Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the series Beyblade or the characters in this fan fiction. This is a non-profitable entertainment based piece of writing. I also do not own the song "Weakness", it belongs to the band Opeth.
Yay, my first venture into the world of Kai/Tyson yaoi! Yay me! Not sure if this is going to be a one shot or if I'm going to extend it into a story. One thing's certain, if I do decide to extend it, it won't be for a while and I may change the genre.
The rating's sort of precautionary, things get kinda dark in this fic, plus there's a bit of swearing and some other stuff I'm really not sure about yet. Like I said precautionary.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy what I have for now. Tell me what you think, this is my first TyKa, so please be nice and don't flame my pairing please.
Enjoy.
~song lyrics~
Weakness
Tyson sighed miserably.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
It was the same every day. The yelling, the tediousness. Just once couldn't he just get a break from everything, training, Kai, life? But today wasn't meant to be that day.
"What is it now?" he snapped back at his captain, eyes flashing dangerously.
If Kai felt any astonishment at the sudden display of unusual emotions from the holder of Dragoon, he hid it well. "You're not concentrating enough on your training. You're leaving yourself completely open and your blade is starting to wobble. Stop contemplating whatever the hell you were thinking on and get your mind back on the task at hand!"
"I am concentrating Kai!"
Kai stepped up to him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. He glared darkly and Tyson glared right back. "If you don't concentrate and end up loosing this next match, you'll face me tomorrow for private training. Do you understand that?"
"Yes, my captain," Tyson spat.
"Good." Kai released him. He stood back and set Dranzer in his launcher. "Beat me and you get out of it."
Tyson groaned. "Can I give up now without a fight?"
"No."
~Found you there in the blink of an eye~
Great, now I have to spend a whole day with him. Seriously, it's not fair. Tomorrow was supposed to be our day off. Rei and Max are going off doing their own thing, and I'll bet even Kenny has other things besides training to do.
I can't stand him.
Kai.
The very mention of his name makes me want to scream with rage. What does that guy have against me? Man, the way he acts, you'd think I'd killed his favourite pet or something. I swear he has it in for me.
I don't know what it is though, about him. There's just something that niggles at the back of my mind. I can't hate him, and I don't know why. I keep trying, to no avail, yet I still persevere. I'm a stubbourn guy, but even I would have given up normally.
There's just something about him ...
Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow, when I have to spend the whole day with him. That is so going to suck. He's like a machine, he never stops training, even on days he told us we could have off, I'll bet.
I guess I'll just make sure I enjoy myself tonight. Hmm, pizza, chocolate, sodas, new movies borrowed from Maxie. Sounds like a plan.
~I miss you~
Kai growled in frustration, pacing his room.
Contrary to opinion, he did not have time to waste on Tyson tomorrow. He did have other things planned, but the midnight haired boy had irritated him to no end with his lack of concentration, and he'd just reacted as he normally did. With extra training as punishment.
He glanced quickly over to his desk and sighed softly, a desperate look coming to his eyes as he set eyes on a photograph.
"Grandfather," he whispered, shivering slightly. He'd requested a meeting with him tomorrow. And it would not be wise to cancel, despite how much he wanted to. But he couldn't loose face in front of Tyson. He'd just have to cut their training short and hope his grandfather was feeling lenient.
He threw himself down on his wide opulent bed in his large ornate room and sighed, looking at his reflection in the darkened windowpanes. It was pitch black outside and starting to storm. It would be a cold windy night, and a very long one for him.
Filled with the nightmares that plagued him.
Kai closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillows, letting sleep finally claim him, its dark dreams capturing him in their claws as soon as his bold garnet orbs were hidden from the world.
~Turned away into a thousand dreams~
The darkness surrounded and consumed him, smothering, choking, blinding, deafening, stifling.
He had to get out, somehow. He didn't know how.
He cried out, tears pouring down his cheeks, dripping onto his illuminated hands.
Red. Everywhere. It washed over him, like a sea, dripping from his eyes, a dark mockery of his tears of pain. No one could hear him, he was trapped. The way out was blocked by something, someone.
