Her hands went down to her stomach. It was becoming habit. A way of comforting
herself as she went through her parents things in China. They all seemed to be
walking on eggshells around her.
The new, abandoned pregnant child of two people all their friends and family
loved. She could tell by their eyes, they wanted to know if the father was
acceptable.
If the father was black.
Like a sad storm, the papers flew around her, like a patheic snow. Jing Mei
let out a cry. No tears yet.
**************************
You say I've been driving you crazy
And it's keeping you away
**************************
Nick was laughing. Laughing hard, slapping his thigh. Everyone around him,
back at the hospital, was lost in the moment, too.
"MVA coming in" Jerry called.
They all turned to stare at the man behind the desk.
"Mood killer" Nick mumbled, following after a few collegues.
"Just doing my job, man" Jerry answered back,eyebrows furrowed. The time Nick
had spent at the hospital, his mood sure had changed.
***************************
So just give me one good reason
Tell my why I should stay
'Cause I don't want to waste another moment
Saying things we never meant to say
****************************
She zipped up the last suitcase, watching the movers come and go through the house,
make their way through the office, big, black boot prints on the white rug.
Jing Mei held her breath, holding her purse to her chest.
"Is that all, cousin?" the quick rapid Chinese snapped her out of her semi-day dream.
"Cousin?"
She nodded, waiting for them all to slowly disappear away, and take in the new
shell of a home before going to the airport. Before it was time to face reality.
That was the scary part.
*****************************
I hold my breath and count to ten
I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
*****************************
"Coop, there's a message here for you, from...Chen." Frank called.
He looked up at the clock, Nick's hands were kneading his back. "When did
I get this message, Frank?"
The older man shrugged.
Nick rolled his eyes. Snapped up the pink slip of paper and folded it several
times before slipping it into his pocket.
"You aren't going to read it?"
He turned around slowly."Why?"
"Cause she wants you to pick her up at the airport at 2."
"2 am?" he choked.
"Read the damn note" Frank muttered.
******************************
If I just breathe…
Let it fill the space between
Oh no, everything is alright
Breathe… every little piece of me
You'll see everything is alright
If I just breathe
********************************
She kept talking shallow, easy breaths. Heart racing, the stewardess kept
asking her if everything was okay. There was sweat beading on her forehead
her cheeks flushed.
"I'm...I'm fine"
Jing Mei closed her eyes, remembering the way Frank's eyes had fallen. He looked..
trapped. She couldn't really dredge up what they had said, but he had signed the
papers reluctantly.
She didn't know Nick well enough to predict his reaction. And it scared her.
"Ma'am?"
Jing Mei looked up, her eyes watering, tears racing down her cheeks.
"Would you like a beverage?"
***********************************
If I just breathe...
***********************************
She had curled up in his arms when the Embassy called again. Wanting to confirm
travel plans.
She had pulled away, turned her back to him, curled back up, and tangled herself
in the sheets.
Nick stood at the edge of his bed. She never said, "I have to do this."
She was just gone when he woke up. He held her for most of the night. The
weird thing about this woman was, she shook and cried, but there was no tears.
He was certain she didn't feel comfortable enough around him to cry yet.
But that was the confusion of sex. He threw himself into the dirty sheets. A haphazard
belly flop into the mattress.
Nick closed his eyes, and disappeared into dark.
********************************
Well the talks are overrated
Am I saying how you feel?
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
********************************
The dawn of morning light, she stood as a shadow in his doorway.
The single key he kept in the potted plant outside his door dug into
her skin. He had thrown himself lazily onto the bed. An arm dragged along
the floor. She could hear the sound of his deep easy breaths.
"Holy shit" he muttered, sitting up suddenly.
She held her breath, waiting for the light to flip on. Then she remebered the light
coming from the hall. The shadow that fell across her new profile. Her new shape.
"D..Deb?"
She stood in the doorway, and bit her lip.
