The Silent Hill 3 Spoof
Chapter 1: The Quit Town, Silent Hill.
Disclaimer: All characters in this story are own by Konami, not me.
We are opened to a shot of Silent Hill. We see Heather walking down a foggy street to the Blue Creek Apartment complex. She is wearing the same old, same old. She has her flash light on.
Heather(narrator): Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. I came back here, cause this is where I was born. And I wanted to come to a calm, boring place. Some where I don't have to worry about "monsters." Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. Until that woman came.
Heather continues walking down the street. We see a light behind Heather, which is followed by noises of a motor. Heather looks back to see what it is. She can't see, it's too foggy.
Heather:(confused) What is that?
A woman on a motorcycle drives by really fast.
Heather(still confused): Well that was odd.
Heather continues her walk down the street. And comes upon a wreckage of a motorcycle. With a woman lying on the ground beside it. Heather runs to the woman.
Heather: Uhhh.....are you okay?
The woman doesn't answer. She seems knocked out.
Heather: Uhhh...stay there, I will call an ambulance.
Woman: Wait!! No ambulance needed(gets up) This was just a test
Heather: Test?
Woman: Yeah, something like a test. I wanted a closer look at your head.
Heather: My head?
Woman: Yeah it looks like the one I am looking for.
The woman is dressed in a red shirt with a black skirt. She wears black boots, and she has shortly cut blond hair.
Heather:(confused, once again) You where looking for my head?
Woman: You can say that.
The woman goes to her wrecked bike, and takes out a long rusty pipe.
Heather: What are you planning to do with that?
Woman: In order to see if it's the right head, I must do this.....
The woman swings, and hits Heather right in the forehead. Heather goes spinning in the air, and land on her ass. She is knocked out, with a bit of drool coming out of her mouth.
Woman: Hmmmm, did that work?
Heather suddenly awakes, holding her head.
Heather:(pissed) OUCH!!!!!! Why the Hell did you hit me!!!!!????
Woman: Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?
Heather: What? Are you making fun of me!? I don't need an ambulance, I'm just going home!
Heather gets up, dazed, and starts walking past the woman, until the woman fades away into the fog.
Heather: Damn woman, what the hell is wrong with her?
Heather walks into the apartment complex, and down the hall. She stops at a door, and opens it with a key. Strangely enough the apartment looks nearly the same as her old one. She walks into her living room. And sees, who else but Douglas, and Vincent sitting there.
Heather: What the hell are you guys doing here!?
Vincent:(with a smile on his face) Now, now Alessia, that's no way to talk to your father.
Heather:(confused, yet again) What!? Your not my father, and my name is Heather!
Douglas: Sit down Heather, you need to relax, and let old grandpa tell you a story.
Heather: Your not my Grandpa!!
Vincent: Why are you yelling? (pushes up glasses) Everyone knows, that yelling is rude.
Douglas: Yeah Heather, you know that.
Heather: What are you guys talking about, and you still didn't answer my first question.
Vincent: Your being silly Heather, we always have lived here.
Heather: Uhhh...what?
Douglas: You know those magazines in your room? Well, if you don't mind me saying, you have good taste.
Vincent: I wouldn't have thought my own daughter would be a lesbian. For shame Heather.
Heather: I'm not lesbian, and those aren't mine. And you aren't my FATHER!!!!!
Vincent: Come sit, Heather. We can talk about your day. And that bump on your head.
Heather:(I know I shouldn't, but it wouldn't hurt would it) Fine.
Heather sits in the middle of the room.
Heather: So I was walking down this street, and this woman comes and crashes on her motorcycle, and she comes and hit me in the head with a pipe.
Vincent: It sounds like your are sexually active.
Heather: What the hell does that have to do with anything!?
Vincent: Nothing Heather, nothing.
Douglas: I wanted to bring the issue up about your "look," Heather
Heather: What about my "look?"
Vincent: Well Heather, you look like a dirty crack whore with lesbian tendencies.
Heather: I'M NOT LESBIAN!!!! And I look fine.