Mocking laughter echoed in his ears, then it started. The pain. The humiliation. He relived every moment of his miserable life, felt every blow, every lash. He couldn't stop it. His screams went unnoticed, almost unnoticed. The laughter continued on, mocking him, taunting him.
He wasn't good enough.
He wasn't strong enough.
He had to make it stop somehow, he had to do something, anything. He had to give in. So he did, he let the pain and the blood wash over him, accepting it, embracing it like a lover. He used it, a shell, a barrier.
They couldn't get through now.
But now, no one else could either.
Was that what he wanted? Did he want to shut everyone out? Did he want to shut him out?
~You've found out what they mean~
Tyson sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily.
"What a weird dream," he muttered with a yawn and a stretch. "I feel kind of weird." He got up and walked out of his room to the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen table and resting his head in his hands. He glanced over at the clock and groaned.
It was only six in the morning.
He decided to sit there for a while, his thoughts running through his mind in a jumble. He was too contemplative to even eat breakfast. That dream was seriously confusing him.
I don't even know if it was me. What could it mean? I saw the blood and the darkness. Who could it be?
Tyson's eyes opened wide.
"Kai?"
There was a knock at his front door and Tyson got up and waddled over there, yawning again. He opened the door and looked out in surprise. "Hey Kai. Weren't we supposed to meet later?"
Kai regarded him coolly. "It's seven Tyson. What are you still doing in your pyjamas?"
Tyson looked at him in puzzlement. Then he ran into the kitchen and looked at the clock in shock. It was seven.
"Wow, I must have been thinking that whole time," Tyson muttered. He smiled weakly at Kai. "Sorry. I'll be out in a second." Tyson stopped suddenly, staring at Kai. "Hey, are you all right Kai?"
"Just Hurry up," Kai muttered darkly to him, ignoring the last inquiry. Tyson shrugged and turned away, dashing to his room, the longhaired boy not seeing the slightly soft, vulnerable look on Kai's face as he turned away.
Why does he even care?
~Lost you there, in a moment of truth~
"Concentrate Tyson! I really don't have time for you to be wasting."
Tyson glared at his captain then shifted his eyes back to the beyblade dish and his Dragoon. "I am concentrating Kai." This was a blatant lie to both of them and Tyson winced, thinking of the verbal lashing he was about to receive. Instead, all he saw and heard was the sound of his blade hitting the floor outside the dish after a collision with Dranzer.
"I'm leaving." Kai informed him coldly once he'd retrieved his blade. "I don't have time for an amateur blader with obvious issues."
"I have issues?" Tyson was sick of Kai's insults. "You're the one who's been moody all day ... no wait, ever since I've met you you've had a huge stick jammed up your ass!"
Kai turned around, his eye blazing. "Maybe it's because I'm so tired of hearing you whine and complain all the time. It takes a lot of resolve to put up with that kind of shit!"
"Like you didn't already have that attitude before you met me." Tyson glared at him. "What the hell is up with you Hiwatari?"
"My business is my own." Kai turned to go away, but Tyson grabbed his arm and turned him back around.
"Don't push me away Kai. I just want to help." Amazingly, Kai didn't pull away immediately. He stared at Tyson in shock and the dark blue-haired blader continued, with a soft look. "I couldn't concentrate because of you Kai. Why do you keep pushing me away all the time? Why do you despise me so much?"
"Why do you care so much about what I think?"
"Because you're my captain, and I want to be your friend, if you'll let me."
Kai stared at him with a blank face then his eyes hardened and he glared at Tyson. "Keep your focus next time. Don't waste it on such pointless trivial things. Now, I have other things to do, I don't want to spend the rest of the day babysitting a child like you."
Kai ripped his arm from the astonished Tyson's grasp, seemingly not caring about the tears that welled up in the corners of his teammates eyes as he turned away and walked off.
~I trust you~
Tyson dashed at his eyes angrily. He stared after his retreating captain's back, feeling a hollowness in the pit of his stomach.
No, he can't keep doing this.
