Still Standing
Summary- The second war is over, and everyone in Hermione's life had left her. As she walks through the empty halls of Hogwarts, she reflects on how her life is now.
******
I stared up at the empty sky. There were no stars, there was no moon. Clouds swirled above my head, blocking everything from view. I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran inside away from the pain.
Hogwarts wasn't somewhere I wanted to be anymore. Too many memories floated through the empty hallways. I could still here Ron laughing, Harry grinning. The three of us had so many memories stored away here forever. And they would never leave.
Too many deaths had occurred. The second war brought nothing good out of it, except the fact that Voldemort wasn't terrorizing anyone anymore. But was that a price I was willing to pay? I thought about how unfair life was and how he shouldn't have died just to save the fricken' wizarding world. I built up all of my anger, and then broke down in tears thinking of how selfish I was being.
I know I should be thankful for keeping my life, but what was that worth, when you had nobody to enjoy it with? What was the point of life if you lived it alone and in constant pain? It was five years ago, and I tried to carry on with my life, but I couldn't. Returning to Hogwarts to take over the deceased McGonagall's job only brought more pain. It was the worse decision I had made. But Remus needed me. At least I had him. But really, I didn't. He had suffered more than I did, I knew, because he had lost every single person, besides me, who ever trusted him and who ever accepted him. Being a werewolf wasn't easy. I walked through the empty hallways, my robes trailing behind me. Seeing all of the ecstatic young faces waiting to learn should have excited me, like it did every other teacher, but it only made it worse. It reminded me how I used to be so happy. The damned war had destroyed my life.
I could still remember seeing Ginny's face after hearing her favorite brother had died saving my life, and how Harry, her only love, died soon after. Sure, they said that 'one couldn't survive while the other lived', but they never said anything about both of them dying. Even before that I suffered. My favorite teacher died as well as my least favorite, but that didn't change me caring. Severus was finally uncovered by Wormtail. Wormtail. Peter Pettigrew. He destroyed all of our lives. He revealed Lily and James, he destroyed Sirius, he unveiled Harry, and he never died. Peter lived, lived in disgrace, with the knowledge that he killed every single one of the people he once loved. But it was better that he lived. Better than die and be done with it. I would much rather him live, suffering, wishing that he was dead. And I know he is much to cowardice to kill himself.
I rounded a corner on the second floor and almost ran into the girls bathroom door. I stood, frozen. Pictured flashed through my mind of my second year, and then of every other year. And I couldn't take it. I broke down crying, falling onto the floor. My heart was broken long ago, and it was never fixed. Suddenly, a memory flashed through my head. It was Ron
******
"Hermione, stay back! I can handle this!" He yelled at me. Malfoy senior was standing in front of me, grinning maliciously.
"Your dear Ron can't save you know," he said. He held his wand out and started to mouth the words. I stood defenseless, without a wand and without strength. I thought for sure I was going to die. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact. And then it came. I fell hard to the floor, like something had run into me. I turned over onto my stomach. Wait, I moved? I wasn't supposed to be able to move. I opened my eyes to see Ron dueling with Malfoy. Just as I stood up, a flash of green light shot out of his wand and Ron fell stiff to the floor. I screamed.
"You bastard!" I yelled. He turned, a smug look on his face. And then I screamed the worst spell I could. Aveda Kedavra. Malfoy fell, also stiff. I stood panting, not being able to believe what I just did. But nobody cared what spell you uttered while at war. More than once an auror had said it.
I tore my eyes away from his dead body and ran over to Ron. I knelt down beside him and cried onto his chest. Everything else in the battle went blank, until I heard two screams, one was Voldemort, and one was Harry.
******
That was the worst day of my life, the day I lost two of the people I cared mostly about. I cried and cried at my position on the floor, not realizing that someone was standing over me, watching.
"Hermione." he whispered. I looked up. Remus was standing over me, watching me. I don't know how long he was there, or how long I had been there, but I took the hand he was offering and stood up with him. I cried more into his shoulder.
"I still cant believe they are gone!" I whispered into his chest. He rocked me back and forth, back and forth.
"I know it hurts, Hermione, but its over. Everything is over. There is no need to cry anymore," I looked up at him, anger boiling inside me. Not at him, but at those words he spoke.
"What's the point of living when you have nothing to live for?" suddenly I was spilling all of my emotions into him. "When there is no one there to comfort you anymore, when no one seems to care, when you cry silently but everyone is too afraid to approach you? When people know how close you were to the famous boy-who-lived and the boy who sacrificed everything he could to save you? What's the point?" I tried to yell at him, but my voice was too hoarse from crying, so it was no more than a whisper. He rocked me more, in silence, before he spoke again.
"For me," I looked at him quizzically. "You can live for me. So that we will always be there for each other to remind ourselves that someone out there still cares. So that in times like these, we can hold each other and cry until we can cry no more. We can live for each other," he whispered those last words into my ear, and I sank into his arms.
After a few moments, I stood up again and looked into his eyes. The eyes that held so much more misery than I could ever imagine. And I again felt guilty of selfishness. But this time, I didn't cry. He was right, there was no need to cry anymore. So I sank back into his arms. While everyone else had fallen, I was still standing. And suddenly, I was glad I was.
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A/n- Ah, I'm really disappointed with this. I think I could have done a much better job with this, but I'm being rushed. So still review and tell me what you think.