Vincent: How do you know, you don't look into mirrors.
Heather: Uhhhh..
Douglas: And besides we get mail all the time, about your looks.
Heather: Mail, what mail?
Vincent: Here is one.
Dear Heather,
You would look a hell of a lot better, if you took a bath.
sincerely- Stanley
Heather: Well I'll admit, I may stink, but why do people care all that much.
Vincent: Because, Heather, main female characters are supposed to look hot.
Heather: Main character?
Douglas: You could also be a little bit more perky in the chest area.
Heather:(holds her breast) Hey!!! Leave them out of this. They look fine.
Vincent: If you want to be cool with the fans, then you must be clean and perky.
Heather: Well I could stand to take a bath. But this is all a little embarrassing.
Douglas: Well we didn't want to say anything, but the way you where going, you were just going to get worse.
Heather: I guess I will go take a bath, then.
Heather gets up, and goes to her room, while Vincent and Douglas chat. Heather takes her boots off. And immediately is turned off by her own smell. She takes her jacket vest off, and then the rest of her cloths. She puts a towel on, and goes to her bathroom. She turns the water on. And the world around her turns into the hell world, she is so familiar with. She sighs, and hits the wall with her hand a couple of times, and like a flickering light, the hell world turns back to regular.
She takes her towel off. The "view," pans down her back slowly, we see a "insert here" tattoo, with a arrow pointing down, on her lower back.. And then we get a good shot of her ass(for all those Heather fans out there). She gets into the bath tub. And begins soaping herself down. Half an hour later, she gets out, gets dry. And puts a bandage over her bump. Now she is wearing a white t-shirt that reveals her belly button. It say "Ambulance." She wears flannel sweat sleeping pants. And some white socks. (I'm sure you Heather fans, love description). Her hair doesn't look dirty anymore. She doesn't have the dirty look, anymore. And the redness around her eyes are gone. She brushed her teeth too.
Heather(narrator): Even though it is weird that they are in my home, I'm kind of glad. I was lonely here by myself. After all nothing interesting happens here.
Heather: I feel a lot better. I'm sure they will be pleased with my new look.
Heather walks into the living room again, only to see Vincent, Douglas, and the woman from before chatting it up.
Heather: What the hell are you doing here!!!!(pointing at the woman)
Vincent: Screaming again, Heather? You know it's rude, we have a guest.
Heather:(rubs her head) Ummm sorry, but what are you doing here, and why did you hit me in the head
Douglas: She has a name you know. It's, Maria.
Maria: Hey Heather, it looks like you have cleaned yourself up.
Heather: Why are you not answering my question.
Heather notices that Vincent has a bandage on his head too.
Heather: What happen to you.
Vincent: Well I was going for a walk, and Maria, ran me over with her motorcycle. Bringing her back with me, was the least I could do after being so rude.
Heather: That doesn't make any since.
Douglas: Neither does your lack of brain Heather.
Heather: What was that!?
Vincent: come and sit, and we can talk.
Heather comes over and sits on the ground.
Maria: How was your day Heather.
Heather: would you stop acting like you didn't do something! Tell me why you hit my head.
Maria: Cause you are sexually active.
Heather: What does that have to do with it.
Maria: You will see in do time.
Heather: Your starting to make me mad.
Vincent: Stop being rude Heather.
Heather: Would you stop acting like my father.
Douglas: Hey, Heather why wont you go to your room, and let us adults chats.
Heather: That's fine, I don't want to talk to you guys anyways.
Heather gets up and goes to her room, she takes one of her dolls off her dresser, and flops down on her bed
Heather: I don't know what the hell is up with all of this, but it's nice to be around other people, even if it doesn't make since. (holds her head) OUCH!!!! my head. It hurts so much. Damn Maria! It's hurting a little too much.
Heather sits up on her bed, holding her head.
Heather: Something isn't right here.
Heather bandage begins to bulge, and blood begins to stain it.
Heather: AHHHHHH!!!!!!! (tries to hold head) AHHHHHHH!!!!
