GUNDAM--WING
LOST PROMISES
CHAPTER 6
DISCLAIMER and Writers' note:
Jessi-chan: And finally! Chapter 6.
Mae-chan: Again, the usual disclaimers. This fic was made for our own enjoyment and for the supportive people who've e-mailed us about this fic. All original characters belong to their designated owners, but Ayame and Tetsuya and the others are our own creations.
Jessi-chan & Mae-chan: Enjoy the chapter!!
Reminder: This fan fiction has altered facts that may have a chance of happening in the storyline of the series. So please, do not bombard us with facts that the information is wrong and never existed in the series.
CONFLICTING FEELINGS
"You're finally there... After all these years, it's almost finished." Tetsuya remarked in a lighter tone of voice to Ayame, who was now wearing her military uniform, and her hair tied in a tight bun.
Ayame only gave Tetsuya a slight nod, and continued to stare at her reflection on the mirror before her dully.
"You're… really sure…?"
She turned to him suddenly. His cheerful mood had disappeared quickly in a matter of seconds.
"Sure of what?" she asked.
"About all of this… You're sure about leaving things this way." Tetsuya asked keenly.
"What can be left when nothing has even started?" she asked him sternly.
She grabbed a file folder that sat on her desk, and then walked towards the door.
"I think you need to get your priorities straight." She turned the knob of her door, "Major Midaki."
She gave him a half glance before stepping out the room and slamming the door shut. Tetsuya let a sigh escape his mouth.
"Brother… I wanted to follow my role as a soldier… But, I couldn't do it."
He turned to the door with half lidded eyes.
" I failed as a soldier…"
Tetsuya fingered the carvings on the bed post beside him absent-mindedly.
"But brother… It wasn't only that… I also failed my role as a human being… worse of all, as a friend."
He frowned at the voice that echoed in his head, that sad influence from the past.
"After all… in the end… I still couldn't save her…"
"What are you talking about, Kaworu?" A young 17 year old Tetsuya stood before his younger brother.
Kaworu Midaki smiled weakly at his older brother with gentle dark blue eyes. He brushed back his strands of short jet black hair with his hand, seeming to be at a loss for words.
"I can't really explain it, brother. It's just weird." He leaned back on the wall behind him and thoughtfully stared up the high iron ceiling of the docking area, "It's just what I feel."
"Hah?" Tetsuya frowned and settled himself beside his brother, "What you feel about Ayame? Is it that confusing? Didn't you like her or something?"
A slight color of red added onto Kaworu's cheeks as he glared at him.
"I-It's that obvio—"
"Of course, you moron." Tetsuya smacked him behind his head, "Everyone who knows you are aware that you're crazy about her."
"W-W-WHAT?! I am not!" Kaworu stuttered, turning extremely red this time.
"All except Ayame."
Kaworu paused and stared at Tetsuya, slightly bewildered at his sudden remark.
"She's too dense when it comes to these things." His older brother mocked with gesturing to his head, "She's hard-headed and her mind is practically impenetrable at most times, as long as it's not war related at least."
Tetsuya let out a sigh and frowned.
"She's only thinks rationally in the line of duty. Everything else outside doesn't matter to her. It's so annoying."
"I… guess so." Kaworu responded, staring back at the ceiling while smiling slightly to himself.
Silence.
"Hey… brother… Remember… How it was with Nickky?"
Tetsuya merely made a small sound of agreement.
"Did you know about Tomoko-sama's plan?"
Again, his older brother made a small sound of agreement.
"… You know…" Kaworu paused again, "He requested me… to kill her."
Tetsuya shifted slightly but said nothing.
"I was surprised… a father requesting for someone to kill her daughter. It was sickening." Kaworu snorted, "I got so mad. I got so mad that I talked back to him, the same person who saved us and gave us another chance to live."
"I questioned him for the very first time in my life." He chuckled, "But after, he just smiled and said 'I understand.'"
Again, there was no reply. Tetsuya knew about this. He knew about this clearly and even now, he couldn't understand what Tomoko Shiriori was thinking. His thoughts were interrupted when Kaworu slammed his fist to the wall behind him. He clenched his teeth in anger, suppressing his negative feelings.
"'I understand' my ass!" He growled, "What the hell did he understand?! What the hell did he understand about anything, about her?!"
"You're wrong…" Tetsuya thought as he watched his sibling, "We're all wrong…"
"Did he even understand how she felt?!" Kaworu barked furiously.
"What do we understand about them…? What right do we have to judge either Nickky or Tomoko-sama…? Just what exactly do we know, Kaworu?" he thought to himself, "Those are the questions I was to ask… but…"
"I…" Kaworu suddenly muttered in a calm, slightly strained voice.
His hands were at his sides, lolling silently.
