Colossus
A FanFic by Sheik
See chapter one. Yeah.
Well, I got the chapter situation worked out. Instead of chapters four and five being the same exact thing, THIS is chapter five! Yay!
Oh, and---
REVIEW!
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
(As the show opens, we see a large maze of adobe buildings all linked together. A troop of all-female guards clad in deep crimson walk to and fro all over the grounds. At the very top of the huge complex stands a lone woman with bright red hair, her white clothes contrasting sharply with her dark, tanned skin. Gold jewelry gleams on her arm and neck in the brilliant sunset. The camera zooms in on her, then rotates for a beautiful profile shot against a stunning sunset.)
Female Voice: We have been here for years. We survive in the desert where no one else can. But all things must change, like the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon. For the first time in Gerudo history, outsiders will pass the haunted wastelands and into the Desert Colossus to participate in a contest of wit, endurance, and skills. But this is no adventure. It is a competition. A game. And only the last to leave can truly call themselves:
Survivor.
(Eerie music starts, kind of like a remix of the Gerudo Valley song and the Gerudo's Hideout song with some ocarina playing mixed in. We see a shot of the Desert Colossus, with two different camps: one on each side, but equidistant from the Desert Oasis; now dancing in clear, crystalline water. The song ends, and we Nabooru standing on the steps of the Spirit Temple. The camera zooms in on her and she addresses the camera. )
Nabooru: Hello, and welcome back to Colossus: The Hylian Survival adventure! In our show, contestants must have strategy, endurance, and strength in order to win the show and be called the TRUE Colossus Survivor. To bad none of our contestants fit that description!
Contestants (Voices): HEY!!!
Nabooru: WHAT?! Its true!
Link (Voice): Can't argue with that….
Ruto (Voice): True, true….
Zelda (Voice): Even if we did, she'd probably get us kicked off the show…
¤ A loud crashing noise can be heard as all contestants, sans Zelda, crash down anime-style. ¤
Nabooru: o_O?! Anyways, our first Tribal Council will be held this evening at sundown. Since both Tribe Tresaid and I have preparations to make, I will leave you to our commercial break with these words: Get out your credit cards! Bye!
¤ The screen fades out, and as it fades back in we can see Sheik (a.k.a. ME) sitting on top of the drawbridge leading into Hyrule Castle Town. She (I?) jumps down and begins talking to the camera. ¤
Sheik: Hello there! Now, how many of you enjoy great music, especially when it's a parody of even better music? Well, I do! And that's what I'm here to talk about. Several comic relief-style bands have lately been invading Hyrule with their music, and now, for the first time ever, those songs are being put onto one huge compilation album! Check out some of our great hits!
¤ We see a shot of a giant pool party going on behind Hyrule Castle. There are mostly girls, but Link is there too. There is a band playing on a stage by the pool:
¤ Malon on lead vocals and electric guitar
¤ Ruto on electric guitar
¤ Zelda on bass guitar
¤ Nabooru on drums
¤ Saria on Keyboard
(To the tune of "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" by Weird Al)
Zelda:
Hyrule has had a lot of
Hero guys in the past,
But all of them were wimpy
And none of them would last!
Malon:
But this new guy's a toughie,
Not just a sales trick:
Our people he would die for;
He can fight with a stick!
¤ The screen fades out and we go to the next scene. ¤
¤ We see a single spotlight shining down on a black grand piano. All else around it is dark. Link walks up to the piano in his toughest Hero-guy outfit and begins to play and sing to "The Saga Begins" be Weird Al Yankovic, or "Miss American Pie" by that one guy whose name I do not know. ¤
Link:
A long long time ago
In a memory far away,
Hyrule was under an attack!
I thought me and this princess gal:
A hero and this girl royale
Could stop this evil man with heart of black!
His response, it didn't thrill us:
Him and his monsters tried to kill us!
Got those three glowing rocks
And I lost all my good socks!
I fell asleep for seven years
Because of that man's evil fears
That I would stop his evil scheme!
That's when I woke up mean!
¤ The spotlight widens a little and we see Nabooru playing an acoustic guitar. ¤
Nabooru:
Well my, my, mister Linky-poo guy!
He's the greatest of the heroes doubtless of his small size!
He left his home and told Saria good-bye, saying:
"Soon I'm gonna be a tough guy!
