Disclaimer: Since this is a new fic I am rewording the disclaimer but it's still here 'cause unfortunately I still don't own any of the below ideas that can be found in the 'real' Valdemar *sigh*.

A/N Okay work from 5:30am to 5:30pm tomorrow w/  ½ hour for lunch and maybe one 15 minute break at midmorning.  That's on the harvester, and then I might work at the potato house from 5:30pm to around 6:00pm  then  I get home in time to shower, eat dinner and sleep to repeat for the next two weeks, thus there will be a severe shortage of new chapters.  But then there's Oklahoma (the biggest, bestest, Morgan horse show there is)  right then, the next chapter.

            I don't know how long I sat barricading the door and weeping.  Tatty called for me to open the door, Eben joined her at some point, but I ignored them.  Finally a firm knock and firmer voice broke through my storm of self-pity.

            "Cymon, open this door," he didn't need to say immediately, I knew that was implicit in the command.  Reluctantly I moved away from the door and allowed them to open it.

            Tatty, Eben, another bardic trainee I hadn't met yet, a gray clad herald trainee and a brusque old healer filed into the small room.

            "What do you want?" I snarled petulantly at them swiping tears from my face.

            "I just wanted to get into my room.  I promised Theo that I would help him with a bit of musical theory," Eben responded first, gesturing toward the trainee I didn't know.

            "Oh," I said hollowly.

            "And I was trying to set up our next training session," Tatty expressed, her tone colored with concern.

            "I came from the dean of Heraldic to ask you for an objective view of the state of Savannah's chosen," the girl in gray said softly.

            "Azori's the girl's name right?" the healer didn't wait for a response, "she isn't coming out of it as well as Benson had hoped.  We thought maybe you could help…"

            "I don't know the girl!  I don't have an opinion about her state, ask the healer who admitted her herald," I growled angrily at the last two speakers.  The trainee didn't correct my use of the honorific and I glared flatly at her until she left, "I'll meet with you tomorrow at the same time we always meet Tatty," I didn't appreciate her checking up on me.  We always met at the same time, she was just being nosy.

            "Theo and I will go to Theo's rooms until you cool off Cye," Eben said coolly.  The first glimpse of remorse glittered in the back of my mind, but I maintained a flat glare until the healer was the only other person in the room.

            "Will you help us?" the healer asked blandly.

            "I can't, I don't even know the girl," I muttered.

            "You know her companion.  Benson has no connection with her.  You at least have the common bond of her companion, and being the son of two heralds you have a fundamental knowledge of what the bond to her companion is like," the healer made his case.

            For one moment I thought about refusing.  I opened my mouth to say no, but then I remembered Savannah's distress, "I'll try," I heard myself say.

            "Excellent.  Come with me."

            I followed the brisk healer back to healer's collegium pitying myself all the way.  I had amassed quite a crowd outside my door, and yet not a one of its members had expressed the least bit of concern for me.  I was nursing my self-pity when we arrived at Azori's room.

            I was jolted out of such selfish thoughts by the spectacle in the room.  A boy barely older than Eben, and in trainee greens, was standing at the head of the bed beside the despondent girl.  The healer glanced at me and then nodded toward the trainee, who I assumed was Benson, and left.

            I came up behind Benson stared at the back of his head for long minutes.

            "Why don't you stop staring and make yourself useful?" Benson said without so much as twitching in my direction.

            "What do you need me to do?"

            "That depends on who you are … you're the boy who brought her in?"

            "Yes," I replied stiffly.

            "Well come around to the other side of the bed and sit still."

            "Why? What're you going to do?"

            "Just do it, unless you have an objection?"

            "No, not really," I was in a foul mood, but the sight of Savannah's chosen had sobered me. 

            "Good, then do it!"

            I quickly moved to obey.  No sooner had I sat then I felt the healer sorting through my mind.  I fought not to force him out of my mind and finally couldn't resist the need to push him away.  I had to struggle to extricate his mind from mine.

            "Leave me alone," I growled at him.