The bulge grows, and the bandage comes off. Blood spews everywhere. A bloody gloved hand comes out. And then a arm, then another arm. A head comes out, and begins to shake and spas out. There is no face on this beast. It begins pulling itself out. Soon a giant hand is seen grabbing the being coming out of Heather head. The being comes out, and the hand is revealed to be apart of a giant arm torn off of some kind of beast. Heather falls back onto her bed.
Remarkably with no wound, nor blood on her head. The being with no face, begins to fight the hand. He grabs the bloody veins coming out the end of the arm, and swings the hand into the ceiling, and bangs it back down onto the ground. He then jumps into the air and punches into the middle of the hand. Blood spews everywhere. He begins to tear it apart. Just then, Maria, with her pipe comes in and jumps into the air. She smashes the faceless being in the back of the head with the pipe, knocking it out. Soon we see Heather waking up in her room, with an ice pack on her head.
Heather:(takes ice pack off) What happen, why is there blood every where?
Heather gets up and walks into the living room. She see Maria, Vincent, and Douglas, sitting and chatting. She then sees the faceless being with a apron on. He has two trays, with three glasses, two on one, and one on the other. He sits them down, and returns to the kitchen.
Heather: What the Hell is that!!!!!???
Vincent: Heather, yelling again?
Heather: Oh sorry, who is that?
Maria: That thing came out of your head. He saved you. His name is Valtiel.
Heather: Valtiel? That's a weird name. Why is he doing that.
Douglas: He likes to serve us.
Maria: Now we know your head works.
Heather:(rubs head) Uh yeah, head.
Valtiel craws on the wall toward heather, and gives her a glass of water.
Heather:(puts on fake smile) Thanks.
She walks back into her bloody room.
Heather:(narrator) That strange Maria. Things coming out of my head? Vincent, Douglas. Weird, but not all that interesting. The town of Silent Hill isn't all that interesting. (She sits on her bed back with her doll, and turns on the television.) At least I'm not lonely anymore.
Heather slowly drifts off. Thus begins the series, "The Silent Hill Spoof."
Chapter 1: The Quit Town, Silent Hill.
Disclaimer: All characters in this story are own by Konami, not me.
We are opened to a shot of Silent Hill. We see Heather walking down a foggy street to the Blue Creek Apartment complex. She is wearing the same old, same old. She has her flash light on.
Heather(narrator): Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. I came back here, cause this is where I was born. And I wanted to come to a calm, boring place. Some where I don't have to worry about "monsters." Nothing interesting happens in Silent Hill. Until that woman came.
Heather continues walking down the street. We see a light behind Heather, which is followed by noises of a motor. Heather looks back to see what it is. She can't see, it's too foggy.
Heather:(confused) What is that?
A woman on a motorcycle drives by really fast.
Heather(still confused): Well that was odd.
Heather continues her walk down the street. And comes upon a wreckage of a motorcycle. With a woman lying on the ground beside it. Heather runs to the woman.
Heather: Uhhh.....are you okay?
The woman doesn't answer. She seems knocked out.
Heather: Uhhh...stay there, I will call an ambulance.
Woman: Wait!! No ambulance needed(gets up) This was just a test
Heather: Test?
Woman: Yeah, something like a test. I wanted a closer look at your head.
Heather: My head?
Woman: Yeah it looks like the one I am looking for.
The woman is dressed in a red shirt with a black skirt. She wears black boots, and she has shortly cut blond hair.
Heather:(confused, once again) You where looking for my head?
Woman: You can say that.
The woman goes to her wrecked bike, and takes out a long rusty pipe.
Heather: What are you planning to do with that?
Woman: In order to see if it's the right head, I must do this.....
The woman swings, and hits Heather right in the forehead. Heather goes spinning in the air, and land on her ass. She is knocked out, with a bit of drool coming out of her mouth.
Woman: Hmmmm, did that work?
Heather suddenly awakes, holding her head.
Heather:(pissed) OUCH!!!!!! Why the Hell did you hit me!!!!!????
Woman: Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?
Heather: What? Are you making fun of me!? I don't need an ambulance, I'm just going home!
