TITLE: Promises

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters from the West Wing belong to me (duh!) and I am making no profit from this piece of fiction (double duh!).

ARCHIVE: You want it, please ask first.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is much darker than any of my other typical J/D fluff but it just kind of popped into my head one day and I thought I better write it before I lose it. I'm not sure if this is gonna be a one parter or if there will be more (I am leaning toward a second part from Donna's POV). Any input would be great.

As a timeline, Josh and Amy are still a thing and this takes place some time after Christmas.

*** means a flashback.

Reviews always welcome.

Josh was focusing on the slick roads when his cell phone rang. He heard Amy sigh as he pulled it off his hip and put it to his ear.

"Josh Lyman," he said shortly.

"Josh, it's CJ."

"What's up?"

"Donna's been attacked."

If Josh had listened closely he would have heard that CJ was on the verge of tears. Unfortunately, he thought that his friends were drunk and attempting to play a practical joke.

"By what? The tape dispenser? Or maybe the photocopier jumped her. Of course, if it was the stapler she might need stitches."

Josh saw Amy give him an odd look in his peripheral vision but he ignored her.

"Josh! I'm not kidding, Donna's been attacked and you need to come to the hospital right now," CJ said harshly and her voice cracked.

Josh was grateful for the red light that provided an excuse for him to stop short.

"How bad?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know. They won't let us in to see her."

Josh felt something sink inside him as his stomach cramped up with anxiety.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. George Washington?"

"Yes."

"Be there right away."
"Hurry, Josh," CJ said before she disconnected.

Josh pulled a u-turn and headed toward the hospital.

"I thought you weren't going back to work tonight," Amy complained.

"I'm not."

"Then where are we going?"

"The hospital. Donna needs me."

The short statement was greeted by silence. As he sped through the streets of DC, Josh thought about the last time he had seen Donna.

***

"Hey Josh," Josh looked up to see his assistant leaning against the doorframe.

"What's up?" he asked returning to his paperwork.

"I was wondering if you could give me a ride home," when there was only silence, Donna rushed on, "because my car is in the garage again getting it's brakes fixed or something and I don't have a ride."

Josh looked up again at the angelic face looking anxious and expectant and felt horribly guilty for what he was about to do.

"Donna, I would but I can't," he watched her face fall. Feeling even more horrible he hurried to explain, "You see, I'm having dinner with Amy tonight and if I'm late or if I cancel..."

"You're screwed," she finished quietly.

"Something like that."

He felt horrible for having to turn her down. It seemed that Amy got between them more and more often lately. He was about to speak again when he was interrupted by Donna's falsely bright voice.

"It's ok. I'll just figure out some other way home."

She turned to leave but Josh halted her with his voice.

"Donna?"

She turned to look at him.

"Just promise you won't walk home. It's not safe for you to walk where you live."

"I know a great solution for that."

"Really, what?"

"A raise."

"Ha, tell the Bagel you want a raise."

"I tried."

She turned again.

"Donna, you didn't promise."

"I promise not to walk home Josh."

"Good."

***

Josh raced into the hospital entrance, expecting to feel the scar on his chest to ache, for his hand to sting, to hear Christmas music. Instead all he felt was panic for Donna. He began to look frantically for a nurse who could tell him where to find Donna. His search halted abruptly when he heard his name.

"Josh!"

He turned to see Will Bailey striding quickly towards him.

"Will, what are you doing here?"

"I was with Toby and CJ when the hospital phoned."

Josh nodded.

Will gestured towards the elevator, "C'mon, Donna's upstairs. We still haven't seen her but we're all waiting up there."

Josh followed Will into the elevator. They stood watching the floor numbers crawl by. Everything was wrong. Donna shouldn't be here.

***

Josh halted outside the door of Will's office. He had sent Donna down here nearly twenty minutes ago and she had disappeared. He was about to stride in and ask Will if he had kidnapped his assistant when he heard Donna's voice.

"It's just so hard, you know?" he was surprised to hear her voice swollen with tears.

"I know," he heard Will say softly and reassuringly.

"It's just that their there, every day in my face. And he keeps putting our friendship on the back burner and I can literally see us hanging on by a thread."

Josh realized with shock that the "he" Donna was talking about was him.

"Do you think Amy's pulling you two apart on purpose?"

"I don't see why she would. We're just friends. At least as far he's concerned. I try to keep all other emotions deep down."

"Donna, you two are not just friends. I was there last year, remember?"

"Where?"

Donna was obviously just as confused as Josh was.

"At your apartment when we threw snowballs."

He heard Donna chuckle.

"Donna, if you had seen the look on his face when he figured out you had lied. If you had seen that look when you popped your head out the window like a princess locked in a tower," he heard Will pause, "you would know that you two are way beyond friendship."

He could practically hear Donna blush.

"Thanks," she said softly, "I should get back. Josh ought to be on the rampage right about now."

"No problem, but I do have one question for you."

"What?"

"Why do you come to me? Why do always tell me what's going on and ask my opinion?"
"Well, I used to go to Sam. And since he's not here anymore and you're his handpicked replacement..."

"You trust my opinion like you did his."

"Something like that."

"Thanks."