**********************************
And I… get you just a little time
I wonder if you realize
I've been waiting 'til I see it in your eyes
***********************************
herself as she went through her parents things in China. They all seemed to be
walking on eggshells around her.
The new, abandoned pregnant child of two people all their friends and family
loved. She could tell by their eyes, they wanted to know if the father was
acceptable.
If the father was black.
Like a sad storm, the papers flew around her, like a patheic snow. Jing Mei
let out a cry. No tears yet.
**************************
You say I've been driving you crazy
And it's keeping you away
**************************
Nick was laughing. Laughing hard, slapping his thigh. Everyone around him,
back at the hospital, was lost in the moment, too.
"MVA coming in" Jerry called.
They all turned to stare at the man behind the desk.
"Mood killer" Nick mumbled, following after a few collegues.
"Just doing my job, man" Jerry answered back,eyebrows furrowed. The time Nick
had spent at the hospital, his mood sure had changed.
***************************
So just give me one good reason
Tell my why I should stay
'Cause I don't want to waste another moment
Saying things we never meant to say
****************************
She zipped up the last suitcase, watching the movers come and go through the house,
make their way through the office, big, black boot prints on the white rug.
Jing Mei held her breath, holding her purse to her chest.
"Is that all, cousin?" the quick rapid Chinese snapped her out of her semi-day dream.
"Cousin?"
She nodded, waiting for them all to slowly disappear away, and take in the new
shell of a home before going to the airport. Before it was time to face reality.
That was the scary part.
*****************************
I hold my breath and count to ten
I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
*****************************
"Coop, there's a message here for you, from...Chen." Frank called.
He looked up at the clock, Nick's hands were kneading his back. "When did
I get this message, Frank?"
The older man shrugged.
Nick rolled his eyes. Snapped up the pink slip of paper and folded it several
times before slipping it into his pocket.
"You aren't going to read it?"
He turned around slowly."Why?"
"Cause she wants you to pick her up at the airport at 2."
"2 am?" he choked.
"Read the damn note" Frank muttered.
******************************
If I just breathe…
Let it fill the space between
Oh no, everything is alright
Breathe… every little piece of me
You'll see everything is alright
If I just breathe
********************************
She kept talking shallow, easy breaths. Heart racing, the stewardess kept
asking her if everything was okay. There was sweat beading on her forehead
her cheeks flushed.
"I'm...I'm fine"
Jing Mei closed her eyes, remembering the way Frank's eyes had fallen. He looked..
trapped. She couldn't really dredge up what they had said, but he had signed the
papers reluctantly.
She didn't know Nick well enough to predict his reaction. And it scared her.
"Ma'am?"
Jing Mei looked up, her eyes watering, tears racing down her cheeks.
"Would you like a beverage?"
***********************************
If I just breathe...
***********************************
She had curled up in his arms when the Embassy called again. Wanting to confirm
travel plans.
She had pulled away, turned her back to him, curled back up, and tangled herself
in the sheets.
Nick stood at the edge of his bed. She never said, "I have to do this."
She was just gone when he woke up. He held her for most of the night. The
weird thing about this woman was, she shook and cried, but there was no tears.
He was certain she didn't feel comfortable enough around him to cry yet.
But that was the confusion of sex. He threw himself into the dirty sheets. A haphazard
belly flop into the mattress.
Nick closed his eyes, and disappeared into dark.
********************************
Well the talks are overrated
Am I saying how you feel?
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
********************************
The dawn of morning light, she stood as a shadow in his doorway.
The single key he kept in the potted plant outside his door dug into
her skin. He had thrown himself lazily onto the bed. An arm dragged along
the floor. She could hear the sound of his deep easy breaths.
"Holy shit" he muttered, sitting up suddenly.
She held her breath, waiting for the light to flip on. Then she remebered the light
coming from the hall. The shadow that fell across her new profile. Her new shape.
"D..Deb?"
She stood in the doorway, and bit her lip.
**********************************
And I… get you just a little time
I wonder if you realize
I've been waiting 'til I see it in your eyes
***********************************