Title: Blessing
Author: Gillian Leigh
Summary: A hospital, a chapel, a prayer, a blessing.
Author's Notes: HEY EVERYONE I'M BACK! I just got my computer back and cranked out a chapter 8 for those of you who've been waiting so patiently! My computer had two viruses and needed a new hard drive, so that's why this chapter took so long. But as compensation it *is* fairly long, and I hope you enjoy it! Oh, and remember how I said way back in Chapter 1 that there would be MSR? Well it begins now!
"I hope Coach D. gets better, Daddy," Gwen said, looking up at her father from where she sat in his lap. Mulder kissed the top of her head, and his somber expression remained. Beside him, Eve squeezed his hand, offering a sad smile.
"Are you going to be alright, Dad?" she asked, quietly. He shook his head.
"I'll be okay if she's okay." He avoided his daughter's worried eyes, and uttered another silent prayer. He heard someone running down the hall, and raised his eyes to see his ex-wife coming down the hall in a steady jog. He sat Gwen in Eve's lap and rose to his feet.
"Listen, Di. I know I was supposed to send them back to you four hours ago, but I need them here now. Dana's going to need them too." Diana shook her head.
"No, Fox. Listen, I didn't come here to give you a hard time. When I went by your apartment to pick up the kids, your friends, Byers, Langly, and Frohike were there. They told me that something happened to Dana and that you and the kids were at the hospital. Is everything alright?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice and expression. Mulder was shocked by his ex-wife's sudden compassion for a woman she admitted to him that she had despised. He was going to question her intentions, but thought better of it, wanting to avoid an argument.
"We took the kids to the park this morning, and when we were playing baseball with them, she felt really woozy, and she just.hit the ground," he said, quietly. "The doctors think that her tumor might be pushing into her brain."
"Oh my God," she said, quietly. "Fox, I'm so sorry. I know how much she means to you, and to the kids. She's all they talk about at home. It's always about Coach D. and Daddy, and how much fun they have." Mulder smiled slightly at the prospect.
Behind them he heard a door open, and turning around, he saw Dana's doctor standing behind them. Diana laid a hand on his arm.
"I'll sit with the kids so you can go talk to her doctor." He didn't know what her reason was for being so kind, but he wasn't about to question it at the moment.
He stepped up to the doctor, and nervously questioned, "How is she?" The doctor pulled him into a separate room, away from the eager faces of his children, Skinner, and Maggie and Bill Scully.
"We really can't be sure what caused her episode today, but it would appear that the tumor has enlarged slightly, though it isn't yet pushing into her brain." Mulder was devastated.
"And I'm afraid," the doctor continued. "That if it continues to grow as it has that she won't make it another six months."
"Doctor," he croaked, his voice breaking. "I can't lose her. There's got to be something you can do. I can't lose Dana."
"Mr. Mulder, we've explored all avenues here. Chemotherapy and radiation aren't working; they're only causing her agony. Surgery is out of the question because of where the tumor is located, and anything experimental hasn't been proven to have enough positive results on brain cancer patients," the doctor said, his calm clinical exterior remaining.
"So what you're saying," Mulder began, angrily. "Is that I'm supposed to sit around and wait for her to die? Are you telling me that I should go into that room and tell Dana to give up?"
"Ms. Carter knows her options. She's deciding what's best in her own medical opinion. It's her choice, not ours. If she wants to quit fighting, I can't say that I would blame her."
"Fine," Mulder said, opening the door. "Then you go out there and explain to my children that you're just going to let their B-ball coach die. You go out there and explain to her family that you, her *doctor*, have given up hope of her ever living to see the age of twenty-eight. And you can take this to the jeweler and explain to him that you're returning it because you told me that the woman I love doesn't have a chance in Hell of surviving her cancer and she wouldn't live to see her own wedding," he concluded, shoving a small velvet box into the doctor's hand before storming out and down the hall.
He walked hesitantly to the front of the dimly lit chapel. He lit a candle, and paused, glancing up at the statue of Christ on the wall before him. A shudder went through his body, and he felt overly humbled, and very out of place. The entire chapel was empty, and Mulder sank into the first pew.
"I don't really know what I'm doing here," he began. "Well, I know why I'm here... I mean. I came to pray for Dana. But I feel like some sort of traitor. You see, I've never been to church before. As a child, my mom and dad took me to Synagogue, but we.we lost faith after Sam disappeared. And now, sitting here in a strange chapel, twenty years after the fact, begging for Divine Intervention, I feel like a bit of a hypocrite." He clasped his hands together, and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm desperate. I don't know what to do for her, but I don't want to lose her. I can't. I know she'd make a fine specimen of an Angel up there, Sir, but I need her down here. She's the driving force that's kept me sane, lately. She keeps me honest, and she keeps me strong. If You could please just do whatever You can to help her get better.I'll." he paused, feeling stupid for "bargaining" with God. "Oh I don't know what I'll do. I'd do anything. I just. I love her so much. Please save her," he concluded, hot tears dripping down his cheeks.