"… I wanted to follow my role as a soldier… But, I couldn't do it…" he continued, "I couldn't accept such a thing… even from Tomoko-sama. I failed as a soldier…"
"But brother… It wasn't only that…" He smirked, "I also failed my role as a human being… worse of all, as a friend."
"I realized… as much as I tried to protect her, I just end up hurting her more and more. I failed." He muttered, "After all… in the end… I still couldn't save her…"
"How can I say I love her… when in the past… and even now…"
Tetsuya turned to him with sympathetic eyes.
"I let her fall…"
Tetsuya glanced at the door where Ayame once stood.
"Moron… It wasn't your fault." He thought solemnly, "Saving someone who doesn't want to be saved was never an easy job."
***
Quatre leaned against the railing before him and eyed the now silent base floating on the sea. In a few hours, it would be in chaos, and he will be one of the people to cause it. Ayame most probably would be at the battle field. She is an OZ soldier after all. And he'd be damned to think that she would just stand there and let her comrades die by his and his companions' hands. Wouldn't she…?
It bothered him. Going against Ayame will not be easy, mostly with such an unclear mind. He was still questioning himself. The truth didn't feel clear. The words from yesterday seemed so surreal. But she has said it. It wasn't a dream. Then again, what he heard from her before when he visited her in her room was also real. Her kindness was real. He had proof. When he spoke to her about her job, she showed emotion, sadness. It was so clear back then. Then, there was that time he spoke about Nicole… Nicole…
Quatre sighed. The memory of the young brunette reaching for his face, and brushing it softly with her hand suddenly became fresh in his mind. He buried his head in his arms and groaned. This was so damned confusing!
"Are you all right?" A feminine voice called from behind.
Quatre turned quickly to the person behind him finding himself looking straight into deep amber eyes. It was a woman he's never seen before in his life. Her face was adorned with lush long dirty blonde hair; she was tall and kind looking. She spelt out the words 'big sister' with her soft gaze and gentle smile.
"You're Quatre Raberba Winner, correct?" she asked in her placid voice.
Quatre nodded slowly.
"Y-Yes."
Her smile grew wider.
"I'm Elena Rosenberg. It's wonderful to finally meet your acquaintance."
Quatre blinked for a moment.
"Uuh… I'm sorry, but… how do you…"
"Oh, my. I'm not anyone suspicious." she laughed, "I know your name through Nanami-san."
"Ah…"
Her eyes settled themselves on his face.
"I come out for a walk and here I meet the Winner-san Nanami-san speaks so highly of. I only wished I would have met Maxwell-san and Yuy-san as well." She brushed away the wisps of hair that blew on her face with the wind, "I would have never missed an opportunity like this… mostly when Winner-san looks so troubled."
Quatre slowly smiled at her. 'Big sister' was indeed the word for her.
"Quatre would be fine."
"Very well, Quatre-san it is." She beamed, "Elena will be fine for me as well."
Quatre nodded.
"Well, then. Why is a young man like you standing out here alone, looking ever so troubled?"
He smiled meekly at her.
"What makes you think that I'm troubled?" He asked.
"When a young man is staring out at the sea, he's usually thinking of something. Maybe about something, maybe about school, maybe about someone, or maybe it's a woman… a lost love perhaps?"
Quatre laughed.
"That's quite romantic. It might be true in my case. But, it's of a different level."
Elena smiled at him gently.
"I see." She dusted her lap absent-mindedly.
Only the sound of the waves could be heard as they became silent. Elena's eyes had wandered into the depths of the sea, past Quatre's position.
"I knew someone who was like that… He loved staring out at the waters while he thought of this girl." She smiled at him again, "He told me, that the girl he loves is like the ocean. She was passive… though can be fierce when a storm strikes, fierce enough to destroy those around her and those who try to subdue her. But she also saves, bringing lost things back onto the shore where they belong. He said he also loves her… because just like the ocean… she holds many secrets deep in the depths of her soul. She hides them in the darkness of deep crevices, and the shadows of bounteous water plants… covering them… So when we stare at her, we only see the water… and when we dive to find her soul… we are bombarded by her walls of lies."
Quatre gazed at Elena, half in shock and half in awe of her words. She had just spoken deep words, deep meaningful words. But, why?
"I'm sorry." She laughed, "I said too much. I tend to ramble. Don't mind me."
Quatre couldn't help but smile.
"Ara? Ayame-san."
Quatre quickly turned to the side. There, the pale brunette stood, looking questioningly at Elena and Quatre.
"Elena…san… Why are you…" her voice trailed off.
"On your way to the Military base?" Elena continued.
"Yes…" she answered.
"Is that for the office?" the older woman pointed at the file in her hand.
She nodded in response.
"Elena-san… why are yo—"
"I'll take it to the office." She smiled and took the file from her hand, "It was nice talking to you Quatre-kun. Ayame-san, you should go to the base now or they'll get mad at you."