Tyson glared and chased after him. "Hey," he said angrily as he caught up to Kai, the older boy looking at him in some astonishment. "Kai, you can't treat me like that, I'm sick of it. I'm not a child, and I care about you, yet you rip my head off because of that. I just want to be friends."
Kai laughed at him, a sardonic look in his eyes. "Friends?" he asked with a sneer. "Friendship, love, companionship, even comradeship, they're all lies, deceptions that the weak use to feel better about their lives. I have no use for such trivial, pointless things."
"You're wrong, friendship and love do exist."
Kai smirked at Tyson, who looked furious. "Oh yeah?" He grabbed Tyson by the front of his shirt and leaned in close, his lips brushing past Tyson's ear. "So tell me Tyson, have you ever been in love? Have you ever even been kissed?"
Tyson shook his head, disturbed by Kai's behaviour.
"Well then, let's see what love and friendship are truly like." He moved quickly, capturing Tyson's lips roughly with his. Tyson pulled back a bit, both in astonishment and fright, but Kai held tight, one hand behind his head, the other around his waist. He grasped the thick mass of hair tightly in his grip, making the other boy wince in pain, almost crying out, though he could not. He kissed the younger boy with forcefulness, prying his lips apart and thrusting his tongue inside his mouth, not caring that he was squeezing and hurting the boy with his rough behaviour. Tyson kept struggling away from him, from the unwanted rough intrusion into his mouth.
Kai drew back slightly, biting down hard on Tyson's lower lip, drawing blood. He could feel the other boy's tears on his cheeks and he released him. Tyson stumbled slightly and fell, looking away from the older boy, the tears still streaming down his cheeks.
"So tell me Tyson, what do you say to love and friendship now? How did it feel to have that innocent memory taken from you, and remember, that was just a kiss."
Tyson met his eyes, glaring darkly. "You fucking bastard."
Kai looked down at him coldly, his eyes as hard as rubies. "You don't know me, you can never know me, so stop trying. I don't want your offers of love and friendship. I don't want something that doesn't exist." Kai turned away and walked off, this time Tyson let him, the young boy still sitting on the ground, holding onto his knees, crying softly at the hurt he felt inside.
~Gave away your one and only heart~
"You're late."
Kai stifled a shiver at the sound of that dark voice assaulting his ears from the shadows. "I had something to deal with," he replied calmly, trying not to let his grandfather's piercing gaze unnerve him. He sat down before the desk, waiting for his grandfather to say more.
"Yes," Kai felt his heart start to beat faster as he heard the amusement behind the words. "I was told of your training session with the young Kinomiya. I trust that certain events like that shall never happen again?"
"I was merely proving a point grandfather."
"Really?" Kai couldn't control the shiver he felt this time. "Do not be insolent boy, I have no patience for insolence."
"Yes grandfather." Kai bowed his head slightly. "What is it you wished to see me about?" he asked nervously, taking a huge chance by even daring to inquire.
"Kai, perhaps it is time you came home for good. Your time abroad has done you little good. You've become rather rude and unbearable to be around at times." Kai could feel the smile and his heart plummeted. "I think you need to be retrained."
"No ... grandfather," Kai got up out of his seat, his eyes slightly wild. "I'm sure there's no need for that. I apologise for any times that I may have seemed rude, I did not mean it."
"Of course, but I feel it might be best. Some things you have developed in your travels need to be removed. Like the affection you seemed to have gained for your teammates. One in particular."
Kai sweated slightly. "I don't know what you mean grandfather."
Voltaire slammed his fist down on the table and got up. Kai paled seeing his grandfather looking so angry. "Do not be stupid boy, you know exactly what I mean. Do not think me ignorant of anything about you. I own you, I know everything there is to know about you boy. Your feelings are written all over your face. Fear, anger, lust, guilt, shame. Do not try to deny everything. Never forget that you are mine Kai and I can do as I wish with you. You are to be retrained and should you resist, your punishment will be very severe."