            "You're stronger than Savannah told me …" the healer mused, oblivious to my outrage, "You know, you might actually be able to help, did you ever consider being a healer?"

            "Not if that's how you treat people," I said with a scowl.

            "Right, well let's see about helping Azori?"

            "I don't trust you!"

            "I should have warned you," he said with something that hinted of remorse.

            "Yes, you should have, but I'm sure you've got some reason you couldn't," I grumbled, not much caring about his excuses, "I agreed to this because the kid's in bad shape and I really care about Savannah, no other reason, so let's get it over with?"

            "Right," Benson closed his eyes and I felt a feather light touch in my mind.  Reluctantly I let down my guard and once more he sorted through my mind, more carefully this time, until he was going through memories of Savannah and the other companions that I had saved since I was an infant.  Slowly he drew a connection between me and Azori; gradually he drew our minds together until they overlapped in some indefinable way.

            I was immediately bombarded with anxiety, fear, nausea, and fragments of memory.  Yelling, fire, more yelling, heavy footsteps, and then silence, flashed through my mind.   Noise returned in the form of a badly played violin, a smaller cousin to the roaring inferno of before crackled merrily.  I was jolted through a stream of images.

            Finally the connection was severed, I gasped for fresh air.  I could still see the bandits coming for my family.  They had killed my brothers and my parents, set fire to our home and then I lost had consciousness.  I shuddered and tried to shake off the shared memories, that hadn't really been me.  Instead more took their place.  I woke up with a rope tied around my wrists, it was too tight.  Other kids were all around me, and their wrists were also bound.

            "What did you do?" I croaked at the healer.

            "I let you see each other's memories," he replied flippantly, "Savannah was worried that you would give the kid a hard time, and Azori needed to feel safe with companions," he shrugged, "I figured that seeing that would make you more amiable toward her and your memories would coax her to trust the white ponies."

            "Did she see what you showed me too?" I asked fiercely.

            "Yeah, not as strongly as you saw it, but she did."

            "You wretch!  How could you do that?  As if living through it once weren't bad enough … what are you trying to do?"

            "I am trying to help her, she needs to come out of this."

            "What can I do to help?"

            "Nothing right now, she doesn't have the strength for anything more today, you can stay with her if you wish, perhaps a comforting voice would help her, I'm not precisely sure."

            I nodded and glared after trainee Benson as he left.  Then I turned to Azori and examined her face.  It was lax and far too pale, if anything she looked worse than when I had brought her in.  I thought about the horrible memories that I had shared with her.  The bandits had been slavers.  They were headed for the nearest border, which had happened to be the western one.  Azori had been terrified of them.  She had been the youngest kid they had picked up and the bandits scared her.  The other kids mostly ignored her.

            I tried to banish the rest of the memories from my mind, they were too hard to reconcile.  I could never have imagined what some of those memories displayed.  Too little food, nearly no sleep and poor shelter had made travel difficult.  Anything that caused the slavers to be upset was immediately and excessively punished.  I shuddered at the thought of their foul language, not to mention all the rest.  I forcefully shoved the whole thing into the back of my mind and made myself concentrate on watching Azori breathe.

            Slowly I managed to regain control of my thoughts.

            "You poor kid," I whispered, "you deserve to get Savannah, I bet you would never have hated me for having her…" I continued watching her deep even breaths knowing that at least that was as it should be.

            "You two will be great someday, you'll be as famous as Talia and Rolan," I moved to kneel on the floor beside the bed, "When you're better you two are going to be a great team," and I'll be there with you, recording it all, on the outside looking in … I added whimsically to myself.

            I stayed with her in the sick room for a few candle marks.  I recounted tales of all the great heralds, I told her about how amazing her own companion was.  I even praised her bravery, but she remained in her despondent state and I had to leave.

            :Sav?: I asked tentatively as I went to my dinner.

            :Is she better Cye?: Savannah asked, knowing that she would likely be the first to know of an improvement through her bond with the girl.

            :Who are you going to tell about her past?:  I asked ignoring the question.