Soon I'm gonna be a tough guy!"
¤ Next song! ¤
(To the tune of the 1st chorus of "Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters" by Weird Al)
¤ We see a shot of out of space, then the camera dives down, through the atmosphere, to Hyrule Field, down a street, and into a garage, where we see none other than a garage band. ¤
¤ Link is on lead vocals and electric guitar
¤ Malon is on electric guitar
¤ Zelda is on electric bass guitar
¤ Darunia is on drums
¤ Saria is on keyboard
All:
Attack of the radioactive cuccos
From-a someplace not far!
A race from a nearby place,
They came in UFOs shaped just like luxury cars!
¤ The montage ends, and Sheik (now in the Back Alley) begins talking again. ¤
Sheik: I don't know if anyone can live without this priceless collection, so you had better not take that chance. Order your copy today!
¤ The commercial ends and We see Nabooru's entire (as in we can see her whole body) profile against the breathtaking Gerudo Valley sunset. A little line of torches approaches as the Tribe Tresaid prepares to vote one of their own off. ¤
Nabooru (Voice): The time hath come. Come hither, O Tribe, and face thy destiny. Art thou prepared to face thy cruel fate?
Tresaid (Voices): We are.
Nabooru (Voice): Then enter, ye star-crossed ones. Tonight, fate's cruel judgment shalt be thine!
¤ A stone door blocking the entrance to the Temple moves, resulting in a loud grinding noise. Nabooru and the Tribe enter. ¤
¤ The main room of the Spirit Temple. The Tribe is standing at the entrance while Nabooru is standing at the top of the little staircase in her best Sage outfit. There are many torches everywhere, their golden light glinting and dancing off the edges of the Anubis statues that stand at either side of the stair. Nabooru descends the staircase and steps aside. She then gestures to the staircase. ¤
Nabooru: Enter, and sit thee down. It beeth (A/N: "bee-eth") our first meeting, yet in thy case 'twould be best, I deem.
¤ The Tribe sits down. ¤
Zelda: Um, what's with the archaic speech? Come on, you're not the Great Deku Tree!
Deku Tree (Voice with echo-ey effects mixed in.): HEY!!!
Zelda: Eep! Sorry. -_-
Rauru: Yeah, why ARE you talking like that? Even I'm not that old!
Darunia: Yeah! Get with the New Wave, sister!
Zelda: That's New AGE, Darunia.
Darunia: Whatever.
Nabooru: Geez guys, I was going for the DRAMATIC effect! Argh! I had better get this over with quickly.
Tresaid: YOU?!?!?
Malon: We're the ones about to vote out one of our own!
Darunia: The suspense is killing us!!!
Nabooru: All right, all right! See those torches behind you? The ones with the blue markings? Those are your torches. Each one has one of your names on it. If you are the one voted off, bring your torch here and I will extinguish it. Now, the one voted off is---
Rauru: HEY!
Nabooru: What NOW?!
Rauru: We didn't vote!
Malon: Yeah, don't we get a say in who stays and who goes?
Nabooru: Well you do, but since your vote means practically nil when compared to that of the readers' votes, well, the author didn't want to waste your time giving you the big runaround.
Tresaid: Ohhhhhh……
Nabooru: So brace yourselves, everybody! The one voted out of the tribe, the one who gets the humiliating title of the first one out, the exiled member of the---
Tresaid: JUST SAY IT!!!
Nabooru: Darunia, sorry. But you're outta here.
Darunia: Well that certainly sucks.
Zelda: Sorry, D! I would have voted to keep you in!
Malon: Me, too.
Rauru: Hey! Better him than me!
¤ The rest of Tresaid exchange hugs with Darunia, who then takes his torch to Nabooru. ¤
Nabooru: Darunia, the readers have spoken. Farewell!
¤ Nabooru extinguishes D's torch. Darunia then walks out of the room and into the one usually blocked off with the huge grey stone. Nabooru turns and faces the tribe. The camera is directly behind Tresaid. ¤
Nabooru: Tresaid, I will see you soon. As for you, reader, I will see you at the next update of Colossus: The Hylian Survival Adventure!
¤ The screen fades out as Tresaid files out of the temple and Nabooru walks off in order to get even with the soda machine. The Colossus theme song plays, some credits roll, most of which read "Sheik" this and "Sheik" that, and she show ends. ¤
A FanFic by Sheik
See chapter one. Yeah.
