If I Had Known

Author's note: I have never tried writing HP fanfics before, but I have stumbled upon some wonderful ones over the last couple of days and couldn't resist dipping my hand in the pot. Please read and review and let me know what you think. I used to be called ieatcookies, but after playing with the name generator graciously suggested by Imhilien, I could not resist. I had to take a hiatus on this story before, but now am here to stay! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: All the characters used in this story do not belong to me - save Serenity.

As a man is lowered in the grave, a girl with dark raven hair and onyx eyes quietly sobbed as she laid eyes on the body of her father one last time. She showed very little emotion; if would defile her father's memory to display a lack of control on her feelings, and an insult as his only progeny. After all, her father had the power, and could have been one of the most powerful men in the wizarding world. Could have, would have, should have. But didn't.

And it was all because of her. Her mother.

Who would have imagined the reviled potions master at Hogwarts would have fallen for her mother in all his years of teaching at the school, but he loved her, and dearly. And in return of that love had left her, just a baby, in front of the school's footsteps to be raised alone by her father in order to run off with another man. Left her father, broken, and destroyed any semblance of self he formerly had by reputation. Her father had named her Serenity, in hopes of one day having peace in his heart after what Hermione Granger did to his life and his world.

While Albus Dumbledore offered again his condolences with kind and gentle words, Serenity Snape caught a glimpse of her mother among the mourners. She made an acknowledgement as her mother gazed at her from afar, and did not move when she walked towards her.

Serenity's hatred of Hermione Granger blinded her more than anything else in her 20 years of life. She was not absolutely certain which fault of her mother's she hated the most, but was sure that she wanted nothing to do with this woman - this woman who have given life to her, and nothing else.

When the two women stood face to face, neither mother nor daughter noticed anything else in their surrounding. From a third person's point of view, the similarities between the two were striking - the similar build, height, and lastly, the same texture of hair, which both had styled it to stay straight for once instead of its usual curliness. Not a word was said among them, and as Hermione reached out to embrace her daughter, a cold look from her daughter told her it would not happen - especially not today. Hands were shaken instead.

"Serenity, I'm truly for your loss. your father was a great man." Hermione managed to keep her voice from cracking as she gazed upon the face of her daughter whom she never knew. After twenty years, the fight with Lord Voldemort and his successors had taken a toll on the woman who had loved Severus Snape. As she now talked with her daughter, the journalists as well as other important people in the Wizarding society turned to look at them, and any semblance of intimacy beyond that initial moment washed away - like the look of making peace from her daughter turned back into a hurtful glare.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Minister. Do you come as the minister's wife, or my father's former lover?" Replied the younger woman.

The words hurt Hermione Granger more than anything physical that her biological daughter could have done - it was true. She had married the Minister of Magic, and had been his wife for many years. But the circumstances and consequences of that arrangement had left her with more scars, physical and mental, that she could possibly bear. Enraged by her daughter's lack of understanding, as well as her anguish that she could not disclose her situation made her angry, and she spoke thus.

"Serenity Snape! I understand you may be upset, and I understand that. But by no means are you to talk to your mother that way. I will not stand for it."

"But I'm just telling the truth like it is, mother - you left us for fame and fortune. Sure, he may have married you, but you're still a whore. A well-dressed one, but still a whore." Serenity spoke vehemently. It was true! How dare her mother come to this funeral pretending to care about her father when she willingly ran into the arms of someone with power?

Attracting the attention of the other mourners, the younger Snape glared at the woman who gave her life once more, turned smartly and walked away. Had she cared to even turn around to look at her mother, she would have seen the silent longing for her daughter. But alas, Serenity never saw it.

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Hermione Granger Potter returned to her mansion provided by the Ministry of Magic later that evening sullen and depressed. Over the last twenty years, she has lived with her mistake and has spent many sleepless nights mentally cursing herself for her irreparable actions. She sat at her vanity table, loosening the pins that held her hair in place and began to comb her locks roughly, ignoring shards of pain inflicted by her merciless brush.