Heather gets up, dazed, and starts walking past the woman, until the woman fades away into the fog.
Heather: Damn woman, what the hell is wrong with her?
Heather walks into the apartment complex, and down the hall. She stops at a door, and opens it with a key. Strangely enough the apartment looks nearly the same as her old one. She walks into her living room. And sees, who else but Douglas, and Vincent sitting there.
Heather: What the hell are you guys doing here!?
Vincent:(with a smile on his face) Now, now Alessia, that's no way to talk to your father.
Heather:(confused, yet again) What!? Your not my father, and my name is Heather!
Douglas: Sit down Heather, you need to relax, and let old grandpa tell you a story.
Heather: Your not my Grandpa!!
Vincent: Why are you yelling? (pushes up glasses) Everyone knows, that yelling is rude.
Douglas: Yeah Heather, you know that.
Heather: What are you guys talking about, and you still didn't answer my first question.
Vincent: Your being silly Heather, we always have lived here.
Heather: Uhhh...what?
Douglas: You know those magazines in your room? Well, if you don't mind me saying, you have good taste.
Vincent: I wouldn't have thought my own daughter would be a lesbian. For shame Heather.
Heather: I'm not lesbian, and those aren't mine. And you aren't my FATHER!!!!!
Vincent: Come sit, Heather. We can talk about your day. And that bump on your head.
Heather:(I know I shouldn't, but it wouldn't hurt would it) Fine.
Heather sits in the middle of the room.
Heather: So I was walking down this street, and this woman comes and crashes on her motorcycle, and she comes and hit me in the head with a pipe.
Vincent: It sounds like your are sexually active.
Heather: What the hell does that have to do with anything!?
Vincent: Nothing Heather, nothing.
Douglas: I wanted to bring the issue up about your "look," Heather
Heather: What about my "look?"
Vincent: Well Heather, you look like a dirty crack whore with lesbian tendencies.
Heather: I'M NOT LESBIAN!!!! And I look fine.
Vincent: How do you know, you don't look into mirrors.
Heather: Uhhhh..
Douglas: And besides we get mail all the time, about your looks.
Heather: Mail, what mail?
Vincent: Here is one.
Dear Heather,
You would look a hell of a lot better, if you took a bath.
sincerely- Stanley
Heather: Well I'll admit, I may stink, but why do people care all that much.
Vincent: Because, Heather, main female characters are supposed to look hot.
Heather: Main character?
Douglas: You could also be a little bit more perky in the chest area.
Heather:(holds her breast) Hey!!! Leave them out of this. They look fine.
Vincent: If you want to be cool with the fans, then you must be clean and perky.
Heather: Well I could stand to take a bath. But this is all a little embarrassing.
Douglas: Well we didn't want to say anything, but the way you where going, you were just going to get worse.
Heather: I guess I will go take a bath, then.
Heather gets up, and goes to her room, while Vincent and Douglas chat. Heather takes her boots off. And immediately is turned off by her own smell. She takes her jacket vest off, and then the rest of her cloths. She puts a towel on, and goes to her bathroom. She turns the water on. And the world around her turns into the hell world, she is so familiar with. She sighs, and hits the wall with her hand a couple of times, and like a flickering light, the hell world turns back to regular.
She takes her towel off. The "view," pans down her back slowly, we see a "insert here" tattoo, with a arrow pointing down, on her lower back.. And then we get a good shot of her ass(for all those Heather fans out there). She gets into the bath tub. And begins soaping herself down. Half an hour later, she gets out, gets dry. And puts a bandage over her bump. Now she is wearing a white t-shirt that reveals her belly button. It say "Ambulance." She wears flannel sweat sleeping pants. And some white socks. (I'm sure you Heather fans, love description). Her hair doesn't look dirty anymore. She doesn't have the dirty look, anymore. And the redness around her eyes are gone. She brushed her teeth too.
Heather(narrator): Even though it is weird that they are in my home, I'm kind of glad. I was lonely here by myself. After all nothing interesting happens here.