Kai shook where he stood, not daring to look up at his grandfather. Two guards came into the room and grabbed his arms. He went with them, completely unresisting, knowing that his life was once again over. The brief freedom he felt being with the Bladebreakers was soon to come to an end.
He was thrown into a cell and the door was locked. Kai leaned up against a wall, knowing exactly what was in store for him soon. He shivered slightly in fear then steeled himself, readying himself for the pain.
He only allowed himself one last thought before closing his eyes and trying to gain some strength through sleep.
Friendship and love ... how I wish things like that were real.
~A gift to tear apart~
"So how was it yesterday?"
Tyson shrugged at Max's question, concentrating on his food. The others had come over early that morning, ready for the next day of training. Kenny was already typing away at his laptop, trying to gain info on the next tournament. Max was sitting with Rei around the table, both of whom were staring at Tyson.
"Come on Tyson, something had to have happened." Max winced suddenly. "Was it really bad?"
Tyson shrugged again, still not meeting their gaze. "We trained. Kai was his usual bitchy, moody self. Only this time worse, because I'd pissed him off so badly the day before."
Max winced in sympathy. "I guess you should have concentrated more on what was going on around you then."
I was, but I wasn't concentrating on the battle. I want to know what's going on with him. There's something seriously wrong and I want to find out, so I can help him. Tyson went back to his cereal, his mind drifting upon Kai and he shuddered slightly thinking about what happened yesterday. But do I really want to get close to someone like him? Is helping him worth the pain I'm sure to suffer? Tyson put his spoon back into his half-finished bowl and sighed. I have to know ... I care about him too much.
"Tyson?" Tyson looked up to see Rei staring at him curiously. Max was talking with Kenny. He'd gotten bored watching Tyson eat. Rei had stayed, noticing that Tyson's mind was elsewhere again, as it had been for a while. "Are you all right?"
Tyson managed a fake smile for him. "Just dandy."
Rei saw through the facade, but couldn't say anything more as there was a knock at the door. Tyson sighed and got up, knowing exactly who it would be. He hesitated slightly before opening the door, steeling himself against the sight of his captain.
Kai barely spared him a glance as he walked into the house. Tyson didn't know if he was pleased or more nervous than before. He followed him into the lounge room where the others were.
"Hey Kai," Max greeted cheerfully. Kenny looked up and smiled then returned to his laptop. Rei started to smile, but he seems to notice something serious was going on and his smile faded.
"Kai?" he asked curiously.
He didn't even look as Tyson entered. The crimson-eyed blader glanced around looking bored. "Seeing as you all reacted so badly last time, I've decided to tell you this in person this time. I'm leaving."
The four younger bladers stared at Kai in astonishment as he then turned and walked towards the door. Tyson shook himself out of his stupor first and followed him to the door. He grabbed Kai's arm and spun him around angrily.
"What do you mean leaving?"
"I'm leaving the piss-poor excuse for a team, I thought that would have been obvious to you."
"Why?"
Tyson thought he saw a flicker of pained emotions in Kai's eyes, but it could have just been his imagination. "That's none of your concern." He pulled away again.
"Bullshit." Tyson grabbed his arm and saw Kai wince slightly. He removed his hand and his eyes widened seeing the bruise on his arm. "Kai ... what?"
Kai's eyes widened and he pulled away. "Just stay the hell away from me Kinomiya, don't bother prying your nose into my business, I don't want or need your concern."
Tyson watched him walk away, a cold hard feeling in his heart. He knew that Kai heard him as he whispered, "So who was it that tore your innocence from you to make you what you are?"
~Stain me, save me~
Why is it so cold?
The darkness, I hate it. My memories always emerge from the shadows, dark horrid things I wished would stay buried. Haven't I suffered enough? Wasn't I good enough? I tried ... isn't that all you can ask of me?
I feel the cold again, brought in by the breeze that flows in from outside, along with the blinding exposing light, as the door slowly opens. I tense, knowing what's coming. Why does he do this to me?
I can't think of it, the only way to get through this is to think of something else.
Tyson.
Why does he care so much about me, even after what I did to him? Why doesn't he stay away like the others, why does he keep trying to know me, to understand what happened?