Although she did not appreciate the way her daughter voiced her opinions, she had no defense to those accusations. When it came down to it - yes, she was, in a way, a very expensive whore.

'How was I to make those decisions when I was only twenty! I was unprepared, uncertain, and in love with a man that could not or would not tell me! Sure, love conquers all - not in a wizarding world where everyone looks down at you for loving a man that everyone hated. I doubted Severus. how could I not doubt you, Severus.'

As silent tears rolled down her cheeks, she quickly wiped them away when she heard footsteps in the adjoining room, footsteps she had grown accustomed for a very long time. Her husband, the Minister of Magic would be here soon, and it wouldn't do Harry any good if he saw her crying.

She was about to use her wand to use a 'freshening up' charm when a voice came over the doorway.

"It's too late, I already know you're crying, so there's no need for you to hide your face from me."

Harry Potter walked across the room to hold his wife as she lost her iron control of her emotions and truly cried. It was rare for Hermione to cry - rarer that she would let anyone see her suffering. Harry had tried everything to help heal his wife emotionally for the last twenty years, and after all this time, he could not break through her mental barriers. Initially he thought she only needed time for her to heal, but after twenty years, he finally realized that even time couldn't cure all the problems in the world.

"Hermione, I think it's time we told Serenity everything. There is no reason you have to suffer alone anymore, certainly not twenty years." Hugging Hermione, he guided her to their bed and helped her climb under her covers.

"But Harry, Serenity will never understand - she refuses to even be civil with me. I don't understand it."

"That's because her parents are two of the most stubborn and opinionated people I know - or she couldn't be yours otherwise." Harry handed Hermione a handkerchief as he continued. "I don't think the two of us are going to get through to her without explaining the whole truth." A sigh escaped Harry as he poured two cups of tea from a tea set he produced out of his wand. "After all, I was the bastard who stole her mother and wrecked what could have been, a happy family."

"But she doesn't understand the circumstances. She really believed I would have left her for fame and glory - But I can't tell her Harry. If she finds out the truth, then she would only hate you, and that wouldn't make the situation any better, would it!" Hermione replied, accepting the cup of tea from Harry and taking a sip.

"Well, we will sleep on it my dear, and think about what to do in the morning." Harry finished his cup of tea and placed it back on the tea set. With a soft 'pop' with a gesture, the tea set was gone, and several spells later, the room was dim and quiet. "I'll be sleeping in the Red Room tonight, you get some rest." Kissing his wife on the forehead, he drew the drapes on the four-poster bed and quietly exited the room.

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Serenity Snape sat in the easy chair that her father had occupied in the living quarters of the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had been a difficult day greeting the mourners for her father's funeral, but she was also fuming after the confrontation with her mother. Over the course of her life, she had only seen her mother in person less than the fingers on one hand, but the society pages of the Daily Prophet was constantly bombarded with pictures of Hermione Potter, and it was through the media that she was exposed to her biological mother.

She had been going over her father's belongings for the last three hours. She had wanted to cry so very badly sorting through her father's meticulous notes on various types of potions, class lecture notes, and research. His penmanship was perfect, and the thought that he will no longer write anything more or brew another potion had her blinking back tears. But no tears escaped her eyes, and slowly she covered up her emotions into a neutral face of calm and collectiveness. A light scratching sound steered her from her reverie to see a white snowy owl hovering outside the window. It was carrying a letter, and without thinking she took the letter from the bird and rewarded it with a cracker. The owl bowed once, and flew off, soon being a light speck in the sky and gradually disappearing over the horizon.

Serenity watched the owl disappear completely before looking at the envelope. The seal on the envelope was the seal from the Ministry of Magic, and the envelope did not disclose the name of the sender. With a sense of curiosity, she opened it.

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That's chapter 1. Please read and review, constructive criticisms are welcome. Chapter 2 will be posted shortly.