Heather: I feel a lot better. I'm sure they will be pleased with my new look.
Heather walks into the living room again, only to see Vincent, Douglas, and the woman from before chatting it up.
Heather: What the hell are you doing here!!!!(pointing at the woman)
Vincent: Screaming again, Heather? You know it's rude, we have a guest.
Heather:(rubs her head) Ummm sorry, but what are you doing here, and why did you hit me in the head
Douglas: She has a name you know. It's, Maria.
Maria: Hey Heather, it looks like you have cleaned yourself up.
Heather: Why are you not answering my question.
Heather notices that Vincent has a bandage on his head too.
Heather: What happen to you.
Vincent: Well I was going for a walk, and Maria, ran me over with her motorcycle. Bringing her back with me, was the least I could do after being so rude.
Heather: That doesn't make any since.
Douglas: Neither does your lack of brain Heather.
Heather: What was that!?
Vincent: come and sit, and we can talk.
Heather comes over and sits on the ground.
Maria: How was your day Heather.
Heather: would you stop acting like you didn't do something! Tell me why you hit my head.
Maria: Cause you are sexually active.
Heather: What does that have to do with it.
Maria: You will see in do time.
Heather: Your starting to make me mad.
Vincent: Stop being rude Heather.
Heather: Would you stop acting like my father.
Douglas: Hey, Heather why wont you go to your room, and let us adults chats.
Heather: That's fine, I don't want to talk to you guys anyways.
Heather gets up and goes to her room, she takes one of her dolls off her dresser, and flops down on her bed
Heather: I don't know what the hell is up with all of this, but it's nice to be around other people, even if it doesn't make since. (holds her head) OUCH!!!! my head. It hurts so much. Damn Maria! It's hurting a little too much.
Heather sits up on her bed, holding her head.
Heather: Something isn't right here.
Heather bandage begins to bulge, and blood begins to stain it.
Heather: AHHHHHH!!!!!!! (tries to hold head) AHHHHHHH!!!!
The bulge grows, and the bandage comes off. Blood spews everywhere. A bloody gloved hand comes out. And then a arm, then another arm. A head comes out, and begins to shake and spas out. There is no face on this beast. It begins pulling itself out. Soon a giant hand is seen grabbing the being coming out of Heather head. The being comes out, and the hand is revealed to be apart of a giant arm torn off of some kind of beast. Heather falls back onto her bed.
Remarkably with no wound, nor blood on her head. The being with no face, begins to fight the hand. He grabs the bloody veins coming out the end of the arm, and swings the hand into the ceiling, and bangs it back down onto the ground. He then jumps into the air and punches into the middle of the hand. Blood spews everywhere. He begins to tear it apart. Just then, Maria, with her pipe comes in and jumps into the air. She smashes the faceless being in the back of the head with the pipe, knocking it out. Soon we see Heather waking up in her room, with an ice pack on her head.
Heather:(takes ice pack off) What happen, why is there blood every where?
Heather gets up and walks into the living room. She see Maria, Vincent, and Douglas, sitting and chatting. She then sees the faceless being with a apron on. He has two trays, with three glasses, two on one, and one on the other. He sits them down, and returns to the kitchen.
Heather: What the Hell is that!!!!!???
Vincent: Heather, yelling again?
Heather: Oh sorry, who is that?
Maria: That thing came out of your head. He saved you. His name is Valtiel.
Heather: Valtiel? That's a weird name. Why is he doing that.
Douglas: He likes to serve us.
Maria: Now we know your head works.
Heather:(rubs head) Uh yeah, head.
Valtiel craws on the wall toward heather, and gives her a glass of water.
Heather:(puts on fake smile) Thanks.
She walks back into her bloody room.
Heather:(narrator) That strange Maria. Things coming out of my head? Vincent, Douglas. Weird, but not all that interesting. The town of Silent Hill isn't all that interesting. (She sits on her bed back with her doll, and turns on the television.) At least I'm not lonely anymore.
Heather slowly drifts off. Thus begins the series, "The Silent Hill Spoof."