Part 2: Next of Kin (2 days earlier)

Lee brought his hand up to the white painted door and froze, steeling himself for the coming ordeal. The pain he felt inside was indescribable and now he would be the cause of pain for three more. Billy had volunteered to break the news of Amanda's death, but Lee had argued that it was his responsibility. He had told Billy the secret then. Billy was stunned as he realized just how much Lee had lost when Amanda was killed. He had lost not only his partner, but his wife. Lee stared at his fist, willing himself to knock, when suddenly the door flew open and a mini whirlwind of boys nearly knocked him down.

"Oh man, Lee, we're sorry," said the older of the two, Philip King, as he bent down to retrieve the basketball he had dropped after running into Lee.

Jamie pushed his glasses up and squinted at Lee, adding, "Yeah, sorry. Mom's not home, but Grandma's in the kitchen."

"Hey, we're going to the school gym to shoot some hoops. Want to come with us? We'll even spot you a few points," Philip teased, reminding Lee of the last time they had played ball together. Jamie and Philip had teamed up against him, slaughtering him in the process, making him feel every one of his 37 years.

Love for his two young stepsons overwhelmed him and using all his resources, he successfully covered the emotions threatening to erupt. Swallowing hard, he reached out to Jamie and tousled his hair, then thumped Philip on the back. "Not this time, guys. I still haven't recovered from our last game. Besides, I need to talk to your grandmother."

"Well, we'll be at the school if you feel like getting back at us," Philip grinned up at him. And with that, they were gone, tossing the ball between them as they flew down the sidewalk.

Lee took the couple of steps that brought him into the house. The house was the same, yet different. It felt so lifeless without her. He glanced at the stairs, half-expecting Amanda to be walking down them, waiting for her sweet voice to welcome him in. He nearly lost it as it hit him again that he would never again hear her call him sweetheart, never feel her slender fingers entwine with his, never feel her soft lips press against his. Blocking out the pain, he called out, "Dotty, it's me, Lee. Philip and Jamie let me in."

"Lee, I'm in the kitchen, so just make yourself at home. I'm just getting some tea. Would you like anything?"

Stepping into the den, Lee looked around, tears filling his eyes as he thought about all the love now missing from the house. He called out, "No thanks, Dotty. I'm fine." He couldn't sit, so he paced the room in long strides.

"Amanda's not home," Dotty said as she walked into the den, carrying a mug of steaming tea. Seeing him she was immediately concerned. "Lee, dear, what's wrong?" Looking at him closely, she saw his great sorrow and the tender sympathy for her in his eyes, and somehow she knew. She collapsed onto the couch, spilling her tea onto the carpet, staring up at him in horror.

Lee sat next to her and surrounded her slight frame with his arms, gathering her close. Slowly, gently, he whispered, "I'm sorry, Dotty, but I have some bad news. It's Amanda."

"NO," Dotty said forcefully. "NO!"

"Dotty, Amanda is dead," he choked out, the tears he had successfully suppressed for so long, finally flowing down his face. "She was killed today, in the line of duty."

For several minutes, neither one said anything as they cried together. Finally, Dotty pushed back from Lee, her eyes still brimming with tears, and with a voice choked with emotion asked, "What happened, Lee? And, what do you mean in the line of duty? Since when is working for a film company considered dangerous work? I don't understand any of this."

Lee took her hands in his and replied, "Dotty, I need to tell you something about Amanda that she had to keep secret from you. She didn't work for a film company. I don't work for a film company. Dotty, Amanda was an intelligence operative, as am I, and she's been working for the government as my partner."

Dotty stared at him in disbelief. "My baby's a spy? No, she couldn't keep anything like that from me. She doesn't lie, Lee!"

"Oh, Dotty, if you only knew how hard it was for her. She wanted to tell you, but she took an oath that she wouldn't reveal it. I'm breaking my oath right now, but I thought you deserved the truth from me, especially since I blame myself for her death."

"What do you mean, you blame yourself? Were you there, Lee?" Then softly, her voice cracking, she added, "Did she suffer?"

Lee shook his head, "No, I wasn't there. I wish to hell I had been. Maybe I could have done something." Lee swallowed hard and continued, "Dotty, it was quick. I understand she didn't feel anything. As for why I blame myself, I'm the one who recruited her as an agent, so it's my fault she was in that situation. I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

"Lee, I know you loved my daughter. She loved you, too. You made her happy." She squeezed his hands, comfortingly, and began to cry again.

Quietly, Lee replied, "Yeah, I loved her; she was my whole life." Taking a deep breath, he went on, "Which brings me to something else you need to know. Amanda and I were married nearly a year ago. She's my wife." Lee paused at Dotty's sharp intake of breath, before continuing, "We didn't tell you because we were trying to protect you and the boys. Public acknowledgment of our marriage would have made all of you targets."

Angrily, she replied, "So instead, she was the target."

Lee sighed deeply. "Dotty, I understand your anger, and I'll understand if you never forgive me. But you have to know I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat. I wish I could have kept her shielded from the danger, but Amanda was damn good at her job, and she died doing that job."

"Oh, Lee, what are we going to do without her?" Dotty cried.

Lee hugged her, and answered, "Truthfully, Dotty, I don't know. I just don't know."

Suddenly, Dotty wailed aloud, "Philip and Jamie! How am I going to tell the boys? Lee, what do I tell them? "

"Dotty, if you want, I'll stay here with you until they come back, and I'll break the news. But, if you'd rather never see me again, I'll leave now."

"Please stay, Lee. Amanda loved you, and I know Philip and Jamie love you. I might not understand the reasons she kept her life a secret from me, but I've always respected her decisions. We're family, Lee."

Lee smiled through the glint of tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Dotty. I'm proud to be part of this family, and I love each one of you, too. I just wish I had had more opportunities to show it."

Soberly, Dotty asked, "Lee, what can you tell me about Amanda's death? I really need to know."

Lee sat back and sighed. "I'll tell you as much as I know." With that he closed his eyes and thought back to that morning, when his life had changed forever.