This time Ayame didn't reply. She just watched Elena head towards the main school building, looking cheerful and calm as she had first saw her. Ayame shifted slightly from where she stood, feeling the presence a few meters away from her. He wasn't looking at her. She knows that. She always knew when someone was staring at her. But she felt his anxiety. She drew her breath and took a step forward. Then, Quatre finally spoke.
"I need to talk to you." He suddenly said.
"There's nothing to talk about." She said sternly.
"There is!"
"There's nothing to talk about, Mr. Winner!" she shouted making Quatre flinch.
"…There is." Quatre said in a serious tone, "There is, Ayame. And I'm not going to let you slip off this one. Now please look at me."
Ayame didn't move. Quatre was starting to feel frustrated and confused. There were too many things in his mind, so many feelings lurking in his chest. It was total chaos. He walked over to her.
"Please…"
She turned to him, looking at him straight in the eye, but she said nothing. An unfamiliar feeling emitted from her eyes. She was just as frustrated as he was.
"Don't… interfere." She said in an angry tone.
She glanced at him with piercing cold eyes before turning away completely and walked away.
***
"I'm not sure if I hate him or anything."
Heero stared at the ceiling of his room emptily.
"He's still the only family I have. What about you?"
"I have none…"
"I see… I can be your family if you want!"
"W-What? That's stupid…"
"No, I'm not kidding! I can be your younger sister!"
"… That's stupid…"
"That's stupid…" Heero echoed under his breath.
Why was it that he remembers such useless things? Those were memories that will never be reckoned by anyone else but him. They were useless things.
"It…It seems…"
A flash of a face of a young girl covered in blood stared at him in his mind.
"I made a mistake…"
She smiled at him, the usual brightness of her light dim and weak.
"..I'm sorry."
Heero covered his face with his hands, looking horrified of the memory of that young girl's face. He sat up and punched the bed. Anger and frustration was welling up in him and it was driving him mad. He looked ahead of him, seeing the mirror hanging on the other side of the room. His reflection glared right back at him. The memories he was told to forget was returning, what he tried to forget. It was all coming back slowly. But why does it have to be now?
"Hey!" The memory continued.
"Hey!" A young girl's voice called out as the young child with no name sat by himself on the grass.
He had been ignoring the people in this colony since Dr. J had brought him there to meet a certain important person. That same girl has been calling out like that for about 5 minutes now. He's seen her before. She was at the docking area wearing military clothes. Well, she was part of the military after all. She was 4 years older than him, and she looked a bit bossy. She had dark black hair with a bluish tint that hung loosely upon her shoulders, and a pair of unusual grey eyes. She had fair skin and small pinkish lips.
"Heeeey!!" The girl shouted again.
No one would understand how much he wanted to tell her to shut the hell up. But he didn't talk much. He only talked when he felt like it, or when only it was necessary. He wasn't the type to complain.
"HEEEEEY!!"
But gawd… That girl really is annoying. She was probably going to do it over again. The young boy sat up immediately as he heard the voice starting up once more.
"HEE—"
"Shu—"
"Oh, be quiet! I heard you already!" a tinier voice intervened before both of the other two voices could finish.
The young boy heard someone approaching from below the hill he was on. The owner of the tiny voice was walking in a fast, yet relaxed pace as it hiked up the hill. Slowly, the owner of the voice could be seen. It was a young girl, a brunette. Her hair was in a loose pony tail and reached to her waist. She looked no older than 9 years of age. She was pretty… for a girl. Chestnut eyes wandered to the young boy that sat silently on the ground as the boy also watched her, their stare never breaking away from each other until the extent of their gaze was stretched far enough.
"Geez. What took you so long?" The older girl remarked in annoyance.
"Be quiet." The younger one coldly replied.
.
"What's with that attitude?" the older one whined.
"*Bozu." The young boy turned to his side and saw the elderly man called Dr. J standing only meters from him, "Let's go."
"Un." The young boy nodded.
He turned and glanced at the two girls talking some meters away from them, looking at them with quiet dead-pan eyes.
"I never cared back then. I didn't care about anything…" Heero thought to himself, "But back then, how would I have known, that the child that owned that tiny voice, would forever be silenced in a few months. How would I have known?"
"Bozu." Dr. J called again.
"How would I have known that the girl who owned that voice…"
The young boy turned to the old man again and followed him, the voices of the two young girls fading away.
"Would disappear forever? … That girl they called… 'Nicole Shiriori'."
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Jessi-chan: I never got worried about the Japanese words I write in my fics but I might as well do it for the people who aren't familiar with it.
*Bozu –Usually used when calling a child. It can mean "Brat" depending on the intentions of the person saying it.
Mae-chan: Till the next chapter then.
END