Well, I got the chapter situation worked out. Instead of chapters four and five being the same exact thing, THIS is chapter five! Yay!
Oh, and---
REVIEW!
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
(As the show opens, we see a large maze of adobe buildings all linked together. A troop of all-female guards clad in deep crimson walk to and fro all over the grounds. At the very top of the huge complex stands a lone woman with bright red hair, her white clothes contrasting sharply with her dark, tanned skin. Gold jewelry gleams on her arm and neck in the brilliant sunset. The camera zooms in on her, then rotates for a beautiful profile shot against a stunning sunset.)
Female Voice: We have been here for years. We survive in the desert where no one else can. But all things must change, like the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon. For the first time in Gerudo history, outsiders will pass the haunted wastelands and into the Desert Colossus to participate in a contest of wit, endurance, and skills. But this is no adventure. It is a competition. A game. And only the last to leave can truly call themselves:
Survivor.
(Eerie music starts, kind of like a remix of the Gerudo Valley song and the Gerudo's Hideout song with some ocarina playing mixed in. We see a shot of the Desert Colossus, with two different camps: one on each side, but equidistant from the Desert Oasis; now dancing in clear, crystalline water. The song ends, and we Nabooru standing on the steps of the Spirit Temple. The camera zooms in on her and she addresses the camera. )
Nabooru: Hello, and welcome back to Colossus: The Hylian Survival adventure! In our show, contestants must have strategy, endurance, and strength in order to win the show and be called the TRUE Colossus Survivor. To bad none of our contestants fit that description!
Contestants (Voices): HEY!!!
Nabooru: WHAT?! Its true!
Link (Voice): Can't argue with that….
Ruto (Voice): True, true….
Zelda (Voice): Even if we did, she'd probably get us kicked off the show…
¤ A loud crashing noise can be heard as all contestants, sans Zelda, crash down anime-style. ¤
Nabooru: o_O?! Anyways, our first Tribal Council will be held this evening at sundown. Since both Tribe Tresaid and I have preparations to make, I will leave you to our commercial break with these words: Get out your credit cards! Bye!
¤ The screen fades out, and as it fades back in we can see Sheik (a.k.a. ME) sitting on top of the drawbridge leading into Hyrule Castle Town. She (I?) jumps down and begins talking to the camera. ¤
Sheik: Hello there! Now, how many of you enjoy great music, especially when it's a parody of even better music? Well, I do! And that's what I'm here to talk about. Several comic relief-style bands have lately been invading Hyrule with their music, and now, for the first time ever, those songs are being put onto one huge compilation album! Check out some of our great hits!
¤ We see a shot of a giant pool party going on behind Hyrule Castle. There are mostly girls, but Link is there too. There is a band playing on a stage by the pool:
¤ Malon on lead vocals and electric guitar
¤ Ruto on electric guitar
¤ Zelda on bass guitar
¤ Nabooru on drums
¤ Saria on Keyboard
(To the tune of "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" by Weird Al)
Zelda:
Hyrule has had a lot of
Hero guys in the past,
But all of them were wimpy
And none of them would last!
Malon:
But this new guy's a toughie,
Not just a sales trick:
Our people he would die for;
He can fight with a stick!
¤ The screen fades out and we go to the next scene. ¤
¤ We see a single spotlight shining down on a black grand piano. All else around it is dark. Link walks up to the piano in his toughest Hero-guy outfit and begins to play and sing to "The Saga Begins" be Weird Al Yankovic, or "Miss American Pie" by that one guy whose name I do not know. ¤
Link:
A long long time ago
In a memory far away,
Hyrule was under an attack!
I thought me and this princess gal:
A hero and this girl royale
Could stop this evil man with heart of black!
His response, it didn't thrill us:
Him and his monsters tried to kill us!
Got those three glowing rocks
And I lost all my good socks!
I fell asleep for seven years
Because of that man's evil fears
That I would stop his evil scheme!
That's when I woke up mean!
¤ The spotlight widens a little and we see Nabooru playing an acoustic guitar. ¤
Nabooru:
Well my, my, mister Linky-poo guy!
He's the greatest of the heroes doubtless of his small size!
He left his home and told Saria good-bye, saying:
"Soon I'm gonna be a tough guy!