Summary- The second war is over, and everyone in Hermione's life had left her. As she walks through the empty halls of Hogwarts, she reflects on how her life is now.
******
I stared up at the empty sky. There were no stars, there was no moon. Clouds swirled above my head, blocking everything from view. I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran inside away from the pain.
Hogwarts wasn't somewhere I wanted to be anymore. Too many memories floated through the empty hallways. I could still here Ron laughing, Harry grinning. The three of us had so many memories stored away here forever. And they would never leave.
Too many deaths had occurred. The second war brought nothing good out of it, except the fact that Voldemort wasn't terrorizing anyone anymore. But was that a price I was willing to pay? I thought about how unfair life was and how he shouldn't have died just to save the fricken' wizarding world. I built up all of my anger, and then broke down in tears thinking of how selfish I was being.
I know I should be thankful for keeping my life, but what was that worth, when you had nobody to enjoy it with? What was the point of life if you lived it alone and in constant pain? It was five years ago, and I tried to carry on with my life, but I couldn't. Returning to Hogwarts to take over the deceased McGonagall's job only brought more pain. It was the worse decision I had made. But Remus needed me. At least I had him. But really, I didn't. He had suffered more than I did, I knew, because he had lost every single person, besides me, who ever trusted him and who ever accepted him. Being a werewolf wasn't easy. I walked through the empty hallways, my robes trailing behind me. Seeing all of the ecstatic young faces waiting to learn should have excited me, like it did every other teacher, but it only made it worse. It reminded me how I used to be so happy. The damned war had destroyed my life.
I could still remember seeing Ginny's face after hearing her favorite brother had died saving my life, and how Harry, her only love, died soon after. Sure, they said that 'one couldn't survive while the other lived', but they never said anything about both of them dying. Even before that I suffered. My favorite teacher died as well as my least favorite, but that didn't change me caring. Severus was finally uncovered by Wormtail. Wormtail. Peter Pettigrew. He destroyed all of our lives. He revealed Lily and James, he destroyed Sirius, he unveiled Harry, and he never died. Peter lived, lived in disgrace, with the knowledge that he killed every single one of the people he once loved. But it was better that he lived. Better than die and be done with it. I would much rather him live, suffering, wishing that he was dead. And I know he is much to cowardice to kill himself.
I rounded a corner on the second floor and almost ran into the girls bathroom door. I stood, frozen. Pictured flashed through my mind of my second year, and then of every other year. And I couldn't take it. I broke down crying, falling onto the floor. My heart was broken long ago, and it was never fixed. Suddenly, a memory flashed through my head. It was Ron
******
"Hermione, stay back! I can handle this!" He yelled at me. Malfoy senior was standing in front of me, grinning maliciously.
"Your dear Ron can't save you know," he said. He held his wand out and started to mouth the words. I stood defenseless, without a wand and without strength. I thought for sure I was going to die. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact. And then it came. I fell hard to the floor, like something had run into me. I turned over onto my stomach. Wait, I moved? I wasn't supposed to be able to move. I opened my eyes to see Ron dueling with Malfoy. Just as I stood up, a flash of green light shot out of his wand and Ron fell stiff to the floor. I screamed.
"You bastard!" I yelled. He turned, a smug look on his face. And then I screamed the worst spell I could. Aveda Kedavra. Malfoy fell, also stiff. I stood panting, not being able to believe what I just did. But nobody cared what spell you uttered while at war. More than once an auror had said it.
I tore my eyes away from his dead body and ran over to Ron. I knelt down beside him and cried onto his chest. Everything else in the battle went blank, until I heard two screams, one was Voldemort, and one was Harry.
******
That was the worst day of my life, the day I lost two of the people I cared mostly about. I cried and cried at my position on the floor, not realizing that someone was standing over me, watching.
"Hermione." he whispered. I looked up. Remus was standing over me, watching me. I don't know how long he was there, or how long I had been there, but I took the hand he was offering and stood up with him. I cried more into his shoulder.
"I still cant believe they are gone!" I whispered into his chest. He rocked me back and forth, back and forth.
"I know it hurts, Hermione, but its over. Everything is over. There is no need to cry anymore," I looked up at him, anger boiling inside me. Not at him, but at those words he spoke.
"What's the point of living when you have nothing to live for?" suddenly I was spilling all of my emotions into him. "When there is no one there to comfort you anymore, when no one seems to care, when you cry silently but everyone is too afraid to approach you? When people know how close you were to the famous boy-who-lived and the boy who sacrificed everything he could to save you? What's the point?" I tried to yell at him, but my voice was too hoarse from crying, so it was no more than a whisper. He rocked me more, in silence, before he spoke again.
"For me," I looked at him quizzically. "You can live for me. So that we will always be there for each other to remind ourselves that someone out there still cares. So that in times like these, we can hold each other and cry until we can cry no more. We can live for each other," he whispered those last words into my ear, and I sank into his arms.
After a few moments, I stood up again and looked into his eyes. The eyes that held so much more misery than I could ever imagine. And I again felt guilty of selfishness. But this time, I didn't cry. He was right, there was no need to cry anymore. So I sank back into his arms. While everyone else had fallen, I was still standing. And suddenly, I was glad I was.
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A/n- Ah, I'm really disappointed with this. I think I could have done a much better job with this, but I'm being rushed. So still review and tell me what you think.