ugly?
Kid: Because... it was really a baby goose?
Tea: NO!!!! Because it didn't have any friends! Not have friends makes you UGLY!!!!!! LIKE KAIBA!!!!
Mary Sue: Kaiba is not ugly! Kaiba was my favorite character until Malik popped up! *sigh* Malik...
Tea: =( NOOOO!!!! Kaiba is INSIGNIFIGANT!!!!!!!!!! *rants about how much she hates Kaiba*
Kaiba Fangirl: *pops up* NOOOOOO!!!! KAIBA IS SUPERIOR!!!!!!!!!!! *throws a shoe at Tea* *disappears*
All: ...
*cricket chirps*
Tea: ...Anywho, the duck was ugly because it didn't have any friends. So it went off to find friends. No one liked the duckling because it was ugly, so they weren't true friends. Then the duck met a gang of beautiful swans who excepted him for who he was. Then the duck slowly turned into one of them and all the animals who wouldn't be his friend before were really jealous. That is why friends are important.
TheVoices: *confused* So... the whole point of having friends is to make people jealous?
Tea: YES!! I mean-- NO! You have friends because they make you beautiful!
TN5: *hopefully* Really?
Tea: Figuratively, yes.
TN5: Aww... *pouts*
Tea: Now, I want you all to REWRITE your papers tonight. Remember: 25,000,000,000 words!
Class: *groan*
Kid: *throws pencil at TN5* THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!
Tea: NO THROWING THINGS IN CLASS!!!!!!!!!!! DIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls out ANOTHER bazooka and blasts him*
TheVoices: HAHA!!
Tea: *glares at TheVoices* And give me my bazooka back!
TheVoices: NEVER!!!!!!!!
Tea: DO IT OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *aims bazooka*
TheVoices: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps up and runs into the wall* @_________@;;;;
Tea: ...
Class: ...
TheVoices: *unconscious*
Tea: *wrenches her bazooka out of TheVoices hands*
Bell: *rings* BUM! BUM! BUUUM!!!!
TheVoices: *hops up like nothing happened*
Class: *grabs their books and runs out*
Tea: Don't forget: FRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEENNNDDDDDSSHHHHHIIIIIIIPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TN5, Mary Sue, TheVoices: v.v;;
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Okay... that wasn't as funny as it could have been, but it'll get better! ^_____^
In case you're wondering, Mary Sue is our friend "Mary Sue of Maryville." I kinda... got her an account without her knowing it. *sweat drop*
NEXT CHAPTER: Science with Yami Bakura (from now on just Bakura)!!!! To give you an idea of what might happen, our real science teacher is infamous for setting a table on fire. ON PURPOSE!! (TheVoices: I wanna be a science teacher!)
Review!! Onegai?
MUTANT MAN-EATING MARSHMALLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!