Josh darted behind a pillar as he watched Donna come out of Will's office. He was surprised when he heard Will calling his name.

"Josh, didn't Donna ever teach you that it's rude to eavesdrop?"

"She might have covered it. I know my mother did," he paused and asked softly, "Does she come talk to you often?"

"About once a week now. Before she'd come by once a month and we'd joke around but now...she's almost always sad now."

"Is it all because of me?"

"What do you think?"

"Is she in...love with me?"

"If she isn't I hope I can get that kind of devotion from my assistants."

Josh nodded and then did a double take.

"You have a thing for her," it was statement more then a question.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not like you have any claim on her."

Josh looked angrily at him.

"Then again, that's the look of the man who throws snowballs."

"I'm the good cop."

"I'm the bad cop, I know."

***

Josh had lost track of the time he had been sitting here in this horribly uncomfortable chair. He looked into the faces of his companions. CJ, Toby and Will all looked as drained as him. Ginger had stopped by to check on how things were going. Amy had gone home hours ago. Leo phoned every hour.

No one knew anything. The doctors said nothing, just looked worried.

Josh was pulled out of his reverie when the First Lady strode in.

"Mrs. Bartlett," the group said nearly in a chorus.

"How is she?" she asked urgently.

"They won't tell us ma'am," Josh replied softly.

The First Lady shot him a worried look and then looked business-like once again, "Well," she said shortly, "I'll go see what I can find out."

They all nodded thankfully and sat back down.

When she returned she wore the worried look of all the doctors surrounding them. Josh jumped up to meet her.

"How is she?"

"Not good. Somebody beat the hell out of her. She's horribly bruised. Several of her ribs are broken. They had to remove her spleen because it was irreparably damaged. Her left wrist is fractured. She broke her ankle. She was suffering from hypothermia but they pulled her out of that. But all of that will heal."

"I get the feeling you haven't told me everything."

Mrs. Bartlett looked almost scared.

"Her brain has swelled. If the swelling doesn't go done she could end up in a coma, have brain damage, she could even die."

Josh felt all of his inner organs drop to the sub-basement.

"Can I see her?"

"Not until the swelling goes down. Any movement or stimulation could make things even worse."

Josh felt even worse than when he had been suffering from his PTSD.

"What are her chances?"

"Not good."

Josh dropped back into the horrible plastic chair, grateful for it's support. What would he do without her?

***

Josh stopped several feet from the monument. In the dark, illuminated only by the lights trained on the monument and the moon, he could see the outline of the thin blonde woman he had been looking for.

"Donna," he said softly.

She started and turned to look at him.

"Josh," she said wearily, "I'm off work, any files that need to be organized can wait until tomorrow."

"I didn't come about work."

"Then why are you here?"

"To apologize."
"Apologize for what?"

"For whatever it is that I did today that made you so down."

"Oh Josh, it's not you.  Well, not entirely you."

There was silence.

"Josh, I'm thinking about leaving you for Sam."

"You're leaving me for Sam?  Why?"

"Well, he has that new firm and he needs an assistant and the hours are better and I might even be able to go to school."

"Donna you're not going to work for Sam."

"How do you know?  Maybe I will."

"You want an excuse to escape.  To leave the White House.  To leave me."

"Oh Josh, I would never leave you."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Josh was still disturbed by the sad look in her eyes.  He pulled her into his arms as she buried her head in his chest and sobbed. If only things were different.

***

Josh was shaken out of his sleep and looked up into the First Lady's face.

"What happened? Is Donna ok?"

"The swelling has gone down. You can see her now."

He jumped up and followed Mrs. Bartlett down the hallway.

"Is she awake?"

"No, she probably won't wake up for several more hours."

They stopped outside a glass door with ICU printed on it. He peered in the window but couldn't see Donna. Casting a glance at Mrs. Bartlett who indicated he should enter, he pushed open the door and took a few steps into the room.

It was artificially bright, the fluorescent light illuminating the form on the bed. It was almost unrecognizable as Donna, only the blonde hair seemed the same. All of the alabaster skin she had been so proud of seemed peppered with bruises. Both her eyes were blackened but amazingly her nose had not been broken. Her jaw was swollen and there was a large bandage swathing her forehead. Her left wrist was in a cast. There was an oxygen tube in her noise, and as he remembered they were damn irritating.

He spotted a stool next to the bed and sat down. Pulling her right hand into his own, not without noticing the bruises and scrapes on her knuckles, he began to speak.

"Hey Donna. You gave us quite a scare there. Even the doctors were worried about you. I was worried about you. I shouldn't have been though. You're strong. You carry so many things inside you and never show how much you're hurting, even when you're heart is breaking. I wish I were more like you.

"You have to wake up for me. I won't be able to function without you. They'll send me some temp or heaven forbid they'll make that evil intern do your job. You can't do that to me Donna. You know I'd end up being fired or turning into an evil tyrant.

"Why were you walking home? They told me you were found on the sidewalk two blocks from your apartment building. You promised me you wouldn't walk. You promised. And you never break a promise. You promised you wouldn't leave me, remember? You can't leave me Donna."

Realizing the magnitude of his feelings for her he whispered in her ear, "I love you."