Why does he want to be near me?
Can't he see the filth on me, the stain from my tormented childhood, the stains that will inevitably rub off onto him if he comes close? I don't understand him. I try to push him away, but it doesn't work. He's too damn stubbourn for his own good. That'll get him in trouble one of these days. I really should say something to him about that.
But I can't. I can't be with them any more. I'm 'training' alone with my grandfather, hoping to become better. How, may I just ask, does something like this make someone a better person?
I hate who I am, who I've become because of this.
No ... he approaches me again, that sick twisted smile on his face. I back up into the far wall, trying to escape. He delights in seeing my fear of him. I think he just enjoys doing this to me. I'm good enough aren't I? I tried to be strong, I was strong, I'm a champion.
So why does he hurt me like this?
Why is it still so cold and dark here?
~Take me to my home~
Tyson sat at home, feeling rather depressed.
Max and Kenny had called over to see him and check up on him, then left, unsatisfied, when Tyson would barely even recognise their presence. Rei, who was staying with him for his duration in Japan, had discovered long ago that it was useless trying to talk to or help Tyson when he was in a slump like this. He didn't know why the normally jovial boy was so melancholy, or what to do to get him out of his funk.
"Tyson?" The Chinese blader asked quietly. "I'm going out to the shops, would you like anything?"
Tyson shrugged, staring apathetically out of the kitchen window.
Rei sighed, staring at the boy in worry. "Okay then. Make sure you get something to eat for lunch. I still have leftovers from last night."
That was another thing that was worrying everyone. Tyson hadn't been eating either. Max and Kenny didn't know what to do, they had no idea what was going on, but Rei had an inkling it had to do with Kai.
Everything had basically started around the time that Kai left them a week ago. He'd seen the distress in Tyson's eyes when the older boy had told them of his abandonment. Rei had a suspicion about Tyson's attention to Kai. No one else tried as hard as he to learn more about Kai and try to get him involved in the team. He knew something had gone down the other day too, but Tyson wasn't saying a word.
Rei looked back at him one more time before slumping his shoulders and heading out.
Tyson watched him leave in his peripheral vision. It was nice that Rei worried, but unnecessary. He couldn't help, how could he know how it felt. A mere week ago, he'd had his heart ripped out and shredded before his very eyes, more than once.
It was amazing how much Kai had managed to hurt him, without Tyson even realising how he felt. But now he did. The hollow feeling in his body, his depression, the urge to cry every three seconds, all symptoms of a broken heart. And he'd had no idea.
How could you do this Kai? Don't you feel any remorse? Would you even care if I demanded an explanation? Or would you just laugh and enjoy my pain? Tyson closed his eyes, a tear slipping down his cheek despite his desire to keep his emotions under control and bottled up.
"I have to find out why you did it all," he whispered. Tyson opened his eyes again and sat up straight, a determined look on his face. "You can't keep doing this to us, to me. I won't let you any more Kai."
~Hold me, Show me~
Kai coughed, blood pouring from his mouth. He ached everywhere, no part of his body was without sharp pains. He hissed as he moved his arm to wipe his mouth, but he cried out desperately, tears leaking from his eyes, as he tried to shift himself into a more comfortable sitting position.
It had happened again. is grandfather had tried to make him 'strong', resistant to all forms of pain. And the best way to do that, in his opinion, is to get used to pain and learn to ignore it.
There's only one problem with that, Kai thought dryly, wincing and gasping as he inched slowly to a sitting position. It takes a lot to get used to rape. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, and I don't want to. Giving in to pain is weakness, and I can't afford to be weak.
It was strange how different their definitions of strength were, yet oddly enough, the method seemed to produce the result that Voltaire wished. Kai put aside his weakness, whether in fear of the punishment happening again, or a self-loathing need to rise above the shame he felt, didn't mater much to the old man. Kai was once again pushing away his emotions.
However, it seemed it still wasn't enough to satiate his own sick desires and tastes. Kai knew he'd be back the next day, despite how for almost a week, he'd been beaten, raped and starved in an attempt to make him 'better'.