Soon I'm gonna be a tough guy!"
¤ Next song! ¤
(To the tune of the 1st chorus of "Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters" by Weird Al)
¤ We see a shot of out of space, then the camera dives down, through the atmosphere, to Hyrule Field, down a street, and into a garage, where we see none other than a garage band. ¤
¤ Link is on lead vocals and electric guitar
¤ Malon is on electric guitar
¤ Zelda is on electric bass guitar
¤ Darunia is on drums
¤ Saria is on keyboard
All:
Attack of the radioactive cuccos
From-a someplace not far!
A race from a nearby place,
They came in UFOs shaped just like luxury cars!
¤ The montage ends, and Sheik (now in the Back Alley) begins talking again. ¤
Sheik: I don't know if anyone can live without this priceless collection, so you had better not take that chance. Order your copy today!
¤ The commercial ends and We see Nabooru's entire (as in we can see her whole body) profile against the breathtaking Gerudo Valley sunset. A little line of torches approaches as the Tribe Tresaid prepares to vote one of their own off. ¤
Nabooru (Voice): The time hath come. Come hither, O Tribe, and face thy destiny. Art thou prepared to face thy cruel fate?
Tresaid (Voices): We are.
Nabooru (Voice): Then enter, ye star-crossed ones. Tonight, fate's cruel judgment shalt be thine!
¤ A stone door blocking the entrance to the Temple moves, resulting in a loud grinding noise. Nabooru and the Tribe enter. ¤
¤ The main room of the Spirit Temple. The Tribe is standing at the entrance while Nabooru is standing at the top of the little staircase in her best Sage outfit. There are many torches everywhere, their golden light glinting and dancing off the edges of the Anubis statues that stand at either side of the stair. Nabooru descends the staircase and steps aside. She then gestures to the staircase. ¤
Nabooru: Enter, and sit thee down. It beeth (A/N: "bee-eth") our first meeting, yet in thy case 'twould be best, I deem.
¤ The Tribe sits down. ¤
Zelda: Um, what's with the archaic speech? Come on, you're not the Great Deku Tree!
Deku Tree (Voice with echo-ey effects mixed in.): HEY!!!
Zelda: Eep! Sorry. -_-
Rauru: Yeah, why ARE you talking like that? Even I'm not that old!
Darunia: Yeah! Get with the New Wave, sister!
Zelda: That's New AGE, Darunia.
Darunia: Whatever.
Nabooru: Geez guys, I was going for the DRAMATIC effect! Argh! I had better get this over with quickly.
Tresaid: YOU?!?!?
Malon: We're the ones about to vote out one of our own!
Darunia: The suspense is killing us!!!
Nabooru: All right, all right! See those torches behind you? The ones with the blue markings? Those are your torches. Each one has one of your names on it. If you are the one voted off, bring your torch here and I will extinguish it. Now, the one voted off is---
Rauru: HEY!
Nabooru: What NOW?!
Rauru: We didn't vote!
Malon: Yeah, don't we get a say in who stays and who goes?
Nabooru: Well you do, but since your vote means practically nil when compared to that of the readers' votes, well, the author didn't want to waste your time giving you the big runaround.
Tresaid: Ohhhhhh……
Nabooru: So brace yourselves, everybody! The one voted out of the tribe, the one who gets the humiliating title of the first one out, the exiled member of the---
Tresaid: JUST SAY IT!!!
Nabooru: Darunia, sorry. But you're outta here.
Darunia: Well that certainly sucks.
Zelda: Sorry, D! I would have voted to keep you in!
Malon: Me, too.
Rauru: Hey! Better him than me!
¤ The rest of Tresaid exchange hugs with Darunia, who then takes his torch to Nabooru. ¤
Nabooru: Darunia, the readers have spoken. Farewell!
¤ Nabooru extinguishes D's torch. Darunia then walks out of the room and into the one usually blocked off with the huge grey stone. Nabooru turns and faces the tribe. The camera is directly behind Tresaid. ¤
Nabooru: Tresaid, I will see you soon. As for you, reader, I will see you at the next update of Colossus: The Hylian Survival Adventure!
¤ The screen fades out as Tresaid files out of the temple and Nabooru walks off in order to get even with the soda machine. The Colossus theme song plays, some credits roll, most of which read "Sheik" this and "Sheik" that, and she show ends. ¤