"If we don't get a miracle after that speech, I don't know that we will." Mulder whipped around, and found that Maggie Scully was sliding into the pew behind him.
"How much did you hear?" he asked, his ears reddening.
"All of it. I didn't want to interrupt you, and I'm sorry if you think I was eavesdropping. I wasn't; prayer is a very private thing," Maggie replied. Mulder shook his head.
"No, Mrs. Scully. I didn't think that you were eavesdropping. It's my fault for praying aloud." He paused. "I'm just so lost. I hate that there's nothing I can do for Dana. I refuse to sit back and let this cancer beat her." Maggie put her hand on his shoulder.
"I know it's difficult. But if I know Dana, and I like to think that I do, she won't give up without a fight."
"But she's been fighting for so long..."
"I don't think she'll give up, Fox. She's got far too much to live for," Maggie said, and paused, looking up at the images of Christ. "More than she knows if this little black box means what I think it does." She handed the velvet box back to Mulder, who opened it and looked with longing at the ring inside.
"I've wanted for so long to ask Dana to marry me. I had planned to do it the day her cancer relapsed, and then we had a big blow-out and I've thought ever since that if I asked her to marry me, everyone would think that I was some sort of jerk. I'm afraid that everyone will think that I'm taking the easy way out by asking Dana to marry me, because she wouldn't live to see the wedding. I've been carrying that ring around now, and every day I worry that I won't ever get to see it on her finger."
"No one would ever think that, Fox. The fact that you love her enough to stand by her side while she wages this war is a testament to your love for her. If you want to give her that ring, Fox, do it. No one will judge you badly for it. We all know what she means to you and what you mean to her."
"So then you're giving me your blessing?" he asked nervously. Maggie laughed and hugged him.
"Of course, sweetheart, and Bill feels the same way."
"Thank you," he said quietly, rising off the pew. "I need to go see Dana." Maggie smiled as she watched him go, and looking Heavenward she said,
"Keep an eye on this one, Father. We want him to stick around for a while."
Author: Gillian Leigh
Summary: A hospital, a chapel, a prayer, a blessing.
Author's Notes: HEY EVERYONE I'M BACK! I just got my computer back and cranked out a chapter 8 for those of you who've been waiting so patiently! My computer had two viruses and needed a new hard drive, so that's why this chapter took so long. But as compensation it *is* fairly long, and I hope you enjoy it! Oh, and remember how I said way back in Chapter 1 that there would be MSR? Well it begins now!
"I hope Coach D. gets better, Daddy," Gwen said, looking up at her father from where she sat in his lap. Mulder kissed the top of her head, and his somber expression remained. Beside him, Eve squeezed his hand, offering a sad smile.
"Are you going to be alright, Dad?" she asked, quietly. He shook his head.
"I'll be okay if she's okay." He avoided his daughter's worried eyes, and uttered another silent prayer. He heard someone running down the hall, and raised his eyes to see his ex-wife coming down the hall in a steady jog. He sat Gwen in Eve's lap and rose to his feet.
"Listen, Di. I know I was supposed to send them back to you four hours ago, but I need them here now. Dana's going to need them too." Diana shook her head.
"No, Fox. Listen, I didn't come here to give you a hard time. When I went by your apartment to pick up the kids, your friends, Byers, Langly, and Frohike were there. They told me that something happened to Dana and that you and the kids were at the hospital. Is everything alright?" she asked, genuine concern in her voice and expression. Mulder was shocked by his ex-wife's sudden compassion for a woman she admitted to him that she had despised. He was going to question her intentions, but thought better of it, wanting to avoid an argument.
"We took the kids to the park this morning, and when we were playing baseball with them, she felt really woozy, and she just.hit the ground," he said, quietly. "The doctors think that her tumor might be pushing into her brain."
"Oh my God," she said, quietly. "Fox, I'm so sorry. I know how much she means to you, and to the kids. She's all they talk about at home. It's always about Coach D. and Daddy, and how much fun they have." Mulder smiled slightly at the prospect.
Behind them he heard a door open, and turning around, he saw Dana's doctor standing behind them. Diana laid a hand on his arm.
"I'll sit with the kids so you can go talk to her doctor." He didn't know what her reason was for being so kind, but he wasn't about to question it at the moment.