So when light once again flooded the dingy, dirty disgusting room, Kai flinched from it slightly. He still wasn't strong enough physically to face his grandfather again. He knew he'd break mentally if he had to go through the torture session again so soon, but he tried to stay strong, though the uncontrollable shivers and small whimpers gave away his distress.
"Gods, Kai!"
Kai's head snapped up hearing the concerned and disgusted voice of his teammate. "Tyson?" he whispered then coughed. More blood appeared on the stone floor beneath him and the trembling in his arms grew too much for him. He collapsed onto the ground again.
Tyson rushed over to him with wide eyes. "What happened to you? Is this why you won't stay with us?" He didn't want to touch Kai until he was sure he wouldn't hurt him more.
"Go away Tyson," Kai coughed. "I don't want your help."
"You're getting it anyway." Tyson hesitated slightly then placed his arms under Kai's armpits, but stopped when he heard the boy cry out in agony. "Kai?"
"Why are you bothering?" Kai gasped once he'd been placed back on the floor. "Why do you care?"
"You're my captain." Tyson grinned at him. "Besides, you may be a moody egotistical asshole, but even you don't deserve this. I won't leave you here to live a life like this."
Kai tried to protest again, but Tyson hefted him up and the world blissfully faded to black.
~Take me to my home~
Kai woke to the feel of cool water on his forehead.
Tyson smiled as he saw the eyelids of his captain flutter slowly open to reveal scarlet depths. "Hey there," he grinned. "Thought you were going to leave me all alone there for a while."
Kai stared at him in shock and confusion. What was he doing here? And why was Tyson tending to him as though he were an invalid?
He tried to move his arm but found he could barely muster the strength to look to the side. Tyson rolled his eyes. "You really shouldn't try to move, you got hurt pretty badly." He held Kai down with a gentle touch, which proved to Kai jus how weak he was that he could be restrained so easily.
"Why?" he managed to croak out.
Tyson didn't answer him straight away, checking up on his wounds, but Kai could see the faint flush about his cheeks. "I couldn't not do anything," Tyson told him without looking at him. "I'd originally come over to tell you a piece of my mind, but when I saw you everything didn't seem to matter any more." Tyson looked him directly in the eye and Kai was shocked to see his eyes brimming with emotion and pain. "I thought I'd almost lost you."
"You shouldn't have done anything," Kai whispered turning his head away and closing his eyes. He heard Tyson sigh miserably and there was silence for a long time as the younger boy tended to Kai's wounds.
Just as Kai was beginning to drift off to sleep again, he thought he heard Tyson whisper, "Don't you see how much you mean to us Kai? To me? I couldn't leave you there." He sighed again and got up to go out of the room.
"Tyson." The younger boy turned back, startled to find that Kai was awake and staring at him intensely. His heart sped up and he flushed slightly thinking on what he'd just said. Kai's face softened slightly then his eyes hardened and he glared. "Leave me alone, I don't want to see you again."
Tyson turned away, tears brimming in his eyes. "Whatever," he said in a choked voice and left the room, closing the door soundly behind him.
~Weaker now, drawing fluid from me~
Rei came to see me today. I think my behaviour's pissed him off. So what's new? I'm always disappointing or annoying someone. Even Rei, it seems, can only take so much before he snaps.
I think it has to do with Tyson. Maybe Rei likes him. That's a laugh. Tyson won't go for him, his heart's taken.
I can feel my ironic grin as I think on this. His heart is indeed taken, by me. The fool. Weren't my actions training the other day proof enough that he'd only get hurt if he came near me, much less tried to love me? But then, Tyson's always been a bit thickheaded. Maybe he thinks he'll be the one to finally break me free from my shell.
You know, he's the only one who actually attempts that futile action. Rei tried at first, but he gave up. I think he realised that it was pointless. I will not let anyone get close to me. But Tyson ...
He just never gives up, no matter how much I try to deter him.
Why am I always thinking of him? What's the point, I hold no regard for him. He's lazy, annoying, frustrating, thickheaded, determined, foolishly loyal, naive, innocent, optimistic ...