            :No one needs to know more than that slavers kidnapped her, frankly you shouldn't know more than that!:

            :I don't want to!: I cried, :That inane healer made me.:

            :Will you come visit me later,: Savannah's question was so full of the need for a friend that I couldn't refuse her.

            :I'll be out right after dinner, are you okay Sav?:

            :Not really, what if they ruined her?:

            :Ruined?  She's a person, not some thing!  How could they ruin her?:

            :I mean what if she never gets better though…:

            :She will, and if she doesn't she's still your chosen.:

            :But she could never be my herald.:

            :Maybe, we'll talk after I eat, would you like a particular treat?:

            :I'm not very hungry, but I hear you have been learning harp, maybe the music would make me feel better…: her desire for music was obviously forced for my benefit.

            :It would be an honor to play for you Sav,: I replied gravely.

            Savannah didn't offer any further conversation, and I was too hungry to press the issue so I went to the dining hall.  Eben and Tatty were sitting at our usual table when I arrived, but I sat alone.  I needed time to think, to process what I had learned.  Eben and Tatty didn't bother me during the meal, but Eben came over when I was nearly finished and sat across from me.

            "You know roomy, you've been awful for the past few weeks, you skip out on your lessons with Tatty regularly, you scarcely eat, your teachers have all noticed that your work is slipping … we haven't sung together in who knows how long, and you've been downright moody!"

            "I know," I said staring at my plate in an attempt to avoid him.

            "What's up with you then?"

            "I was …"

            "You were what?"

            "I was hoping that when Savannah came home it would be the way it was before, I wanted to pretend like I could be good enough to be chosen.  I hated her chosen on principle, and I envied whoever it would be too.  I wanted to be that person!

            "But I know why I wasn't chosen, look at me, I haven't passed a day without bursting into tears or exploding at someone, or both since I heard she was on her way home, if I want to be honest I haven't been civil since she left.  I couldn't have made it.  Those stupid heralds are too all-fired virtuous for me!"

            "You really think that?" Eben asked me evenly.

            "No," I said grudgingly, "I think that I need to stop talking to you if I want to continue brooding."

            "And do you?"

            I shook my head numbly.

            "Good, look, you are going to be a bard.  You are going to be the best bard this collegium has ever known.  You are not going to be a herald because bards are better than heralds.  Savannah will still love you even if she and her herald have the closest bond ever known.  And now you are going to apologize to the people you hurt the past few weeks, including yourself."

            I stared at him for a moment and then I shook my head in helpless surrender.  If his logic had a flaw I couldn't find it, "I'm sorry Eben," I said quietly.

            "It's okay Cye.  I forgive you."

            "Thanks," I said, surprised that I actually felt better after the apology.  That motivated me to find every person I had reamed out or disrespected since my moodiness began and repeat the procedure, and to my surprise they all forgave me.  That accomplished I headed for the companion's stable. 

            Savannah was alternating between weaving and cribbing in one of the loose boxes.  As I entered she stood stock still.  She knew I would be upset about that.

            "Sav, quit that, you're going to hurt yourself," I chided.

            :I know, but I mean have you ever tried cribbing?  I mean I know its bad for me and all, but the wood doesn't taste so bad and it's such a stress reliever…:

            "First of all, cribbing is a decidedly equine habit, and second I find that engaging in destructive stress-relief causes more problems than it solves."

            :I'm just so worried!: she said as she bit the edge of the stall to crib on it.

            I rapped her nose gently, "I'm not letting you do that Sav, Azori would be furious with me if I did."

            Savannah stopped, blew out a deep breath and then lay down heavily, :Play me a song?  I need to sleep, but I'm just too worried…:

            "Of course Sav, I'm sorry I'm so late."

            :I don't mind, I missed you when I was gone you know.:

            I was saved a response by striking up a slow sleepy tune.  Soon Savannah was fast asleep and not long after that I fell asleep near her.

A/N okay, now I'm really not gonna like waking up in 4.5 hours to work… right hope you enjoy this  chap as much as I liked writing it!   Oh and thanks to Magdellin for his review on chapter 7, I like the author's notes too.