Scene Three: Midday the next day, in the kitchen at Elizabeth's house
Elizabeth: (waltzes in) Have you heard? The prince is having a sleepover!
Melanie: (interrupts scrubbing to stare at stepmother) A WHAT?
Elizabeth: (rolls eyes) You know, everyone brings sleeping bags, although no one sleeps; they stay up all night--
Melanie: I know what a sleepover is. I was just temporarily too disgusted to believe my ears.
Katie: (dramatically) But what pajamas do I have that are fancy enough for a royal sleepover?
Jessica: You can borrow my red silk pajamas if you want...
Katie: (snorts) Um, like, red is sooo last week. Pink is the new red!
Jessica: Duh. That's why I'm wearing my pink silk pajamas!
Elizabeth: Girls, girls, don't fight. I'll buy you both new orange silk pajamas. In case you've forgotten, pink is sooo two days ago. Orange is the new pink! Then I'll get myself some blue ones. I've heard that blue is going to be the new orange!
Jessica: I want blue too!
Melanie: What will I wear?
(The others snicker)
Elizabeth: What makes you think you're invited?
Melanie: Well, for one thing, "Everyone is invited" is printed in very large letters on that invitation in your hand.
Elizabeth: (unfazed) All right, you can go...if you can find something decent to wear...something besides that long T-shirt and flannel pants. Otherwise, you'll disgrace us all.
Melanie: And orange silk pajamas wouldn't disgrace you? (Elizabeth glares) All right, all right, I can take a hint. (goes to her room) As dumb as that sleepover sounds, I can't miss it--people will forget I exist. Not that anyone knows...(contemplates) Well, I need to get out of the house. I HAVE to find something to wear!
A voice in the room: I think I can help...
Melanie: Who said that? (looks around)
Voice: Over here...
Melanie: (turns to her rat cage) JOE?
Joe: (waves) Hi Melanie!
Melanie: (takes several deep breaths, and talks slowly) Why is my rat talking to me?
Joe: It's a scientific fact that rats develop speech skills after two years of human contact.
Melanie: It IS?
Joe: Nah, it just sounded cool when I said it. Anyway, my fellow rats and I will be perfectly willing to make your pajamas...trouble is, we need some silk.
Melanie: How am I supposed to get silk?
Sibilant voices: I think we can help...
Melanie: (turns) SILKWORMS? OKAY, silkworms can't even squeak, so how can you TALK?
Silkworms: Your fairy godmother taught us.
Melanie: I HAVE A FAIRY GODMOTHER?
Joe: Nice job, you imbeciles. That was supposed to be a surprise.
Melanie: Okay, okay. I'm hallucinating. I'm going to close my eyes and count to five, and when I open them, you silkworms are going to be gone, and Joe, you are NOT going to be talking. GOT IT? (glares around, closes eyes) One...two...three...four...five! (opens eyes) Good, everything is NORMAL. Now I just have to get some pajamas somehow...(slaps forehead) WAIT A SECOND! I just refused help! What's wrong with me? I NEED HELP WITH THESE PAJAMAS!
Joe: Too late...you offended us...
Melanie: (snaps back) SHUT IT, YOU!
Melanie: (interrupts scrubbing to stare at stepmother) A WHAT?
Elizabeth: (rolls eyes) You know, everyone brings sleeping bags, although no one sleeps; they stay up all night--
Melanie: I know what a sleepover is. I was just temporarily too disgusted to believe my ears.
Katie: (dramatically) But what pajamas do I have that are fancy enough for a royal sleepover?
Jessica: You can borrow my red silk pajamas if you want...
Katie: (snorts) Um, like, red is sooo last week. Pink is the new red!
Jessica: Duh. That's why I'm wearing my pink silk pajamas!
Elizabeth: Girls, girls, don't fight. I'll buy you both new orange silk pajamas. In case you've forgotten, pink is sooo two days ago. Orange is the new pink! Then I'll get myself some blue ones. I've heard that blue is going to be the new orange!
Jessica: I want blue too!
Melanie: What will I wear?
(The others snicker)
Elizabeth: What makes you think you're invited?
Melanie: Well, for one thing, "Everyone is invited" is printed in very large letters on that invitation in your hand.
Elizabeth: (unfazed) All right, you can go...if you can find something decent to wear...something besides that long T-shirt and flannel pants. Otherwise, you'll disgrace us all.
Melanie: And orange silk pajamas wouldn't disgrace you? (Elizabeth glares) All right, all right, I can take a hint. (goes to her room) As dumb as that sleepover sounds, I can't miss it--people will forget I exist. Not that anyone knows...(contemplates) Well, I need to get out of the house. I HAVE to find something to wear!
A voice in the room: I think I can help...
Melanie: Who said that? (looks around)
Voice: Over here...
Melanie: (turns to her rat cage) JOE?
Joe: (waves) Hi Melanie!
Melanie: (takes several deep breaths, and talks slowly) Why is my rat talking to me?
Joe: It's a scientific fact that rats develop speech skills after two years of human contact.
Melanie: It IS?
Joe: Nah, it just sounded cool when I said it. Anyway, my fellow rats and I will be perfectly willing to make your pajamas...trouble is, we need some silk.
Melanie: How am I supposed to get silk?
Sibilant voices: I think we can help...
Melanie: (turns) SILKWORMS? OKAY, silkworms can't even squeak, so how can you TALK?
Silkworms: Your fairy godmother taught us.
Melanie: I HAVE A FAIRY GODMOTHER?
Joe: Nice job, you imbeciles. That was supposed to be a surprise.
Melanie: Okay, okay. I'm hallucinating. I'm going to close my eyes and count to five, and when I open them, you silkworms are going to be gone, and Joe, you are NOT going to be talking. GOT IT? (glares around, closes eyes) One...two...three...four...five! (opens eyes) Good, everything is NORMAL. Now I just have to get some pajamas somehow...(slaps forehead) WAIT A SECOND! I just refused help! What's wrong with me? I NEED HELP WITH THESE PAJAMAS!
Joe: Too late...you offended us...
Melanie: (snaps back) SHUT IT, YOU!