That sort of went downhill.
Why does he affect me so strongly? Could it be that ... no, I refuse to let anyone close. I will not let anyone get into another position to hurt me. I must be strong, I have to be perfect, I can't let someone like him come into my ordered life and tear it to pieces.
No matter what my heart says.
~You kill me~
So this is what it's like to die.
It's more painful than I thought.
Rei's worried about me again. I guess I can see why. I'm even worse than I was before. I haven't gone to see Kai again, which I think the others find strange. It's been four days already and Kai's almost healed.
I think I've lost weight. That's probably not a good thing. I haven't been eating, at all. Max has been fussing around ever since Rei blabbed to him and Kenny. I wish he hadn't said anything. Wasting away would be preferable to the pain I feel right now.
I didn't realise how much Kai meant to me. It really hurts to know that he's the one causing me so much pain. Intentionally.
He knows I like him, he's using it against me. It's like that kiss all over again. He won't be satisfied until he's reduced me to a blubbering mass of nothingness. Well, I won't let him. He won't push me around and I won't let him push me away, again.
You know, I'm starting to think however, that my original approaches aren't working. Maybe I should just tell him upfront. Of course, that would be like committing suicide.
Fucking bastard. He loves to toy with me.
Why do I love you so much Hiwatari?
~I'm not afraid of what you have just done~
"I told you I didn't want to see you."
"Tough."
Kai turned around, smirking insolently. "You going to give me that piece of your mind now, or a piece of your heart?"
Tyson shrugged. "What's the difference? Either way you'll shred it to bits, chew it up and spit it out."
Kai laughed. "You're finally learning Kinomiya. It took you a while, but you got there in the end. Well done." Kai turned away again and bent over, wincing slightly, to pick up his shirt and pull it over his head.
"What are you doing?"
"That's a stupid question."
"You're leaving again?"
Kai turned back, a mocking put on his face. "Why? You going to beg me to stay, tell me how much you love me and hope that I'll be swayed enough to stay and live with you happily ever after?"
Tyson flushed, an angry shade, Kai smirked again. "You're pathetic Kinomiya."
"Fuck off Kai, I'm so sick of this. I don't even know why I care so much about you. You're a cold, sick bastard, a sadistic brute who just loves to inflict and get off on pain."
Kai stopped in the process of pulling on his armbands. He turned to face Tyson, an icy look in his eye and the younger boy realised he'd crossed the line with that last comment. "You think so?" Kai asked in a deadly whisper. "Like father like son they always say ... well, in my case it'll be like grandfather like grandson, but let's just test your theory." With amazing speed, Kai launched himself at Tyson and slammed him against the wall, pinning him there painfully, his arms held tightly high against the wall. Kai grinned with a predatory intensity down at him. "Scream for me Tyson, cry, whimper, let's see if I enjoy it as much as you think."
Just as Kai was about to move down and kiss him again, Tyson looked at him through lidded, amused eyes. "So I was right. I do get under your skin."
"What?"
"Why do I affect you so much Kai? You know I'll never stop taunting you, trying to get closer, to get some kind of reaction that isn't automated, not unless you stop reacting to me." Tyson stared at him quizzically. "So why do I get to you Kai?"
Kai stared at him with wide eyes and released him, moving back. Tyson brought his arms down from above his head. "Is it something I say? Something I do? Tell me Kai, why do you keep wanting to keep me silent, afraid?" Tyson stepped back up to him, reaching up to whisper in his ear, "Am I getting to close to you?"
"Shut up," Kai hissed, pushing him away sharply, his eyes wild. "You think too highly of yourself Kinomiya."
"Or maybe I'm right. I'm too close to you, that's why you keep pushing me away. You're afraid you'll lose control of your emotions, of your calm facade. You won't be able to keep yourself hidden, that's why you lash out in hopes that I'll back off." Tyson smiled at him. "Well, I'm not going to back off. I'm a persistent guy Kai, you should know that."