He stepped up to the doctor, and nervously questioned, "How is she?" The doctor pulled him into a separate room, away from the eager faces of his children, Skinner, and Maggie and Bill Scully.
"We really can't be sure what caused her episode today, but it would appear that the tumor has enlarged slightly, though it isn't yet pushing into her brain." Mulder was devastated.
"And I'm afraid," the doctor continued. "That if it continues to grow as it has that she won't make it another six months."
"Doctor," he croaked, his voice breaking. "I can't lose her. There's got to be something you can do. I can't lose Dana."
"Mr. Mulder, we've explored all avenues here. Chemotherapy and radiation aren't working; they're only causing her agony. Surgery is out of the question because of where the tumor is located, and anything experimental hasn't been proven to have enough positive results on brain cancer patients," the doctor said, his calm clinical exterior remaining.
"So what you're saying," Mulder began, angrily. "Is that I'm supposed to sit around and wait for her to die? Are you telling me that I should go into that room and tell Dana to give up?"
"Ms. Carter knows her options. She's deciding what's best in her own medical opinion. It's her choice, not ours. If she wants to quit fighting, I can't say that I would blame her."
"Fine," Mulder said, opening the door. "Then you go out there and explain to my children that you're just going to let their B-ball coach die. You go out there and explain to her family that you, her *doctor*, have given up hope of her ever living to see the age of twenty-eight. And you can take this to the jeweler and explain to him that you're returning it because you told me that the woman I love doesn't have a chance in Hell of surviving her cancer and she wouldn't live to see her own wedding," he concluded, shoving a small velvet box into the doctor's hand before storming out and down the hall.
He walked hesitantly to the front of the dimly lit chapel. He lit a candle, and paused, glancing up at the statue of Christ on the wall before him. A shudder went through his body, and he felt overly humbled, and very out of place. The entire chapel was empty, and Mulder sank into the first pew.
"I don't really know what I'm doing here," he began. "Well, I know why I'm here... I mean. I came to pray for Dana. But I feel like some sort of traitor. You see, I've never been to church before. As a child, my mom and dad took me to Synagogue, but we.we lost faith after Sam disappeared. And now, sitting here in a strange chapel, twenty years after the fact, begging for Divine Intervention, I feel like a bit of a hypocrite." He clasped his hands together, and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm desperate. I don't know what to do for her, but I don't want to lose her. I can't. I know she'd make a fine specimen of an Angel up there, Sir, but I need her down here. She's the driving force that's kept me sane, lately. She keeps me honest, and she keeps me strong. If You could please just do whatever You can to help her get better.I'll." he paused, feeling stupid for "bargaining" with God. "Oh I don't know what I'll do. I'd do anything. I just. I love her so much. Please save her," he concluded, hot tears dripping down his cheeks.
"If we don't get a miracle after that speech, I don't know that we will." Mulder whipped around, and found that Maggie Scully was sliding into the pew behind him.
"How much did you hear?" he asked, his ears reddening.
"All of it. I didn't want to interrupt you, and I'm sorry if you think I was eavesdropping. I wasn't; prayer is a very private thing," Maggie replied. Mulder shook his head.
"No, Mrs. Scully. I didn't think that you were eavesdropping. It's my fault for praying aloud." He paused. "I'm just so lost. I hate that there's nothing I can do for Dana. I refuse to sit back and let this cancer beat her." Maggie put her hand on his shoulder.
"I know it's difficult. But if I know Dana, and I like to think that I do, she won't give up without a fight."
"But she's been fighting for so long..."
"I don't think she'll give up, Fox. She's got far too much to live for," Maggie said, and paused, looking up at the images of Christ. "More than she knows if this little black box means what I think it does." She handed the velvet box back to Mulder, who opened it and looked with longing at the ring inside.
"I've wanted for so long to ask Dana to marry me. I had planned to do it the day her cancer relapsed, and then we had a big blow-out and I've thought ever since that if I asked her to marry me, everyone would think that I was some sort of jerk. I'm afraid that everyone will think that I'm taking the easy way out by asking Dana to marry me, because she wouldn't live to see the wedding. I've been carrying that ring around now, and every day I worry that I won't ever get to see it on her finger."
"No one would ever think that, Fox. The fact that you love her enough to stand by her side while she wages this war is a testament to your love for her. If you want to give her that ring, Fox, do it. No one will judge you badly for it. We all know what she means to you and what you mean to her."
"So then you're giving me your blessing?" he asked nervously. Maggie laughed and hugged him.
"Of course, sweetheart, and Bill feels the same way."
"Thank you," he said quietly, rising off the pew. "I need to go see Dana." Maggie smiled as she watched him go, and looking Heavenward she said,
"Keep an eye on this one, Father. We want him to stick around for a while."