Kai stared at him in shock, his eyes wide, trembling slightly. Tyson could see him struggling with himself. Tyson took a chance and stepped forward, a pleading expression on his face. "Kai, I just want to know you, to help you. I won't hurt you."
Kai looked down, as Tyson placed a hand on his shoulder then spoke. "Tyson, you have no idea who I am, or what I'm capable of." He looked up and grabbed Tyson's hand, causing the boy to gasp in pain. Kai glared at him, his crimson eyes glittering darkly. "I can take much more from you than a kiss, keep pushing and I may just snap."
"I'll take that chance." Tyson stared up at him defiantly with his pale face set.
Kai leaned down and captured him in a rough kiss, once again drawing blood as he bit down with painful force. "The more fool you," he breathed, pushing Tyson towards the bed.
Tyson panicked slightly. His bluffs hadn't worked, Kai was still trying to use pain as a way to keep himself distant. He struggled against the stronger boy, hoping his injuries would keep them on equal footing. But he hadn't counted on Kai being able to heal so fast.
Kai pinned him to the bed, glancing at him coldly, indifferently as he started to unbutton his shirt. Tyson squirmed, but Kai's grip was too strong, and he couldn't get out from underneath the boy straddling him.
"Kai, please," he begged, tears forming in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. "Don't do this."
"I thought you were willing to chance this," Kai replied with a smirk, not stopping in his slow removal of Tyson's garments.
"Could you really live with yourself if you did this to me?"
"I live with a lot of things."
"That's your pain, things that have happened to you. Could you really become like your grandfather and inflict pain like you endured on others?" Kai stopped suddenly, but he didn't release Tyson.
"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you out of my life."
"Then I'll just keep coming back." Tyson heard Kai's intake of breath. "I won't stop in trying to help you Kai. So can you continue to do this to me without breaking? I know I can take a lot, but can you?"
Kai stared down at him. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because I care."
"You truly are a fool, aren't you Tyson." Kai got up off him. "You still persist with that foolish idealism about love. Well I don't believe in it. I will never love you, and you could never truly love me, so stop this masochistic suicide mission and move on."
~But of what you've just become~
Tyson watched from the bed as Kai gathered the rest of his things and headed to the door. "So you're just going to run away." Kai stopped and Tyson snorted. "Typical. You say you're strong, yet you hide from everything, even love. You know it exists and that it's within your grasp, yet you shy from it. I know I'm right Kai."
"How do you figure that?" Kai glanced over his shoulder.
Tyson sat up and spread his arms wide. "Here I am, well, here I was. If I had been wrong, you would have raped me without a second thought and damned the consequences. The fact that you didn't and that even now you're avoiding the situation shows that you do indeed have a heart and you care, if not about me, then at least about yourself." Tyson stood up and moved over to him grabbing onto his arm pleadingly. "Let me help you Kai."
"I don't want you help!" Kai yelled at him pushing him away into the wall. He looked at Tyson in amazement. "How can I drill it into your head? I don't want to be near you, I don't want to be your friend, I do not want your love!"
"Then why did you stop?" Tyson glared at him. "You can't just leave like this and expect that things will get better for you. You won't be able to avoid dealing with this."
Kai opened the door, shaking his head in disgust. "Who says there's anything I have to deal with? Don't think you know me Tyson, that is the one thing that has landed you here in this mess. Don't think that you meant anything to me, because you don't. But for you ... I'm just a memory to you now. Deal with it."
And Kai walked out of the room, his bag slung across his shoulders, his pain weighing down on him heavier with every step he took as he walked away from the only person who ever offered him salvation.
AN: Okay ... what did you all think? That was one of the first really major angst pieces I've done. I couldn't help it, it just fit so well with my mood and my thought patterns regarding the two of them and a relationship. The song is just so perfect for the story too, I'm in love with it at the moment.
So tell me, should I extend it, or make a sequel one-shot, or just give up writing Kai/Tyson all together? (though I was thinking of writing a more humorous one if you wanted)
Anyways, just drop me a review telling me whatever and I'll try to do what I can to please you (rule no1, always keep the people happy)
Laters.